I'll try to give the condensed version of this here, so as not to get carried away with too many details, but I've got a funny little problem I'm dealing with here.
I met A back in 2006 and she was engaged to be married. She has Spanish, Italian, Brazilian, and Peruvian blood.....a real fu**ing firecracker. We seemed to instantly hit it off as friends, but I soon became attracted, and I developed what you guys call oneitis for this girl even while she was married. This went on for about two years and sparing most of the details I cut ties with her and went not contact and moved about three hours away. We never had sex, or crossed any kind of physical line, but I felt like there was this amazing potential sexual chemistry between us.
So after being out of contact with her for 3 years I spoke to her brother on Facebook this past April and found out that she had gotten a divorce. I now live almost 2000 miles away, but was planning a trip out her way to see other friends. I contacted her on her birthday and told her I would like to see her. So, sparing more details I will say that this summer has been the most amazing sexual journey with her that I have ever embarked on. However, there are major red flags.
When I say that this girl is into anything sexually I mean she is into anything. She has told me that I am the master of her pu**y and she will let me do anything or try anything with me. When we started having sex she told me that she was not ready for a relationship because her marriage ended badly, so we proceeded with her defining a friends with benefits situation. She actually told me that she hadn't had sex in a year and for the last two of the marriage. 3 Years!!! Who knows if it's true? I was cool with that and didn't put my emotions on the line. The only problem with this is that she actually started having sex with other people and telling me about it. I actually played it cool and would talk with her in a sexual manner about the other guys, and now in hindsight I think it actually drove her crazy.
I flew out to see her 3 times this summer, and in between those visits she has hooked up with 4 other people in the interim. She only had sex with 3 of them (so she said). But, the whole summer I seem to have remained her focus. She is constantly telling me about other guys that are hitting on her or are interested, but I got a hold of her phone this summer while she was asleep and found some of the things she told me about other guys texting her were complete lies and seemingly made up. Also, when I was with her she never got texts or any calls etc. from other guys like she made it seem when I was away (I see the increased value game here).
She has continued to tell me that I interrupted her being a born again slut. She feels like she doesn't want to like me as much as she does. She has an inner conflict about liking me so much, and when I've left after seeing her it f**ks with her head.
So, about a month ago I told this girl I loved her and the whole dynamic has changed. She calls and texts me constantly tells me she loves me. She was making all these plans for the future like trips and such, but she seems not to talk about it as much. She goes out of her way to tell me she is not interested in other guys and hasn't been out where I've known exactly where she is in about a month and a half. We have phone sex constantly, and she buys me gifts online that are sent to my house. The only issue is that there is a guy in the picture who she has told me is gay. However, he is one of the guys that she said she hooked up with. One night she said they had sex, but she soon realized that he was only doing it to please her and make her feel better (presumably about missing me). They work out at the gym together about 4 times a week and have casual lunches together. She tells me that she feels sad about him not being able to admit his own homosexuality, but she and her friend both know that he is. She believes he wants a girlfriend for show because he thinks it will complete the perfect picture of "normal" for him. All this sounds crazy for me, but for some reason doesn't get me really jealous assuming it is all true. She assures me that she has no further interest in being sexual with him, but he makes flirty remarks to her and inside she really laughs and just says to herself, "but you're gay."
Everything has been going great recently over the phone in terms of her not really mentioning other guys or even going out dancing and drinking like I said. So, she is flying out to visit me next week and we are going to a music festival together for my birthday. She will be staying a total of 12 days for what is expected to be an unbelievable sexcapade.
The only problem is last night she brought up having lunch with the gay guy yesterday and how sad it was that he wanted a relationship with a girl and how he would jump at the opportunity to have one with her. She said he didn't come right out and say it, but that she felt like she was being tested! Can you believe it? That's exactly what she was sitting there doing with me. Testing me. She then brought up the sex they had and I guess I went silent on the line. I told her I didn't want to hear about her and the guy having sex in the past. She said okay and continued to try and justify why it should be okay to talk about it. So, I thought everything was going somewhat well and then BAM! She starts trying to get a rise out of me. I remained calm, but I admit my emotions are already on the line with this girl. We ended the night with great phone sex on Face Time and went to sleep. She was also saying things like, "I really want you and miss you." and I would respond with, "It will only be another week." and she would say, "and then it's over.". I didn't exactly know what that meant if she wanted to end the relationship or she just meant that she would have to leave me again. I ignored it and changed the subject.
I realize this is all about reassurance to a completely needy and insecure amazingly attractive girl. Does anybody have any insight on how to move forward with this, thoughts, or similar experiences? I'm fully open to harsh criticism as well. I know I've done some things right, but have been an AFC along the way as well. I seem to be in too deep at this point.
