Heartfelt messages turn on or turn off?

[Jack Hensy]

I have been corresponding with this attractive older woman for a few months and had a date and a lot of emails with her. Things seem to be going well.
I sent her a fantasy filled heart-felt message. Such as bottle of wine, flirting, kissing, touching, etc to turn her on. I am trying to gauge her interest level.
It was nothing mushy just a sensual filled letter.

She did reply to the heart-felt sensual message by sending me this.....


"Well, I'm having good thoughts actually - very flattered! I really enjoy reading your heartfelt, honest messages...it really makes me happy to read what you have to say
I would write more, but I'm exhausted - I had to fly to Colorado unexpectedly yesterday, as my dad had to have emergency bypass surgery today...
But your message really made me smile...."


Low interest or high interest? I vote for "low interest."
Your observations?

 

[LiveYourDream]

I have been corresponding with this attractive older woman for a few months and had a date and a lot of emails with her. Things seem to be going well.
I sent her a fantasy filled heart-felt message. Such as bottle of wine, flirting, kissing, touching, etc to turn her on. I am trying to gauge her interest level.
It was nothing mushy just a sensual filled letter.

She did reply to the heart-felt sensual message by sending me this.....

"Well, I'm having good thoughts actually - very flattered! I really enjoy reading your heartfelt, honest messages...it really makes me happy to read what you have to say
I would write more, but I'm exhausted - I had to fly to Colorado unexpectedly yesterday, as my dad had to have emergency bypass surgery today...
But your message really made me smile...."

Lack of interest or high interest? I vote for "lack of interest."
Your observations?

You've been writing back and forth for a few months and had one date? You say "things seem to be going well." You send her a "fantasy filled heart-felt message". You are wondering about her interest level. smh

You sound like pen pals. I am confused. What is your goal with this woman? Why only one date in three months? How long ago was it? What do you believe is so special about this one woman that you are hanging on to her?

Bottom line, you need to get more options now. If you had 3 other women looking for your attention right now, you certainly wouldn't be here asking if this one is interested.

 

[Jack Hensy]

I messed up with her a few months ago by being too eager to date her.
We did not talk for a month after first date since I acted too aggressively with her.
That turned her off. So I pulled back and began dating others.
I started slowly sending her a message a month later and she would message me as well. Next thing I know, we are sending long heart felt messages back and forth.
I agree its turned into pen pals and I am trying to cut it off. I have been dating other girls and spinning plates and it helps keep her off my mind.

Sometimes you meet a someone and she knocks your socks off. I have known a Don Juan to fall sometimes. It happens.

 

[LiveYourDream]

You are right no one is immune. Everyone is doing their best.
I get that she's stuck in your mind. I know that can be so hard. Help us understand what is your goal/fantasy with her? ONS, FB, Plate, GF, STR, LTR, Wife?
Are you really into her or does your ego want to change the ending?

To answer your original question. She definitely does not have high interest. It's minimal at best. sorry, just calling it as I see it. I'd say she likes your attention and how it makes her feel, but she has no real attraction to you or interest in moving things forward.

I think it's helpful to remember that whether it be sex or a relationship, it's a whole different world when both people are 100% in. Don't you want to be with a woman that is hot for you that you are into? I say focus on being with women that are equally, if not even more into you, than you are into them. I think making that shift will help your mind begin to move away from her and to a woman (or women) who does have high IL and is openly expressive with it.

 

[El Payaso]

This goes against everything in the DJ bible. She should be the one sending you "heart felt" messages at this stage. You're already over investing yourself emotionally even to the point where she's on your mind that you have to make a post about her.

Rein yourself back in and spin plates.

 

[Jack Hensy]

High interest is usually from the ugly girls. Its hard to get hot girls to have high interest in me. I usually go for the hot women that other men find hot.(obviously) What man wants to date an ugly girl? The key is to find an available pool of hot women with less males hanging around. She probably has 100 guys texting her.
So finding high interest in both parties is extremely rare.

She sends me a message every day. I send her a message once every three days.

