Hello everyone.....I have a little problem i need help with....

[Albert Gamboa]

ok, i take that back, its a BIG problem.
My girlfriend dumped me 2 weeks ago because i got pissed off at a bartender at one of my relatives restaurants and i told her i was gonna get her fired for the stupid **** she did.
Now, my g/f didnt dump me on the spot, instead she got really angry and told me i should NEVER go off on someone like that especially someone thats working to make a living honestly or even threaten to end their job etc...
I told her i was sorry but that I just got pissed off about the situation and she started crying telling me i should NEVER do that again and I told her I wouldn't, she kept repeating the same thing over and over so I told her I was gonna leave and come back in an hour and I did. Got back and everything was better so we pulled out of the bar and left for another one. After the other bar I drove her home and came to mine.
She told me how i gave her reason to fear me cause of the way I acted against the bartender etc.. and I told her I'd never do that to her or even think about hitting her.
That was on a Friday.
Saturday after that, we meet up and watch movies at her house all night pretty much, she wasnt very active she was really relaxed but i sensed some insecurity in her.

Well anyways, Sunday I didn't hear from her, her mom said she was sick so i tried calling at night again and her mom said the same thing. Monday comes by and I call in morning before she leaves for work and her mom says to call later. Then I decide to go to her house at 1 when she gets back from work and i get there just a minute or two before she does, but she sees my car parked out in front of her house and she speeds away. It pissed me off a bit so i left. About 2 miles down the road I turned back thinking maybe she would be cooled down but I was wrong, as soon as I pulled up into her driveway she was getting out of her car, she looked back and saw me and RAN into her house crying something (dont remember what) and her mom came running out telling me to quit stalking her daughter and that the cops had been called.

Ok well, after that I went to my cousins restaurant/bar and hanged out all night pretty much. She came in at around 8 or 9 and started talking silly stuff to the lady i was talking with, telling her i was immature etc... (btw shes 26 and im 21) From then on shes been coming to restaurant almost everyday and now shes even calmed down alot. I have not been able to talk with her because she ignores me when I'm going to talk about our relationship but she will say HI and ask how I'm doing etc..
Also, she congratulated me on my new job (she got it for me where her bro works). I said thanks and she said You're welcome, after that she came up to me and told me that those were really nice words that I spoke and i smiled back at her and said, thanks. That was Tuesday and on Wednesday I bought her a drink, she accepted it and said thanks out loud from across the bar so i responded with a "you're welcome." but after that she still wont talk with me.
Anyone know what I can do? any suggestions?
I don't want to JUST BE FRIENDS I want her to be mine again, please help!

 

[YATTA]

Was she a friend of the girl you yelled at? And what specifically did you say to the bartender that got your G/F so upset? Honestly if I were you, I'd just ignore her completely, she seems a little unbalanced to be so upset about nothing even regarding her.

 

[Albert Gamboa]

Nah they didn't know each other or anything.
She was upset cause she used to be a bartender herself so she doesnt like bartenders being treated that way.

 

[YATTA]

My best guess then is that she put herself in that bartender's shoes when you yelled at her and probably thought that's what you thought of her or something.

 

[Albert Gamboa]

Nah I absolutely hate using jealousy as a tool.
Except as a last resort hehe.
Yeah she pretty much put herself in the bartenders shoes, and its been two weeks, i hate waiting ugh.
More time needed?

 

[Albert Gamboa]

oh yeah shes giving me attention alright, I can catch her looking at me every few minutes. Sometimes with a smile and sometimes with a frown. Turns her head back away from me every time.
Also, let me point out that she'd only been to this bar twice before we started dating (she met me there and knows im always there) and NOW shes there almost everyday.

 

[Knicknack]

you are a fvckin wuss. quit whining about this sordid b|tch and go find another girl. on the next girl try not acting like a fvckin wuss. don't let them run your life. you apologized way too much and gave her your balls.