I met A back in 2006 and she was engaged to be married. She has Spanish, Italian, Brazilian, and Peruvian blood.....a real fu**ing firecracker. We seemed to instantly hit it off as friends, but I soon became attracted, and I developed what you guys call oneitis for this girl even while she was married. This went on for about two years and sparing most of the details I cut ties with her and went not contact and moved about three hours away. We never had sex, or crossed any kind of physical line, but I felt like there was this amazing potential sexual chemistry between us.
So after being out of contact with her for 3 years I spoke to her brother on Facebook this past April and found out that she had gotten a divorce. I now live almost 2000 miles away, but was planning a trip out her way to see other friends. I contacted her on her birthday and told her I would like to see her. So, sparing more details I will say that this summer has been the most amazing sexual journey with her that I have ever embarked on. However, there are major red flags.
When I say that this girl is into anything sexually I mean she is into anything. She has told me that I am the master of her pu**y and she will let me do anything or try anything with me. When we started having sex she told me that she was not ready for a relationship because her marriage ended badly, so we proceeded with her defining a friends with benefits situation. She actually told me that she hadn't had sex in a year and for the last two of the marriage. 3 Years!!! Who knows if it's true? I was cool with that and didn't put my emotions on the line. The only problem with this is that she actually started having sex with other people and telling me about it. I actually played it cool and would talk with her in a sexual manner about the other guys, and now in hindsight I think it actually drove her crazy.
I flew out to see her 3 times this summer, and in between those visits she has hooked up with 4 other people in the interim. She only had sex with 3 of them (so she said). But, the whole summer I seem to have remained her focus. She is constantly telling me about other guys that are hitting on her or are interested, but I got a hold of her phone this summer while she was asleep and found some of the things she told me about other guys texting her were complete lies and seemingly made up. Also, when I was with her she never got texts or any calls etc. from other guys like she made it seem when I was away (I see the increased value game here).
She has continued to tell me that I interrupted her being a born again slut. She feels like she doesn't want to like me as much as she does. She has an inner conflict about liking me so much, and when I've left after seeing her it f**ks with her head.
So, about a month ago I told this girl I loved her and the whole dynamic has changed. She calls and texts me constantly tells me she loves me. She was making all these plans for the future like trips and such, but she seems not to talk about it as much. She goes out of her way to tell me she is not interested in other guys and hasn't been out where I've known exactly where she is in about a month and a half. We have phone sex constantly, and she buys me gifts online that are sent to my house. The only issue is that there is a guy in the picture who she has told me is gay. However, he is one of the guys that she said she hooked up with. One night she said they had sex, but she soon realized that he was only doing it to please her and make her feel better (presumably about missing me). They work out at the gym together about 4 times a week and have casual lunches together. She tells me that she feels sad about him not being able to admit his own homosexuality, but she and her friend both know that he is. She believes he wants a girlfriend for show because he thinks it will complete the perfect picture of "normal" for him. All this sounds crazy for me, but for some reason doesn't get me really jealous assuming it is all true. She assures me that she has no further interest in being sexual with him, but he makes flirty remarks to her and inside she really laughs and just says to herself, "but you're gay."
Everything has been going great recently over the phone in terms of her not really mentioning other guys or even going out dancing and drinking like I said. So, she is flying out to visit me next week and we are going to a music festival together for my birthday. She will be staying a total of 12 days for what is expected to be an unbelievable sexcapade.
The only problem is last night she brought up having lunch with the gay guy yesterday and how sad it was that he wanted a relationship with a girl and how he would jump at the opportunity to have one with her. She said he didn't come right out and say it, but that she felt like she was being tested! Can you believe it? That's exactly what she was sitting there doing with me. Testing me. She then brought up the sex they had and I guess I went silent on the line. I told her I didn't want to hear about her and the guy having sex in the past. She said okay and continued to try and justify why it should be okay to talk about it. So, I thought everything was going somewhat well and then BAM! She starts trying to get a rise out of me. I remained calm, but I admit my emotions are already on the line with this girl. We ended the night with great phone sex on Face Time and went to sleep. She was also saying things like, "I really want you and miss you." and I would respond with, "It will only be another week." and she would say, "and then it's over.". I didn't exactly know what that meant if she wanted to end the relationship or she just meant that she would have to leave me again. I ignored it and changed the subject.
I realize this is all about reassurance to a completely needy and insecure amazingly attractive girl. Does anybody have any insight on how to move forward with this, thoughts, or similar experiences? I'm fully open to harsh criticism as well. I know I've done some things right, but have been an AFC along the way as well. I seem to be in too deep at this point.