 

[Atom Smasher]

She's a pseudo-girlfriend, you're a pseudo boyfriend. Both of you are using writing to scratch where you itch, partially fulfilling your desire for a flesh & blood romance.

Take it from the former king of this. I have above-average writing skills with women and am able to develop a strong emotional bond. The problem is that they fill in the blanks with fantasy in order to "flesh you out" and make you seem real, but the character you both create is never the real you. Therefore, if and when you get together there exists a disturbing incongruence in her mind.

I understand that you saw her once but I think this still applies. I strongly urge you to forget about this one and move on.

 

[Julian]

all this is meaningless if you havent banged the fuk out of her

 

[Jack Hensy]

You just pointed that out Captain Obvious. That is the reason of messaging her back and forth ---- to get her out and bang the sh*t out of her. Keeping the communication open.


Some girls= will go out with me when I ask them directly.
Other girls= like to message back and forth for a while before they go out.
Every girl is different.

This girl is taking too long so I am moving on. Besides I already banged a girl on Saturday night. So her loss.

 

[Yewki]

Yeah this whole situation sounds lame as hell, but the OP does have a point. We don't know the full context. Some women are super sheltered virgins who are cut off from men, and Disney sh*t like this is actually what it takes for them to leave their shell and open their legs.

 

[custardpie]

You realise this is sosuave.net right? Not www.disneyfantasies.com.

You are doing everything wrong. This girl was driven away by the very behaviour you are now exhibiting, how exactly is that going to win her back?

 

[Jack Hensy]

Some women are not "cut and dry."
I have nailed various types of women and using Disney like fantasies and others using Don Juan Methods. There is no "one size fits all" in dating.
Not every scripted don juan method is going to work for every girl.

I met a woman a year ago that likes to dominate me. She takes me to dinner, buys me drinks and then tells me how she is going to fvck me that night. I have the best indoor Olympics with her and I still see her on the side sometimes.
I don't do any gaming with her -- in fact I acted needy and sent her Disneyland fantasy emails telling her she is beautiful, want her, and wants to please her, etc. And she loves it! She responds with high interest every time. She needs to control and dominate the situation.
She calls me up when she is horny and that's the way she likes it. If I called her and tried to use Don Juan methods on her she would reject me. She don't respond to it namely because she is a hard-driven, career oriented, Type A personality type.
Another chick is the complete opposite and only responds to me when I am a challenge. I play hard to get, never return her calls within 24 hours, and loves the mystery. I banged her a few times simply because I am aloof and controlling with her. She would not respond to Disney-like fantasies.
This 3rd and current girl is a completely different mind-set altogether. I noticed its easier to reel her in with "Disney fantasy" emails, but once she notices I start acting Don Juan-ish -- she backs off. If I don't call her for a week--she won't call either. If she sees me with another girl she ignores me. But when I respond with a sensuality...or I am alone she is all over it and sends me long emails me every day. When I pull back...she pulls back too.
I'm spending too much time investing in her without results. I am moving on.

 

[Trump]

I met a woman a year ago that likes to dominate me. She takes me to dinner, buys me drinks and then tells me how she is going to fvck me that night. I have the best indoor Olympics with her and I still see her on the side sometimes.
I don't do any gaming with her -- in fact I acted needy and sent her Disneyland fantasy emails telling her she is beautiful, want her, and wants to please her, etc. And she loves it! She responds with high interest every time. She needs to control and dominate the situation.
She calls me up when she is horny and that's the way she likes it. If I called her and tried to use Don Juan methods on her she would reject me. She don't respond to it namely because she is a hard-driven, career oriented, Type A personality type.
Another chick is the complete opposite and only responds to me when I am a challenge. I play hard to get, never return her calls within 24 hours, and loves the mystery. I banged her a few times simply because I am aloof and controlling with her. She would not respond to Disney-like fantasies.
This 3rd and current girl is a completely different mind-set altogether. I noticed its easier to reel her in with "Disney fantasy" emails, but once she notices I start acting Don Juan-ish -- she backs off. If I don't call her for a week--she won't call either. If she sees me with another girl she ignores me. But when I respond with a sensuality...or I am alone she is all over it and sends me long emails me every day. When I pull back...she pulls back too.
I'm spending too much time investing in her without results. I am moving on.

