Having platonic female friends. Do it!

[PlayHer Man]

This is cardboard cutout misogyny. No wonder people are having difficulty developing and sustaining any kind of meaningful relationships. Sure there are women like that (as there are guys), but sweeping generalisations will get you nowhere in life. I got a 27 year old French chick trained up as a pretty lethal force in Starcraft 2. And I just spent part of the weekend playing split screen Resident Evil 5 with a 25 year old hottie (in between sex sessions).

Although if the only things you are interested in are "guns, war, sports, videogames" then you're probably also limiting the amount of men who would want to hang out.

I just want to clarify that I'm using the word "friend" liberally in this context. Some of them are true friends, but "aquaintence" also works, or at the very least, someone amicable enough to engage you in public and introduce you to her other female friends.

Your post oozes estrogen and White Knight logic.

What LiveFree X was pointing out is that a man has little, if any, motivation to be "friends" with people he has nothing in common with. Unless the man is metro-sexual and into gay stuff.. he won't have much in common with most feminine women. Also, he will have little motivation to be friends with masculine women he has no sexual attraction too since they will be higher maintenance than his male friends. Does that make sense? Why be friends with a more annoying version of a man?

YES.. knowing lots of women will make meeting new women easier. This is what spinning plates is based on. You SHOULD know lots of women. But knowing them and being their "friends" are not the same thing.

I know a lot of women.. but I'm not friends with them the way I am with men. If there is a sexual attraction I will act on it and either f*ck them or get rejected. If there is no sexual attraction.. there is no motivation to interact with them UNLESS they have hot friends I want to meet or bare some other fruit I can utilize.

 

[bugsquish]

PlayHerMan - showing respect to women and understanding the value of a meaningful relationship, is not at odds with being successful with them. In fact it can mean the opposite (I have girls falling in love with me all the time). Traits like compassion, empathy, and genuinely caring - that you would probably call "gay" - are probably part of the reason that I can arrange multiple simultaneous relationships without too much resistance, and why I can maintain a friendship afterwards if it ends (because I ended it).

Again, I'm being liberal with my use of friends to mean anything from friendly near strangers to bbfs. The point is to have a friendly face in public. I do have close female friends who I have never been romantically involved with; it happens and it's useful, and they're awesome.

I'm not suggesting people make best buddies with anyone who has no shared interests. But to suggest that men and women can't share any interests is just crazy. This ultra-macho mindset where everything can be categorised into man-friendly or woman-only/gay - where never the two shall meet - just seems very archaic and narrow minded to me. But then I've never been into sports, and I bang a lot of women, all the time. I guess this macho thing works with a certain type of girl. But will she have any depth? I like intelligent conversation.

Espi - last paragraph to you too.

 

[bugsquish]

For the record, yes I respect and empathise with women. I do play the knight sometimes, sure. But I keep everything on my terms and I am always the leader. Women never disrespect me and in fact are usually falling over backwards to please me. But it's all very wholesome and happy.

Some of the extreme modern forms of feminism really piss me off, but extreme machoism ("woman must fit inside my own narrowly defined boundaries or she's a feminist or weirdo") is just the other extreme end of the spectrum that is just as bad. I'm encouraging exploration of the middle ground here.

 

[PlayHer Man]

PlayHerMan - showing respect to women and understanding the value of a meaningful relationship, is not at odds with being successful with them. In fact it can mean the opposite (I have girls falling in love with me all the time). Traits like compassion, empathy, and genuinely caring - that you would probably call "gay" - are probably part of the reason that I can arrange multiple simultaneous relationships without too much resistance, and why I can maintain a friendship afterwards if it ends (because I ended it).

Again, I'm being liberal with my use of friends to mean anything from friendly near strangers to bbfs. The point is to have a friendly face in public. I do have close female friends who I have never been romantically involved with; it happens and it's useful, and they're awesome.

I'm not suggesting people make best buddies with anyone who has no shared interests. But to suggest that men and women can't share any interests is just crazy. This ultra-macho mindset where everything can be categorised into man-friendly or woman-only/gay - where never the two shall meet - just seems very archaic and narrow minded to me. But then I've never been into sports, and I bang a lot of women, all the time. I guess this macho thing works with a certain type of girl. But will she have any depth? I like intelligent conversation.

Espi - last paragraph to you too.

