Having children

[tsarbomb]

We've all heard the horror stories about married men getting fvcked over in a divorce. And that's why I'm opposed to marriage. But eventually, I want to have kids of my own. So there is a little dilemma here for the guy who wants to have children: either have kids in a marriage and risk getting your life ruined, or stay single and keep your DNA to yourself.

So if a guy wants to procreate, what's he to do? Ideas, gentlemen?

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

This is my only "catch" with women now. A catch-22, to be sure.

As contemptuous as I am regarding the modern state of marriage and societal conventions, I face the quandry that for what I am building in my life, I need male heirs. I am picking up what was dropped when my grandfather died 30 years ago, and I need boys to carry my flag into the future. Without them, I'll have to find some ruthlessly ambitious young man like myself to ride my coattails...perhaps I am making trouble for myself, perhaps not...do the older gents have a take on this?

 

[MatureDJ]

Probably the best thing to do is to go to Eastern Europe and raise a family there. This is my plan once I get past my bankruptcy.

 

[grinder]

I have 4 kids and am twice divorced. Neither marriage nor divorce ruins your life. Like all things…..you know the answer here…..YOU DO! It’s all on you. You are ultimately responsible for all things that happen to you.

As with any major business or legal endeavor use caution, prepare, protect yourself……and…..leap!

It’s true though, I had to use guile and cunning in my last divorce to win custody of my kids, but I did it with careful strategizing and a good lawyer.

My kids are excellent and I’m so glad I had them. To me, it’s been well worth the effort and legal fees.

And hell, you never know, you might just accidentally wind up happily married. It can happen. I had a good marriage for about 10 years

 

[( . )( . )]

We've all heard the horror stories about married men getting fvcked over in a divorce. And that's why I'm opposed to marriage. But eventually, I want to have kids of my own. So there is a little dilemma here for the guy who wants to have children: either have kids in a marriage and risk getting your life ruined, or stay single and keep your DNA to yourself.

So if a guy wants to procreate, what's he to do? Ideas, gentlemen?

I know loads of people who have had kids out of wedlock. Why is marriage your only option to have kids? I wasnt married and I got phucked over just fine. I wouldnt be putting too much stock into the fact you will be "safe" if you dont get married.

1: Marry someone you aren't gonna divorce.

2: Don't get divorced

I vaguely remember you posting retarded sh!t years ago, good to see nothings changed.

 

[ChumpNoMore]

Grinder, I'd appreciate hearing your tips on how you prepared for / mitigated divorce and custody issues.

 

[Warrior74]

We've all heard the horror stories about married men getting fvcked over in a divorce. And that's why I'm opposed to marriage. But eventually, I want to have kids of my own. So there is a little dilemma here for the guy who wants to have children: either have kids in a marriage and risk getting your life ruined, or stay single and keep your DNA to yourself.

So if a guy wants to procreate, what's he to do? Ideas, gentlemen?

I love my kid, she's the best thing in my life, her mother...no so much. If you really want kids marriage is the best place to raise them for the kid's sake. Wait until you find a woman you want to marry. If you are against marriage...don't have kids IMO. If you find that you still want children, get custody and hire a nanny/house keeper. Understand that kids are a game changer...you're not just in it for yourself anymore. Your time and resources will be diverted to making the best life you can for your child. I would advise you to stay single until you are sure you want children. Do everything you want to do first and fully enjoy your life. Then have kids. As a man, the good news is you can wait as long as you like. Good luck.

 

[squirrels]

Your biological clock isn't ticking. You don't have to worry about breeding before you "can't" any more. Men are still virile for some time...they don't have the same old-age fertility issues as women.

You shouldn't be thinking about "having kids". If your all-important end-goal is to procreate, it'll force you to compromise your standards to "find a woman before it's too late", and the woman you end up with will likely be sub-standard both as a mate and a mother.

Date women. Qualify them well. When you find one who you actually ENJOY the company of, who is stable and honest with you (not agenda-driven), and who you think would make a good mother if the situation arose, THEN start thinking about marriage and kids.

Until you find a woman who "fits the bill", don't worry yourself with things like children. And don't try to fool yourself into believing a substandard chick is "the one" so you can rush breeding.

Rushing to breed is how you get arse-raped in divorce court for alimony and child-support by some BPD psycho that took advantage of you because you were so needy for a legacy to make your life significant that she couldn't help but prey on you.

 

[Yahooey]

... Understand that kids are a game changer...you're not just in it for yourself anymore. ...

QFT.

and your in it for life. They are your seed and nothing will ever change that.

I have three kids from two marriages. I don't regret the marriages, despite a lot being wrong with them, because of the children. That said, I didn't get married to have children and as said above, there is no rush.

Choose the right person. someone you can trust to be a mother to your children even if things don't work out and be ready to fight tooth and nail for custody if you're wrong. I actually chose to divorce my first wife for the children's sake - I trusted her as mother and there was no reason for them to grow up in a household with a dysfunctional couple as parents.

Also, as obvious as this may sound, make sure that you are choosing your woman and not the future mother of your children. It's part of the qualifications to being your woman and not the primary qualification.

 

[Colossus]

Having children out of wedlock can impact your life as much as a divorce. Child support isn't just for divorced men.

I agree with the others that if you truly don't want to get married, you shouldn't have children. That's not the best way for a kid to grow up.

Don't rule marriage out. You may meet a woman someday that is so compatible with you and your ideals that getting married is just a natural by-product of your synergy and how much you like each other.

 

[tsarbomb]

We have conflicting advice... some people are opposed to getting married (with good reason!) and some say it may be worth it sometimes...

I would like to hear the perspective of men who have been married for a relatively long time and been able to make it work... that's the kind of information that can help not me, but many posters on this board.

Or lawyers. They know the law better than everyone else, and they can offer valuable advice...

 

[penkitten]

you could always find some lesbo that also wants a baby, and just have a baby with her. that way everyone wins.

 

[DJDamage]

you could always find some lesbo that also wants a baby, and just have a baby with her. that way everyone wins.

I think its not as simple as that.

Lets face it, evolution did not condition men to be a diaper changing, breast feeding and chasing kids around archetype, that role went to women. Men got the fewer but bigger roles such as ensuring the family doesn't go hungry and protecting it from harm. This is the type of role men want to be (the head of the family) and today 50-50 feminism verbatim does not work because women will naturally take over.

Somewhere down the line Men became this:

http://babywearing.wallypop.net/images/pouch/pouch-a-300.jpg (Cue silent scream)

and women became this:
http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/57/00/22850057.jpg

and when traditional roles that were bestow upon us by evolution changed due to social pressures then this is the result:

http://www.funny-potato.com/images/divorce-cake.jpg