LorenzoVonM
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2013
- Messages
- 192
- Reaction score
- 16
Okay, let's geek out on this:milano21 said:
We have to analyze this from the point of view that she actually has some interest in you. If she is just some psycho who gets her kicks from shooting guys down then the rest of this is null and void.
First thing to keep in mind is that she is the one that messaged you first. This puts you in the power position for the simple fact that you can make the choice whether you want to even respond. At some level she realizes this which is why she tries to reverse this by a fake disqualification and putting you to qualify yourself to her. She is actually running game like a lot of guys will do ex. The old "tell me 3 interesting things about you"
HER: if only you were taller
If you start trying to qualify yourself here with a bunch of crap about you having other good qualities, you are toast. You did good. You made a statement. It threw it back on her and the fact that you didn't ask any questions or seek anything else from her shows that you were fine if the interaction died right there. That is outcome independence and also abundance mentality. You don't need her or her sh1tty attitude.
You neutralized her power grab and you retained power because she kept responding. Not sure what the next string of messages were, you omitted them. It would really help if we knew what they were. Since you were in the driver seat you want to expend just a little less energy then she is putting forth. Think like when a girl gives shortish answers to your questions without followup questions of her own. You want her investing in you. If she is investing in you then you can reward her for that. **** tests vanquished, you can actually show a little of yourself.
I wouldn't have teased her about being shallow. You had passed the sh1t test, controlled the frame, so there was no need to tease any further. You had the power but tried doubling down on her. From the weaker position she turned it into an insult (she may not have even cared you called her shallow) to power grab again and protect herself. To get a little power back she was willing to blow up the entire interaction.
HER: How is that being shallow? Small man syndrome or what!
She just insulted you! If she sucks at teasing and didn't intend it that way then it is extremely poor social calibration. I would have ended it here regardless. The punishment surely did not fit the crime. You backtracked and apologized which was game over. Sensing blood in the water, and high on her new power she went for your balls. You expended a bunch of energy to make things "right" but the damage was done. She proceeded to try to crush you.
If you wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt (but I wouldn't have), you could have tried to make HER backtrack and chase again.
YOU: charming
That pretty much shows you are unaffected by her poor tease while very subtly suggesting she is being an idiot and blowing it. Also, you are again sub-communicating that you are okay if this interaction ends. It will also give you the information on whether she took your shallow comments as a real insult. If she chases again then you know she wasn't actually offended and was just trying to go for your nuts all along. If she doesn't respond then she was truly offended and this was going nowhere. If she responds with another sh1tty comment then NEXT, its just a pissing contest at that point.
At the end of the day, who really wants to analyze sh1t like this. Things should flow naturally and easy from the beginning. Good-natured teasing done well can be fun but it seems like you were both poorly calibrated. It slowly soured the interaction and turned you into adversaries. Instead of getting to know each other you were struggling for power. At some point she has to submit to make this worthwhile. It just felt "off". A good learning experience.