If what you do works for you and you're happy with the results.. then there is nothing wrong with it bro.

You are simply a different type of man. There are many types of men. You have artists vs. sports guys vs. business guys vs. criminals vs. beta fags... and many more.

I would categorize you as the type who enjoys interacting with people even if you get nothing out of it. I would consider myself more of an explorer and lone wolf. I utilize relationships but have no strong NEED for them --> Therefore.. I must profit from relationships to have an incentive to maintain them.

Men are relatively low drama and non-parasitic. They don't cry, ask for constant favors, need protection or need to "talk" nearly as much as women. The relationship is simple and straight forward. With women.. (at least for me) all that additional maintenance needs to come with additional value to be worth it.

If I'm going to pay more.. I need to GET more.

 

[Slickster]

There seem to be two types of people on this forum.

1. Normal guys
2. Gender obsessed

It's not very difficult to spot them or identify the guys who are living great lives and are successful with women.

The normal guys share their REAL life experiences. When it works we are left with gems like Bugsquish here. His infectiously positive vibe is reminiscent of great SSers like Senor Fingers. Truly good stuff which hopefully will inspire all.

The guys with gender issues share links to trashy tabloid stories and articles they find on the internets and endlessly discuss them like a bunch of catty feminists. They are gender crusaders. Its a war for them. They shame anyone who doesn't agree with their misogynistic views. Arguing with them is futile. It's just like dealing with feminists. A waste of time. They generally break the entire male/female dynamic down to Men=Good Women=Bad. The exact opposite of hardcore feminists. They don't share personal stories about women because they probably don't have any worth telling. Many claim they are having success with women but its pretty obvious that something just isn't adding up.


For all the guys who don't have a use for female friends I truly feel sorry for you. I know hundreds of people. Tons of women. I don't socialize or even keep in close touch with most of them but I do consider all of them friends. These are people who I truly care about and value their thoughts and opinions. Some of these "friendships" have a sexual undertones but others do not and never have. I have female friends who I wouldn't even sit and have a beer with but would be right there by my bedside if I was suddenly stuck sick in the hospital. (True story.)

If you don't have people (and gasp Women) in your life like this then if feel for you. It's not a requirement but my life is certainly enriched by having women around. There is nothing wrong with this. It doesn't make me a white knight, a mangina, a beta faggot, or any thing else. If you don't have or want any relationships with women like this then that is fine too. I'm certainly not going to criticize that.

Bugsquish is sharing stories of positive success with women on a website that is dedicated to just that. DO NOT criticize or shame unless you have your own to share.

 

[Boilermaker]

There seem to be two types of people on this forum.

1. Normal guys
2. Gender obsessed

It's not very difficult to spot them or identify the guys who are living great lives and are successful with women.

The normal guys share their REAL life experiences. When it works we are left with gems like Bugsquish here. His infectiously positive vibe is reminiscent of great SSers like Senor Fingers. Truly good stuff which hopefully will inspire all.

The guys with gender issues share links to trashy tabloid stories and articles they find on the internets and endlessly discuss them like a bunch of catty feminists. They are gender crusaders. Its a war for them. They shame anyone who doesn't agree with their misogynistic views. Arguing with them is futile. It's just like dealing with feminists. A waste of time. They generally break the entire male/female dynamic down to Men=Good Women=Bad. The exact opposite of hardcore feminists. They don't share personal stories about women because they probably don't have any worth telling. Many claim they are having success with women but its pretty obvious that something just isn't adding up.


For all the guys who don't have a use for female friends I truly feel sorry for you. I know hundreds of people. Tons of women. I don't socialize or even keep in close touch with most of them but I do consider all of them friends. These are people who I truly care about and value their thoughts and opinions. Some of these "friendships" have a sexual undertones but others do not and never have. I have female friends who I wouldn't even sit and have a beer with but would be right there by my bedside if I was suddenly stuck sick in the hospital. (True story.)

If you don't have people (and gasp Women) in your life like this then if feel for you. It's not a requirement but my life is certainly enriched by having women around. There is nothing wrong with this. It doesn't make me a white knight, a mangina, a beta faggot, or any thing else. If you don't have or want any relationships with women like this then that is fine too. I'm certainly not going to criticize that.

Bugsquish is sharing stories of positive success with women on a website that is dedicated to just that. DO NOT criticize or shame unless you have your own to share.

