Have no problem approaching but.....

[Beginner1]

I just wanted to say that this forum is great and the support everyone gives for another is unlike no other.

Just curious what others think.

I use to have no problem approaching girls who showed me that they were interested with a few glances or even a smile.
For some reason I am having such a very very hard time catching any type of signal from girls which use to let me know there might be some interest.
For instance when I am at my gym I do not go around staring at people so I am not trying to hard. I just for some reason can not get any type of reaction that I use to get. I am a good looking guy an in great shape.
Has anyone noticed that girls do not really show many signs at all to guys, making it harder for all of us?

It is totally impossible for me, and unless I was drunk I would never just approach someone who did not even take notice that I was in the same room as I was, impossible.

This is the only thing holding me back right now and I can not understand how other people are getting past this.

I hate to say this but I almost get the sense that most girls always think they are too good for everyone. I hope I am wrong on this.

Any thoughts on getting me beyond this would be extremely helpful.

I am 25 by the way. If age has something to do with it.

 

[FM 3321]

I am 25 by the way. If age has something to do with it. [/B]

After listening to David DeAngelo's interview series. People he's interviews range from 23-50. Even 40 year olds have no problem dating girls in thier 20's.

 

[Jariel]

If they're not giving you signals, there's a good chance they are not interested, have a boyfriend, are preoccupied with other matters and just not thinking about hooking up. I guess we all have days when the signs are scarce. You should never evaluate yourself on this.

 

[MrCode]

We could debate for hours as to why women seem cold-shouldered these days. Maybe after 100 wuss-bag AFC losers have approached them with lame lines they have decided to put up their bytch shields 24/7. But to think it is about you will just make you doubt yourself.

In my opinion it doesn't really matter what is going on with them because we, as DJs or DJs-in-training, must man-up and just approach even if they aren't showing overt signs of interest. I think this particularly applies in "real-life" situations outside of bars and clubs, since women may not be as aware of meeting guys in those environments.

A good example is in Pugsley_f5's now infamous "100 approaches" thread: the great girl who he is now seriously dating did not show any sign of interest and in fact he was almost convinced she would reject him. But for the sake of himself, his mission and even those of us here watching his progress, he approached anyway. Surprise, surprise, she ended up being the first girl to give him a phone number, and has subsequently shown a lot of interest during their dating. At the rate things are going, she might even become his wife!

The point is don't doubt yourself and don't try to put too much value on what the woman thinks of you. Just do your thing, approach, be confident, interesting and funny, and see where things go.

You make your own reality.

 

[Beginner1]

It's not so much about getting rejected.

Would you go up to someone's house who did not have a for sale sign on the lawn and make them an offer? You could but you would most likely be wasting your time. If they wanted to seel they would have a sign up. You would have 1000% better oppurtunity to buy a house if you picked up a newspaper with ads of people who are selling.

I do go to other places besides the gym.

But to be honest I would see a place like the gym being a better place than to just cold approach someone in public. More time for interaction and less of a chance of having a girl flake out which has happened too much lately for me.

When I made the comment about maybe it having to do with age, I meant when I was a little bit younger maybe 18, 19. Women would not think twice about looking at a guy with her girlfriend right next to her and let the guys know she had an interest, there was no mistaken she had interest.

 

[No Escape]

Originally posted by Beginner1
I just wanted to say that this forum is great and the support everyone gives for another is unlike no other.

Just curious what others think.

I use to have no problem approaching girls who showed me that they were interested with a few glances or even a smile.
For some reason I am having such a very very hard time catching any type of signal from girls which use to let me know there might be some interest.
For instance when I am at my gym I do not go around staring at people so I am not trying to hard. I just for some reason can not get any type of reaction that I use to get. I am a good looking guy an in great shape.
Has anyone noticed that girls do not really show many signs at all to guys, making it harder for all of us?

It is totally impossible for me, and unless I was drunk I would never just approach someone who did not even take notice that I was in the same room as I was, impossible.

This is the only thing holding me back right now and I can not understand how other people are getting past this.

I hate to say this but I almost get the sense that most girls always think they are too good for everyone. I hope I am wrong on this.

Any thoughts on getting me beyond this would be extremely helpful.

I am 25 by the way. If age has something to do with it.

I'm in the exact situation right now myself. I just posted about the same topic a few days ago. I'm 25. I got a lot of replies saying to just approach and f**k whether or not i'm getting any vibes. It's gonna take a lot of balls on my part to do this, but f**k it, i can only gain by doing this...otherswise if i just sit around relying on "vibes" like i am now, i'll probably be doomed to be undersexed for the rest of my life, which i currently feel at the moment. So, i'm gonna try this approach and see where it takes me, as much as i don't want to.

 

[MrCode]

Re: Re: Have no problem approaching but.....

Originally posted by No Escape
I'm in the exact situation right now myself. I just posted about the same topic a few days ago. I'm 25. I got a lot of replies saying to just approach and f**k whether or not i'm getting any vibes. It's gonna take a lot of balls on my part to do this, but f**k it, i can only gain by doing this...otherswise if i just sit around relying on "vibes" like i am now, i'll probably be doomed to be undersexed for the rest of my life, which i currently feel at the moment. So, i'm gonna try this approach and see where it takes me, as much as i don't want to.

It isn't easy, but that really is the DJ way. If it was easy, every AFC and their brother would be doing it. By the way, I'm in the same boat and am also going to go on a mission to get over my fear of approaching. But I have some plans to make first.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by Beginner1
It's not so much about getting rejected.

Would you go up to someone's house who did not have a for sale sign on the lawn and make them an offer? You could but you would most likely be wasting your time. If they wanted to seel they would have a sign up. You would have 1000% better oppurtunity to buy a house if you picked up a newspaper with ads of people who are selling.

An absolutely perfect analogy! I'd really like to see this preserved for more beginners to see.

 

[sapphire]

Originally posted by MrCode
We could debate for hours as to why women seem cold-shouldered these days. Maybe after 100 wuss-bag AFC losers have approached them with lame lines they have decided to put up their bytch shields 24/7. But to think it is about you will just make you doubt yourself.

In my opinion it doesn't really matter what is going on with them because we, as DJs or DJs-in-training, must man-up and just approach even if they aren't showing overt signs of interest. I think this particularly applies in "real-life" situations outside of bars and clubs, since women may not be as aware of meeting guys in those environments.

A good example is in Pugsley_f5's now infamous "100 approaches" thread: the great girl who he is now seriously dating did not show any sign of interest and in fact he was almost convinced she would reject him. But for the sake of himself, his mission and even those of us here watching his progress, he approached anyway. Surprise, surprise, she ended up being the first girl to give him a phone number, and has subsequently shown a lot of interest during their dating. At the rate things are going, she might even become his wife!

The point is don't doubt yourself and don't try to put too much value on what the woman thinks of you. Just do your thing, approach, be confident, interesting and funny, and see where things go.

You make your own reality.

I could not have said it better. It reminds me when sometime ago I was debating on whether or not to approach this super HB Latin beauty I saw at a club one night. She was easily a 9.5 with one of the hottest bodies I ever saw. In fact she would put Jalo to shame. Even though I was almost sure she would reject me, I said to myself, fyck it, I have nothing to lose. Well, I gathered the courage to approach as all the other guys were obviously too intimidated as she was standing by the bar by herself with drink in hand.

Without going too much into detail, my approach turned into a 4 month relationship that including the most mind boggling sex I ever had.

The point is you will never know until you try.