Have toxic work environments ruined anyone else's dating life?

[Jesse Pinkman]

I hate to make excuses but kind of going off of what @LARaiders85 talked about a while back. Currently, I work for a really big company and the manager I have this year has been textbook toxic. She has ruined the vibe for a lot of people and quite a few folks have quit.

However, I have found that at times, I am too drained after the workday in most cases to game properly or spend much time on women. I have found myself not being myself at times on dates or just being miserable even if I have a hot date lined up.

Am I just making excuses or has anyone else also encountered this?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

No, I would quit the job immediately if my work crept into my personal life that much.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There is a saying that people don't leave bad jobs they leave bad bosses.

 

[devilkingx2]

My bosses hate it when I talk to the customers, which is weird because it's a store and our training tells us to chat them up. (my location has a 2.4/5 stars rating on Google)

I've met a lot of girls by talking to customers whenever the bosses aren't looking. Got an actual date and about a dozen new Instagram followers so far.

Also looking for a new job on the side just in case my bosses want to fire me for being too successful at the game of life.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Women in leadership positions are extremely toxic unless you know how to play them. You shouldn’t be treating your female boss like a “boss”. You should subtly flirt with her - if a woman with power likes you then she’ll move mountains for you.

Women are just infinitely more corruptible than men by nature. You can make it your best friend or worst enemy.

Not sure I agree with that. There are plenty of dudes who were blinded by pvssy.

Wars were even fought over it.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I hate to make excuses but kind of going off of what @LARaiders85 talked about a while back. Currently, I work for a really big company and the manager I have this year has been textbook toxic. She has ruined the vibe for a lot of people and quite a few folks have quit.

However, I have found that at times, I am too drained after the workday in most cases to game properly or spend much time on women. I have found myself not being myself at times on dates or just being miserable even if I have a hot date lined up.

Am I just making excuses or has anyone else also encountered this?

Line up a new gig. Freelance or go off savings especially if it's soul crushing. It's always why YOU MUST HAVE A EMERGENCY FUND. Micro FU fund in case a employer goes full retard. You can say no or tell a client to eat a bags of d.

There's a old Ty Julien collaboration video. Wolf's in sheep's clothing or something. "Can't be fun. Can't be free." - Julien

If that describes your employment, it's going to F your game, health or life.

LEAVE. Get a recruiter. Bail. I've lost count on deaths since high school and college. If they knew how little time they had, they wouldn't have stayed put. They wouldn't have tolerate a **** boss, Karen in Hr, a ****ty ltr or whatever.

@Jesse Pinkman mate, leave. At the very least, begin a exit strategy. This rubbish bleeds into other areas of life. My favorite RP content is Aaron Clarey who dissects the past of rubbish in banking working for psychopath or a sociopath Karen in HR.

Begin plotting the exit strategy. Life's too short and what they pay isn't worth what it's costing you. 110% of your bandwidth needs to be allocated to get a better gig.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yes, men are certainly corruptible with pvssy. But men have shown in history that we can get on top of that issue for the greater good - you could simply reintroduce old school monogamy/family/marriage laws and problem solved - one woman for one man was the old deal.

But guys like us would never accept that deal because now it’s open season for a man who knows what he’s doing. It’s just like a drug addiction (but better - no drug beats sex with multiple beautiful women) - and it’s the reason we are from such a conservative past (it’s to control the sex addictions of men who are good with women). You gotta control sex and channel it into productivity and society-building. All those men sitting at home jerking off all day and/or chasing after multiple women is a lot of wasted energy. A guy can sink years down the can doing it. Our desire of sex is endless and the more you indulge, the more you want - especially if you can get it easily. AMS rightly says that a man, given the chance, will happily spend all his time eating, fvcking and sleeping. Sex addiction, if indulged, puts a man into a kind of lifestyle coma.

Except that was never really true either. Both genders were sneaking around behind each other's back even back then.

 

[The Duke]

It will ruin your life if you allow it to. It's up to you. Kind of like tolerating a crazy chic. Your choice.

A few years ago I had to get out of corporate America. I was never an ass kisser nor a slacker and that caused me to be someone I wasn't just to survive. Best thing I ever did was quit and found a new career.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

the manager I have this year has been textbook toxic. She has ruined the vibe for a lot of people and quite a few folks have quit.