I fully agree with this post . I have many female friends whose opinions matter for me. Some of these girls secretly have a crush on me, some of them don't, some of them remember me (and remember that they like me) only when we are out and drinking , ... but I 'd consider them friends.

In fact, women are more reliable and helpful when I get sick or just get bored ... My male friends include Category 1 Suavers and Category 2 Suavers unfortunately. Needless to say; gender obssessed friends are no fun to be around with, turn BBQ parties into real life forum wars; too strict to get out of their comfort zone, and too old to change ...

Alas, I choose to be happy. Happiness is the end of a struggle worth going through.

Cheers,

 

[PlayHer Man]

I fully agree with this post . I have many female friends whose opinions matter for me. Some of these girls secretly have a crush on me, some of them don't, some of them remember me (and remember that they like me) only when we are out and drinking , ... but I 'd consider them friends.

In fact, women are more reliable and helpful when I get sick or just get bored ... My male friends include Category 1 Suavers and Category 2 Suavers unfortunately. Needless to say; gender obssessed friends are no fun to be around with, turn BBQ parties into real life forum wars; too strict to get out of their comfort zone, and too old to change ...

Alas, I choose to be happy. Happiness is the end of a struggle worth going through.

Cheers,

I doubt any of your female friends want to date you or f*ck you. That's all in your head.

Female friends will keep "sex in the air" because they know it stimulates men. It keeps the relationship fun...even if she knows she will NEVER date the guy. Women become sexually attracted FAST and if there is emotional bonding there too.. its very hard for them not to come onto you.

None of your female friends have romantic interest in you bro. FACT. Sorry man.

You are basically another woman to them. And the way you talk on this site.. I can see why. :crackup: :crackup:

 

[Solomon]

There seem to be two types of people on this forum.

1. Normal guys
2. Gender obsessed

It's not very difficult to spot them or identify the guys who are living great lives and are successful with women.

The normal guys share their REAL life experiences. When it works we are left with gems like Bugsquish here. His infectiously positive vibe is reminiscent of great SSers like Senor Fingers. Truly good stuff which hopefully will inspire all.

The guys with gender issues share links to trashy tabloid stories and articles they find on the internets and endlessly discuss them like a bunch of catty feminists. They are gender crusaders. Its a war for them. They shame anyone who doesn't agree with their misogynistic views. Arguing with them is futile. It's just like dealing with feminists. A waste of time. They generally break the entire male/female dynamic down to Men=Good Women=Bad. The exact opposite of hardcore feminists. They don't share personal stories about women because they probably don't have any worth telling. Many claim they are having success with women but its pretty obvious that something just isn't adding up.


For all the guys who don't have a use for female friends I truly feel sorry for you. I know hundreds of people. Tons of women. I don't socialize or even keep in close touch with most of them but I do consider all of them friends. These are people who I truly care about and value their thoughts and opinions. Some of these "friendships" have a sexual undertones but others do not and never have. I have female friends who I wouldn't even sit and have a beer with but would be right there by my bedside if I was suddenly stuck sick in the hospital. (True story.)

If you don't have people (and gasp Women) in your life like this then if feel for you. It's not a requirement but my life is certainly enriched by having women around. There is nothing wrong with this. It doesn't make me a white knight, a mangina, a beta faggot, or any thing else. If you don't have or want any relationships with women like this then that is fine too. I'm certainly not going to criticize that.

Bugsquish is sharing stories of positive success with women on a website that is dedicated to just that. DO NOT criticize or shame unless you have your own to share.

What you expect Slickter, back in the day we earned our stripes in the field now to earn your stripes you have to be a KJ or at least type elquently

:rock:

 

[( . )( . )]

They shame anyone who doesn't agree with their misogynistic views.

Uh oh, Slickster's wife is looking over his shoulder again. I think I'm starting to loathe manginas almost as much as chicks do.

Serious question for you slickster if you'll humour me.
You're with say 4 other men. Another fella turns up smelling of stale booze and a good night. One of the guys turns to him and says "How'd you go last night with that chick?" He answers "Yeah good, fvcked her in the ass and put her in a taxi". lolz ensue...except for you of course. He continues "Didn't even cook her breakfast either "

Now my question is this. Do you (no women present) bring out the "WOMAN HATER" in that scenario?

