Having platonic female friends. Do it!

[bugsquish]

A subject that came up on my earlier thread about threesomes, was that of keeping female friends in your circle, who you are not (currently) having sex with. Looks like some people have no interest in retaining anything other than sexual contact with a female. If they are not currently having or pursuing sex, then the woman offers no value to them and is thrown back like an inedible fish.

This attitude is killing your game. The best thing you can do to be successful with women, is to constantly surround yourself with women.

I make a lot more effort to befriend women than I do with men. If I'm not currently available I will still approach girls for networking. If I am available but they aren't, I will befriend their boyfriends too. This is about the only time I make new male friends. I stay in contact with ex-girlfriends, ex-lovers, ex-one night stands and often make female friends directly if there is no opportunity or desire to pursue her romantically.

In fact the only exception to this whole concept is if I get directly rejected by a girl that I have actively pursued romantically. I generally don't pursue friendship there. I don't want to be reminded and have rejection dragging down my ego. There's no point hanging around those girls hoping they will change their minds. If it's more indirect rejection like lack of availability then I go for the friendship option with my ego intact.

Having female friends makes it easier to be seen in public with women. I find new girls are much more relaxed and trusting if they have seen me with a woman, or if I introduce her to a female friend. The best of all is if my female friend introduces me to her. I mentioned in the other thread that I've bedded 41 of my FB friends. Well I just counted 16 of those were introduced to me by other female friends. I can guarantee you that this process is like a stamp of approval - it will increase her chances of going home with you immediately, by like 500%.

I've had this attitude for so long that I actually get on a lot better with girls than with guys, and the majority of my friends are girls. I've spent a lot of time around them and it has honed my intuition about their body language, state of mind, arousal, etc. It also gives you lot of inside knowledge about how their minds work and how they differ from men, which can also be quite a learning process.

Girls are a really interesting contrast to the workings of a man's mind. They are a lot of fun and can really make you think about things in a way you might not have previously. And they communicate differently. In essence I think there is hint of flirtation in almost any interaction between almost any male/female of mutual breeding age, if there is a hint of attraction. Even if it's not logistically possible for something to happen. This can be subtle, or less so as described in my other thread. To truly understand the nature of flirting you just need to expose yourself to it a lot. Practise on your female friends! The same goes for physical contact if you don't go overboard.

So the advantages of maintaining platonic friendships with females:

* Desensitise yourself to female company.
* Be seen in public surrounded by women.
* Have new girls introduced to you
* Hone your intuition.
* Learn how their minds work from a neutral standpoint.
* Practise flirting.
* Practise basic physical contact.
* Being available for chance events like rebounds, drunken one night stands, or threesomes.
* It's fun!

And why wouldn't you? If you don't have female friends:

* 100% of your contact with women will be during your pickup.
* You will be seen only alone or with other men.
* You will have to rely on cold pickup with only a wingman for support.
* All of your experiences about the true nature of women will come from pickups alone.
* All of your practise in flirting and physical conteact will come from pickup alone.

--

So that's it, I have lots to share but this honestly seems like the most important message to get out there right now. People need to lose that borderline misogynous (or femalephobic) notion that women are some kind of second rate species that can only be used for one thing. They are people too. I freaking love women, and it shows, and they love me because of it. And if they can't have sex with me for whatever reason, they are usually more than happy to help me find someone who will

 

[PlayHer Man]

If you're going to have female friends.. its best you don't want to f*ck them but they want to f*ck you. Otherwise it won't be much fun since female friends are very high maintenance when they're not attracted to you.

In the case that neither of you want to f*ck each other.. its unlikely you'll even become friends.

High maintenance female friends often take attention away from your plates who are actually available for f*cking. Its hard for me to be friends with a female I don't find attractive AT ALL unless she is VERY fun to be around.. and even then.. she has to at least be f*ckable if I'm drunk.

There is no friendship between men and women. It doesn't exist. It can't exist. There is always something in the background driving the relationship that has nothing to do with friendship.

 

[Scormus]

Yes be friends with women you can imagine getting hard with but who would never be good enough to be your GF.

 

[speed dawg]

Bugsquish, glad that you've found YOUR game, but it isn't mine. More power to you, though. You sound like an extroverted, visual status type guy. Nothing wrong with that if that's your thing. I'm introverted myself, and prefer to go about things on my own, outside of big groups.