Women are horrible bosses. Never had one singe good one. Period!

They are extremely power hungry and want to show their manager at the expense of everyone else, no matter of the cost to get there that they are "One of the boys" and they almost always create a very toxic work environment. Exceptions does apply of course, but so does rare unicorns in dating too. And if they in someway feel that they are a threat to them (E.g. you are more competent, smarter, work harder or whatever etc.), they make sure to find/make up some reason to get rid of you.

They create drama and also run these psychological wars with their female colleges, tend to hire only women, (Because I guess they are less threat to their position, than men?), and make life miserable for their male subjects to suppress them.

Complaining to your bosses probably isn't the option (?), but if they are open to it, then that might an option too; but that comes of course with the risk that it will backfire..

I'd leave the company if I where you, life is too short to feel like **** on work. Find a better one with a cool male manager instead where you have interesting and fun workdays...

 

[Bible_Belt]

Kill'em with kindness is good way to face any adversary.

 

[TheTigerV1]

Funny that you post this OP, I was about to make a new post about the same topic. It must be a sign from the universe hahahah.

anyways, let me il tell you something. Right now I’m in a very comfy job that for many reasons I don’t really like.
I have more money and live in a better place, however my dating life has never been this bad. And you know why? Because I’m just not the same. I bring with me the frustration of this job I hate, the self loathing of not being able to leave yet, and the uncertainty of what I want to do next.
No matter how much I want to detach my job from my personal life, if I spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week doing something, anything, that thing is going to change me, whether I want it or not. Now the question is whether that activity is going to bring a positive or a negative change in my frame, confidence and self-image. The answer in our case is very clear.

My frame is shattered, and yours too, because there is a discrepancy between the ideal image of who you could be and who you are right now. Yous re not aligned, centred, and you are very far away from “individuation” (in Jungian terms) . Women smell this on you, since they are amazing at picking up men’s subconscious.

 

[SW15]

I hate to make excuses but kind of going off of what @LARaiders85 talked about a while back. Currently, I work for a really big company and the manager I have this year has been textbook toxic. She has ruined the vibe for a lot of people and quite a few folks have quit.

However, I have found that at times, I am too drained after the workday in most cases to game properly or spend much time on women. I have found myself not being myself at times on dates or just being miserable even if I have a hot date lined up.

Am I just making excuses or has anyone else also encountered this?

You're not making excuses. You are discussing something legitimate.

I don't know if "ruin" is the right word but "affected" or "significantly affected" would be accurate words.

Your vibe is going to be less than ideal in your approaches and early stage dates if you're dealing with signficant work stresses. That's going to affect how new relationships form. If you're already in a relationship, work stress will affect your frame, which can affect your relationship.

As I've observed, the biggest difference between college and the white collar working world is the primary consequence associated with messing up. In college, if you mess up, the absolute worst consequence is that you fail a specific class and have to take it again. Knowing that's the worst consequence is liberating and you can have a more carefree mentality going into dates. In the white collar working world, if you fucck up at work, you can get fired. When you get fired, you're likely facing 3-9 months of job interviews while getting a fraction of your former salary from state unemployment payments. That's going to affect quality of life in a major way. You can't have as carefree of a mentality in dating endeavors.

A man who is laid off/fired and is a white collar worker can expect to lose his girlfriend or wife as a result of a job loss. A man with a wife, has more time. A man with a girlfriend has less time as she will depart faster. A white collar job search takes anywhere from 3-9 months. Women today have endless options. They have the abundance that men aim to have. They have no patience for any sort of inconvenience or hard work. Additionally, women have somewhat unreal expectations surrounding job searches and job losses. It's not entirely their faults though, as women are rarely victims of job losses. Women with bachelor's degrees or higher working white collar jobs are unlikely to lose their jobs.

Blue collar men and low wage service sector workers have it easier in this regard. Women who date blue collar men and men with McJobs tend to care a little less about employment, especially if you happen to be a tattooed dirtbag.

Why Do Women Break Up With Guys Who Lose Their Jobs

Recently my Relative announced that his wife is leaving him, 1.5 months ago he lost his job because the firm he was working for went bankrupt due to the pandemic (the economy is not in good shape). Obviously it's hard to find a new job with the virus around and restrictions for everything. They...

www.sosuave.net

Women are horrible bosses. Never had one singe good one. Period!

