Have you ever received a heartfelt apology from a woman?

[kookdekoo]

Women will only apologize when shyte really hits the fan. Mostly after the damage is irreversible.

Agree ! Apropos my post about my LTR acting funny some time back, I had a talk with her about her increasing lack of interest in pleasing me with simple things which she wouldn't. Ended up with a massive argument. Till next time she showed disrespect and when I categorically told her that such behavior won't be tolerated. Another row. Finally, I asked her to wear a skirt I liked and she flippantly refused. I immediately broke off with her and ceased all communication. She started burning my phone. Insisted I meet her once. For me, it was already over and the best I was going to do was to demote her from an LTR to just another plate. Offering me sex ? Thank you ! But no long walks, no phone calls of 45 mins, no gifts and no vacations. It'll last till it lasts. Now, here's the thing. The last time we met and ****ed, she knew she had gone too far and she could sense my emotional withdrawl, what do I get ? A freaking non serious apology !
As you said , AFTER the **** had hit the fan and it was too late !

 

[soulforge]

Hardly ever.

The max I have had is somewhat of an admission, but rarely an actual apology.

Often they will look over/brush over what she did.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi GotNoGame,
Funnily enough the only apology I ever got was also from an An Asian
Girl,Chinese actually....She even bought be a bunch of Lilies,beat that one!

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The other thing to note is that to a woman, once she apologizes in her mind she thinks she is absolved of the behavior that caused the apology. They then begin to revise history based on it.

 

[LTG71]

Here's a standard case with my ex.

We get in a fight over something stupid, it escalates because she knows she's wrong but still tries to convince me that she's right and that I'm the one who's wrong. Then, she places the blame on me for arguing/fighting with her. So, I just turn around and leave. I'm not dealing with it. Right after, I'll usually get some "**** you!!" texts along with her still trying to convince me that she was in the right. I just ignore. I'm done with it and most likely her.

*2 to 3 days go by*

Text from her: Hey, can we talk?
Me: Sure (hoping she's going to apologize but full well knowing she's not)
She calls me.
Her: The other day.... I did this, and this and this....BUT that's because YOU did this and this....blah blah blah.
Me: *silence*
Her: Why can't we just get along?
Me: I know why.
Her: Do you want to come over and talk about it?
Me: No, but if you can give me a sincere apology over the phone right now, we can put this behind us and then I will come over.
Her: But 4 months ago YOU did blah blah blah blah.
Me: Yeah, I know. I apologized for it and I thought we moved on from it. But instead, you keep bringing it up every time you do something wrong.
Her: Yeah, but...
*silence*
Her: You're such an A$$HOLE!
Me: *click*

*1 hour goes by*

Text from Her: Okay, you're right I was wrong.
Me: *amazed she admitted that, but still waiting for an apology*
Her: Hello?
Me: Okay thank you for admitting that. So are you going to apologize?
Her: What for?? I said you were right and I was wrong.
Me: Yes, and in normal healthy communication, those words are usually proceded or followed by an apology.
Her: Why do you do this?? It's like you're just trying to be an a$$hole!!
Me: All I want is a ****ing sincere apology from you, THAT'S IT. Why can't you understand this simple ****ing thing??
Her: See, now you're getting angry. I don't even know if I want you to come over.

It's exactly like a Bill Burr skit. They just don't get it. There is something in their brains that just doesn't compute. Like has been mentioned, I have gotten a sincere apology, but it was WAY after real damage had been done.

LOL! I’ve had the same conversation. The words, “I’m sorry or apologize for doing (insert issue)“ are never said. Then they turn around and try to make you feel bad for it. When you lack logic and reason and operate purely on emotions, you can change your mind at any time.

 

[EyeBRollin]

What has your experience been? If your experience is similar why do you think that is? Why women cannot apologise?

Nope. Women are incapable of apologizing on their own volition. I’ve always had to figuratively twist their arm to get it.

It is part entitlement and part biological. Women in general do not actually believe they ever misbehave. The biological component is that women cannot survive the potentially violent consequences that come from their mistakes. Therefore, as a protective measure they avoid admitting fault as often as possible.

