Having a bisexual girlfriend

[ahh69]

Okay guys, need a little advice.

My girlfriend and I have been together only about 4 months now and she's told me that she's bi-curious (been with a girl once) and wanted to know if I was keen to have 3somes with her and someone sometime. So naturally I'm like "yea sure" and we've set on our way to find another girl.

Now she's been talking to this girl from off the net and has gotten to a point where she thinks she wants to meet her. She comes out about at this time saying to me that she'd also like to play alone with her at times as well. Now firstly (would anyone else here have a problem with this?). Kind of feels like cheating but kind of not. She'll tell me about it before she does etc but I just don't know. It's an intimate thing and I think being that its early days in her curiosity, there is I feel infact a chance that she might like to date a girl sometime per say. Now I don't know where that leaves me exactly or whether its really a problem at all.

I've been a little uncomfortable with the whole idea of not being there (on occasions) when its going down and I've told her that I'd be a whole lot more comfortable if we've done it together first and we've both got to know the girl first and she seemed to be fine with that.

I'm just wondering how other guys out there would feel or whether this is one of those times where I should just sit back and say "Yeeehhaaaa!" but there is always that chance that she might want to take things further along with a girl.

Would she be better off having 1 night stands opposed to actually making friends with another bisexual girl? She wants us to be friends with this other girl (which is cool in my mind), but what happens if she starts to get emotionally involved with her. Any advice?

 

[shredhead7]

My ex pulled that **** on me. At first I was like you, yeah, three somes, hell, I'll even just watch. Then once she found someone, her tune was, no it's just a me thing, sorry. Once it crossed that line, I was like f' that. Her reply, well, you can hook up with a guy if you want. Yeah, because you know that's going to happen! Long story short, she hooked up with the girl a few times, it pissed me off, she then when on to bang other dudes.

Moral: sex is sex, cheating is cheating, once a cheater, always a cheater.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...She wants us to be friends with this other girl (which is cool in my mind), but what happens if she starts to get emotionally involved with her. Any advice?

Are you saying that she's untrustworthy by default or that you don't know whether or not you can trust her? Why do you feel that could become emotionally involved with this other woman if she's with you?

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Alhough this one sounds complicated its not. Your options:

1) go along with it and maybe get some 3 some action, but do stick to your guns and if she does hook up with this girl be there the 1st time at least.

2) If you say no, she will eventually resent you for it and leave you. This may or may not be a phase she is gong through.

The only thing for certain is she wants to spend time with other girl (s). You CANT stop this.

Some tips:

Enjoy and dont get attatched to this chick, because she is not going to be too attatched to you at the moment. She is being honest and upfront about the whole thing which is good - be honest back with her but play it to your advantage where possible.

Lets face it, you want to be in there with the action too so make sure this happens.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

1. First before any of this sh!t happens you have to lay the ground rules. Such as; She has to tell you when it happens, you have to be there, it can only happen a few times, I want to be there to watch and or join in. ect... whatever rules u want to make...

2. If she doesnt agree with your ideas/rules then, it doesnt happen or compromise what will work.

3. This, is where you could get fvcked over. She may like girls better after trying, she may be more sexually open with people, maybe more likely to cheat on you and other factors..

It is GREAT your girlfriend came to ask you about this and be open with you about this. Good communication with partners usually makes a good relationship. So, you two need to figure out together what will work and what will not work.

:EDIT: Also, is she actually bisexual or just bi-curious? Cause most bisexual women hardly ever have a exclusive relationship with a male partner.

 

[D!ck Ramsey]

You are better off keeping her around as a fukkbuddy..this has disaster written all over it. Enjoy the ride, but dont invest any emotions.

 

[Ravenous]

threesome?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

threesome?

Dangerous. :nono:

http://www.ifilm.com/video/77697

 

[ahh69]

Well 3some was the original idea until she brought up the "its something I want to experience alone as well as with you". She's afraid that she mighten be able to let her hair down because she'd be constantly think about what I'm thinking.

Shredhead, agree with you about the once a cheater, always a cheater.

P.M.. Yeah, I've been thinking about that with the whole getting too attached thing and I agree with your advice. Thought about that previously.

I.A.F.Y.B. - I think she's bi-curious.. Been with a girl once before but was some time ago and she wants to revisit the experience. I believe she's been fairly honest with me (everything up front since the start) and she said she only thought about revisiting it once she was sure about us. She says I'm the kind of guy that she knows would keep it purely physical if we had a 3some and I would. I have no reason to want anyone else so all good in that department. So basically, I think she's pretty happy with us.

I think so long as its something we can experience together, then things are above board. This other girl has been calling her a fair bit of late (everyday) and she's been saying to me like 'woah, she's calling me everyday now' as though this other girl has been a bit over the top too so maybe things looking up.

 

[ValleyDJing]

Dude, let her play alone with the other chick on 2 conditions.

1. You should be able to play alone with her too!
2. When you're having the 3some, make sure they're not too focused on each other cause that s.hit sucks! Its like, if I wanted to watch two chicks going at it, I could watch porn you know? Make sure a 3some involves them being mostly interested in you.

 

[ahh69]

That first point is a very good one.. Because I've used the "if you're allowed to do it, so am I" and she goes, "yeah sure, you can go sleep with other guys" but I know if I did hyperthetically, she would end things.. She wouldn't be able to handle that but really there isn't a difference. So yeah, if she can play alone with this girl, I'm allowed to as well.

I wouldn't mind if they concentrated on each other for a few minutes here and there but if it was a continuous thing where I started feeling left out, then **** would fly.

Good points valleydjing.. cheers!

 

[ahh69]

Another point while I'm here as a precaution. Any tips on a way to up her interest level at a time like this? Any specific thoughts?

 

[Last Man Standing]

"Bi-curious"??? You are in the Homo/Hor Matrix to use such terminology!!! Do you want to come out of it?

 

[ahh69]

"Bi-curious"??? You are in the Homo/Hor Matrix to use such terminology!!! Do you want to come out of it?

Do I want to come out of it? Explain?

 

[Bvbidd]

I have never met a girl that was not at least a little bisexual. I'm serious. If you get to know them, they all have had crazy experiences with each other.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

I have never met a girl that was not at least a little bisexual. I'm serious. If you get to know them, they all have had crazy experiences with each other.

Only the ones born in the last 20 years.

 

[Maxtro]

LOL it reminds me of friends when Ross found out that his wife was bi. They started having threesomes but the two girls focused on each other ignoring him. His wife turned out to be a lesbian and they got a divorce.

If your girl wants to do a threesome then you need to compromise and set the rules before it happens. It could be really great to as bad as you taking care of yourself as you watch.

If she wants to do it alone with another chick that should be ok as long as you know in advance. You don't want her to cheat on you.