They are extremely power hungry and want to show their manager at the expense of everyone else, no matter of the cost to get there that they are "One of the boys" and they almost always create a very toxic work environment. Exceptions does apply of course, but so does rare unicorns in dating too. And if they in someway feel that they are a threat to them (E.g. you are more competent, smarter, work harder or whatever etc.), they make sure to find/make up some reason to get rid of you.

They create drama and also run these psychological wars with their female colleges, tend to hire only women, (Because I guess they are less threat to their position, than men?), and make life miserable for their male subjects to suppress them.

Complaining to your bosses probably isn't the option (?), but if they are open to it, then that might an option too; but that comes of course with the risk that it will backfire..

I'd leave the company if I where you, life is too short to feel like **** on work. Find a better one with a cool male manager instead where you have interesting and fun workdays...

I have had similar experience with female bosses in white collar work. Additionally, I have also had some negative experiences with female hiring managers/prospective bosses while interviewing. I have a strong preference to have a male as my immediate supervisor.

No, I would quit the job immediately if my work crept into my personal life that much.

That's the best way to do it. However, most of us are wage slaves and need to at least search for another corporate employment gig to escape a toxic gig. It's easier to find a new job when you have a job.

Additionally, trying to date new women or maintain an existing relationship during a high pressure job search is not easy but it is do-able. It's a less than ideal circumstance.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

You're not making excuses. You are discussing something legitimate.

I don't know if "ruin" is the right word but "affected" or "significantly affected" would be accurate words.

Your vibe is going to be less than ideal in your approaches and early stage dates if you're dealing with signficant work stresses. That's going to affect how new relationships form. If you're already in a relationship, work stress will affect your frame, which can affect your relationship.

As I've observed, the biggest difference between college and the white collar working world is the primary consequence associated with messing up. In college, if you mess up, the absolute worst consequence is that you fail a specific class and have to take it again. Knowing that's the worst consequence is liberating and you can have a more carefree mentality going into dates. In the white collar working world, if you fucck up at work, you can get fired. When you get fired, you're likely facing 3-9 months of job interviews while getting a fraction of your former salary from state unemployment payments. That's going to affect quality of life in a major way. You can't have as carefree of a mentality in dating endeavors.

A man who is laid off/fired and is a white collar worker can expect to lose his girlfriend or wife as a result of a job loss. A man with a wife, has more time. A man with a girlfriend has less time as she will depart faster. A white collar job search takes anywhere from 3-9 months. Women today have endless options. They have the abundance that men aim to have. They have no patience for any sort of inconvenience or hard work. Additionally, women have somewhat unreal expectations surrounding job searches and job losses. It's not entirely their faults though, as women are rarely victims of job losses. Women with bachelor's degrees or higher working white collar jobs are unlikely to lose their jobs.

Blue collar men and low wage service sector workers have it easier in this regard. Women who date blue collar men and men with McJobs tend to care a little less about employment, especially if you happen to be a tattooed dirtbag.

Why Do Women Break Up With Guys Who Lose Their Jobs

Recently my Relative announced that his wife is leaving him, 1.5 months ago he lost his job because the firm he was working for went bankrupt due to the pandemic (the economy is not in good shape). Obviously it's hard to find a new job with the virus around and restrictions for everything. They...

www.sosuave.net

I have had similar experience with female bosses in white collar work. Additionally, I have also had some negative experiences with female hiring managers/prospective bosses while interviewing. I have a strong preference to have a male as my immediate supervisor.



That's the best way to do it. However, most of us are wage slaves and need to at least search for another corporate employment gig to escape a toxic gig. It's easier to find a new job when you have a job.

Additionally, trying to date new women or maintain an existing relationship during a high pressure job search is not easy but it is do-able. It's a less than ideal circumstance.

Straight from the horse's mouth and it's awesome:

This female CEO explains why she doesn't want to hire women. She litterally destroys the feminist seminar...
Really worth watching.

Now on top of that there has been tons of research on the subject and ardding to that 8 out of 10 women too hates working for a female boss and would rather leave than being in such environment.

I suppose that tells a lot about it too?

Even more proof that the CEO in the video is absolutely correct in her assessment of not hiring women:
Samantha Brick started up her utopian business idea and dream of a female only agency and over the coarse of two years she went bankrupt because of this genius idea. Drama pursued and there where catfights over handbags and tears in the toilets. A total absolute sheite show.