 

[Albert Gamboa]

wtf?
thanks for the help @$$ i see from your reaction that you cant hold a relationship for more than a few hours then lol

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Yea ..not cool...... too many things there...... give her space dude.. A LOT of space... no one likes a hot head.... conduct yourself better.. think smooth, calm, relax... right now though.. you're tensed, clingy, and you are coming off as a true A$$hole, as well as a spaz...... but I think you are ultimately concerned for her, and you truly like her... that is why I will give you some advise.... because everyone makes mistakes...

Don't stalk her... don't EVER call her in the mornings right before she goes to work.. wtf man?!?! LOL! ...lay off the phone calls... not sure how forgiving she is but... you may have to accept the fact that she's gone... *shrugs* ....if so, learn from this... do not repeat that BS... showing that type of uncoolness, will get you a ride to Breakupville, population:You. .....do not try to contact her, don't assume she is watching you... get off her nuts... give her space... pull yourself together (which it sounds like you are doing, congrats) ...but let her come to you, no more pressure.. no more blow ups... what's cooler than cool? ....ICE COLD.....

Yea.. a lot of damage here... you got a lot of damage control to do.... best thing is to stay calm, and stay away.. from her.. from her hosue, her Mom.. they called the cops on you dude.. not cool... give it time.. if time and space is enough to get her trust and comfort back in you.. then cool.. but duuude.. doesn't look good.

 

[Albert Gamboa]

Yeah i quit calling her long time ago, when her mom told me to quit calling lol
i did **** up continuously and it sucks but I learned from those mistakes alright
I really like her alot and we had big plans.

I know she still has some interest in me so i'll just have to be ICE COLD for a while then i guess and just be friendly and back off (say hi how are you etc) then back off but not ignore her completely but not keep looking at her all the time (which I avoid already anyways)

I just hope this works :-(

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Originally posted by Albert Gamboa
Yeah i quit calling her long time ago, when her mom told me to quit calling lol
i did **** up continuously and it sucks but I learned from those mistakes alright
I really like her alot and we had big plans.

I know she still has some interest in me so i'll just have to be ICE COLD for a while then i guess and just be friendly and back off (say hi how are you etc) then back off but not ignore her completely but not keep looking at her all the time (which I avoid already anyways)

I just hope this works :-(

It will dude... just don't lose it... for real man... this will test you.... you may not want to hear this but.. probably best for the both of you's to just find other ppl. *shrugs*......and like the others have said.. move on.. she ain't that first, and she ain' the last bro... ya learned from this... best thing to do now, is be friends... who knows, maybe she'll give you another chance... but remember this bro.. if you screw up like that again... it's probably best to let it go once and for all.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Gambino, why are you being so nice to her? You scared her with your violent outburst to another person and she fears you'll do the same to her in the future!! But it isn't like you slapped her or cursed at her. I think the punishment doesn't fit the crime and that she was looking for a way out of the relationship and you gave her one!! You gave her an excuse to end it!

Do not call or chase her!!!! Actually avoid her! Quit buying her drinks and quit trying to gain her favor - you did nothing wrong!!!!!!!!!!

I don't remember you telling us when she broke up with you - she one day avoided you like you were a criminal and called the police - WTF!!!!!!!!

You are not telling us something!

Did you have outbursts in the past that you are not telling us about"

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Gambino, why are you being so nice to her? You scared her with your violent outburst to another person and she fears you'll do the same to her in the future!! But it isn't like you slapped her or cursed at her. I think the punishment doesn't fit the crime and that she was looking for a way out of the relationship and you gave her one!! You gave her an excuse to end it!

Do not call or chase her!!!! Actually avoid her! Quit buying her drinks and quit trying to gain her favor - you did nothing wrong!!!!!!!!!!

I don't remember you telling us when she broke up with you - she one day avoided you like you were a criminal and called the police - WTF!!!!!!!!

You are not telling us something!

