having "feelings"

[bluejay83]

Hi all.
hew guy here.


I dated this woman (5'8 and gorgeous blonde) for 3 months this year.

She asked me out after I played the "push-pull" game for a couple weeks.
unfortunately I turned beta, had feelings and expressed them too early.
she friend-zoned me & we stayed friends. I stopped the nice guy stuff and just did what I wanted but still hungout with her regularly.

after a few weeks she was at my house as usual, she slid over and started cuddling me again... so we got back together.

after 6 weeks I was really falling for again, and expressed too much emotion, told her i thought the world of her etc... all she said was "thank you".
The next day she dumped me.
(lol, i could kick myself)

I proceeded to take it well... but didn't contact her until she initiated.

We share the same social circle, and see eachother regularly in our friend group.
One day her friend from overseas was visiting her, and it was VERY clear this friend approved of me as a match for this woman.

since then she has been coming over to talk to me when she sees me, inviting me to her house, cooking me dinner, offering to babysit my kids. She gave me food, and some other small gifts the other day too when she came over. So, i think she's starting to want me again.

I, however am not going to rush to her, if she doesn't make all the moves & ask me for a relationship i'm not going to either. I know that would be the final nail in the coffin.

I really want this girl.
she's a definite keeper and not your run of the mill, every day slut.

Pros:
lots - she ticks all my boxes in what I have wanted
never drinks or smokes, has a good sensible head on her shoulders
I don't think she's even slept with someone since her divorce.

Cons:
not very affectionate, slightly emotionally distant/cold
she's possibly not going to cope with the stress of taking on a few kids if it gets that far. I have full custody of my kids & the ex lives in another city.
(this woman has no kids, but is fairly good with them.. i've seen better)


what do?
is this a doomed relationship, seeing as we've broken up & gotten together?
How can I move on, i really do want her.
maybe I just want what I can't have because I've never really been dumped.. always been the dumper. (srs) She's also the hottest girl i've ever had.







Cliffs:
-dated hottest girl in my life for 3 months
-i turned beta & she dumped me
-won her back by going alpha again
-she accused me of being "closed off"
- I let my guard down, told her how i felt about her
-dumped me the next day via FB
-still want her
-her friend met me & approved of me as a mate for her
-i think she wants me back and is cooking for me, and inviting me over, giving me things, initiating texts

Is this a lost cause?

 

[bluejay83]

so, nothing eh' ?

 

[PlayHer Man]

Go NO CONTACT and stay NO CONTACT.

Here is why --> You have already lost the game.

Once you go beta faggot there is really no getting out of it UNLESS you achieve true indifference. But you clearly have oneitis with this girl and think she is "special". Therefore, you are now her SLAVE and have no power in the relationship whatsoever.

Women are not attracted to men who have no better options. Once they know they're your best option they take advantage of it. She will exploit you however she can and dump you AGAIN once you no longer bare fruit (or she meets someone better).

This relationship has peaked and the best times are over. Now its just a slow and steady decline into beta faggot pain and abuse.

This is the harsh reality --> She is not attracted to you anymore. She is just exploiting you now.

Women are masters of the "fade away". They don't like to end relationships FAST. They gradually destroy them.

 

[Sneevox]

You live and you learn.
What did you learn from this experience?

Ask yourself that.

 

[VladPatton]

The more you read this site, the more you'll notice that once you go Beta on her, it is very, very hard to redeem yourself. Implementing DJ tactics now, is too late in a sense. She already saw the Beta side, unfortunately. The whole idea of what everyone talks about on this site boils down to one thing: control. Once you loose it, you LOOSE it.

You may need to experiment with a few different tactics to slowly reset your situation, and this means to give plenty of time. Be busy, be indifferent, let her know you don't have time, even büllṣhit that you're out on dates, all the while being friendly only when needed with her. If SHE mentions she went out with guys, say "cool", don't get butthurt. Basically 360 yourself. For now, just chill the fück out and be cool with things.

Perhaps then she'll realize she had you all wrong and her hamster will spin a little as to what happened with you. This of course is no guarantee.

Try it out, let us know. Good luck.

 

[bluejay83]

all truth guys..



since posting I have watched a few videos & done some reading.

I realise i fukt up, but I've learned:
-never show more emotion than she does, or before she does
-she's not special until she makes herself special
-always be the leader, in every aspect



the funny thing is,
a couple weeks ago I was sitting talking to her friend.
She picked up a chair, moved it inbetween us & then started talking to me.
(lol)
it seems she doesn't want me but won't share me.

I need to remove myself from her life & quit being her emotional tampon.

I can't do "no contact" as we have the same circle of friends, and see eachother once or twice a week socially.. but I have resolved not to invite her over, or initiate any conversation. (small town)

If she comes to me or initiates I'll be cordial but won't run at her beck & call. If she wants a relationship she's going to haveto literally beg for it.
infact I'l increase my social circle, in front of her, with other women.

1. that will open more date opportunities for me
2. she can see other women are interested in me

ps.
I did date another girl since we broke-up.. i knew it wouldn't work out with her but went out just to prove to myself I could get more women.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

She's dropped you twice. This isn't Baseball. Don't give her 3 strikes. Use the mistakes you made with this woman and apply that knowledge to the next Miss Right.

 

[Sandow]

What makes you think she won't dump your a$$ again? It's like putting spoiled milk back in the fridge hoping it'll be all fine tomorrow. The reason why she came back to you is because you are exploitable and weak. You are her most convenient option at the time. I 100% guarantee you she'll drop you faster than macho man randy savage should you decide to get back together again. Guaranteed.

 

[like2jam]

not very affectionate, slightly emotionally distant/cold

That's enough right there to move on. Trust me, this never changes and it really sucks later on down the road. Find a gal who is naturally affectionate with you. It will make things better in the long run.