Catfights over handbags and tears in the toilets. With her women-only TV company this producer thought she'd kissed goodbye to conflict...

What happened to the Sisterhood? In her all-female company, Samantha Brick witnessed the bitching, backbiting and conflict that eventually brought her company to its knees.

www.dailymail.co.uk

@BeExcellent - You're girl, so what is your take on this?
I would find it interesting to hear if you also have same views as many other women, (and us guys ofc), about not working for a female boss?

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Nope, from Oct 2021 to March 2022, I fell for some toxic pyramid scheme wolf of wallstreet sales job. If you have seen the Boiler Room then it was exactly like that movie. I ran out of steam late November, and it ruined my relationship with my ex, and we broke up New Year's eve. I was on the verge of bankruptcy and having constant anxiety until I finally decided to give up and found a much better job in April. From January to basically May, I couldn't talk to women because of crippling anxiety, defeatism, and being scared of being out in the streets.

July was hell for me too because I needed my first commissions check to pay off past due bills (PLUS INFLATION AND RISING ENERGY COSTS) that were caused by my pyramid scheme job and work was killing me lol. That's when you called me out in one of my topics lol.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Line up a new gig. Freelance or go off savings especially if it's soul crushing. It's always why YOU MUST HAVE A EMERGENCY FUND. Micro FU fund in case a employer goes full retard. You can say no or tell a client to eat a bags of d.

There's a old Ty Julien collaboration video. Wolf's in sheep's clothing or something. "Can't be fun. Can't be free." - Julien

If that describes your employment, it's going to F your game, health or life.

LEAVE. Get a recruiter. Bail. I've lost count on deaths since high school and college. If they knew how little time they had, they wouldn't have stayed put. They wouldn't have tolerate a **** boss, Karen in Hr, a ****ty ltr or whatever.

@Jesse Pinkman mate, leave. At the very least, begin a exit strategy. This rubbish bleeds into other areas of life. My favorite RP content is Aaron Clarey who dissects the past of rubbish in banking working for psychopath or a sociopath Karen in HR.

Begin plotting the exit strategy. Life's too short and what they pay isn't worth what it's costing you. 110% of your bandwidth needs to be allocated to get a better gig.

I have about 6 months of living expenses saved up and I did not want to use them at all, I thought I'd keep saving up in case I want to buy a house in the future. After a date today that went sour solely due to the crap I had to deal with at work, I decided that enough is finally enough. I am going to put my two weeks in Monday without another job lined up. Recruiters have been really ineffective in getting me anything other than scammy offers or just workplaces that cannot last long-term.

It is going to suck not having a regular paycheck come in but at the very least, I have enough saved up for the time being.

I have had it.

It ruined a good date for me today but even for months, I have been suffering. I have to force myself out of bed, this new manager sucks. I am not going to deal with it anymore, I am losing my sanity. No amount of promotions are worth it, I am done. I am too exhausted mentally to even go out.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Very much so. Absolutely exhausted on weekday dates. Bloodshot eyes. Poor game. Bad sex.

Eventually, I just started dreading dates and flaking on them a lot, or prioritizing guarunteed relaxing and fun events with my friends over a potentially boring date that I really couldn't afford to waste my precious free time on.

When you work long hours, you *must* cold day approach during the week. Try getting in the mood for that when your boss is chewing you out 3x a week and your clients the other two.

I managed to have a couple girlfriends of 8 months each in spite of it all during my 5 year stint in a toxic job. I destroyed the first one with negativity, complaining, low energy, and boredom, all directly tied to work. The second one, I was vindictive, greedy, and held a grudge. To be fair, thay was a rebound from the first one and those tend to be pretty toxic even in a good situation.

Bro tell me about it. I am here right now unable to go out. A lot of nights I want to just pass the heck out and not even go out. I have to meditate every morning on weekends and go for a run just to find the energy to do daygame. I am negative and toxic at times too because of the kinds of people I work with and the kind of boss I had it. It all came down on me and I am going to unemployed too, given that we are in a massive recession, but whatever. I cannot deal with it anymore bro. I am almost broken and need time to recover.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

You're not making excuses. You are discussing something legitimate.

I don't know if "ruin" is the right word but "affected" or "significantly affected" would be accurate words.