Plenty of other options.

Bro by the sounds of it you have no issue having sex with hot girls at your whim. Why is one older women who you haven't slept with confusing you so much by sending you some emails?

 

[Jack Hensy]

She is appealing. I became controlling of her in the beginning and asked her to dress up in a garter belt and black stockings on the first date.
When she showed up -- she exceeded my expectations.
But I became arrogant, aggressive, and believed I could do anything I wanted with her.
No so.

I ended up digging her personality as much as her appearance.

 

[Atom Smasher]

"Heartfelt" messages will come back to bite you every time.

Heartfelt messages equalize you emotionally with women. They cease to see you as a rock, as a protector, and instead shift to loving the attention they're receiving. Once that runs its course there is only one place for them to go - revulsion. 100% of the time.

Writing heartfelt messages is for women. Men throttle their affection carefully and with purpose. Once the emotional levee breaks, cryin' won't help you and prayin' won't do you no good...

I advise every man to stop adjusting to each female type. Instead, be the best YOU that you can be and take your pick from the subset of women who are naturally attracted to you. "Emotional" with this one, "tough" with that one, "indifferent" with the other one will only serve to fracture your personality and prevent you from becoming an authentic man worthy of a quality women.

 

[Jack Hensy]

atom smasher good point and well written. Unfortunately, I love to write and its how I see the world. I have been writing poetry and heartfelt messages my entire life. Hard habit to break.
Plus, I have masculine qualities like working on cars and selling them. I like construction work too. I am a protector, provider, emotional advocate.

 

[Atom Smasher]

If this is really your core and you can leverage it, I say go for it. The question, of course, is whether or not women see you as masculine, a protector and provider. Naturally, one question to ask yourself is if the heartfelt writing actually serves to further your goals or if it works against you. In other words, does that aspect of your personality actually shorten your relationships or does it lengthen them? Do your relationships work because of that trait or in spite of that trait?

I have no way of knowing of course but I think these are worthy things to consider.

 

[Jack Hensy]

It definitely shortens them. It's so easy to romance women and have one night stands with them. (100's of them.) But to get relationships with women -- it's so difficult and very hard to hold onto them.
I can't stop writing, that's like asking me to stop breathing. Writing is the purpose of my existence.

I definitely have androgenous traits.
I need to tap more into my masculine side to keep a woman.

Feminine - writing, acting, romancing, charming, soft spoken, stylish, dandy, cute
Masculine - working on cars, dirty, fearless, held leadership positions, mountain climber, surfer, beer drinker, risk-taker, physical, aggressive, reckless, dangerous, impulsive, weightlifting, and wild.

 

[bigneil]

Heartfelt messages are wonderful! If you're a bald, old, fat man living in India emailing a hot, young, skinny bikini model living in California.

 

[salinechow]

High interest is usually from the ugly girls. Its hard to get hot girls to have high interest in me. I usually go for the hot women that other men find hot.(obviously) What man wants to date an ugly girl? The key is to find an available pool of hot women with less males hanging around. She probably has 100 guys texting her.
So finding high interest in both parties is extremely rare.

She sends me a message every day. I send her a message once every three days.

You think so shall you become. "Pook"

The biggest lesson you can learn here is QUALIFYING the prospect. You are selling cars. If you spend three months courting one sale, you would starve, and get fired, and, not even sell that one prospect, because they found a better deal with a salesperson that spent 45 min with them.

Over. Done. Cooked. 0 percent chance.

The only slim chance I could see here is if I saw the email exchanges. Even then, I sense, you OP, know the deal. Just got to accept it.

There are 10,000 woman you can be spending your time on, much less time at that, that would be glad to come to your house and share ACTUAL quality time with you. What are you doing man!