Hell hath no fury like a BPD scorned.

[TonyBaloney]

Here I am, just turned 40, baby on the way with an amazing woman who cooks cleans and lets me do what I want when I want...... Life is all very good.

I went complete GHOST on a BPD after years of tooing and froing, she finally fatally stabbed me in the back by running away after I left another woman for her....I haven't spoken to her from that day to this.

It has driven me nuts at the savage way, after her declaration of love and wanting to be with me, she just walks away at the point of me giving someone up to be with her...the betrayal after years of me putting up with her s hit has been hard to stomach....

The new woman has restored my faith and gives me the love I craved. I am happy that we are together and that she is pregnant - In fact, I was so elated when I found out that I text the ex BPD who sent a random good luck message back....It was pitiful really but still I thought I'd got my own back.

The thing is, I still feel totally betrayed by the biyatch....it still angers me that I was turned down so coldly.. . mainly because I wasn't from a good enough background was the reason behind it, added to her spiteful, cunning, evil web of lies.

The point now is that some black/arab dude is banging her which I'm sure the rich daddy is not happy about. I am glad to be out of all the misery that surrounded her, but it still irritates me that I did everything in my power, but was still not good enough, only to be replaced by this new guy...god help him

Any thoughts on how to eradicate this thorn in my side would help gents.

 

[goundra]

u r seriously fvcked up in the head if she is still even in your memory, much less on your radar. move on, man. you've got a good life, go live it.

 

[zekko]

It has driven me nuts at the savage way, after her declaration of love and wanting to be with me, she just walks away at the point of me giving someone up to be with her...the betrayal after years of me putting up with her s hit has been hard to stomach...

Why would you give someone up to be with her after you've been "putting up with her sh!t for years"? I'm sure you know you haven't been thinking straight when it comes to this girl. Women need to earn that sort of position.

 

[Mike32ct]

You walked away the WINNER here, not the loser.

You're still letting some snobby b@tch convince you that you're not good enough?

Please don't waste one more brain cell thinking about this.

 

[TonyBaloney]

Guys,

Yes this is all well and good I'm ****ed up.

The trouble is, this biyatch and her mother who is a Dr of Psychology used all kinds of tactics to ensnare me and to be honest, I feel like I was was almost hypnostised into the hell.....

I know that something isn't right with my way of thinking on this.

Anybody who would like to talk about the case on a professional clinical level to give me some pointers on how to recover from this is more than welcome to reply.

Let this be a lesson to anyone who enters into the madness....if your a kind soul like me you'll be taken to the edge...... Thank god that my new woman has given me my confidence back and I know things will change with the arrival of my kid.... All I want to do is walk around my home streets without this kinda angry feeling every time I see her car...........

 

[plate's_empty]

If you are content and happy in your new life you should not care about her. What she did to you was evil. Yes, she fvcked you over. Agreed. What's the best way to move on? It seems like you're doing it.

Yes, it's easier said than done to just stop caring about what happened with this narcissistic evil woman. You may have ever lasting scars from what she did to you. Deal with them as you can, and move on. Know this, no matter how she seems on the outside, or how great she says her life is, she will never truely be happy. And, one day, when her looks disappear and/or her manipulative ways stop working, she will be alone. She will be alone with the only person to make miserable, herself.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Anybody who would like to talk about the case on a professional clinical level to give me some pointers on how to recover from this is more than welcome to reply.

Once you truly understand what BPD/HPD is.... it will help bring closure to the situation. I've read bits & pieces of your story, although I don't know all the details, but the one thing I can see with you is you are taking everything she has done & said PERSONALLY.

That's a big no-no when dealing with BPD. --- I know, much MUCH easier said than done.

Realize that any reasons she gave you for not being good enough etc, were all just fluff talk for her having the feeling that you were getting to close to her and needing to abandon you first.

Looking at it from a pure clinical perspective, for me at least helps me not be angry at BPD's. Now I'm not saying its a hall pass for them and they can do and say as they please and simply blame their "disorder." But its similar to getting in a cage with a wild lion who is behaving at the moment, then being surprised and shocked when it suddenly lunges at you at tries to rip you to pieces..... in other words you can't blame them for being who they are.

The problem for many posters here and others who were/are involved with a BPD is they DIDN'T KNOW until it was too late. In my opinion, THAT is where all the mixed feelings, hurt, confusion and anger come from.

