Have you ever gotten into a physical fight with a woman in your life?

[dude99]

Yes, but so is violence against perfectly good hash browns!

Never take it out on the food!

 

[Billtx49]

Violence against any gender is wrong.

If a woman starts getting physical with you, it's usually a sign of disrespect and/or a complete lack of emotional control. The emotional control issue should be a giant warning flag about any personality issues she may have.

If it is either, or both of the above situations, it is an unworkable relationship with her, unless you're a masochist.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Just like women should quit whining and leave their abusers too. Common sense right? Too bad it doesn't always work that easy in reality. My brother is a piece of sh!t who abused the mother of his kids for 10 years through violence, rape, forced drug use, fear, intimidation, and even stuffing a loaded gun in her mouth. Any rational person would say she should have left him before it got to that point. I guess because you're this 6'5 ultimate fighter who's never lost a fight you've never experienced what she went through (or anyone who was abused) so it's easy for you tell people who are abused to quit "whining" stop being a "victim" and leave.... there is so much psychology that comes into play regarding emotional and physical abuse (doesn't matter if you're male or female) that you seem to be ignorant of. I personally think there's no difference between emotional and physical abuse because the intent is the same.

Being a man doesn't mean you can't get abused or that you are more immune to abuse or that it's any easier to walk away.

And if you're referring to me as a "male victim" I have fortunately never been a victim of any physical or incessant emotional abuse by anyone. But I've witnessed it firsthand. Emotions are incredibly strong, and male or female, they will prevent you from acting rationally all the time.

Every man who posts here about a crazy ex with BPD has went through some form of emotional abuse caused by a women. It's not as easy when you're in it to just walk away. We don't tell them stop "whining" and playing the "victim" just because they are a man, we understand them and help them develops tools and new perspectives on life.

Again not advocating violence, just sick of hearing this bullish!t everywhere that women are untouchable because they are women and that men are naturally capable of walking off abuse like it's nothing because they are men.

Care to elaborate on that psychology? The way I look at it, the person has to weak a mental state to do anything about it. They don't have a strong enough personality nor do they have high enough self esteem. But I want to understand what you believe.

 

[TheProspect]

Care to elaborate on that psychology? The way I look at it, the person has to weak a mental state to do anything about it. They don't have a strong enough personality nor do they have high enough self esteem. But I want to understand what you believe.

If you're talking about abuse victims and why it's not so simple for them to leave (regardless of gender), this link can give you a quick idea and explain it better than I can in a nutshell:

http://www.theadvocacycenter.org/adv_violencewhy.html

 

[wifehunter]

Yes, family stuff...mom, sister...stupid drama.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

9 years ago, I had to arm lock my BPD ex and escort her outside my home because she had went crazy while drunk. She then proceed to drop kick my glass front door in a mini skirt, tossed the garbage all over my car then I called the cops.
Cops showed up, then I unlocked the door and they (girl cop) said "You called us just for that?"
If I had made the mistake to lay hand on her, I might still be in jail.
Always try to defuse, de-escalate the situation when things are about to get rough. It's never worth it. Trust me. And that goes for men/women.

If I ever feel threatened tho, men or women, I will defend myself. Nothing infuriates me more than a girl hitting a guy just cause she thinks she can get away with it... They wanted equality so here we go.

But my advice is any of this ever happens to you guys, arm lock her, escort her outside and lock yourself in... probably wise to call the cops right after and to not open the door until they're there.

Police did say it is OK to defend yourself and restrain them. Your technique is perfect. She'll probably spend as much time banging on the door and arguing as it takes for the cops to get there.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

If you're talking about abuse victims and why it's not so simple for them to leave (regardless of gender), this link can give you a quick idea and explain it better than I can in a nutshell:

http://www.theadvocacycenter.org/adv_violencewhy.html

That is absolute bullsh!t. The only reason for actually staying with an abusive person is if you are financially dependent on them, none of the other reasons are valid excuses of staying in an abusive relationship.

Fear? Call the cops, they take that **** seriously as hell, especially for a woman. As a guy, you gotta be able to defend yourself, and at that point its person vs person, not man vs woman; don't be afraid to kill someone if you have to.

Low self esteem? Harden up and quit caring of what others think of you; dont get sad or rely on them more after getting insulted, get angry and rebellious and stand up for yourself if you can.

Money? This may be a valid reason under certain circumstances. But you should always try to become financially independent once you realize you are in an abusive relationship.