 

[Boilermaker]

I doubt any of your female friends want to date you or f*ck you. That's all in your head.

Female friends will keep "sex in the air" because they know it stimulates men. It keeps the relationship fun...even if she knows she will NEVER date the guy. Women become sexually attracted FAST and if there is emotional bonding there too.. its very hard for them not to come onto you.

None of your female friends have romantic interest in you bro. FACT. Sorry man.

You are basically another woman to them. And the way you talk on this site.. I can see why. :crackup: :crackup:

Wait , Foucault I am confused , they come on to me but I am basically another woman to them?

If you say so, PlayHer .

:crackup:

 

[donking]

What I've observed is that people who have women around them (hopefully f'ing them) are generally happier.

For me, the best way to be "friends" defined loosely, is post-fuc. Once you've had a woman, a lot of BS decreases as long as you don't try to stay in a relationship with her.

Back to topic at hand, I think "platonic" friendships are BS, but you can be a friend with woman after u'd banged her.

 

[( . )( . )]

What I've observed is that people who have women around them (hopefully f'ing them) are generally happier.

Not from what I've seen. All the orbiters (not phucking them) I've seen are insipid types and miserable. Personally I don't think it's a healthy environment for a man to be constantly around. Lets face it, it was the norm for thousands of years for men not to be gabbing with the womenfolk. It's only the last what 40 years? the cathedral decided it was a good idea.

But then again gender is just a social construct

 

[lifeislearning]

I would categorize you as the type who enjoys interacting with people even if you get nothing out of it.

If there is enjoyment then he gets something out of it. Isn't that why we interact with each other in general?

Women become sexually attracted FAST and if there is emotional bonding there too.. its very hard for them not to come onto you.

I too am a supporter of seeking friendship with even one woman, as they have a tendency to test me on a level none of my male friends do.

I do agree with the above quote though, and such is my challenge with keeping a female friend for long. I've had a number of female friends that simmer with the attraction for weeks or months until I'm available, but then again women in my life know I'll stop their advances instantly if I'm in a committed relationship.

 

[Zunder]

The only guys I have seen over the years who have lots of female "friends" -- and by friends I mean the true PLATONIC meaning of the word "friends" - were GAY.

You may not agree with all the writings of Rollo, but one thing he is bang on dead right about is "If your not fvcking her, you're her girlfriend".

Fvck. That. Sh!t.

Women as friends in the true meaning of the word "friend"--nah, I'll pass on that and leave it to the phags.

 

[MatureDJ]

I don't have a problem with this. If the alternative is to not be with a girlfriend, being "friends" with a girl who has many friends opens up the door to having those friends want to be romantic with you. And there always is the chance of getting f0ck buddy sex. The key is to not be drawn into a situation in which your platonic friend is not out disrespecting you by strongly flirting with other guys, or you being her crying tampon.

Oh, and it's been my experience that women who seemed to me to be "just friends" with me were really just taking things slowly, as they really wanted me as a boyfriend. Maybe that's just me, whereas some guys really do get put into the tampon position.

In summary, I think this can be done, and be as an asset - so long as you keep the proper frame throughout.

 

[bugsquish]

...so long as you don't slip into the no-no's - betatude, orbiting, negotiating for sex, emotional tamponing, and the like. Those things happen when betas attempt to "game" women with niceness.

This is a very important point, and the reason I don't befriend direct rejections. My niceness is offset with being the dominant person, and for the most part emotionally unavailable.

Bugsquish, I'd refrain from hurling the "M" word at guys who disagree with you. There's more than one way to skin a cat. This is a place for men, you're going to get some different opinions.

I've come back here after a long hiatus and there is a fair amount of misogyny on the board now, compared to the old days (as noted by some of the other guys above). I've re-read this some of the other attitudes, and I'm seeing it's a bit more complex than straight up woman-hating. Sexist sure, gender obsessed yes. In this case I didn't mention this because he disagreed, but in response to "[women] are just competing to fvck you or couldn't care less about you". You really can't generalise like that. But you're right there are different types of people here, I need to absorb the new culture some more. For now, I take it back.

