he who hesitates, masterbates, or will masterbate

[Overcomer9]

thats where i am heading. i've been trying to force myself to interact with attractive women whenever i come across them and i always tell myself i will, but when the moment comes up i normally don't do anything.

every now and then i the train to college rather then drive in because its more convenient, plus there are women around. yesterday when i got on the school shuttle to go home this really nice looking thing sat to the opposite side of me on the next seat over. i looked at her and figured she had a boyfriend but i couldn't help but appreciate the goods since she was so up close. well, i noticed she kept ****ing with her hair the entire time, putting on lipstick and every now and then she'd turn around to look in my direction for a moment. i started to wonder if she was flirting because ive read about this stuff on here but then my mind talked me out of it by saying maybe she was probably trying to look out the window or something.

anyhoo, after the shuttle arrived at the station, i got out first and was waiting in the lobby for the train to come when the same girl, out of all the space in the lobby, walked over and stood next to me, a bit infront to the left, like a mere arm length or two away but with her back turned. once again, i thought 'hmmm, proximity' but since she had her back turned to me my mind talked me out of it again rather then saying anything. she then turned around, facing her right, and while she was not looking at me face to face because she was one or two steps infront of me, i know i was in her line of sight since i was right there. i then wondered if this was her way of 'putting herself out there' to get me to talk.

when i boarded the train i felt stupid and was so ****ing disapointed in myself. even if she really wasn't digging me i regretted it so much and wouldve preffered having found out rather then wonder. i dont know what it is but i always say i will talk to women , but when i come across one, my mind freezes, i became negative, doubt and shy away from saying anything and i hate. i don't consider myself a bad looking guy or even a bad person or anything, but i get nowhere with the opposite sex because of it.

 

[tony-montana]

haha who cares man. you don't HAVE to talk to every girl you see. why don't you just talk to girls that leave an opening for you. you know like.. if you're at a train station waiting for a train and it's just you two. i was in that situation. the girl asked me for the time and we started talking the whole train ride. doesn't happen very often but it's easier. just know this... everytime you initiate a conversation with a girl.. it's always gonna be 50/50. either they will like you and you'll get the number or they won't like you. it's all about risk man.

1. do you want to get lucky? you probably will.
2. do you want to get rejected? you probably will.

those two are the 50/50 questions and answers.

 

[Overcomer9]

i will have to remember it next time, but that kind of scenario where the woman comes up to me doesnt usaully happen. i can approach, but really only do it when i know the woman makes it clear she wants me to. i liked this one and WANTED to talk to her, which is why i was disapointed.

 

[tony-montana]

yeah, but the old saying goes, you can't always have what you want

stick to the part where you only do it when the girl shows interest before you initiate the conversation. that's how it works. she'll let you know.

 

[Clash113]

Maybe, maybe not. It could've gone either way, but at least you've learned a valuable lesson and that's to seize the opportunity.

 

[Voice]

I think you are thinking way too much. Even if she didn't show any signs of attraction, you can still talk to her. I heard one thing on this website and it goes like this "DJing works best when you don't think as much". Keep that in mind.

 

[slickaz]

thats actually true..
my experience when you want to approach is..

dont think about it..the more you analyze and think about, the better your fear gets of you...you see less of the positives and more of the "what if i get rejected" side..

if you didnt think as much, you'd be more of a man, than like an over analyzing woman, in which case you can just go up, say hi.

you couldve even said smtn like, hey what train goes to blah blah blah..
something to see if she reacts with a smile or a bad attitude.. then you'll know if its worth.

we're humans, we live on the same planet and we interact, there is no reason for someone to turn you down if you're asking them for some information like train route or times..or even asking what time it is..simple stuff..keep it simple\

when it comes to appraoching or interacting with women, i think alot of guys lose tense that women are also humans, they have similar inquisitive natures and questions like we do. they know what someone hitting on them is as opposed to someone just asking a question.