 

[Barrister]

I guess it depends on what you mean by "heartfelt." I have received an apology for very minor things. If you mean an apology because of their bad behavior in a relationship, yes, but ONLY when I am threatening to end the entire thing and they are scrambling to keep me in it. Then of course the tears and apologies are free-flowing - not that I think they truly are sorry for what they did so much as they don't like how they feel.

Men get into trouble thinking that women think and process information like us. They don't follow logic generally speaking, so apologizing for bad behavior is something they almost are never going to do except in extremely rare circumstances.

 

[Canadian_Man]

A breakdown of this topic:

Quick summary of the reasoning given in the video:
- Apologies matter more to men, and women don't recognize this
- Difference of perspective of what the 'problem' is ... for men, it's some poor behaviour that he believes her to be at fault for ... for women, it's that the man is upset
- Women try to make the man feel better, to try to improve his emotional state ... through various tactics, such as with sex, time, etc. ... rather than actually apologize


As for my own experiences, I've had two sort-of apologies from women, over important issues, that I can remember. None from any woman whom I was currently or previously in a LTR with.

Both involved a woman whom had wronged me in some way, and whom wanted to now try to get romantically involved with me in some capacity. Their apologies weren't all that genuine.

The first, was a women who had screwed me over, but I wasn't even aware of her actions at the time. I was interested in her friend several months prior, had asked her friend out, and this second women, whom I wasn't interested in, convinced her friend not to act on her mild-interest. I didn't know I was blocked like that. Months later, the second women drunkenly told me, I hadn't even brought up her friend, and she more or less said she did it because she was interested in me herself. She tried to take me home that night.

The second, was a woman who disrespected me in a very painful manner, and when she tried to come back to me, she beat around the bush with an apology, saying she should have handled things better. It was again very self-motivated though ... it was coming from a place of her wanting something from me. She probably understood how she messed up with me, to a degree, but I don't think she deeply understood the issue.

 

[Gamisch]

On this subject. Think about why girls hate your apologetic azz when your saying your sorry?
They know its bullshyt when they say it.

Yes this can make this a epic thread. One where we dive deeper into female psychology and actually learn shyte about them.

Somehow this is connected to why a player can get away with tons of stuff, like cheating or treating her badly. Because he operates on her level exactly. Some women will have more sympathy for a man making such mistakes than they'll have for "good guy Greg", the bluepilled beta who always follows the rules.

 

[The Duke]

During arguments with my recent ex of 4.5yrs, I told her multiple times that I didn't think "I'm sorry" was in her vocabulary. Didn't phase her. After we ended our relationship, I finally got an apology out of her and it came with tears.

Its interesting to see the same story being told here, I had no idea others had similar experiences.

I did a little research and found this video that explains what's going on:

Start at the 2:08 mark.

As men we respect those who take responsibility and are accountable for their actions. A simple apology and we are good. I think we all agree that women aren't great at this. They don't understand this about us.

However, as explained in the video, a woman's solution to the situation is to change how the man feels. Its not being accountable and offering an apology which is the language men understand. Her version of apologizing which is changing how you feel, comes in the form of doing something nice, sending you a funny meme, making you a meal, and offering sex.

My ex is not out of my house yet and we are sleeping in separate bedrooms, but in the past few weeks I have seen all sorts of nice things out from her. I was in a field on the tractor and she walked an 1/8mile to bring me a sandwich and a drink.

Twice now she has walked in on me while I was showering. She has a cute outfit on and sits down on the counter. She tells me that if I'm going to have sex with other girls, I might as well have sex with her. I declined.

The second time she tells me her feet were hurting and she read on the internet that if you have sex immediately with your ex that your foot pain will be cured. haha. I laughed and told her maybe the 3rd time will be the charm.

I also had another girl in my past that asked me to come over one late night for sex. I agreed. When I got there she wasn't in the mood for sex and I stopped trying after 10minutes then fell asleep. When I got up that morning she knew I wasn't pleased and I voiced my displeasure. She starts begging me not to leave and tries to unbutton my pants and suck my dihk in the door way for the whole world to see.