 

[betheman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRGqvB_WxBs

I have no idea who this dude is, but I believe he's 100% correct about men and women being "friends."

aint that the truth!!!

this female friends nonesense is exactly that...nonesense, what the OP describes as friendship isnt, he is using women as a utility, a vehicle, that IS NOT friendship.
had this debate with women at work who all became quite animated at my stance, "I have a few male friends, are you telling me they only want something out of it? ....yes, text them something like, "Im at a loose end this weekend and feeling quite lonely" and watch the response, they wouldnt do it of course, deluded fools think it really is just friendship.

 

[Slickster]

Uh oh, Slickster's
Serious question for you slickster if you'll humour me.
You're with say 4 other men. Another fella turns up smelling of stale booze and a good night. One of the guys turns to him and says "How'd you go last night with that chick?" He answers "Yeah good, fvcked her in the ass and put her in a taxi". lolz ensue...except for you of course. He continues "Didn't even cook her breakfast either "

Now my question is this. Do you (no women present) bring out the "WOMAN HATER" in that scenario?

I'd give the guy a high five and probably smell my fingers hoping that some of the pvssy smell rubbed off.

WTF does any of this have to do with having female "friends" or women hating? Where do you get these crazy notions about me?

For the record I'm not advocating hanging around women being a orbiter who is hoping for a sniff. That is just lame.

 

[Aristippus]

Bugsquish,

I could definitely see how this could work. Using your social circle of female friends to meet women. The funny thing is, you can use the social circle as a source of women or completely avoid using your social circle as a way to meet women. It all depends on your style.

At one time I had a few small social circles of mostly male, but the occasional female friend. Since I chose my friends carefully and since I'm always about low drama, I had the same attitude of sleeping with/dating females in my social circle that I had about work. I chose to make any women that I worked with, or who were friends of women that I worked with, and any female friends of my own, off-limits.

I preferred to use my social circle as a haven away from female drama. Not that I disliked women. I just realized that sexual/romantic involvement with a woman in your social circle can later on cause drama to bleed over from you and her into your social circle. So I had these small social circles that were isolated from each other. I might spend time with one small group one weekend, then another friend that was in a different social circle the next.

I would meet women out if I felt the urge or simply not, if I chose. I could have social interaction if I felt like it or be a hermit if I wanted to. I could enjoy the company of other people and women, or solitude.

I can definitely see how a large social circle of women could be a source of women you sleep with. Do you find that sleeping with lots of women in your circle creates a lot of drama? Just curious because I always kept these scenarios at arm's-length by design.

I'm married now but until I met my wife, I had no interest in a serious relationship. I felt like the more involved with women you were (meaning the less casual, short term and the more serious, long-term) the more drama and headaches you would have to deal with. While this is true, if you find one you feel is marriage material, even if there is some extra responsibility or some drama you didn't have before, there's usually a positive trade-off.

Nothing's ever 100% perfect and sometimes it just takes two people getting used to certain changes. Sometimes, because you're two different people with different ideas, there will be some conflict or some misunderstandings. That's to be expected to some degree. Overall, I enjoy her. She's very attractive, a good cook, sweet, loyal, and is crazy about me. We're both crazy about each other and that's how it should be. I wouldn't give up my single life for anything less.

 

[PlayHer Man]

I've come back here after a long hiatus and there is a fair amount of misogyny on the board now, compared to the old days (as noted by some of the other guys above). I've re-read this some of the other attitudes, and I'm seeing it's a bit more complex than straight up woman-hating. Sexist sure, gender obsessed yes. In this case I didn't mention this because he disagreed, but in response to "[women] are just competing to fvck you or couldn't care less about you". You really can't generalise like that. But you're right there are different types of people here, I need to absorb the new culture some more. For now, I take it back.

As the overall quality of modern women declines.. misogyny will continue to rise.

No man comes out of the womb with a strong hatred for women. Even after a few bad experiences, most men won't see that as a reason to hate women. If women are increasingly hated, its because they are increasingly hard to love.

Most men with high self-esteem and self-respect won't have the patience to tolerate the crap your average modern woman dishes out. When he refuses to eat sh!t from abusive women, he is attacked by society and called a pig, dog, misogynist, a*shole, etc.

Its really only the brainwashed, chicken-sh!t, beta fags with low self-esteem who respond to abuse with a bucy of flowers and a big cheesy grin while drenched in nervous sweat. :crackup: :crackup:

I still don't hate women. But I'll admit I don't respect the majority of them.