Let this be a lesson to anyone who enters into the madness....if your a kind soul like me you'll be taken to the edge

In affairs of the opposite sex, being a kind soul will get you taken advantage of more times than not, whether the girl is BPD or not. Use this lesson to fix and build your inner game so your calibration doesn't allow you to ignore and fall for red flags that all women, ESP BPD chicks give off like a 4th of July fireworks parade from the beginning.

All I want to do is walk around my home streets without this kinda angry feeling every time I see her car.

Process your anger, then let it go. Again you wouldn't be mad or shocked if a wild lion tried to bite you right? That's HOW they are programmed and WHAT they are.

Such is people afflicted with BPD. And while some might be aware of their dysfunction to a degree or fully, the disorder doesn't allow them to seek change more times than not.

The few who are much more self aware and cognizant of their behavior will go to therapy and put in the work to overcome and heal.

Most won't.... because lets be honest, they don't have to.

There's always sold out concert line of men waiting to take their turn on the fun ride.

Stay well bro.









PIMP

 

[expos]

Please see my thread...http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=204506

My ex-wife was most likely BPD or Bi-Polar, but definitely cluster B.

Like another poster said, don't ever take what this woman says to heart.

Some facts for you:

1. These BPD's will say anything and do anything to bring you down and hurt you. They will make sh!t up, lie, and overreact to the dumbest things to get a rise out of you. They are so empty inside, deal with so much internal grief, that they will lash out to bring you down to their empty level.

2. This girl most likely has stages of intense sobbing and crying on her own....never think for a second that she is out living this amazing life. If she appears to be, it's only temporary. Soon, her world will come crashing down and she'll go into a horrible tailspin. She can be dating a model, a millionaire, have everything, and still feel like her life is crap.

3. Never, ever give this woman the upper hand. BPD's thrive on control and being vindictive. You should never give a healthy woman control to begin with, but especially a BPD. I let my ex-wife get the upper hand all the time because I just wanted her to be happy in her life. WRONG. Look where it got me. DIVORCED. Even though we didn't have children (I was brilliant avoiding that because I knew she was out of control a year into our marriage) and I pay no alimony, I still deal with a ton of internal grief because I loved her so much and she just beat me to the floor week after week. It shattered my soul.

You are on your way to living well. Hug your partner extra tight tonight and be glad you dodged the bullet that is your ex-BPD. Some weren't so lucky...

 

[switch]

tony , are you the guy whose girl was a rich spoiled brat and went to egypt for holidays only to bang some goat-shepherd?
i think i remember such a thread

anyway i think its your ego dude, its bruised and you wanna get back at the cvnt to heal your ego. its the same reason why every effing idiot on FB is still "friends" with their ex.they wanna get back at /to her.

the best method to de-value anyone and i mean anyone, even snow-white
is this:
everyday say "*name* is a ***** " ---OR---" i dont give a sh!t about *name*." say this line for like 20 times,when taking a sh!t or in the gym.

its the same bloody tactic used by commercials and advertisements

 

[Poonani Maker]

I don't think the Brad Pitt test applies to any guy who isn't rich, famous, and good looking.

As an experiment, on an online dating site I once posted pics of my cousin in Sweden who is 6"2, well built, and has model good looks. When I sent out messages to women, and even when women sent messages to me first, I found that when dates were arranged women often still flaked out on dates or otherwise acted as if they were the prize to be won. I found that girls who were 5's or 6's thought they were too good for my cousin, who routinely bangs 9 out of 10's, looks like a male Swedish model, is very well built, has a master's degree in engineering physics, and is one of the funniest, ****iest guys I know. And yet very average looking women still broke plans, demanded dinner on a first date, or otherwise acted as if they were too good for him.

Women in general put their own pvssies on a pedestal. It really is unbelievable how out of touch with reality their perception of the world really is.

A guy can be tall, good looking, dressed up in a suit and with a great professional career and confidently go up to a ratty looking chic who's an unemployed artsie wearing frumpy clothing like tattered track pants and still she'll look at the guy like he's a piece of sh*t and she's too good for him. The level of entitlement women have reached is simply unbelievable. You can look like brad pitt, have a master's degree in engineering science, pull in six figures, and volunteer at the local shelter for disadvantaged youth and still all this won't be good enough for a girl who will dismiss such a great catch by saying something like "oh he doesnt have dark hair." The attitude of most women these days is simply shocking. There's no other way for me to say it. We live in an age where, more than ever, women believe they are princesses and too good for almost any guy and that we should be lucky just to have their golden vagina in our presence.

