Having a Positive Attitude

[backbreaker]

This happened about a month ago. So I drive a 2012 Jaguar XJL. My car started acting up on a Monday and I took it to the shop and I found out what is wrong with it isn't covered under warranty so I got to drop 1200 dollars to get it fixed. Mind you I have the 1200 dollars. I already paid the 1200 dollars. Yet I'm pissed off.

So that wednesady was the day of the week I go to my NA meeting. So I'm driving my other car, which is an older lexus es300 that I generally just run errands and stuff in, go to the gym in, throw miles on etc. it's my knockaround car. lol> i have a knock around car that's nicer than a lot of people's regular cars.

Anyway my point in all that is not to brag. Ny point is to say, I saw a guy who I goes to the meetings with me and he was walking to the meeting. like, backpack on my back hey I'm walking somewhere, lol. And this dude is pretty upbeat. I stop and give him a ride.

I'm like.. so what's up, what happened today to make you so happy. He was like, I'm alive and I'm not high, what the **** do I have to be mad about lol?


Here I am pissed off that I'm having to drive my older car and I can't drive my regular car and this dude doesn't have a car, and he's as happy as he can be. I'm going to go home to a wonderful wife in a 4 bedroom house and a son, hes' going to go to an apartment he's sharing with 2 other dudes. Yet this dude is having a better day than I am.


That **** really hit home with me.

We talk about it on this forum all the time, "how do you have the not give a **** attitude". You get it by not allowing people, or things or places to alter your moods

See it works both ways. It's not about not giving a ****, it's about being outcome dependant versus process dependent. I know better. I just don't do better. This guy is going to meetings, he's doing what he knows he needs to do and what happens, just happens.

IF you allow yourself to become happy becuase a woman is having sex with you, the natural reaction is to become sad when a woman is not having sex with you.

If you allow yourself to be happy if you start to make a lot of money, the natural reaction is to become sad when you don't make money.

If you allow yourself to be happy when you have a bunch of buddies and friends, the natrual reaction is to be sad when no one picks up hte phone.

the key is not "being alpha and not giving a ****". lol it's not like there is a give a **** switch and you can just flip it.

the key is not getting your happiness and self worth from those things in the first place.

But then that poses a good question.

If I'm not getting my self esteem from


1., women
2. cars
3. clothes
4. money


then where the **** do I get happiness?


That's a good question yet it's one with a false premise. Happiness is not soething you GET. It'a aSTATE OF MIND.

you CHOSE to be happy. you CHOOSE ot get your happiness from sex, from money, from cars, from green stars next to your name on this forum. You CHOSE to be bitter and angry over women, over politics, over whatever.


When I can do the things I care about.. eat healthy, work out, watch my horse racing and run my business, listen to a little bit of jazz music, Thats what I want to do on a daily basis so that's what I do and it makes me happy.

 

[Warrior74]

If I'm not getting my self esteem from


1., women
2. cars
3. clothes
4. money


then where the **** do I get happiness?

I have none of those things and I have zero happiness. But back when I had those things I wasn't happy all the time either. Happiness is a temporary sensation. Self Esteem? What is that? I have none of that ****. In 100 years 99% of us will be forgotten. In 200 I'd say all but .001 of humans alive now will be remembered. Fvck self esteem. All singing, all dancing crap of the world bro.

I have a negative attitude. I am a pessimist. I have always been one. There is no such thing as luck only misfortune and the lack there of. Everything is ****ed up. I am always angry. I hate you all. I'm still polite and social, but I have no warm fuzzies inside. Somehow, I've banged over 50 girls while being this way. Dark Triad traits? Aloof sarcastic areshole? Maybe.

You stay positive. I'll keep waiting for it to all fall apart like it always does. I've tried choosing to be happy. It's usually the hubris that brings more pain into my life. Fvck happy. I get to be happy when I'm dead. Until then I'll just soldier on waiting for the end.