Children? A broken home is often times better than a dysfunctional one; realize that your kids can and will get psychologically harmed by watching the abuse and maybe even experiencing, which means you need to protect your kids.

Control? You are getting abused, it's very clear who is in control; they will only expect more from you if you let them walk all over you, and you CANNOT let that happen anymore, especially since you are now aware of the abusive relationship.

Hope for change? Let go of the past and move on; the only way they will change is if they actually lose you and realize that you were serious about leaving them.

Pressure from friends and family? You shouldn't give a **** about what they think, this is survival here; no need tot will them anything unless you are gonna stay with them, in which case say that things have gotten really bad in your relationship and you cannot go home.

Don't know that 'help' is out there? So fvcking what, it's your life and no one else should be responsible for your relationship; just like everyone else in this world, you aren't entitled to any special 'help' just because you are in an abusive relationship unless things get life threatening.


If money isn't an issue, then it IS easy to leave an abusive relationship. If any of these (besides the money) is an issue, it's because you are a weak person, there's nothing else to it. Children make things a little more complicated, but you should still leave if things are really bad.

 

[TheProspect]

That is absolute bullsh!t. The only reason for actually staying with an abusive person is if you are financially dependent on them, none of the other reasons are valid excuses of staying in an abusive relationship.

Fear? Call the cops, they take that **** seriously as hell, especially for a woman. As a guy, you gotta be able to defend yourself, and at that point its person vs person, not man vs woman; don't be afraid to kill someone if you have to.

Low self esteem? Harden up and quit caring of what others think of you; dont get sad or rely on them more after getting insulted, get angry and rebellious and stand up for yourself if you can.

Money? This may be a valid reason under certain circumstances. But you should always try to become financially independent once you realize you are in an abusive relationship.

Children? A broken home is often times better than a dysfunctional one; realize that your kids can and will get psychologically harmed by watching the abuse and maybe even experiencing, which means you need to protect your kids.

Control? You are getting abused, it's very clear who is in control; they will only expect more from you if you let them walk all over you, and you CANNOT let that happen anymore, especially since you are now aware of the abusive relationship.

Hope for change? Let go of the past and move on; the only way they will change is if they actually lose you and realize that you were serious about leaving them.

Pressure from friends and family? You shouldn't give a **** about what they think, this is survival here; no need tot will them anything unless you are gonna stay with them, in which case say that things have gotten really bad in your relationship and you cannot go home.

Don't know that 'help' is out there? So fvcking what, it's your life and no one else should be responsible for your relationship; just like everyone else in this world, you aren't entitled to any special 'help' just because you are in an abusive relationship unless things get life threatening.


If money isn't an issue, then it IS easy to leave an abusive relationship. If any of these (besides the money) is an issue, it's because you are a weak person, there's nothing else to it. Children make things a little more complicated, but you should still leave if things are really bad.

According to you, more or less, all victims of abuse are "weak" and responsible for the abuse they go through, they should even sometimes use anger and fight back, and finally you insinuate it's justified and understandable if a victim stays with an abuser if it makes sense financially (Apparently this one doesn't qualify as being "weak").

I'm not even going to continue to respond to such a ludicrous opinion after this post. Have a loaded gun shoved in your mouth before you minimize other people's fears. In extreme cases (which are not uncommon at all), victims literally believe their abusers will kill or have them killed if they disclose the abuse to anyone. I'm assuming you haven't been in such a situation if you can ignorantly rebuke the decisions of people experiencing abuse. You probably wouldn't discredit your future daughters emotions and tell her she is "weak" for experiencing abuse and that she is responsible for it.

Yeah, everyone will agree; victims SHOULD leave, the solution is simple, but it is not always easy (subjectiveness plays a huge part here, what's easy for you and I isn't easy for everyone else and we're not better or worse for handling situations differently than them).

Not everyone can make rational decisions when experiencing overwhelming circumstances and/or overpowering emotions. People are NOT weak or inferior for making irrational decisions, they are human and should be regarded as such.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

According to you, more or less, all victims of abuse are "weak" and responsible for the abuse they go through, they should even sometimes use anger and fight back, and finally you insinuate it's justified and understandable if a victim stays with an abuser if it makes sense financially (Apparently this one doesn't qualify as being "weak").

I'm not even going to continue to respond to such a ludicrous opinion after this post. Have a loaded gun shoved in your mouth before you minimize other people's fears. In extreme cases (which are not uncommon at all), victims literally believe their abusers will kill or have them killed if they disclose the abuse to anyone. I'm assuming you haven't been in such a situation if you can ignorantly rebuke the decisions of people experiencing abuse. You probably wouldn't discredit your future daughters emotions and tell her she is "weak" for experiencing abuse and that she is responsible for it.