That being said, Tony it's been more than a year and a half. Clearly this crazy woman was not good for you. BPD will use anything it can to make you feel down about yourself, and in your case it was the fact that this woman happened to be born into a family which belonged to a higher "class" than yours. While I'm aware such silly class distinctions are still alive and well in england, such ideas still exist somewhat in North America as well, since most women consider themselves beautiful lovely princesses who have to be won over by men who are never worthy no matter what kind of impressive accomplishments they have achieved in life.

It's time you moved on. You're done with this one. Allow BPD to wallow in the misery that is undoubtedly her life. You now have a child coming into this world, and a lot of guys would kill to have a little baby to teach and play around with. This will take up a lot of your time, and I guarantee you the most rewarding moments of your life are just on the horizon. Enjoy your new life, and bask in the happiness that is raising a small child of your own.*

*ps i hope it's a boy lol

Yes, we do live in an age...and I don't think I'll live to see it dissipate or evaporate. It WILL happen, but I'm afraid, not in my young-to-mid adult lifetime. It's a Terrible time for us guys to be living here in America. Back in the old days, we could use corporal punishment on our SO's we could "correct" their bad behavior physically, or even another dude's bad behavior - bar fights were pretty routine and broke out all the time. People were allowed to drive drunk. They kept lowering the alcohol level tests to where one strong beer will get you arrested nowadays (we are sooooo controlled and clamped down upon), yet (because of the big business of major cellphone companies) with texting while driving and cellphone usage while driving causes 4 times the number of fatal crashes each year, it's not ENforced as with the strictness of having a little fun down at a bar is enforced. They've taken the wildness, the testosterone and FUN outta our lives, so that we can be good little cattle to direct and move how they wanna direct and move us...to the slaughter.

In other countries, women know their place, and they don't get outta line or they receive the hand backwards or forwards, it gets corrected, this whim of a being, this egg-carrier, that yokes and yodels all day long, day in and day out about nothing, really. Sure, there are some fantastic park rangers who are women, veterinarians who are women (if u accidentally kill the animal who cares??...), florists, receptionists, botanists, women who are Dedicated to their "craft," but in REAL serious endeavors with grave decisions, it still takes a Man. The woman is allowed to run rampant and willy-nilly today, this cannot be sustainable over the long-term, but during my non-senior citizen years, it may be All I'll be facing with women: you can't tell them they're Wrong! today about Anything cause too many other guys will tell them they're Right! and Pay them allthewhile just to get in their pants...and that's a fact.

 

[TonyBaloney]

Guys,

I really cant thank you enough.

Many of you have replied with some very well thought out replies and I am very very grateful for your sharing of your innate wisdom.

The long and short of what many of you have said is, its not your fault and that i'm responding as expected as someone who has suffered from one of these beasts.

I do feel that after several days and several responses, a calming effect; this of course had been building up and is not something I could talk to friends/family o my partner about as I'm sure that I would have been called nuts......

Thanks again gents for making the forum what it is.

Long live So Suave!

 

[PeakIV]

Tony it's been a year and a half for me too, and I went Ghost and am staying that way. I don't want to know what the ex cluster B is up to nor do I care, I have my life now as do you.
Don't get me wrong it does cross my mind now and again, but i consider her dead to me now and I know I will never see or hear from her again because I am making sure she can't contact me or knows where I am. I don't do ****ter or Facecrack.

Looks like you have moved on with someone else, I am still on my own and like it that way. Don't know if and when I will let anyone into my life anytime too soon. Can't be arsed to be honest, just enjoying me time and doing what I want when I want.

Enjoy the little bundle of fun when it arrives and enjoy it while you can and thank your lucky stars you didn't have that bundle of joy with you know who!

 

[betheman]

Baloney, understand that you will never forget your experience, it was painful and will be!
what about you now? have you learned? have you grown?

the new 'happiness' you have, is that real or a substitute? whats to stop this one doing the same?

BPD? who knows, the term gets chucked around like confetti, the fact is you invested heavily and basically got shafted, most of us have been there. its a cold, dark, empty place, the dreams, hopes and beliefs you had were shatterered...thye will never come back, nor should they, because what you, we hoped for...doesnt really exist, it was a fantasy, an illusion we built in our minds, strived for, aspired to, it was sold to us and we drank it in!
my money is on you being a better wiser man now. let the anger for the ex go, its doing you no good, the very fact you come here and vent indicates she has a hold on you, let it go, you thought it was perfect, it wasnt, life isnt, your life is in front of you, not behind, look to the good things in your life, stop looking back to the bad