Having kids at 40 yrs old

[Westminster]

Congrats. And now currently...are you active? Still "keeping up"?

Physically, I am fitter than I have ever been (although not as strong) so I can do everything I could in my 20s and 30s in terms of running about and 'keeping up'. I am divorced now though and unfortunately my ex-wife stopped me seeing the kids two years ago. They're now 15 and 12.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Physically, I am fitter than I have ever been (although not as strong) so I can do everything I could in my 20s and 30s in terms of running about and 'keeping up'. I am divorced now though and unfortunately my ex-wife stopped me seeing the kids two years ago. They're now 15 and 12.

So sorry to hear that, you must miss them terribly. How could she stop you from seeing your children?

I divorced December 2016, when my kids were 6 & 9. They live with me mainly, with the ex on weekends.

 

[Westminster]

So sorry to hear that, you must miss them terribly. How could she stop you from seeing your children?

I divorced December 2016, when my kids were 6 & 9. They live with me mainly, with the ex on weekends.

Yes, I do miss them terribly.

When the marriage broke down, my ex-wife, who is a former police officer, accused me of rape and of abusing the children. I was arrested by the police at my flat and bailed under investigation, although the charges against me were dismissed as they were quite obviously fabricated.

My ex-wife then made it clear that she would make these same allegations and more against me in the civil court if I applied for access to the children. In Britain, the civil court comes to a decision based on the 'balance of probability' rather than being 'beyond reasonable doubt' so 51% probability is enough to find you guilty. There is also no jury, just a judge. In other words, it's one person's judgement on one day that decides your fate.

My wife is a consummate liar, she has alienated the children against me, and repeated her malicious allegations to neighbours, (former) friends, social services, the children's school and anybody else who will listen. It is also clear that her family will testify against me. So, all in all, I have been placed in a very dangerous situation.

Some people would say I should still fight it but, should I lose, I would also be dismissed from my work (I am a university professor). The net result would be: no job, no prospect of another job, reputation ruined forever, no money, and still no access the children.

So, it's been very difficult but, after much agonising, I have decided not to pursue access.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Yes, I do miss them terribly.

So, it's been very difficult but, after much agonising, I have decided not to pursue access.

Sorry to hear that. I wish you strength.

 

[_sideways_]

You cant counter sue for defamation?
Obviously the towns people know her game

 

[Westminster]

You cant counter sue for defamation?
Obviously the towns people know her game

Sure I can. But basically that entails putting myself on trial for the alleged offences because her defence would be that what she is telling the truth. Again, 51%, balance of probability, no jury.

Then if I win I get very little compensation as here main asset is the family home and no judge is going to make her sell that and make the kids homeless to compensate me (I wouldn't want that either).

You have to realise that the law - especially civil law - is not fair, especially when it comes to men v women.

Harsh reality is that ultimately a woman can throw as much mud at you as you like and get away with it. So be VERY careful who you marry.

For every johnny Depp case there are 1000 men who get screwed over. That's what she wants.

 

[Slowhandluke]

The law gives women no accountability but every avenue to act on their emotions.

Sure I can. But basically that entails putting myself on trial for the alleged offences because her defence would be that what she is telling the truth. Again, 51%, balance of probability, no jury.

Then if I win I get very little compensation as here main asset is the family home and no judge is going to make her sell that and make the kids homeless to compensate me (I wouldn't want that either).

You have to realise that the law - especially civil law - is not fair, especially when it comes to men v women.

Harsh reality is that ultimately a woman can throw as much mud at you as you like and get away with it. So be VERY careful who you marry.

For every johnny Depp case there are 1000 men who get screwed over. That's what she wants.

 

[Westminster]

Also, having your arse dragged through the courts by a woman is hugely humiliating. She gets to lie, cry and accuse you of whatever she wants. The judge effectively becomes the head of the household, you're like a kid in front of the headmaster at school.

But you're playing for seriously high stakes - your kids, your career, your reputation, your home, your pension, everything you've ever earned.

Believe me, its not where you want to be. It will cause you a lot of damage, financially and emotionally - and that's even if you win (which you probably wont).

 

[_sideways_]

Damn

 

[Kaburahn]

Many of my friends had kids in their 40s, and they've shared both the joys and challenges that come with it.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

As far as I'm concerned anybody who wants kids should have them before the age of 30. Humanity is devolving fast and the rates of birth defects and inheritable chronic disease are going up due to environmental pollution, GMOs and additives in foods, and the efforts of the government to delibrately sabotage the health of the people in order to keep them down. These days, having kids even after age 30 is dangerous

 

[VirtuousD]

As far as I'm concerned anybody who wants kids should have them before the age of 30. Humanity is devolving fast and the rates of birth defects and inheritable chronic disease are going up due to environmental pollution, GMOs and additives in foods, and the efforts of the government to delibrately sabotage the health of the people in order to keep them down. These days, having kids even after age 30 is dangerous

source?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

When I'm 50 I'm gonna have kids with a younger woman, I do not plan to have kids with a woman above the age of 30 at any age.

With this being said, I work in developmental disabilities and know many young families who have kids with autism, a woman I used to know was 23 with 4 kids who all had it, all with different men, the odds are Friggin astronomical, but there it is all the same.

The real truth is that age is only a small part of this were able to quantify so we cling to the only rational thing about this that we can, but we really don't understand all the factors at play here, but to put all your stock onto age alone is... Maybe not ignorant but short sighted, there are other factors at play, new developments every day, just try to stay current with them is all you can do.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

source?

Isn't any pregnancy over age 30 considered geriatric anyway? Either way I would consider a woman having kids after 30 to be unethical in some respects.

 

[SW15]

Isn't any pregnancy over age 30 considered geriatric anyway?

Geriatric pregnancy is defined at pregnancy after a woman's 35th birthday.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Geriatric pregnancy is defined at pregnancy after a woman's 35th birthday.

30 is still pushing it tho

 

[VirtuousD]

30 is still pushing it tho

Not really, even at 35 it's not exactly massively dangerous for all of them just riskier. Although yes it is delusional for women to think they have loads of time at 30.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Not really, even at 35 it's not exactly massively dangerous for all of them just riskier. Although yes it is delusional for women to think they have loads of time at 30.

With the general trend that humanity is devolving and that the rate of birth defects and chronic disease on the rise, having kids in the present day is a huge risk regardless of age, now that I think about it. People are getting dumber and dumber and ever more sickly and ever less physically capable. The life expentancy in the US is actually going down right now too. Also read something somewhere that said in the next 30 years or something more than half of children born in the world will be autistic. Can't remember where I saw that tho

 

[ThisIsSparta]

No kid wants people calling you Grandpa

Call me grandpa, I'll kill ya! - Coub

Created by Uncle Waldo's Workshop. Open and watch this coub with all the loops!

coub.com

I became a father with 39 and when i am 50 i am still gonna kick 95% of gen. snowflakes ass in every aspect of life.


@_sideways_
That said...... there is a physical strain on you as a dad but as long as you are physical fit, the sky is the limit. Just take Stallone as a role model, this guy is an inspiration. Personally i wouldnt go past 55 and not with a woman past 35.

 

[SW15]

Not really, even at 35 it's not exactly massively dangerous for all of them just riskier. Although yes it is delusional for women to think they have loads of time at 30.

Accurate. Pregnancy from 35-39 is riskier but many women 35-39 have delivered healthy babies.

If a man is 40 years old and wants kids, it is best if his girlfriend/wife is 10+ years younger.