Yeah, everyone will agree; victims SHOULD leave, the solution is simple, but it is not always easy (subjectiveness plays a huge part here, what's easy for you and I isn't easy for everyone else and we're not better or worse for handling situations differently than them).

Not everyone can make rational decisions when experiencing overwhelming circumstances and/or overpowering emotions. People are NOT weak or inferior for making irrational decisions, they are human and should be regarded as such.

Well let's see, you are likely sleeping in that same bed of the person who pointed a gun in your face. It's easy to just wake up in he middle of the night, take a kitchen knife and jam it into their throat. But people are scared. Thinking from a place of emotions all the time is weakness. And anger is just a motivator, it doesn't mean you have to physically fight back. There's other ways too.

 

[bigneil]

Just like women should quit whining and leave their abusers too. Common sense right? Too bad it doesn't always work that easy in reality.

Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me.

I guess because you're this 6'5 ultimate fighter who's never lost a fight you've never experienced what she went through

I lost many fights. Just not since 1994.

Every man who posts here about a crazy ex with BPD has went through some form of emotional abuse caused by a women... We don't tell them stop "whining" and playing the "victim" just because they are a man...

Oh yes we do!

 

[FwoGiZ]

According to you, more or less, all victims of abuse are "weak" and responsible for the abuse they go through, they should even sometimes use anger and fight back, and finally you insinuate it's justified and understandable if a victim stays with an abuser if it makes sense financially (Apparently this one doesn't qualify as being "weak").

I'm not even going to continue to respond to such a ludicrous opinion after this post. Have a loaded gun shoved in your mouth before you minimize other people's fears. In extreme cases (which are not uncommon at all), victims literally believe their abusers will kill or have them killed if they disclose the abuse to anyone. I'm assuming you haven't been in such a situation if you can ignorantly rebuke the decisions of people experiencing abuse. You probably wouldn't discredit your future daughters emotions and tell her she is "weak" for experiencing abuse and that she is responsible for it.

Yeah, everyone will agree; victims SHOULD leave, the solution is simple, but it is not always easy (subjectiveness plays a huge part here, what's easy for you and I isn't easy for everyone else and we're not better or worse for handling situations differently than them).

Not everyone can make rational decisions when experiencing overwhelming circumstances and/or overpowering emotions. People are NOT weak or inferior for making irrational decisions, they are human and should be regarded as such.

I am 100% with IAmTheDoubleGreatest! here.

TheProspect... you can't start interpreting what people say and put word in their mouth... this is so snowflake and millennial Don't be that.
I would say that most victims of abuse are indeed very weak... abuser are actually weak in a lot of ways too but they prey on even weaker people if that make sense.
Then you are saying that he's saying they're responsible for being abused? C'mon now......
What I'd say tho, is similar to if you were "raped at a party while drunk"
The rapist is 100% at fault but it doesn't mean that the girl doesn't have a part of responsibility. If I am a chick that decide to walk in a mini skirt in a dark back alley in Jamaica, Kingston at 4AM all by myself, I hold a small responsibility if I get raped. You can ***** at all the bullies, rapists and abusers of the world and try and fight them until the last of them disappear, in the end that's very bluepill. Repill would be to acknowledge they exist and always will, and arm yourself against them. Make sure you can defend yourself against them.
If you can't do that, you are weak and need to get stronger.
We're not saying it's easy... but the only reason to prevent someone from doing so is their own self....!!!!!

Kudo to DoubleTheGreatest for not getting salty and responding defensively.

 

[FwoGiZ]

Police did say it is OK to defend yourself and restrain them. Your technique is perfect. She'll probably spend as much time banging on the door and arguing as it takes for the cops to get there.

Actually you have to be VERY careful. Where I am from and I would think it's the same in the US, if cops get called on domestic violence, they simply take the guy away no questions asked because he's seen as THE potential threat; basically remove the dude, no one gets hurt. It's complete pure non sense but hey they're cops.... That's why I locked her outside basically. This way there was no interpretation about my emotional state when they got here. I was calm, under control and already "locked away from her".
I've seen a lot of dudes get hardcore ****ed over by cops over stupid ****. Basically they ask you to come to police station with them just to let her cooldown. Then once you are there, they tell you that you need to sign this paper and they'll let you go, if not they keep you in for the day. Most guys don't read the paper and basically sign a paper which says that they admit they were violent and abusive and that they're ok to leave the police station now. If they don't sign that paper, the cops have them wait at the police station which most dudes don't wanna do.
IF THAT EVEN HAPPENS TO YOU, STAY THERE!!! CALL A LAWYER.
This signed paper, in court, automatically makes you GUILTY! Yup disgusting.

