Having kids at 40 yrs old

[BackInTheGame78]

Call me grandpa, I'll kill ya! - Coub

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I became a father with 39 and when i am 50 i am still gonna kick 95% of gen. snowflakes ass in every aspect of life.


@_sideways_
That said...... there is a physical strain on you as a dad but as long as you are physical fit, the sky is the limit. Just take Stallone as a role model, this guy is an inspiration. Personally i wouldnt go past 55 and not with a woman past 35.

Well, I hope that's true. Just know your 40s is the decade where you experience the biggest decline physically and lots of things start popping up that you never had to worry about before.

It's tough...definitely doable, but not as easy as you would think.

 

[Slowhandluke]

@_sideways_
That said...... there is a physical strain on you as a dad but as long as you are physical fit, the sky is the limit. Just take Stallone as a role model, this guy is an inspiration. Personally i wouldnt go past 55 and not with a woman past 35.
[/QUOTE]

i think Donald Trump had his latest son Barron when he was 60?

 

[Slowhandluke]

Well, I hope that's true. Just know your 40s is the decade where you experience the biggest decline physically and lots of things start popping up that you never had to worry about before.

It's tough...definitely doable, but not as easy as you would think.

I'm over 40... I disagree with you. However, I have always been active and physical fit... perhaps for the average 40+ year old guy, maybe.. but these guys are not really dating that much.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

i think Donald Trump had his latest son Barron when he was 60?

I think I saw them playing frisbee together.

 

[ManFromTartarus]

I had my child at 42, mentally I was better off (I was a little wild in my younger days), physically I wish I had done it earlier on life when I was stronger.

 

[ManFromTartarus]

Yes, I do miss them terribly.

When the marriage broke down, my ex-wife, who is a former police officer, accused me of rape and of abusing the children. I was arrested by the police at my flat and bailed under investigation, although the charges against me were dismissed as they were quite obviously fabricated.

My ex-wife then made it clear that she would make these same allegations and more against me in the civil court if I applied for access to the children. In Britain, the civil court comes to a decision based on the 'balance of probability' rather than being 'beyond reasonable doubt' so 51% probability is enough to find you guilty. There is also no jury, just a judge. In other words, it's one person's judgement on one day that decides your fate.

My wife is a consummate liar, she has alienated the children against me, and repeated her malicious allegations to neighbours, (former) friends, social services, the children's school and anybody else who will listen. It is also clear that her family will testify against me. So, all in all, I have been placed in a very dangerous situation.

Some people would say I should still fight it but, should I lose, I would also be dismissed from my work (I am a university professor). The net result would be: no job, no prospect of another job, reputation ruined forever, no money, and still no access the children.

So, it's been very difficult but, after much agonising, I have decided not to pursue access.

Painful to read, I feel for you brother as I too have been the victim of extreme parental alienation, which went on to become complete estrangement. It's a tough road that can leave deep scars, so I wish you strength and hope that someday your kids will be wise enough to look past the ex's influences and see you for who you are. Their father.

Best.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

Let's look at becoming a first time father at 40 and what it entails for a man.

From a biological standpoint, we can impregnate women at that age. A 40 year old man's sperm quality is lower than his 25 or 30 year old self, but it's still good enough to cause pregnancy. Older sperm is more likely to contain deficiencies. The solution to this is to have a partner that is substantially younger. It is best for a 40 year old man to have a partner 10+ years younger if he's having kids at 40 to minimize chances of complicated pregnancies and birth defects. One of the few 40 year old men I know in-person who became a first time father had a wife who was 32 at the time of birth. 32 was 8 years younger, which is close to 10 and that's still borderline risky.

There are more practical lifestyle reasons why older fatherhood is less than ideal.

There are a couple of considerations around physical health.

An older man isn't as able to handle the physical rigors of infancy and toddlerhood as easily as a younger man. If there are nights where sleep quantity is reduced due to a child's needs, that's more difficult to cope with at 40 as compared to 25 or 30. That could affect his ability to do his job, which is an important consideration for a parent.

An older man isn't able to keep up with his younger child as easily. It's less than ideal for a 45-50 year old man to try to keep up with his 5-10 year old child or children. That impacts the memories that an older father can make with his children. It's nice for a father to be able to play sports with his son or daughter.

The biggest issue with a 40 year old man having a child becomes money and financial planning. When a 40 year old man has a child, he's not an empty nester until 58 (if that's his only child). If his child goes to college, he might at least partially fund that and the burden of that would extend to 62-63 years old. That will impact retirement planning. That also assumes that a man can retire on his own terms, which is a faulty assumption as I'll show below. However, even for men who are fortunate enough to retire on their own terms, having financially dependent children (even financially dependent adult children) after age 55-60 is not the wisest of financial decisions and can delay retirement.

