Hawaiian Surfer Girl - eeeekkk...messed up my approach...

[harrison9876]

First off...

I am WAYYYYYYYYYY out of practice...morese than I thought.

There has been a really cool girl who lives at my building. Saw her a couple months back. We have said "hi" a couple times, and she has always been fairly warm and receptive...but I have never approached her or # closed. She is an easy HB8 or 9...

Rather than stumbling across a "chance" meeting, I decided to actually make it happen. I know she is a student and I see her around 9:30am heading to her car. My parking spot is across from hers...so I figure I as I had to clean out my car anyway...I'd go do that...and hope that I run into her.

10 years ago I was dating a model...and I had a LOT of game...but since ending a long-term relationship, I am back to Square 1...and my confidence is down looooooooow...DOAH!

Figuring I was going to run into her...I knew what I was going do, and what I was going to say...like REALLY basic and easy stuff.

After a bout 10 min., my car was done...I never saw her...and I had things to do...so I started heading back to my unit.

Low and behold, as I head up the stairs, she is rushing down the stairs in my direction.

Here is the chance I wanted to make...but...at that point of time...EVERYTHING went out the window.

hahaha...

As I approached her, I said "hi"...and she gave me a really nice smile back and a warm "hello"...

At that point we were just past each other...so I stopped and turned around.

ME - "hey...what's your name?

HER - HB9.

When she told me her name...I had to get her to repeat it, as I could not hear her...and her name was something I have never heard before...some sort of really interesting Hawaiian name. I actually had to get her to repeat it a few times.

ME - "ah...very cool. I'm DJHarrison".

I cannot recall if I extended my hand first, or if she gave me hers first...but regardless, that is basically where it ended.

She seemed like she was late for school or something...in a rush from the moment she came down the stairs...so "I" felt rushed...like I was picking up on HER energy.

And then I totally messed it...like BASIC conversation was now foreign to me.

Don't know what the hell I was thinking. It was like I was making an excuse into "why" I was introducing myself...

ME - "right on...well...I've seen you around a few times..."

HER - (with a smile) "yeah! Well it was really nice meeting you... "

THE END.

hahahahaha...

Yup...

That was IT.

I did not get any sense that I was bothering her, or that she wanted to run away from me...it just seemed like she was in a rush to get to class...

I could have "EASILY" commented on her interesting name...where she was from...the surfing...pretty anything that was RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE....

But nada...


Bad news:

I think it basically just came across as an "average" neighbor introducing himself because we have seen each other a couple times...nothing more.

Good news:

I will see her again...eventually...

Besides me OBVIOUSLY needing a hell of a lot more practice (cannot believe my game is off this badly after 5 years)...any comments on this one...or advice for next time?

YIKES!

 

[LiveYourDream]

Now you have her thinking and wondering about you, at least. You made a move which is better than many who wish they would have and let the opportunity pass them by. Don't beat yourself up. Next time you see her, casually invite her to join you, when you next intend to get drinks, go surfing, or something (tell her where you will be time/date/place). Invite her to join you in an activity you will be doing, with or without her, so there is more room for curiosity and less pressure for her.

 

[grayclif]

Say in a cool relaxed way - HB9 I know you are in a hurry but can I quickly get your number so I can introduce myself in a more proper fashion.

Next time you see her do what LYD said.

 

[harrison9876]

okay...will do...

One thing...

She is a bit of a Tom Boy...so she has a LOT of guy friends. When I see her, I usually only see her with guys (never girls)...and every time they are all different.

Like a few weeks ago I was in the Jacuzzi outside...and she showed up with two guys (probably from school or more surfer friends)...

Today, I was in the Jacuzzi...and a different guy showed up at her apartment door (all doors face the Jacuzzi).

I am sure these are all guy who are wanting to get with her...and for some reason it sorta throws me off...or makes me feel like "bah...forget this girl"...

 

[harrison9876]

Alright...

Well...I went over today when I knew she was home, and knocked on her door. She answered and was all smiles.

I told her that last week when I met her, I was in a bit of a rush, and that I wanted wanted to come by "officially" introduce myself.

She was very friendly, and we chatted for about 6 or 8 min.

For WHATEVER reason...I was nervous as hell...heart was racing. I also stumbled over some words...and on top of that...found some of my sentences came odd "weird"...so 100% I probably totally embarrassed myself in the process...

My C/F was also completely out the window...

Craziness.

I am SURE she could tell I was nervous...bah...whatever...

After about 5 minutes, we were talking a bit about school, and she mentioned that this was her last year...I asked if she was going to be heading back to Hawaii, or if she prefers it here, etc...

She told me she is going back home to Hawaii...as her family is there...it is home...and her boyfriend is there.

Things calmed down a wee bit after that, and I kept the convo going...

I know some guys will disagree...but I DID NOT go for the number...simply because she mentioned the BF. And hell if she was interested, she would NOT have mentioned him at all.

Convo ended well...more or less felt like just a casual introduction.

ah well...

 

[LiveYourDream]

What you did was out of your comfort zone and ballsy. Good for you!

Many would say to ignore a bf and go for it anyway. Clearly that's not your preference (I respect that.) I thought it was strong that you didn't immediately end the conversation and walk away butt hurt, but handled it smoothly, showing indifference.

I also respect the sense that you're moving on already. Next. If she ever initiates and let's you know she's free--Great! You are not going to be waiting around, or even necessarily available if she ever does. You have moved on. There are lots of other women in the world ready for your attention.

 

[Yewki]

You really need to stop over thinking this stuff. And I'm not just talking about this girl, but in general.

Notice how when you over analyze these things, try to plan out what you're going to say and what not, you usually end up stumbling over yourself? You're feeding your anxiety.

Next time your mind starts racing about a girl try to recognize it and stop. Take a deep breath, acknowledge this is not helping you, and clear your mind. For example, you see a guy at her door and start thinking, "Who is that guy? Does she like him? Why does she like him? etc" recognize this is happening and STOP. Obsessing over a girl is not going to do you any favors.

 

[Dynamited]

Yewki said it perfectly.

Get out of your head when talking to women. This happens when you're expecting something out from your convos with them.

I'm at my best self when i don't give a **** as to have the interaction goes. If she likes you, good. Otherwise move on.

This was how i developed a level of oneitis for a girl that didn't have much interest in me to begin with.

And you don't want to be in that position.