Have you ever gone AFC on your LTR?

[jophil28]

This site, among others, essentially got it’s start from pickup artistry and has developed into something more practical and substantive than a bag of clever hat tricks to seduce women. Pickup artistry is, at it’s core, manipulation. It is a set of tricks, illusions, and triggers that are designed to temporarily augment a woman’s interest to the point you can sleep with her, without addressing any of the root issues that gave you problems with women and life in the first place. A chump is a chump regardless of the external validations he has cajoled into coming his way.

It’s easy to come to this site and get lost in the dogma without addressing your core problem---being an AFC. I did for a long time. I had all of this theoretical knowledge but negligible experience...like an expert diver who had never been in the pool. In the past year or so I have obtained a lot of real-time experience that has not only cemented some of the tenets I already learned, but shattered others. A good foundation is built on the basics. All the rest is fine tuning.

But back to the question of your original post---yes, I have. I think most men have, or were AFC's to begin with and never leave.

If you allow them, women will slowly seep into every nook and crevice of your life. This is how men get sucked back into their old AFC ways---they slowly allow their comfort to reach a level where she becomes the centerpiece of his life. If you think about it, this IS the problem. She has slowly and ever so subtly become the focus of your life. Now you may say "no way...I have a great job, hobbies, friends, etc. She's just my girlfriend." Really? If she were just your girlfriend, would you have yourself to regress into a supplicating ball of mush?

When men regress into AFCism during the course of an LTR, that IS the reason--they have lost their hand. When you got with her you were cool, calm, funny, and masculine. You did what you wanted and didn't really put too much care into the outcome---you were just enjoying her and going about your life. This is what attracted her to you--your masculine independence. You ever notice how women don't want men who REALLY want them? This is the cardinal tenet of relationships: the one who wants the most is at the mercy of the other.

That's not to say that you shouldn't be with a woman you genuinely DO desire, but you shouldn't let your desire for her supersede your own self-respect. Not one beating female heart on this planet is worth compromising your self-respect for, and this is what happens in many LTR's. You lose your other options, she becomes central to you, and your fear of losing her and her pussie smothers your manhood like a wet blanket.

As DJ's we cannot allow this to happen. And just as importantly, we cannot blame women when it does happen. The motto of the DJ is, and ever should be, VIGILANCE.

You must keep moving forward with your life, even if that means leaving her.

You must maintain a balance between yourself, your friends, and your woman.

You must choose women that choose YOU.

You must constantly take inventory of your faculties and emotions; and be wary that they are not spent disproportionately.

You must be true to what YOU want, not what she wants.

You must have like-minded men in your life; to keep each other in check. Iron will sharpen iron.

You must never, ever, EVER place a woman up on a pedestal. They don't want it, and you don't need it. You may find a woman who is your equal, but you are never her subordinate.

You must have boundaries, and hold them like a fortress.

You must never tolerate disrespect, and this starts with SELF-respect.


Follow these basic tenets and you will by and large be successful with women.

Exactly right, precisely correct, and that is about all a newbie needs to know for the first year of his AFC recovery.

 

[speed dawg]

At least you got to the relationship part. I usually got kicked to the curb within 2 months most of the time before I learned what was going on out there, what actually was reality and what was fantasy.

And honestly, I'm a decent looking guy with a good job and social skills. Not bragging by any means, just putting it in perspective.

 

[TheDoctor]

Very nice posts KontrollerX and Colossus. I see how this situation has probably plauged numerous guys. I've given it my full attention and I will walk away the victor.

 

[mrRuckus]

This is so fvcked up.

So many guys just want to make her happy and then have her do the same thing back in return. I do things for her, she does things for me. It makes sense to a guy.

But what happens is that you try to fulfill this by doing whatever she asks and then instead of being like "he did his side of the contract so i will do mine" instead they just decide they're going to take more.

Ugh.


Oh and then women and men alike then blame the man for just trying to be 50/50.

Where is the warning label that women aren't interested in 50/50?

I gotta say no to stuff i actually want to do or am willing to do just fine just for the sake of "hey, i say no sometimes."

What crap.

It really doesn't even occur to me to take advantage of a girl who gives. I mean, my mom just sent me a birthday card with a check (yeah she still thinks i'm like 16) and said sorry it's less than usual but a cut in my funds makes it necessary. I make like 2 or 3 times the amt she makes and she's sending me cash. Gah. I'm not going to cash that check. Who raises these girls to take advantage of others? We need liberal beatings to return to commonplace.

Women are bad people. Maybe serious.

 

[darkstarrr]

Lot of flavorful input on this thread. Very useful and intuitive information that will serve to help make us better men. Thanks for sharing.