Your vibe is going to be less than ideal in your approaches and early stage dates if you're dealing with signficant work stresses. That's going to affect how new relationships form. If you're already in a relationship, work stress will affect your frame, which can affect your relationship.

As I've observed, the biggest difference between college and the white collar working world is the primary consequence associated with messing up. In college, if you mess up, the absolute worst consequence is that you fail a specific class and have to take it again. Knowing that's the worst consequence is liberating and you can have a more carefree mentality going into dates. In the white collar working world, if you fucck up at work, you can get fired. When you get fired, you're likely facing 3-9 months of job interviews while getting a fraction of your former salary from state unemployment payments. That's going to affect quality of life in a major way. You can't have as carefree of a mentality in dating endeavors.

A man who is laid off/fired and is a white collar worker can expect to lose his girlfriend or wife as a result of a job loss. A man with a wife, has more time. A man with a girlfriend has less time as she will depart faster. A white collar job search takes anywhere from 3-9 months. Women today have endless options. They have the abundance that men aim to have. They have no patience for any sort of inconvenience or hard work. Additionally, women have somewhat unreal expectations surrounding job searches and job losses. It's not entirely their faults though, as women are rarely victims of job losses. Women with bachelor's degrees or higher working white collar jobs are unlikely to lose their jobs.

Blue collar men and low wage service sector workers have it easier in this regard. Women who date blue collar men and men with McJobs tend to care a little less about employment, especially if you happen to be a tattooed dirtbag.

Now try the fact that we are in a recession and companies and laying people off by the hundreds left and right, making quitting even more tough. I saved up for months and I have decided that at this point, I will just try to enjoy life for a couple of months. I have been at my current employer for well over 3 years which is huge in my industry where people job hop left and right. However, it was different.

When I started, I had a cool mentor as a boss, he was a really chill Indian guy from Canada and almost like an older brother to me. After him, I had a cool Asian guy as a boss too. Then I get this neurotic Italian chick as my manager this year (really late last year) who is super freaking crazy and psycho. My mind was ready to bust, she would hit me up on weekends and after work hours to get on top of stuff and then yell at me during the weekdays because I did not respond to her. So many freaking mindgames bro.

Jesus Christ, I am beat after dealing with her for about 10 months.

I am just dreaming of traveling to more cities now and just doing more fun stuff. Maybe I do make money from a side hustle, who knows, but man screw this job my brain is so fried.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I have about 6 months of living expenses saved up and I did not want to use them at all, I thought I'd keep saving up in case I want to buy a house in the future. After a date today that went sour solely due to the crap I had to deal with at work, I decided that enough is finally enough. I am going to put my two weeks in Monday without another job lined up. Recruiters have been really ineffective in getting me anything other than scammy offers or just workplaces that cannot last long-term.

It is going to suck not having a regular paycheck come in but at the very least, I have enough saved up for the time being.

I have had it.

It ruined a good date for me today but even for months, I have been suffering. I have to force myself out of bed, this new manager sucks. I am not going to deal with it anymore, I am losing my sanity. No amount of promotions are worth it, I am done. I am too exhausted mentally to even go out.

Bro be careful because I did the exact same thing and I had 30k saved up with an 800 fico score. However, it was 99% the job that financially ruined me, but not having anything lined up can put you in a scarcity mindset as it did to me. I could've waited a few more months, but I was scared nothing else would come up and I was sick of trying to walk around saying oI'm unemployed to girls lol. However, I did end up with a much better job pay-wise and in a better industry than my major. Just be careful lol.

Also, try and get something locked in before like late October because HR basically closes from November to January from my experience.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

What kind of organization did you think you joined, Jesse? There is no leaving the cartel...

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Bro be careful because I did the exact same thing and I had 30k saved up with an 800 fico score. However, it was 99% the job that financially ruined me, but not having anything lined up can put you in a scarcity mindset as it did to me. I could've waited a few more months, but I was scared nothing else would come up and I was sick of trying to walk around saying oI'm unemployed to girls lol. However, I did end up with a much better job pay-wise and in a better industry than my major. Just be careful lol.

Also, try and get something locked in before like late October because HR basically closes from November to January from my experience.

Yeah I am aware of that. I have quit my job before without another one lined up but I just kind of got to a point where I am like, okay, but how much is my mental sanity really worth to me? A lot. Worst case, I move back home with my parents.