Its all bizarre and somewhat confusing/conflicting behavior, but this sheds a light on whats going on.

 

[The Duke]

A breakdown of this topic:

Quick summary of the reasoning given in the video:
- Apologies matter more to men, and women don't recognize this
- Difference of perspective of what the 'problem' is ... for men, it's some poor behaviour that he believes her to be at fault for ... for women, it's that the man is upset
- Women try to make the man feel better, to try to improve his emotional state ... through various tactics, such as with sex, time, etc. ... rather than actually apologize


As for my own experiences, I've had two sort-of apologies from women, over important issues, that I can remember. None from any woman whom I was currently or previously in a LTR with.

Both involved a woman whom had wronged me in some way, and whom wanted to now try to get romantically involved with me in some capacity. Their apologies weren't all that genuine.

The first, was a women who had screwed me over, but I wasn't even aware of her actions at the time. I was interested in her friend several months prior, had asked her friend out, and this second women, whom I wasn't interested in, convinced her friend not to act on her mild-interest. I didn't know I was blocked like that. Months later, the second women drunkenly told me, I hadn't even brought up her friend, and she more or less said she did it because she was interested in me herself. She tried to take me home that night.

The second, was a woman who disrespected me in a very painful manner, and when she tried to come back to me, she beat around the bush with an apology, saying she should have handled things better. It was again very self-motivated though ... it was coming from a place of her wanting something from me. She probably understood how she messed up with me, to a degree, but I don't think she deeply understood the issue.

Haha we both shared the same video at the same time.

 

[Canadian_Man]

Haha we both shared the same video at the same time.

Indeed, I just had a bit of a chuckle at it too.

 

[The Duke]

Whenever I have screwed up with a chic, I always apologize and sometimes have to do it multiple times because they always bring up the issue a few times. I end up saying "look, I've apologized 3 times, lets move on". But now I get that its not the language they speak. Like @stringpuller and @Gamisch mentioned, they don't perceive apologies well.

Several times after upsetting a girl, I've tried to get them to laugh. This changed their negative emotional state and was like flipping a switch. Far more effective than me offering an apology.

 

[Barrister]

Whenever I have screwed up with a chic, I always apologize and sometimes have to do it multiple times because they always bring up the issue a few times. I end up saying "look, I've apologized 3 times, lets move on". But now I get that its not the language they speak. Like @stringpuller and @Gamisch mentioned, they don't perceive apologies well.

Several times after upsetting a girl, I've tried to get them to laugh. This changed their negative emotional state and was like flipping a switch. Far more effective than me offering an apology.

I think our friend Atom Smasher had an entire thread on this. I believe he always stated a man should never apologize to a woman. Her female brain doesn't know how to process it other than as a form of weakness you are showing.

I don't think I would quite go that far. If I legitimately do something bad (which almost never happens) I will apologize to her. But I will never apologize to get along; I will never apologize to make her feel better; and I will certainly never apologize if I am being gas lighted into thinking I did something wrong when I know for a certainty I didn't. If you even begin to go down this path, you are sealing your fate in the relationship to either have constant frame wars or a breakup.

 

[itouchyou]

None from my sister, ever. She's 10 years younger than me, and in her 20s. I went traveling recently and she asked to come along, so I obliged, as a graduation gift. I booked decent hotels since she was coming along, but the only drawback was that there was one bed. So we had to share. I paid for her airfare, accommodations, food, etc. Everything.

First couple of nights she kept moving while I was trying to sleep, so I calmly told her to be still because it shook the whole bed when she moved. Keep in mind I'm not talking about shifting her body to get in a comfortable position, she was doing things like rustling her feet, scratching her arms, etc. Unnecessary movement. I was very accommodating and even bought her ear plugs just in case I snored.

Third night I finally said she's been moving for like 10 minutes and I asked her to stop because I couldn't sleep. She started at me and started to argue that it wasn't 10 minutes. Finally, I said ok how about I'll sleep on the floor tonight, and tomorrow you can sleep on the floor. Fair compromise right?

