HB9 acting Hot/Cold

[Fobous]

Hey Guys,

Background:
I’ve known this HB9 through family, and recently hung out with her for New Years. We went to a party and had a great time. Danced together - took a group picture together (her standing next to me) which she immediately posted on social media claiming that this year will be special. I opened up a few more sets at the party, made friends with the hosts of the events, as well as meeting another HB8 who danced with me which my girl didn’t like, but I could tell that it got her even more attracted to me.

So naturally after the party she invites me back for hookah at her place. From there we talked a bit, she revealed that her ex may not be completely out of the picture yet. (Off again on again relationship / the reason they broke it off was that the guy was not comfortable with age difference - 15 years older then her)

After that we cuddled on her couch and I got to kissing her neck and caressing her which she seemed to enjoy. By the time the movie finished it was 4am, I tried to go for a kiss close which she careful avoided. She likes to play hard to get so I wasn’t completely shocked. Before I left, I ****ed up by asking her when I would see her again, to which she said she would be free the day after in the afternoon.

Now here is the situation:

The next day around 3pm I texted her:

“Ok I texted you. What are your next two wishes”

No response. It’s been a day ...Was I being too ****y at this point? I feel like I ran an attraction opener even though I should be in the comfort phase now...

In the past she has usually been good with texting back..

Not sure where to go with this? How long should I wait before pinging? Would a follow up call later in the week make sense? Or a neutral/funny text? And how would I address her non-response- was just going to ignore it.

I felt a good connection between us, and would hate to have to Next this girl.

Really appreciate any advice from you don juans. I’m just a rookie in training.

I already set up a few dates with two other chicks for the week- but my target is still this girl.

 

[Fobous]

Awesome replies! Thanks fellas LOL!!


Ok so to anyone else in a similar situation. I think I nailed down what my problem was... but don juans please correct me if I’m wrong.

This post is definitely the wrong mentality to have when dealing with HB8-10s... I needed a mental adjustment. I’m the prize and I need remain a confident alpha male- same as I had displayed to her at the party (that I don’t need her and I can easily pick up other hot chicks at a moments notice). Reflecting back on that night when I went back to her place... I wasn’t congruent with my previous self... as much as I would like to say I was. Not a real excuse but I had drank ALOT, and it was 4 in the ****ing morning, and my brain stopped working. I tried to ask her for a kiss close which pretty much screwed the pooch.

Her reason for going cold on me is that she partly(hopefully not fully) lost attraction since I wasn’t the congruent alpha male I was when I was at the party.

I feel like at this point I need to go ghost for a few days, and maybe by the weekend ping her with a opener meant for flakes.

My question though still remains, is a text ping good as it shows little investment on my end, or should I call her and be more direct?

Or should I just go ghost completely? The only reason I don’t necessarily like this option is that I could show more confidence by contacting her and acting like everything is gravy.

I feel like I’m learning! I read through a bunch of similar posts and this is my rookie conclusion.

Let me know what y’all think, I know I’m new, but I’m dedicating myself to this art and will welcome all advice as harsh as they may be.

Oh and a little about me: I’ve been hitting the gym for 9 months 6days a week, girls tell me I’m good looking and I usually don’t have too much of a hard time pulling in HB8s. The reason I’m so ****tty now though, is that I just escaped from a 10 year relationship (gf wanted me to marry her but I fell for other girls while I was with her)


Cheers!

 

[Fobous]

Also just trying to learn from this experience for next time:

Should I have tried to F-close that night I cuddled? Been more dominant with her? I touched her but definitely didn’t push for sex. (Parents we’re at home). From reading a few other posts sounds like I should have pushed he sexuality more. (She ended up napping on my chest when we were cuddling)

 

[DreamAgain]

Needed to escalate more dude, you are right with your analysis.

If she rejected your kiss the first time, unless she specifically got up and walked away, or told you to F off, then you assume it is part of the game and you keep going.

I would wait 3-4 more days and call, not text.

 

[Fobous]

Thanks for the advice dream!

All my contact with this girl has been through text in the past. Would switching to a call be still ok? And what should the goal of this call be?

If it’s to set-up a date- She has notoriously flaked on date invites in the past.

The phone/text game is where I probably lack the most, I’ll try to read up on other posts- but advice is appreciated!

Thanks again for the reply.