 

[Mike32ct]

Just don't be an orbiter to any of them. Then it's fine.

In other words, you are friendly with several females, but you aren't giving any particular one excessive attention or doing lots of favors for her.

You're just a friendly, cool guy, not someone who wants anything from them.

 

[yyc12]

If you're going to have female friends.. its best you don't want to f*ck them but they want to f*ck you. Otherwise it won't be much fun since female friends are very high maintenance when they're not attracted to you.

In the case that neither of you want to f*ck each other.. its unlikely you'll even become friends.

I had one female friend for a couple of yrs now. She's not into me, and I'm not into her but she's now getting upset because I haven't, after all this time, tried to make a play for her. Guess men and women really can't be friends, :crackup: .

 

[nismo-4]

Men and women cannot be friends. I'm a firm believer of that.

LJBF's are rejections. The only way I'm gonna be friends with women is if I've already banged them or they're an ex, and even then I don't really talk to them. Sorry, no backwards moving for me.

And if these platonic friends go telling other women that you're in their friendzone, what do you think will happen? Pre-rejection, that's what. And telegraphings of "beta male."

Oh yeah, and women don't give good advice on getting women. You have to have them as more than a friend. If you're a friend to a woman, you might as well be an orbiter.

BTW, does Briffault's Law hold any meaning for you?

 

[DAardwolf]

bugsquish, if this works for you then I say go for it. But for me, and judging from other posts in these forums, "surrounding yourself with women" doesn't work well.

It can be terrible, actually.

I only hope that you don't end up "caring" for one of these lady friends of yours.

In my experience, the only time being with a woman attracts other women is if you're being attentive to the one you're with. The kind of attention that you simply wouldn't give a lady you're not actually with. That is, a "friend."

And those awesome, drunken, sexual encounters can be just as likely with a stranger. No matter how fvked up my lady "friends" are, they will not let down their boundaries. And I would not take advantage of her under the influence.

And nismo-4, I can completely, utterly, testify that "women don't give good advice on getting women." They idealize what they think a woman should want and sabotage your efforts at the same time.

 

[Slickster]

Hey Bug!

I haven't seen you post on here for ages!

I like this post and agree 100%. It's a good message, however,

I'm not sure if you've noticed but the forum is quite a bit different from back in the day.

Be careful about throwing around ideas like this. No one will agree with you despite your obvious success.

This forum has seemingly been overrun by misogynist types. It's a "rah-rah for men and down with women" forum now. Your threesome story (which is awesome) is sadly a rare thing in these parts. There is actually more seduction and useful content on the kiddie forum these days. Take a scroll thru the post titles here and you'll see what I mean.

Keep up the good work and keep the stories coming.

Slick

 

[Scormus]

Plato was a fool.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Scormus,
"Plato was a fool".....There you are!...I always thought it was a Greek Washing up Liquid!

 

[Bible_Belt]

There's vbulletin forums about every topic you can imagine. Some of the ones I frequent are about topics like cars, motorcycles, tractors, and tomatoes. One thing that they all have in common is that the group of people gathered to discuss a particular topic all have a love for that topic.

And then there's sosuave. We are all gathered here to discuss how to attract women; and yet we hate women at the same time. You don't see posts on other forums like that. No one is on the tractor forum saying These tractors are out to get us! I hate them! That wouldn't make sense. And it doesn't make sense here.

The OP is one of my favorite people on sosuave right now. It's not just the things he says, it's the spirit in which they are said. Notice that his attitude is a lot different from most of the other people who post. Success creates positive thinking, which creates more success.

I agree with everything said in the original post. But I also agree with Nismo that men and women can't be friends. The difference is the definition of the word. My definition of "friend" does not include wanting to fvck my friend. I will be all kinds of friendly to a woman, and might not even try or expect to fvck her....but I still would....and that changes the dynamic into something that I would not call friendship. It's like being friends with someone rich so that you might have a chance at getting some of their wealth; if you want something out of the deal, then that's not friendship.

 

[Zunder]

I had one female friend for a couple of yrs now. She's not into me, and I'm not into her but she's now getting upset because I haven't, after all this time, tried to make a play for her. Guess men and women really can't be friends, :crackup: .