so the way you approach is cool if you're just starting..
id suggest you just go out and to a mall..and find a shop with an attractive woman working there, just as you go in, smile and say hi, strike a normal conversation like, its a busy day at the mall huh? not!! lol..theyre paid to talk to you..but you can use this for your advantage where you get to interact with hot women..
take the conversation where you want it go, they will follow..why? because they are women, they follow and they are paid for it..so they definetly will.
ask about things that matter like where the clothes are made? what are the best range of clothes that sell? how long has she been working there? you're not feeling some of the clothes so you need some expert female advice..so tag her along..you dont have to buy anything but just talk, if she says clothes made in china (as usual) talk about china..whatever you want to talk about, you lead it..and the more you do this, the more you're brain will start to function like it should..quick thinkin, innovative topics and losing the fear of talking to women.

once you do this about 10 times in ten different shops, youll feel more comfortable talking to girls freely...then you can take it to the field..

like this chic..you wouldnt have a problem going hey, what train goes out west to XXXX..
oh you dunno? mabad! i just figured you look like you travel by train alot...

you'll know from her reactions if she is interested in talking to you..
then continue using your brain to come up with quick links and topic hoping to something about you and her, commonality..dont give away everything about you but know everything about her..then when you find a commonality, pick up on it and ask for another time to get deeper into knowing her.

dont say stupid sh!t like "oh you like penguins? i think we should meet up tomoro to talk about penguins.."
more like
"i didnt take u for a penguin fan...ur kinda of an interesting mix of interests..we should meet up again, i wanna to find out more..

personal experience:
i was at a shoe store once..footlocker..trying on some Dunks.
Fine lil shawty next to me was trying out some reebok highs..
in passing i said that color dont match your skin..
she looked me like she didnt kno what to say..
i didnt kno what to say either coz i cudnt tell if she was mad or inquisitive.

i dint say much after i just tied my laces while the dude helping me was snickering.

then she asked me "why? what color do you think suits my skin?"
so i told her why i thought it doesnt,..yes i bullsh!ted a bit but hey!!..told her that "you're legs have a certain shape about them that makes the tan on ur skin glimmer a lil..you need something a lil more suited to that..darker shades maybe..?"

she was even more interested..but probably because i gave her a compliment...kinda.

that convo ended up in me saying i didnt take you for a kicks fan..
what else you into?
she was happy, probably coz she spent some money on some shoes too..but i rode that.
she started and i stopped her in her tracks..said "i wanna find out more..but i cant today..put ur number in my phone and keep thursday free..there may be a sneakerpimp show on thursday and i think we should go check it out."...she was happy to oblige..simple..

total convo time...about 6 minutes..

i have to agree when i first wanted to talk to her..i was like i could get burnt if she comes back with a smart as5 comment..but i knew if i think too long..id lose the positive perspective..so i just did..

good 5 months later i dropped her

 

[jdon23]

I have been in the SAME exact situation as you. You have to just realize that there is nothing to fear. Just like someone said in one of the above posts, you are acting like a woman by over analyzing every situation.

Fearing rejection/failure is fearing life itself.

What you have to accept, is that in order to grow as a person and human being, you constantly need to get out of your "comfort zone."

 

[jdon23]

thats actually true..
my experience when you want to approach is..

dont think about it..the more you analyze and think about, the better your fear gets of you...you see less of the positives and more of the "what if i get rejected" side..

if you didnt think as much, you'd be more of a man, than like an over analyzing woman, in which case you can just go up, say hi.

you couldve even said smtn like, hey what train goes to blah blah blah..
something to see if she reacts with a smile or a bad attitude.. then you'll know if its worth.

we're humans, we live on the same planet and we interact, there is no reason for someone to turn you down if you're asking them for some information like train route or times..or even asking what time it is..simple stuff..keep it simple\

when it comes to appraoching or interacting with women, i think alot of guys lose tense that women are also humans, they have similar inquisitive natures and questions like we do. they know what someone hitting on them is as opposed to someone just asking a question.