Did you have outbursts in the past that you are not telling us about"

Bro, he did ring her up like a madman... top it off with the fact that some woman get bent real easy over drama, and this is what you have... throw in some unwanted visits, and it's a case of the 'stalks'.... they both are a bit wacky cuz she sounds like she needs meds asap... yea man, probably best to move on... but if you want to try to re-establish the relationship.. time... space.... no calls.. no drinks.. hellos are ok... but if she contacts you, take her to a dance club, or a comedy show... make her laugh, and wen she has forgotten about the dramas of the past, stick your tongue down her throat, and put it in her butt.


good luck bro...

 

[Albert Gamboa]

no, no outbursts in the past.
And i seriously doubt she was looking for way out, she was TOO into me, always telling me how I drive her wild etc and telling other people about it, plus introducing me as her b/f etc...

Oh, and she didnt call the cops, her Brother (who i work with now) said it was the neighbors and also her mom told me the same thing. On a side note, her brothers all for me hooking up with her again and telling me how she crys about it all the time ??

 

[Albert Gamboa]

nuts
just ran into her in a bar :-/
said hello to a lady I know and then went and said hi to her when i noticed her, just said "Hey how you doing" she said good and i said i was good too and i went on to drink my beer and before I left I said "cya around, take care", she responded with a "you too, bye" and a smile again

:-/
ugh

this is driving me nuts

 

[Albert Gamboa]

oh yeah
about how much more time do you guys think I should give this before getting into a real conversation with her?
Anyone think they could gimme an estimate? hehe
It's been 2 weeks since she dumped me and about 1 week since she's been acting nice again (saying hi telling me goodbye etc..)
I know im thinking about this WAY too much but damned, she was a keeper and not only that, she was the one who picked me up to start the relationship the first time we met!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Your neighbors called the police for a reason - hey? They saw you and then they called 911 - huh??

Jake - no one ever told him to stop calling??? He is calling his girl - what so harassing about that???

Quit initiating convo and eye contact with her - let her initiate contact everytime and only respond with blunt statements and do not ask questions in return. This will drive her mad and put you in control!!

 

[Albert Gamboa]

"Quit initiating convo and eye contact with her - let her initiate contact everytime and only respond with blunt statements and do not ask questions in return. This will drive her mad and put you in control!!"

hmm, finally something that sounds really good
thanks i'll make sure i try that

 

[InsidiousNstinct]

Ok, that was a pretty weird story. I agree with the gentlemen that said she was probably looking for a way out of the relationship. I would not of stood for her going off on me like that either. That would've been the straw that broke the camels back Im sure you had a reason to go off like you did and you shouldn't feel bad about it.

She knows she has you wrapped around her finger, women can smell suckers from a mile away. So unstead of trying to ignore her and using that to get her to come crawling back. ACTUALLY IGNORE HER. Go to other bars unstead of the one she goes to. Keep yourself occupied. Now im not saying you shouldn't go back to the bar that shes going to, because you took her there for the first time. When you do go there don't let her into your reality, take some of your buds there if you have to so that you can have a good time.

I guess what im trying to say is just FORGET about HER. If she comes crawling back then thats cool but don't let her right back into your life. Make her work twiced as hard for your affection. AND MAKE SURE YOU WEAR THE PANTS IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

Just my 2 cents, take it for what its worth....

 

[Slashco]

As someone who has worked in the service industry in the past, I have a real problem with customers who come strutting in like the king of the f'ing Universe, abusing the waitstaff and generally making everyone's life miserable. You have no idea of the crap we have to put up with. And threatening to get someone fired? NOT cool. Working a sh!tty job is bad enough without people like you making it worse. Although I don't know exactly what happened in this case, I got a negative vibe from it.

As for your problem: Stop trying to contact this girl. Don't call her, don't try to initiate conversations or be around her, just leave her be. If she still likes you, she'll come back. If she doesn't, let her go, and find someone else.