All that means is she was into you.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

All that means is she was into you.

It means he wasn't giving her the type of attention that she craved. She didn't have that power over him, and it effected her.

 

[( . )( . )]

This forum has seemingly been overrun by misogynist types. It's a "rah-rah for men and down with women"

http://rlv.zcache.com/smash_the_pat...afda5ed4286808d7f1babac7056_ems_8byvr_512.jpg

 

[bugsquish]

It's true that male-female relationships are not the same as same sex ones. I acknowledged that there is usually an element of flirtation (which is good). And I also advise against befriending direct rejections (ie. LJBFs).

But to say male-female friendships don't exist is complete crap. I have a few female friends who I have never had sex with and never even tried to. Often it was due to lack of attraction on my part, but this can also happen with women who are in relationships. Otherwise there is always the chance that something could happen. But that's a good thing right? You're the one in control, right?

Of course sometimes it goes wrong. My list of FB ex-sexual partners fluctuates because often girls will unfriend me (it's happened about 5 times that I can think of) because those attempts at friendship failed due to feelings on their part. But for the most part if you have a genuine interest in maintaining a friendship it will come across that way, and will seem natural.

Having women around you exposes you as a "beta male"? Also complete crap. How do these new women know the dynamic there? It could just as easily be that these existing women are pursuing you. Frame it however you like, I just know that having female company demonstrates that you're probably not creepy or dangerous. It reduces resistance and increases the chances any new girls will feel comfortable to go home with you on the spot.

The question of HOW to create a friendship from a sexual partner is more difficult. With girls who have feelings for you it can be difficult. It takes about a year after a proper breakup before this is possible. ONSs are pretty easy, you just stay in touch without hooking up. With ex-lovers (FWB) you really have to be honest from the outset that you are not interested in a relationship, just friendship (while also initiating sex). The important part there is to cut things short when you feel that she is getting attached and developing feelings, otherwise it's not fair to continue if you have no intention of entering a relationship. If you can avoid any bitterness then keeping a friendship is easy if it's what you really want.

I'm not saying you have to be best friends with every woman you meet (although you can with some). But at least stay amicable and friendly so that they include you in their social circle when you see them in public.

Slickster and Bible_Belt, good to see some familiar faces who remember the good ol days

 

[Zunder]

It's true that male-female relationships are not the same as same sex ones. I acknowledged that there is usually an element of flirtation (which is good). And I also advise against befriending direct rejections (ie. LJBFs).

But to say male-female friendships don't exist is complete crap. I have a few female friends who I have never had sex with and never even tried to. Often it was due to lack of attraction on my part, but this can also happen with women who are in relationships. Otherwise there is always the chance that something could happen. But that's a good thing right? You're the one in control, right?

Of course sometimes it goes wrong. My list of FB ex-sexual partners fluctuates because often girls will unfriend me (it's happened about 5 times that I can think of) because those attempts at friendship failed due to feelings on their part. But for the most part if you have a genuine interest in maintaining a friendship it will come across that way, and will seem natural.

Having women around you exposes you as a "beta male"? Also complete crap. How do these new women know the dynamic there? It could just as easily be that these existing women are pursuing you. Frame it however you like, I just know that having female company demonstrates that you're probably not creepy or dangerous. It reduces resistance and increases the chances any new girls will feel comfortable to go home with you on the spot.

The question of HOW to create a friendship from a sexual partner is more difficult. With girls who have feelings for you it can be difficult. It takes about a year after a proper breakup before this is possible. ONSs are pretty easy, you just stay in touch without hooking up. With ex-lovers (FWB) you really have to be honest from the outset that you are not interested in a relationship, just friendship (while also initiating sex). The important part there is to cut things short when you feel that she is getting attached and developing feelings, otherwise it's not fair to continue if you have no intention of entering a relationship. If you can avoid any bitterness then keeping a friendship is easy if it's what you really want.

I'm not saying you have to be best friends with every woman you meet (although you can with some). But at least stay amicable and friendly so that they include you in their social circle when you see them in public.