 

[derby1]

youve replied to your own thread saying thanks for the advice fellas lol

whether this was humour or a little serious this attitude Repels women

youll text your way right out seeing this girl ever again, once i have met up with a girl kissed and sex with her you can rest assured I never rarely intiate any convo with her again, ive eliminated my competition

if she let you kiss her neck shell let you kiss her lips, you know figure this out?

 

[derby1]

i actually wouldnt have any time for a woman who doesnt let me kiss her on the lips but will allow me to escalate

this is an attention seeking ***** who is loving the chase

this is a little bit more extreme but i had spent a great night with this chick the sex was amazing,she didnt shut up about it

however on the 2nd date, as we were revved up for sex i was about to put my **** in and she crossed her legs to **** test me see how wound up i got

How dissapointing after we were getting on so well

I called her a taxi there and then and told her to leave, there was no whinging she had made me feel like i was about to rape her ive never felt so repulsed in my life killed any attraction i had for her there and then

texts me every week to apologise, ill give her the gift of missing me FOREVER

 

[Fobous]

Thanks for the advice derby!

You nailed it, she is 100% attention seeking. This ***** is on Snapchat all the time has 20k+ Instagram followers, etc.

your story is inspiring. What a boss. Sounds like you’re telling me to go ghost?

What do you think about a phone call on Saturday? About 5 days since I texted her.

Small detail with her, is that she is actually a family friend so I’m bound to see her again at some function. My reasoning for not wanting to go completely ghost, was to try to retain the attraction I had built... but I definitely see your point of texting myself out of it. And attraction may be out the window anyway?

If you think phone call later in the week is ok, Where would you take the convo?

I’ll go read up more on bitches who love to be chased and how to handle them, I’m sure there’s a plethora of posts on here about this exact type of *****s.

 

[derby1]

YOU DO NOTHING !!!!!!! NOTHING DON JUAN NOTHING!!!

when she messages... which she will!! you presume she wants to see you, you offer to meet for a cheap date where alcohol is involved if possible

if she flakes without a courteous let down text you go NC you dont give a ****, no smart ass replies

if she turns up FANTASTIC you escalate

if she gives you the anything but a yes answer you leave the convo after a few texts you have no time for low value birds like this

you are allowed to ask her on 2 occassions of texting to meet up! if after two times of asking you still not a YES never ask her again EVER, she knows youve asked her out,

if she continues to contact you after twice of asking you reply to her texts with one way replies of disinterest NEVER asking a question back not even FINE thanks HOW YOU? ....3 or 4 texts MAX

any text after 7pm gets replied to midday the next day this because you are a busy go with so much self respect you basically make women blow confetti out a kazoo

1 of 2 things will happen shell either **** off which proves she was the attention ***** we all thought OR she will bring up getting together knowing you aint here to mess around!!! with your actions women arent stupid

obviously if she continues poor behaviour go full time NC

 

[derby1]

forgot to add when you get this chick on the phone chew on a bag of crisps LOUD, let her know you for the IDGAF Don Juan master you are, shell be sucking your **** trying to prove herself in no time

your only gonna get her on the phone once she has initiated though cause remember your doing NOTHING

and only when shes said yes to a date you call her a few days later to verify cement PLANS

 

[Fobous]

This exactly what I wanted to find out! I love the IDGAF attitude, I need to internalize this and not let myself slip back into AFC ****.
And the chewing on a bag of crisps is ****ing GOLD! hahaha I don't think i'd find advice like this anywhere else.

NC mode it is then. Thanks again Derby, I can see that I got a **** load of mental adjustments that i need to make- but hopefully absorbing this info and applying (practicing) this will lead me to more success in the future.

For all other newbies who may be in similar situations - My initial gut reaction before coming to the forums was that some part of me (the AFC part) thought that this HB9 could easily get with any other guys, why would she even bother contacting me again if i just go NC- especially since she showed interest and we had a good time together. I started thinking that maybe my text message to her offended her, and I should have been nicer or maybe I should just try to contact her and tell her how much I enjoyed my time with her and that I would really like to see her again. IM SO GLAD I DIDN'T DO THAT!!

I'm sure many other AFC's feel the same way. Hopefully this thread helps them gain the insight I gained from reading the responses.

If there are an other pieces of advice on how to deal with this girl - lines to use, how to behave - I'm open and really appreciate the advice from this community.