Hey im a 22 year old guy, and im bad at sex. My girl is 21 and she is equally as bad as i am the second guy she's been with. Some times I cant get it up, or when I do, I get soft inside her, and i never bust, this has happened at least 8 times. We've tried diff positions, and the problem is that we don't get to do it often b.c of differing schedules. Ive tried foreplay and stuff (she hasnt sucked me off bc she doesnt believe in that) What should I do? At first It didnt bother me but when i asked her about the other dude she was with she said that he was better. My ego kicked in and now im annoyed. What should i do?
Help.... bad at sex?
- Thread starter compaqp86
- Start date
First of all, don't discuss her previous sexual encounters. It's going to lead to nothing but self-doubt and/or false sense of pride. Plus, it shows that you're insecure. Showing insecurity vs having insecurity are two things that need to be worked on separately.
Anyway, check your comfort level. Are you AND her comfortable with each other? You might be trying a bit too hard, trying to perform under pressure as some would put it. Don't "try" foreplay. Do foreplay. Foreplay is key to good sex. Especially if it's with someone you care about. Are you a healthy, fit guy? Do you exercise? Exercising makes you stronger (physical, cardiovascular, etc.) which in turn will increase your endurance in bed.
Have you tried developing sexual tension between you two? It's when you do little sexual thing like stroke the back of her neck/kissing her neck/her stroking your chest/etc. Key is to not "jump the gun" like making out with her right away or fingering her right away. My point is, be so turned on by her that you just can't wait to **** her brains out....and when you get to that stage, keep waiting. If you do it right, it will work wonders for you in bed.
Hope my perspective helps.
Anyway, check your comfort level. Are you AND her comfortable with each other? You might be trying a bit too hard, trying to perform under pressure as some would put it. Don't "try" foreplay. Do foreplay. Foreplay is key to good sex. Especially if it's with someone you care about. Are you a healthy, fit guy? Do you exercise? Exercising makes you stronger (physical, cardiovascular, etc.) which in turn will increase your endurance in bed.
Have you tried developing sexual tension between you two? It's when you do little sexual thing like stroke the back of her neck/kissing her neck/her stroking your chest/etc. Key is to not "jump the gun" like making out with her right away or fingering her right away. My point is, be so turned on by her that you just can't wait to **** her brains out....and when you get to that stage, keep waiting. If you do it right, it will work wonders for you in bed.
Hope my perspective helps.
Joe The Homophobe
Master Don Juan
you're right. The problem is that many guy's idea of what sex should be is based on what they see in a porno movie and that is just wrong. Porno movies get straight to the action because they are movies and people don't have the patience to see things develop from foreplay to the nitty grittyThe Bat said:
Instead of getting straight to the action like in porno movies you should be more of a latin lover/james bond type. Try to seduce your girl first. If what you're doing is going into a room, getting naky right away and going straight to business, how long will the whole process last? 2 or so minutes
I don't want to get graphic but..
instead it should be more like 10 minutes!! It would be 2 minutes of making out with clothes on, then the process of removing her clothe starts, 1 by 1, only after you have kissed her whole body should you throw her in the bed
LegendaryGame
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Listen up I know your situation. That happened to me a while back and i didnt understand it either. i thought it was my lack of confidence, my approach system. but in the end it was neither. lack of foreplay, not that either. It was the following reasons.
don't masturbate for a minimum of a couple days for excellent results
dont eat high in fat foods prior to sex
i personally am against trojan, and lifestyle condoms. durex ribbed has worked wonders.
don't let her ride you as that is a difficult position for your situation to keep it up, instead try getting ontop of her and also doggy
do control your speed, ranging from slow to super slow to faster.
if these all don't work u must go bare if she takes birthcontrol.
i myself can not bust unless i am going bare. it just can not happen, the sensations are too different.
after all those methods i implemented, i am not worried about sex, i cant wait for it and my partner is satisfied always. she is tired before me and id like to continue. you must treat your soldier well so he can battle, otherwise hell retreat.
don't masturbate for a minimum of a couple days for excellent results
dont eat high in fat foods prior to sex
i personally am against trojan, and lifestyle condoms. durex ribbed has worked wonders.
don't let her ride you as that is a difficult position for your situation to keep it up, instead try getting ontop of her and also doggy
do control your speed, ranging from slow to super slow to faster.
if these all don't work u must go bare if she takes birthcontrol.
i myself can not bust unless i am going bare. it just can not happen, the sensations are too different.
after all those methods i implemented, i am not worried about sex, i cant wait for it and my partner is satisfied always. she is tired before me and id like to continue. you must treat your soldier well so he can battle, otherwise hell retreat.