Slickster and Bible_Belt, good to see some familiar faces who remember the good ol days

What do you mean by "friends". Are we talking back slapping beer drinking buddies you have known for years and regularly hang with, or are we actually talking about "acquaintances" that you might spend time with a couple times a year?
The use of the word "friends" is often used completely erroneously.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Why the fvk would you want to be friends with a woman? That's so stupid, I swear to god some of you had your balls cut off.

Women don't want YOU as a friend if your game is high so why would you want them as a friend unless you are a manginac tool. Your wife should be the only woman you keep as a platonic hang out friend, the rest are just competing to fvck you or couldn't care less about you. How some men prefer the 'company' of women.... I'll never understand. Women ARE BORING... they like chocolate, puppies, babies and drama... that's about it. They don't appreciate guns, war, sports, videogames or anything predominately male. If given a choice, a woman would much rather shop than spend an afternoon fragging n00bs on HALO. If she doesn't then she's probably a feminist or a weirdo. Think about it.

 

[bugsquish]

Why the fvk would you want to be friends with a woman? That's so stupid, I swear to god some of you had your balls cut off.

Women don't want YOU as a friend if your game is high so why would you want them as a friend unless you are a manginac tool. Your wife should be the only woman you keep as a platonic hang out friend, the rest are just competing to fvck you or couldn't care less about you. How some men prefer the 'company' of women.... I'll never understand. Women ARE BORING... they like chocolate, puppies, babies and drama... that's about it. They don't appreciate guns, war, sports, videogames or anything predominately male. If given a choice, a woman would much rather shop than spend an afternoon fragging n00bs on HALO. If she doesn't then she's probably a feminist or a weirdo. Think about it.

This is cardboard cutout misogyny. No wonder people are having difficulty developing and sustaining any kind of meaningful relationships. Sure there are women like that (as there are guys), but sweeping generalisations will get you nowhere in life. I got a 27 year old French chick trained up as a pretty lethal force in Starcraft 2. And I just spent part of the weekend playing split screen Resident Evil 5 with a 25 year old hottie (in between sex sessions).

Although if the only things you are interested in are "guns, war, sports, videogames" then you're probably also limiting the amount of men who would want to hang out.

I just want to clarify that I'm using the word "friend" liberally in this context. Some of them are true friends, but "aquaintence" also works, or at the very least, someone amicable enough to engage you in public and introduce you to her other female friends.

 

[Solomon]

Spot on

It always baffled me how vehemently guys were against this. Because it goes hand in hand with the whole "Prize" mentality mantra that is preached on this site. If you are the "Prize" or "Alpha"(as you guys like to call it) then women wanting to hang out with you that you're not banging actually is quite common. Before this site I learned about "Pre-selection" and "Social proof" from hanging around with naturals, albeit I didn't know the terms then I realized that naturals would always be around female friends or better yet acquaintances and guess what, it actually helped them pick up more women. The problem is having hung out with some of you guys IRL, most guys only think with their ****s not realizing that "befriending" women can help you meet more women. Most guys don't get this but it's part of the whole social circle game which actually makes meeting women a lot easier!

However my opinion has changed a bit on the topic. I think Warrior said it best in an old thread

You guys are confused to the meaning of the word "friend".

Rollo gave you the game but you went binary on his advice and just discarded it. What you call a female friend is really a female acquaintance. I know. I have females I call "friends" who run up and hug me, introduce me to all of their friends, hook me up with their girlfriends. Love to go party with me. But they are not gonna come help me move, or just come by to grill out and watch the playoffs.

Try this...every time you have a single female friend, compare the amount of time you spend with her when she's single to the amount of time when she's not single. Compare the number of times she calls before and after.

Now compare that to your male buddies in the same situation.

You will see a drop in both male and female but I bet the female drop will be even more drastic than the male. That's my personal experience anyway.

I may call a girl a friend,but I consider her an acquaintance and I never depend on her for anything real.

The truth is that a lot of these women, while if they are single are down to hang out, talk on the phone, go out to eat, work out etc. Once they are not single it changes. And as it should, as it's not proper behavior for a women to hang out with her "Guy" friends

I do agree with OP because what he says correlates with my own experiences. If you're the prize or a high value guy women wanna be around you, and you can use that for your benefit.

But don't confuse friendship with being a glorified acquaintance