Hello everyone... need fast advice on an unusual problem, please.

[GhengisKhan]

Hello... I'm not even sure that this is the right place to ask this; I need help getting a girl to not like me. My good friend is newly single and it's pretty obvious to me she sees me as a prospect. She's not at all unattractive; I'll admit I was attracted to her at first (when she was in a solid relationship which I respected enough to not make any moves), but as I got to know her better I realized she was not at all my type: she's a friendly, sporty, girl-next-door type that a lot of guys dig, but I like women that are challenging, wild, and intense. I think of her like a little sister, we really are pretty close friends. There's just no way things would ever connect on my end. So: how do I turn her off as a woman without turning her off as a friend, offending her, embarrassing her, or just generally making her think I'm an awful guy? I thought I could invite her to hang out and bring her around some of my single guy friends, but I'm worried that would totally backfire on me.

 

[foreverAFC]

Hello... I'm not even sure that this is the right place to ask this; I need help getting a girl to not like me. My good friend is newly single and it's pretty obvious to me she sees me as a prospect. She's not at all unattractive; I'll admit I was attracted to her at first (when she was in a solid relationship which I respected enough to not make any moves), but as I got to know her better I realized she was not at all my type: she's a friendly, sporty, girl-next-door type that a lot of guys dig, but I like women that are challenging, wild, and intense. I think of her like a little sister, we really are pretty close friends. There's just no way things would ever connect on my end. So: how do I turn her off as a woman without turning her off as a friend, offending her, embarrassing her, or just generally making her think I'm an awful guy? I thought I could invite her to hang out and bring her around some of my single guy friends, but I'm worried that would totally backfire on me.

you need to watch the Seinfeld episode called "The Pick""

 

[nroug7]

Friendzone her, as hard as it is to believe, guys can friendzone girls, just don't mention it aloud.

 

[alotofpots]

Do purposeful things to make you unattractive to her. Ignoring her or not showing interest actually creates interest, so don't do that... forget to wear deodorant when you see her. Make fun of something, in a bigoted ******* way, that you know she likes. Act beta. Be really nice to her. Don't say that you should just be friends, because again, this will have the opposite effect the hotter she is and the more she gets hit on. Just act like a beta clueless slob and you should be fine.

 

[GhengisKhan]

foreverAFC: Haha... good episode. I actually briefly contemplated that very move without having ever seen it (just naturally devious, I guess), but that's not too good an idea here. This is a rather delicate situation; not only do I not want to lose a good friend, but if I don't handle this right I could potentially cut myself off from a whole bevy of hotties: we're both prominent figures in a pretty large network of people... loose lips sink ships. I would let this girl be giggly and flirty with me before to make other females jealous but a couple weeks ago she pretty much straight up ****blocked me so I had a feeling there was an imminent problem.

nroug7: I thought I'd already friendzoned her; how do I make her get it without getting her too upset. As I mentioned above, she has the capability to cause some pretty serious social damage if she gets angry.

alotofpots: As above; I can just hear the ladies' room discussions: this could devastate my status with several desirable women. I figure that my best three options are a) temporarily getting serious with someone else (which I'm not looking to do.) b) fix her up with one of my buddies. I don't know how to pull off plan b without either offending her or making her think I'm interested myself. c) turn her off from me in some fashion that will not piss her off or make myself so goofy that she can't resist telling someone else about it.

 

[alotofpots]

Usually, the worse a woman talks about you, the more intrigued the other women she talks about you with will become. Weird, but it is true in most cases. I could see this backfiring with more rational potential dates though, so if you want to not take risks, hook her up with one of your buddies then; but this may not work, either. Try it first though and let us know what happens.

 

[GhengisKhan]

Usually, the worse a woman talks about you, the more intrigued the other women she talks about you with will become. Weird, but it is true in most cases. I could see this backfiring with more rational potential dates though, so if you want to not take risks, hook her up with one of your buddies then; but this may not work, either. Try it first though and let us know what happens.

Yeah, thanks, I've pretty much made up my mind to go this route. That being so, do you think it's better for me to bring them together casually or to openly set them up? I figure that if anything will send the message "you're just a friend to me," the latter choice will; however, if she's totally fixated on me (which seems probable), it might brutally crush her (which I really don't like to do to anyone, let alone someone I genuinely care about as a friend) and/or make her irate. Either way, I'm going to wait a week or so in the faint hope she just decides to reconcile with her ex.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Next time you are around her work into the conversation that you met a really awesome girl someplace. Make up a short story, not too detailed.

"Yeah, I was at that [coffee shop, store bar] the other night and met this really amazing girl. Jenna was her name. We really hit it off. I think we are going out Tuesday night."

Or something like that.

Now, some may say that this (1) pre-selection and (2) jealously plotline might backfire. However, in your case, I think it would only backfire if you worked this angle by making her just see you with other women from afar and/or hear it through the rumor mill.

However, if you work it into conversation with her, it might give her the signal that you see her only as a friend, that you in fact friendzoned her.

Even ask her advice on how to pursue this mystery girl.

Later, you can simply say it didn't work out, i.e., she was crazy, she had issues, she had a BF she didn't tell you about, whatever.

But this will let your friend know you don't see her as a potential partner but rather as a girl-friend.

 

[GhengisKhan]

Even ask her advice on how to pursue this mystery girl.

Oh dude, thanks! That's perfect, I can't believe I didn't think of that! Not only will it likely solve the problem, but I'll get to have some secret laughs later on at all the s*** advice she'll give me! :crackup: