Help! Cannot Believe I Cried

[coochieman]

Long time brothers. I have been hovering around the forum silently though.

I though I was stone-cold-no feelings until today.

I cried. For the most childish of reasons. There was nothing I could do to stop the saltwater rivulets at that time..... Immediately I knew I had to report back to the brotherhood.

A little background:
My first oneitis drove me here few years back. I disvirgined her and hopelessly watched her make a mess of her self. I felt compelled to play white-knight 'cos I felt "responsible" for her. How foolish, it never brought her back.

Now :
Two/three years afterwards, I am 22, plenty sex partners in between and fake (based on lies just for sex) relationships, it is happening again. Just when I thought I had found someone worthwhile, just when I felt love and loved again....
I met my new (really pretty, 18 y.o.) girlfriend August, she lost her virginity to me sometime in october and has definitely invested more into our affair, the tremendous feelings I have for her is so shameful to admit.

Despite, I have girls on hold, still approaching chicks tho' to keep my game in check, I found it impossible to actually bang any other girl even while I was away working, as a matter of fact, I had my first gf (the one that drove me nuts) come back begging for a second chance and I bounced her off cos I really did connect with this new girl.
Sh!t, I even had a babe begging me to "please, kiss her" tonight, but my mind's still sour from my girlfriend, some of you know that feeling.

Miss new is going through the same phase, party mode. She looks all skinny and messed now. I can't start listing. Yesterday, she leaves her house @ 6pm to party along with "two dudes", returns by 4am and has her ass beaten up by her elder brother.
What annoys me most is how she's playing the victim, "how nobody understands her", "how they are ganging up against her in her family", "how she hates them" and "how she has got plans to hit back".... I called her out (which I've been avoiding for a while so as not to sound too judgmental). I tell her how despite all the pressure I put on her she's still just a "teenager".
As I'm expressing my disappointment, I begin to drift into anger, speaking from a more emotional "boyfriend" source, bordering on neediness betadom, I noticed, kept quiet and asked her to leave. She begins to beg. I stay quiet and she leaves.

Rationalizations aside: I'm losing her to herself, she must ride the carousel and learn for herself. Teenagers are too fickle, too young, too gullible. Especially with the attention the beautiful ones get. I pray she snaps out early before destroying herself.

Two hours later, alone in the recesses of my room, I shed tears for a while, cos like I told her "fucck having sex, I would rather have you go and wreck yourself than stay and watch it happen". She was noticeably sad after those words.

I really did try to prepare her mentally, especially after her first time. But, she must make her mistakes. I refuse to white-knight and save-a-hoe. After all, all prostitutes were once nice little virgins.

I'm travelling 10 states away today. I wish her the best. I must move forward now.
Maybe behind all my Mr. Stoic Alpha I'm just a Beta waiting on love! Ugh!

Is it always Beta to cry for a hoe?
Anybody ever shed similar tears?
Anybody ever witness a good girl go bad?
Thoughts?

 

[Kbomb]

Crying is a healthy and vital activity. You are a human being. You have emotions. Trying to repress feelings leads to the damming of the energy which eventually leads to the break. Let it all in, feel that sadness and longing and loneliness fully. There is no shame in your emotions because there is nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[thatfeel]

It's the sad moments you have that will open your eyes to all the good ones you weren't paying attention to.

 

[gravityeyelids]

As long as you don't cry in front of her, i think you're good. Happens to the best of us. It's great to be detached, but you've gotta be emotional sometimes. Preferably by yourself or with a real close friend.

But as my military grandpa always said..."never let 'em see you bleeding!"

 

[Starfvcks 64]

You weren't crying, it was allergies.

But I feel for you. Like RoyalFlush said, watching a "good" girl turn to a wh0re is the worst part of a breakup.
The sad part is, that's just how it's going to go. Every girl is innocent at some point, and once they cross a line they will keep going more and more.

You either have the girl who "saved herself" and then slvtted out later in life to make up for lost time, or the girl who slvtted around at a younger age, and is now a reformed slvut burnt out on sex.

"The moral is this: Never fall in love cuz a bltch is a bltch. "

Don't feel bad for crying, as long as you learn something from it.

 

[MtnMan]

dude, i shed a tear maybe once or twice a month on average (maybe more, not sure), sometimes for pretty much meaningless ****. Not very often in front of other people, but sometimes. Crying is a normal human reaction to certain ****, the fact that you are concerned that you shed a tear should tell you something.

 

[VladPatton]

WTF did you cry for, man? This chick is just starting to figure things out, and when she does, she's gonna get shıt you only dreamed of just by using her puṣṣy alone! She just didn't figure it out yet, but she will in due time. While you'll be crying and sulking she'll be hoping on the cὀck carousel without a care in the world for you. Been there, done that, and I was wrong every time for feeling bad about these bıtches!

Get your head back on, man.

 

[rushing dude 123]

Well done sounds to me like you did the right thing. A lot of 18-23 yr old girls are quite susceptible to wanting to try out other things...especially with the constant temptation they get. However this is not always the case, but something to be weary of.

Chicks who are 24+ usually have been through all the games and find out that the whole young naieve thing usually ends up in guys playing, so they are less off the rails than their younger counterpart.

 

[JoeMarron]

Yeah its ok to cry as long as you aren't weeping in front of people. Save that sh!t when you're in private.

Teenagers are too fickle, too young, too gullible. Especially with the attention the beautiful ones get.

This. Most of them aren't worth bothering trying to be monogamous with. Add in the fact that she's hot and you'd be better off trying to find a unicorn.

 

[Jair213]

It's totally ok to cry bro. We are emotional beings. Just dont cry infront of her or let her know. It seemed you really loved this girl. All good bro. Just keep on.

 

[Mr_Stinky]

I really did try to prepare her mentally, especially after her first time. But, she must make her mistakes. I refuse to white-knight and save-a-hoe. After all, all prostitutes were once nice little virgins.

I'm travelling 10 states away today. I wish her the best. I must move forward now.
Maybe behind all my Mr. Stoic Alpha I'm just a Beta waiting on love! Ugh!

Is it always Beta to cry for a hoe?
Anybody ever shed similar tears?
Anybody ever witness a good girl go bad?
Thoughts?

Bolded is BEAUTIFUL!

And all dudes shed tears after an emotional breakup. Just don't let her see a single one. Bill Burr recommends a good cry (or three) after a breakup, followed by "working one out" and then to be on with it.

It's not bad advice.

 

[DragonBlood]

I feel where your coming from, but you have to understand from DAY ONE that if you invest in a girl who is 18 or so, she will be a different person by 25. You will be different to btw.

This could lead in many directions what arent your concern but you cant control this person any more than you can control a caterpillar. The person you knew to some extend doesnt exist in her anymore but if you focus on someone more in the 24-30 bracket you will probably find the consistency you want. Not stability, but certainly consistency!

Dont let it get to you bro you had the best of her whats to think about here?


Regarding weakness, I dont see anything directly wrong in showing a women (or anyone) weakness with exception of if its directly about them or if your fully aware it will later be used against you. A constant flow of defensive macho is no good!

 

[_sideways_]

WTF did you cry for, man? This chick is just starting to figure things out, and when she does, she's gonna get shıt you only dreamed of just by using her puṣṣy alone! She just didn't figure it out yet, but she will in due time. While you'll be crying and sulking she'll be hoping on the cὀck carousel without a care in the world for you. Been there, done that, and I was wrong every time for feeling bad about these bıtches!

Get your head back on, man.

Cold hearted vlad.....but I needed ice for all this cool aid. I'm gonna remember this.