Having a hard time making this one girl reach climax

[Laszlo]

Hi guys,

hope to get some help with this delicate issue. This new girl that I've been dating for about two months now is having quite a hard time coming. It would make sense if I were new to this, but I've never had problems making girls come before and I don't doubt the fact that I'm a great lover. We have a great sex life, we both have strong sex drives, hers is even stronger than mine. We have sex 2-3 times almost every day, everywhere and in all imaginable positions - but only once have I been able to make her reach climax since we started dating. We talked about this and she actually never came with a guy before, which is, I guess, both good and bad news. She doesn't have any problems making herself come when she's alone, so I guess this is more a psychological issue than anything.

I think it has to do with the fact that she still needs some time to be able to really let go and open up. She is very cautious with relationships and she needs time before she's able to fully trust people, especially guys. I also just recently came out of a two year relationship, and things with this girl have been progressing pretty quick after that. She is very well aware of my earlier LTR, and I believe she's still not entirely convinced of the fact that she's not just a re-bound girl to me.

This whole thing has yet not been an issue for us, because she's clearly enjoying our sex life just as much as I do - probably even more so. She is confident that this will pass, and that soon enough she'll be able to climax with me. If she doesn't, I'm afraid it will turn into a huge problem, not only because she's not able to reach climax, but also because sooner or later it will get in my head (clearly it's already getting there) - and I guess all of you guys know the feeling of not being able to fully satisfy your girl. Am I right?

So, who's been in this situation before, that might have some valuable insight?

 

[Atom Smasher]

Obviously, if what she says is true, the problem is with her, not you.

Can't she stimulate herself while doing the deed with you?

 

[dj_china]

read she comes first

 

[bugsquish]

I used to worry about this. But every woman I've been with is so different that it doesn't really matter so much. I've found some girls can come just from intercourse (and if you get one, she's a keeper!), but others need quite a lot of stimulation (which can actually be a bit of a chore in a LTR). Mostly having ONSs or FBs these days, and if a girl can come within a reasonable amout of effort then great. If most of them can, then the issue is with the ones who can't. If a girl actually tells me that she can't usually/ever come then I don't sweat it. She can still enjoy the journey without needing to get to the destination. Don't take it personally and don't let it interfere with your pride. Certainly making a big deal about it is not going to help the cause.

 

[Mr. White]

Oh yeah, one of the best gals I ever knew just couldn't get there. She was a petite little thing with a canal way shorter and tighter than my member. No question that I was the best guy who ever came her way. For years, I'd flock her brains out, over and over, but always had to go down to get her to finish. She had no problem climaxing with ten or so "uhh"s in a row, not one of those neurotic types who can barely whine out the start of one before suppressing herself. Eventually I moved out of Washington to New York and didn't take her with me. I had something deeper and wider to sow.

Don't let it become a self-esteem issue for either one of you. If you're feeling rotten about it, date some other women until you make one come the usual way.

 

[Laszlo]

Just want to update you on what's been happening. Things have been progressing and our sex is getting better by every day. It's always been good but the more we get comfortable with each other 1) the easier she can come 2) the better I get to know her weak spots.

She still isn't able to to come every single time, but she comes more and more often. She seems to be fine about it too, just as bugsquish mentioned, she does not have to reach climax every time to be able to enjoy it. Last weekend I made her squirt repeatedly while having sex in public - she apparently never came this way, and she was convinced she couldn't do it. That gave me an ego boost, because I could give my previous GF fountain orgasms repeatedly without even trying.

Also, I would really recommend everybody to read/listen to David Shade - Bring out her inner slut. His stuff has really made me realize a lot about sex that is considered taboo and that you think she would not be into. I'm much more comfortable bringing out not only my sexual desires, but also my partners, and it literally makes her go crazy. However, don't try it on women you're not committed staring an LTR with because she will not be able to let you go. I kid you not. Download it, buy it, I don't care. It's worth every penny. Let me just say this; Women are dirty animals with dirty little minds, and I love it.