In the h&f thread, they were recommending to guys not getting it up to supplement with zinc, arginine and tribulus as to raise testosterone levels, but I don't think that is the problem w/you. I guess just find time to get comfortable with each other and the juices will flow.
Dongfu
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“When making love with your partner you need to give their body a desire. Gently run your fingertips all over her body barely touching the skin. Do this for 3-4 minutes without touching the breasts or ****oris then slowly work your way up to her breasts but DONT touch her nipples. Circle her breasts with the palms of your hands and fingertips. You can occasionally kiss gently around her breasts but DON'T touch her nipples yet - touch below and above them but not on them.
This will start to drive her crazy - you have created a desire for you to touch her nipples. You are not giving her something she wants. After a few minutes of teasing her very very softly touch her nipples. Then continue to circle the nipples gently with your fingers then gently lick once or twice next to each nipple but not on it.
You are in total control - she is being driven insane by now. You have created an excitement and desire within her sexual being. Now when you feel she is ready - she will let you know it is time to move on to the next step, the beginning of intercourse.
It is important not to weaken and begin to grope and paw at her breasts and body, and do not touch her ****oris in this teasing phase - it will only turn her off. The purpose is to create a want. Don't weaken - stay in control, this is only the warm-up for great love making.
Now, you're both ready to go... you're hard and ready, and she's giving you that look that says she wants it. You just want to plunge straight in - and she's cheering you on. DON'T DO IT!
You haven't gone to all this effort to blow it all now, pardon the pun. Now - you've got to really start torturing her.
Touch your penis to the lips of her ****oris... gently. Softly rub your penis over her ****, letting her know it's there, ready to enter .. if you want it to. You are now completely in charge, and in total control of the situation. You're going to tease her until she screams for you to put it in!
Now, she's asking you to put it in... but you don't. Keep teasing. She asks more urgently... you still don't. You are in control, and she's loving it - not knowing when you're going to enter! Keep teasing, gently rubbing, even if she does scream for you to put it in.
Only when she begins building towards orgasm do you move it further in... just half an inch or so, very slowly, in and out. After a little while (staying in control!) move it slowly in a full inch... gradually, keep increasing the amount you put it in, until it's almost the whole length.
Remember, if you enter the entire length - ram it in - you will make contact with her ****, and this we don't want; the object is to tease her, make her want you to thrust all the way. The longer you tease her, and yourself, the more intense your orgasms will be.
Now, she's quivering with desire. Speed up a little - not to ramming speed though - and it'll push her over the edge. She may scream, she may call at your name (hopefully!) or she may just whimper softly - but you'll know you've given her an orgasm. But keep going! Keep moving in and out, faster now; she'll orgasm again - more quickly now, with no need for teasing. You can speed up even more if you wish (and can) - but don't resort to 'ramming' her hard.
She may have several more orgasms .. or only one more. Two to five is the norm, and this may be the first one she's had in a long time! If you've been able to keep going past the first one, that's great .. but even if you *** now, it will be one of the deepest and most incredible orgasms you yourself have ever had.
Refine your technique; try to make yourself hold off longer and longer. It will enrich the sexual experience for both you and your partner.”
This will start to drive her crazy - you have created a desire for you to touch her nipples. You are not giving her something she wants. After a few minutes of teasing her very very softly touch her nipples. Then continue to circle the nipples gently with your fingers then gently lick once or twice next to each nipple but not on it.