Do not stay in abusive relationship, it will come back bite you in the ass either way.

 

[RangerMIke]

Only my sister and we were 8 and 9 year's old. Why would anyone get in a fight with a chick, it's a complete waste of time fighting and arguing with women.

 

[TheProspect]

I am 100% with IAmTheDoubleGreatest! here.

TheProspect... you can't start interpreting what people say and put word in their mouth... this is so snowflake and millennial Don't be that.
I would say that most victims of abuse are indeed very weak... abuser are actually weak in a lot of ways too but they prey on even weaker people if that make sense.
Then you are saying that he's saying they're responsible for being abused? C'mon now......
What I'd say tho, is similar to if you were "raped at a party while drunk"
The rapist is 100% at fault but it doesn't mean that the girl doesn't have a part of responsibility. If I am a chick that decide to walk in a mini skirt in a dark back alley in Jamaica, Kingston at 4AM all by myself, I hold a small responsibility if I get raped. You can ***** at all the bullies, rapists and abusers of the world and try and fight them until the last of them disappear, in the end that's very bluepill. Repill would be to acknowledge they exist and always will, and arm yourself against them. Make sure you can defend yourself against them.
If you can't do that, you are weak and need to get stronger.
We're not saying it's easy... but the only reason to prevent someone from doing so is their own self....!!!!!

Kudo to DoubleTheGreatest for not getting salty and responding defensively.

I don't understand what point you're trying to make, I actually agree with what you said.

If you're saying people are "weak" because overwhelming circumstances and emotions influence their decisions to become irrational, you are right. If you're saying people are "weak" in the sense they are inferior to you, I respectfully disagree.

The victims do hold a responsibility to do something about it. My point was that's it's simple for anyone to tell someone to "just leave" or "stab your abuser in the neck" from the outside looking in. But it's not easy, and I'm merely suggesting its not constructive to label people weak.

Imthedoubegreatest! asked for a link that showed why people that are abused stay with their abusers. I provided it. Apparently all those reasons are bullish!t. Arguing with psychology doesn't seem like a proactive thing to do, but if people feel better replacing all those reasons on the link I posted by summing it up with "victims are just weak" I won't stop them.

 

[zekko]

Only time I ever retaliated was years ago when my friend and I were standing at the bar at Coyote Ugly in Ybor City. I knew nothing about the place or the movie. I was also at the peak of a heavy steroid cycle, weighing about 255 pounds. I was already somewhat pvissed off because the bouncer informed us there was a cover (which I absolutely hate paying). Women, of course, weren't charged the cover. Whatever. As we stood at the bar my friend played a joke on me and asked me to order a water. The female bartender sprayed me with water and I immediately tossed the contents of my beer right at her face.

Lol, that may be the funniest "roid rage" story I've ever heard.

Sounds like you should have been mad at your buddy though, the poor girl was probably just doing her job. But you didn't know. I saw that movie, I thought the whole premise of the place sounded idiotic.

 

[SgtSplacker]

My girl smacked me once and I popped her right back within about half a second delay. I walked away telling her it had gone too far. Nothing happened after that.

 

[Red Legg]

I was dating a BPD woman one time whose "lovebombing" period had ended,so I told her that it was over.I was staying at a hotel at the time.She wakes me up at 3 am in a blinding snowstorm pounding on my hotel room door begging me to let her in and that she was freezing outside.I ignored her pounding for about an hour she was begging the whole time to please let her in so we could "talk".I finally relented and opened the door.She came in and closed the door and acted calm...she then charged me out of nowhere swinging wildly with her car keys between her fists (trying to cut my face) then picked up the clock radio and beamed me right in the head with it...before I put an end to the trojan style horse attack......lesson learned- never ever open the door.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

OP.

Yes. She started it, I ended it. As predictable, I came off worse, she came off far better.

Violence of any kind is discouraged, unless absolutely necessary i.e. there is a threat to life. Otherwise, walk away.

 

[Don Robbo]

When I was 21 (some time ago now) a woman pulled a knife on me in Brixton (for those of you not in the UK it's quite a rough area). I hit her as hard as I could in the face. Have never really told the story that much. I'd do it again though can't have crazy bitches running around with knives