so the way you approach is cool if you're just starting..
id suggest you just go out and to a mall..and find a shop with an attractive woman working there, just as you go in, smile and say hi, strike a normal conversation like, its a busy day at the mall huh? not!! lol..theyre paid to talk to you..but you can use this for your advantage where you get to interact with hot women..
take the conversation where you want it go, they will follow..why? because they are women, they follow and they are paid for it..so they definetly will.
ask about things that matter like where the clothes are made? what are the best range of clothes that sell? how long has she been working there? you're not feeling some of the clothes so you need some expert female advice..so tag her along..you dont have to buy anything but just talk, if she says clothes made in china (as usual) talk about china..whatever you want to talk about, you lead it..and the more you do this, the more you're brain will start to function like it should..quick thinkin, innovative topics and losing the fear of talking to women.

once you do this about 10 times in ten different shops, youll feel more comfortable talking to girls freely...then you can take it to the field..

like this chic..you wouldnt have a problem going hey, what train goes out west to XXXX..
oh you dunno? mabad! i just figured you look like you travel by train alot...

you'll know from her reactions if she is interested in talking to you..
then continue using your brain to come up with quick links and topic hoping to something about you and her, commonality..dont give away everything about you but know everything about her..then when you find a commonality, pick up on it and ask for another time to get deeper into knowing her.

dont say stupid sh!t like "oh you like penguins? i think we should meet up tomoro to talk about penguins.."
more like
"i didnt take u for a penguin fan...ur kinda of an interesting mix of interests..we should meet up again, i wanna to find out more..

personal experience:
i was at a shoe store once..footlocker..trying on some Dunks.
Fine lil shawty next to me was trying out some reebok highs..
in passing i said that color dont match your skin..
she looked me like she didnt kno what to say..
i didnt kno what to say either coz i cudnt tell if she was mad or inquisitive.

i dint say much after i just tied my laces while the dude helping me was snickering.

then she asked me "why? what color do you think suits my skin?"
so i told her why i thought it doesnt,..yes i bullsh!ted a bit but hey!!..told her that "you're legs have a certain shape about them that makes the tan on ur skin glimmer a lil..you need something a lil more suited to that..darker shades maybe..?"

she was even more interested..but probably because i gave her a compliment...kinda.

that convo ended up in me saying i didnt take you for a kicks fan..
what else you into?
she was happy, probably coz she spent some money on some shoes too..but i rode that.
she started and i stopped her in her tracks..said "i wanna find out more..but i cant today..put ur number in my phone and keep thursday free..there may be a sneakerpimp show on thursday and i think we should go check it out."...she was happy to oblige..simple..

total convo time...about 6 minutes..

i have to agree when i first wanted to talk to her..i was like i could get burnt if she comes back with a smart as5 comment..but i knew if i think too long..id lose the positive perspective..so i just did..

good 5 months later i dropped her

+1 rep, good advice man.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

haha who cares man. you don't HAVE to talk to every girl you see. why don't you just talk to girls that leave an opening for you. you know like.. if you're at a train station waiting for a train and it's just you two. i was in that situation. the girl asked me for the time and we started talking the whole train ride. doesn't happen very often but it's easier. just know this... everytime you initiate a conversation with a girl.. it's always gonna be 50/50. either they will like you and you'll get the number or they won't like you. it's all about risk man.

1. do you want to get lucky? you probably will.
2. do you want to get rejected? you probably will.

those two are the 50/50 questions and answers.

Reminds me of the time I was walking through the train, looking for my friends. I noticed this hot one move her bag off the seat next to her. So I did a double take, took 2 steps backward, looked at her, and sat down.

We talked and it was great. I listened to like 1 song total on my zune because she was just so fun and we were laughing and blah blah blah

For some reason I never got her number and I don't remember her name...