have siuation with GF..need advice on this

[frivolousz21]

alright...my girl told me last night she is unsure about us.....ok..so i broke it of.

she has feelings for me.
she called me today at lunch and told me she misses me and she likes me a lot, cares about me...and misses everything about me.


aright ill admit I like her..I would give her another shot..she didnt cheat on me or this and that..she got stressed and made me expendable.

so what do I do now?


my plan is to get focused on my life and my stuff and go out with friends and other women....and get her out of my head..and let her see if im valuable to her or not...not answer her calls for a few days and this and that?

sounds good?

and if it doenst work then I will have to just get focused on my stuff and move on.

but I will give her a shot ...if she proves it

 

[arq-dj1]

i didn't understand what happened between u two...
can u go a little more on that?

 

[insomniac]

She's probably now thinking "What have I done???" She's feeling naked, scared, and alone...and who has made her feel better in the past? You! She still needs your attention and affection, and wants the option of keeping you around for a while longer. Her words are meant to stike your emotinal chords....draw you back in.

I went through the exact same thing. The very night my GF broke up with me, she wrote a sappy letter saying how she's willing to work it out. I ignored her and didn't call (good), but then I received her letter and she called up shortly after drunk, telling me she was a mess and asked what I thought about us working it out. I told her I needed time and would get back to her (still good on my part). Over the next few days she'd keep calling, sometimes I'd answer, sometimes not, but I never called her (good). Then, I caved and wrote her back a sappy letter saying I'd like to work things out (bad, bad, bad!). That's where it went downhill. She changed her mind shortly after that and finally I didn't care anymore, and said we shouldn't talk for awhile.

Sounds like you have a good plan. When she calls, talk a while, then suddenly have to go. Don't explicitly say you're seeing other people, but let the suspicion build. If you want her back, put her at the bottom of your priority list over other women and see if she's willing to fight her way up. Just don't go running back to her like I did.

 

[frivolousz21]

exactly.

my female friend..told me..she is confused..and looked at me like a burdon more than a positive.

and if i sit around and act like a puppy she knows she can continue this.

if I show her i am fine without her..she will either let it go..or realize how valuable I am to her...and start treating me and looking at me in her life diff..as long as teh feelings are there.

either way im taking steps in the right direction

 

[arq-dj1]

frivo, i think u should question yourself if you want her or not...

perfect opportunity to analyze that... see if you have other prospects my friend

 

[frivolousz21]

yea u are right..and ive thought about that...and I will def focus on other women too...and if she gets fired up about it then good..if not..then i move on.

 

[frivolousz21]

I really appreciate the advice guys..!

thanks.

 

[Kaine]

my female friend..told me..she is confused..and looked at me like a burdon more than a positive.

What did she mean by burden?

Was she unsure about whether you cared?

You need to calibrate your behaviour, maybe you were been too detached.

I am not too clear on your details but don't be too quick to next her.


Kaine

 

[belividere]

Did you write a post about this girl earlier? Is this a month old relationship?

 

[penkitten]

some people get scared of relationships.... even girls

 

[Dominant]

Frivolous, your game plan in the first post was perfect.

Don't analyze this stuff any further or listen to people telling you to second-guess your initial ideas. Just re-read your initial post and stick to that plan word for word.

If a girl isn't totally and completely into you after you've dated her a while, forget it.

You deserve better than some flaky, unsure, second-guessing woman who can't decide what she wants.

There's so many girls out there, you can find better. You're not missing out on anything except more anxiety and drama.

-Dominant.

 

[Trance]

Read my topic about a similar situation:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=654079#post654079

 

[frivolousz21]

hey whats up???


Trance, that is a great thing you did..and I have a similiar Idea.

last night I called her at 1230.

I wasnt going to call her for days but the last conversationw as a little to emotional where I told her I missed her and this and that...I wanted to clean that up..we ended up talking alot longer than I wanted or exspected...she almost hung up on me when I was going on about this or that..

then said well I know I dont have an issue getting ladies..so u take ur time..adn figure things out. and she said right now I want you so much, i like you so much...i know this is wrong..but I have to be sure. i said its all good..I got things to do..good night.

and that was it.



so now i wont talk to her till she calls me....I like her but if she doesnt cme back or CHASE me....ill move on

 

[Trance]

There's a diference in SHOWING you are ready to move on if she doesnt cut the crap, or TELLING her that you are!

Telling her is just menacing her, and she will hate that, and see you as ****y and needy.
Showing shows you're missing her a lot less that she is missing you, and she will see you as the prize, and seize you.

Just a reminder so that you dont screw up buddy keep doing your thing and things will solve.

 

[frivolousz21]

Right


Trance you are right.

I wont sit here and say im some pimp...well ok...getting women isnt hard..but I like this girl..and I do miss her. but its not killing me...I mean ****....I have other things to do.

but we have a great thing..and it can be a great thing when done right.

I am going to show her I dont miss her as much as I do.which isnt as much as you would think... but I like her as my girl, our sex is great, conversastions are great, its all great.

she told me when she is with me its great...the last few days all she wants is me..but she has to be sure.

so she can take time without me to be sure...and want to be with me more.

ill keep u all updated