Additionally, most men do not retire voluntarily. The majority of people experience involuntary retirement and that typically occurs somewhere between ages 50-65. For white collar workers, involuntary retirement takes on the form of job loss after 50 and the inability to get hired for similar white collar work after that. For blue collar workers, involuntary retirement takes on the form of a man who is physically unable to do his job due to injuries and overall physical condition. It's not good be to a 55 year old man with a 13 and 15 year old still at home when you're experiencing involuntary retirement.

Also realize that most men who get laid off during the 50-65 age range are also more likely to get divorced or dumped too. However, a man in his 50s who gets laid off and is forced into early retirement as likely to get divorced from his similarly aged wife because a 50 something woman has fewer options for longer term relationships out there. A man who is 25-44 years old who loses his job is a much higher risk candidate for dumping due to unemployment. Girlfriends are more likely to dump than wives. When a 32 year old man loses his job, his highly in-demand 30 year old girlfriend is far more likely to dump.

For the reasons above, I think it is best for men to have either have children or adopt children between ages 25-35. Men 25-35 are healthier and can raise them to adulthood without significant financial impact.

Wtf 40 year old men do you know? I know 40 year old men that can run laps around 20 year olds

 

[Westminster]

Painful to read, I feel for you brother as I too have been the victim of extreme parental alienation, which went on to become complete estrangement. It's a tough road that can leave deep scars, so I wish you strength and hope that someday your kids will be wise enough to look past the ex's influences and see you for who you are. Their father.

Best.

Thank you, my friend. Your support is much appreciated

 

[VirtuousD]

@_sideways_

i think Donald Trump had his latest son Barron when he was 60?

When you are wealthy af it doesn't really matter what age you have kids lol

 

[Slowhandluke]

When you are wealthy af it doesn't really matter what age you have kids lol

Tell that to wealthy 60 year old women who don't have any more eggs.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Yes, I do miss them terribly.

When the marriage broke down, my ex-wife, who is a former police officer, accused me of rape and of abusing the children. I was arrested by the police at my flat and bailed under investigation, although the charges against me were dismissed as they were quite obviously fabricated.

My ex-wife then made it clear that she would make these same allegations and more against me in the civil court if I applied for access to the children. In Britain, the civil court comes to a decision based on the 'balance of probability' rather than being 'beyond reasonable doubt' so 51% probability is enough to find you guilty. There is also no jury, just a judge. In other words, it's one person's judgement on one day that decides your fate.

My wife is a consummate liar, she has alienated the children against me, and repeated her malicious allegations to neighbours, (former) friends, social services, the children's school and anybody else who will listen. It is also clear that her family will testify against me. So, all in all, I have been placed in a very dangerous situation.

Some people would say I should still fight it but, should I lose, I would also be dismissed from my work (I am a university professor). The net result would be: no job, no prospect of another job, reputation ruined forever, no money, and still no access the children.

So, it's been very difficult but, after much agonising, I have decided not to pursue access.

You did the right thing, the kids might come around a couple of years down the road when they find out about the ****ty character of their mother.

**** like this is bringing "unstable" men to sending their (ex-)wifes to afterlife. The arrogance and ignorance of a lot of women is often their downfall and then everyone crys "femicide" and "how could that happen".

Hollywood and society made women think they are invincible with the legal system behind them, not wasting a thought on how a man that thinks he has nothing to lose can fvck them up for good in seconds.

 

[VirtuousD]

Tell that to wealthy 60 year old women who don't have any more eggs.

I meant men ofc

 

[Westminster]

You did the right thing, the kids might come around a couple of years down the road when they find out about the ****ty character of their mother.

**** like this is bringing "unstable" men to sending their (ex-)wifes to afterlife. The arrogance and ignorance of a lot of women is often their downfall and then everyone crys "femicide" and "how could that happen".

Hollywood and society made women think they are invincible with the legal system behind them, not wasting a thought on how a man that thinks he has nothing to lose can fvck them up for good in seconds.

I have no doubt that my former wife wanted to provoke a dramatic confrontation. Some of the things that she said and did would anger a saint and I'm sure se thought I'd just lose my sh1t at some stage and get me involved in an explosive scene where would enable her to paint me as a deranged monster; call the cops on me; get me locked up. I'm pretty sure that was part of the plan.