You are in total control - she is being driven insane by now. You have created an excitement and desire within her sexual being. Now when you feel she is ready - she will let you know it is time to move on to the next step, the beginning of intercourse.
It is important not to weaken and begin to grope and paw at her breasts and body, and do not touch her ****oris in this teasing phase - it will only turn her off. The purpose is to create a want. Don't weaken - stay in control, this is only the warm-up for great love making.
Now, you're both ready to go... you're hard and ready, and she's giving you that look that says she wants it. You just want to plunge straight in - and she's cheering you on. DON'T DO IT!
You haven't gone to all this effort to blow it all now, pardon the pun. Now - you've got to really start torturing her.
Touch your penis to the lips of her ****oris... gently. Softly rub your penis over her ****, letting her know it's there, ready to enter .. if you want it to. You are now completely in charge, and in total control of the situation. You're going to tease her until she screams for you to put it in!
Now, she's asking you to put it in... but you don't. Keep teasing. She asks more urgently... you still don't. You are in control, and she's loving it - not knowing when you're going to enter! Keep teasing, gently rubbing, even if she does scream for you to put it in.
Only when she begins building towards orgasm do you move it further in... just half an inch or so, very slowly, in and out. After a little while (staying in control!) move it slowly in a full inch... gradually, keep increasing the amount you put it in, until it's almost the whole length.
Remember, if you enter the entire length - ram it in - you will make contact with her ****, and this we don't want; the object is to tease her, make her want you to thrust all the way. The longer you tease her, and yourself, the more intense your orgasms will be.
Now, she's quivering with desire. Speed up a little - not to ramming speed though - and it'll push her over the edge. She may scream, she may call at your name (hopefully!) or she may just whimper softly - but you'll know you've given her an orgasm. But keep going! Keep moving in and out, faster now; she'll orgasm again - more quickly now, with no need for teasing. You can speed up even more if you wish (and can) - but don't resort to 'ramming' her hard.
She may have several more orgasms .. or only one more. Two to five is the norm, and this may be the first one she's had in a long time! If you've been able to keep going past the first one, that's great .. but even if you *** now, it will be one of the deepest and most incredible orgasms you yourself have ever had.
Refine your technique; try to make yourself hold off longer and longer. It will enrich the sexual experience for both you and your partner.”
Paintballguy
Master Don Juan
kiss her neck, blow on it..... take control, dominate her.
Your stressing out and its ruining you. Just go with it.
Your stressing out and its ruining you. Just go with it.
ValleyDJing
Master Don Juan
Get a hotter and cooler gf.compaqp86 said:
God damn.....compaqp86 said:
Okay that was pandora's box asking that question of yours.
That aside, erectile dysfunction at your age is likely due to stress. You could try taking 1/2 a viagra or cialis if you have access to it (IM NOT A DOCTOR) and I have buddies that try that when the problem arises due to their drug use (steroids).
But then again, chemicals should be a last resort.
Last Man Standing
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Ask the other dude for tips!compaqp86 said:
In fact, ask him if you can use his penis - this hor will be satisfied then!!!!!
The hor doesn't need stimulation - your mind does!!
..
ya i had the same problem a few weeks ago with this 1 chick. It happened a 3rd time in a row now.. =( I just don't know what it is, its something about her i think. I'm not stressed, i work out, don't smoke, don't drink, don't do any drugs, i can do the foreplay for hours without getting a hard on. I told her sorry that i couldn't get it up, and now i think shes pissed off and my chances with her are ruined. Because that 3rd time she was really ready to go as soon as i walked into her house she was jumping on me. I usually finger her or give her oral, but she refused it this time. Worst night ever.... I'm 100% comfortable with her but she won't give me head, she only trys to give me a handjob which she isn't very good at. I think i may need to get some viagra, who knows if i'm still with this girl =(
The Deacon
Senior Don Juan
You just gotta practice this stuff man. No one is that great when they first start out. Just don't forget to use foreplay.
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
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WHATCH PORNO TOGETHER.. NAH DONT DIO THAT CAUSE THEN SEH WILL GO LOOKING FOR A GOOD SEX PARTNER SO read the carma sutra together instead...