She gets up, takes her blanket, and goes and sleeps sitting up on a chair. Next day ditches me to go do her own things. The next night she again sleeps on the chair.

In hindsight it was hilarious because I got great sleep and she looked like an overreactive retard. Still, it annoyed me that I had to deal with that on my trip.

Never once did she thank me for taking her on the trip, and now she's being passive aggressive. Took an uber yesterday and offered to lift her suitcase into the trunk, she did it herself. Offered to buy her dessert today at her favorite place because I was going, and she declined. She never declined when I pulled out my wallet to pay for things though.

**** modern women. I'm cutting her off for good, she's just not worth the trouble.

 

[corrector]

Not as portrayed by this music video which presents an ideal gold standard for heartfelt apology.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hi Cyrus,
Sociological studies show to apologise is to give the impression of needing punishment...
Years ago Churchill said "Never apologise,never explain"....Our Old Queen made this her Golden Rule and she knew a thing or two.

Aside from having the good fortune of being on the winning side of WWII, Churchill was a highly overrated politician, IMHO. He was a sellout and an opportunist, having crossed the floor not once but twice. Churchill wasn’t much better than the politicians of today and is not someone I’d look up to when it comes to questions of decency and morality.

There is nothing wrong with apologizing, as long as you actually mean it (i.e. you acknowledge that you did something wrong and hurt the person you care about) as opposed to fake apologizing for the sake of conflict avoidance.

 

[Gamisch]

I think our friend Atom Smasher had an entire thread on this. I believe he always stated a man should never apologize to a woman. Her female brain doesn't know how to process it other than as a form of weakness you are showing.

I don't think I would quite go that far. If I legitimately do something bad (which almost never happens) I will apologize to her. But I will never apologize to get along; I will never apologize to make her feel better; and I will certainly never apologize if I am being gas lighted into thinking I did something wrong when I know for a certainty I didn't. If you even begin to go down this path, you are sealing your fate in the relationship to either have constant frame wars or a breakup.

I geuss that's why they say to be unapologetic. I don't know if that means you should absolutely never ever apologize. Perhaps its rather a certain attitude , way of carrying yourself around women. Leads all the way back to the childhood bully she felt in love with .

Another factor women dont NEED to apologize to US is because every since they grew b00ps and azz they get away with everything. As some posters already stated, it seems like a lot of times you'll have to tesch each woman individually how and when to apologize. Like most of her previous relationships she never had to..

 

[Barrister]

I geuss that's why they say to be unapologetic. I don't know if that means you should absolutely never ever apologize. Perhaps its rather a certain attitude , way of carrying yourself around women. Leads all the way back to the childhood bully she felt in love with .

Another factor women dont NEED to apologize to US is because every since they grew b00ps and azz they get away with everything. As some posters already stated, it seems like a lot of times you'll have to tesch each woman individually how and when to apologize. Like most of her previous relationships she never had to..

Atom Smasher took the stance you never apologize. Period. Again, I don't think I would go that far. I would still offer an apology if I legitimately was an ass about something. It has happened a few times - but very rarely. I think many (maybe most?) men apologize far too often. I also think women tend to not understand why an apology is being offered, so they will assume you did wrong even if you didn't and also perceive it as weakness. If you apologize often, this will certainly affect how she overall looks at you.

Men would always do well to treat women like children many times. To part of your point, the difference is, IMO, that you really can't "teach" women how to apologize. You can certainly let them know where your boundaries are, which is why having strong frame is so important. But you should never expect a verbal apology from a woman. I am guessing it happens about as often as a total eclipse.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Aside from having the good fortune of being on the winning side of WWII, Churchill was a highly overrated politician, IMHO. He was a sellout and an opportunist, having crossed the floor not once but twice. Churchill wasn’t much better than the politicians of today and is not someone I’d look up to when it comes to questions of decency and morality.

click on this thread and it is the first post I see and I am like wtf lol