 

[Alvafe]

well to keep it simple your guy was comming from a worse place so he is feeling better with himself, he was seeing his life getting better, you BB was a little worse then you started like a week ago so you feelling down.

that is the normal thing having ups and downs is part of being alive, being happy as being sad is temporary, i'm all up for never giving up and always keep fighting to get better or to fix what you belive is wrong.

 

[Warrior74]

 

[3agle 3yes]

I have a negative attitude....Somehow, I've banged over 50 girls while being this way....

You, my friend, have missed the entire point of the OP's post.

Who cares if you've still managed to bang 50 chicks while being miserable.

He never mentioned anything about it improving your chances with women...it's much more IMPORTANT than that.

Besides, that's like pretending to be happy just to bang chicks...which ISN'T HAPPINESS AT ALL.

I've said this all along people have to STOP thinking that pvssy is the be and end all...the golden treasure...the hidden manna...because it isn't.

...that is the normal thing having ups and downs is part of being alive, being happy as being sad is temporary...

Yes, but you'd be surprised how rarely many people are actually happy...negativity seems to be the human default. Most people have to actively attempt to be happy as it does not come naturally...and also the reasons that cause the happiness or sadness are the result of outside influences...which shouldn't be the case.

Life is NOT about happiness, life is about growth. And growth can only come if people struggle and are put under stress...just like muscles.

However, I believe in order to grow a person must ALWAYS have a positive attitude and that was what the OP was talking about.

 

[zekko]

We talk about it on this forum all the time, "how do you have the not give a **** attitude". You get it by not allowing people, or things or places to alter your moods

See it works both ways. It's not about not giving a ****, it's about being outcome dependant versus process dependent.

Sometimes I think there's too much emphasis on "not giving a sh!t" around here. That sends a message that you shouldn't care about anything, and that's probably not the best attitude to have. But yeah, you don't want to let other people or circumstances affect your mood.

I'm surrounded by a lot of people with negative attitudes. I try not to let it affect me. How do I do this? Because I'm thankful for what I have, and I know I will get further with a positive attitude and taking right action than I will with a negative attitude. I try to let things that don't really matter roll off my back. I have my goals and I am on my mission, so I try to keep my eyes on the prize and stick to the right path.

 

[Warrior74]

[redacted]

 

[backbreaker]

dude how you go redact your 5000ths post come on man

 

[TheShrew]

You Definitely need some skill. Anything you feel compelled to will work. Consumerism/Materialism is a womans realm which got squeezed onto the masses through marketing and the female imperative.

The only thing a man needs is his mind. His ability to create or compete in something.

Thats why so many young men play video games.

 

[Phxxx]

well to keep it simple your guy was comming from a worse place so he is feeling better with himself, he was seeing his life getting better, you BB was a little worse then you started like a week ago so you feelling down.

that is the normal thing having ups and downs is part of being alive, being happy as being sad is temporary, i'm all up for never giving up and always keep fighting to get better or to fix what you belive is wrong.

Life is NOT about happiness, life is about growth. And growth can only come if people struggle and are put under stress...just like muscles.However, I believe in order to grow a person must ALWAYS have a positive attitude and that was what the OP was talking about.

A lot of people everywhere ( Including myself ) tend to forget one of the most basic ideologies in life is yin yang.

We must take the good with the bad. Its just the natural balance of things (tragedy, events, health issues, raises in pay or a boom in your business).

Im not questioning what your beliefs are here, but mine are that of a much larger Universal Power. With that being said I believe that your mindset IS the most inportant aspect in being successful in anything you achieve.

For every powerful and enpowering mindset you hold there will be 10 (maybe dozens?) of people with the mindset of an equally (damaging even?) mindset against themselves.With said negative mindsets and poor beliefs (dark energy), the opposite must be transfered. This polar opposite energy(good/light energy) has to be transfered to keep the natural balance of the universal power.


Wanted to share and maybe even give some members a different outlook on things.