Have I messed up a bit here?

[SoulMan13]

There's this HB8.5 that I met at a college gathering just before Christmas. We knew each other previously from our early high school days and we used to be really into each other. She started giving me IOI's so I number closed.

So I texted her on Christmas day saying Have a good Christmas. She replied saying Thank you I hope you do too babe don't drink too much!xox. Then next day she initiated contact asking if I had a good Christmas and she initiated contact the day after that too and we exchanged a few texts.

So after that a few days went by and she didn't initiate so I decided to call her. We had a 15 minute phone call and as soon as I put the phone down she texted me. The text conversation went like this (I tried to keep it short as I had just spoken to her):

Her: My stomach hurts I think it was from that restaurant I ate at the other day!xox
Me: Uh oh you might of caught that bug, it eats you from the inside until there's nothing left...xox
Her: Oh no!! I might not see you next year nowxox
Me: Well it looks like we have to say our good byes with a midnight kiss on NYE then!xox (This conversation was the night before NYE)
Her: Lol what are we like! I still need to find plansxox
Me: Well if you don't find anything soon we'll go out and find something, hit me up xox
Her: By the way you need to put this face next to your my name in your phone book and we'll be matching!xox
Me: What if I don't want to match?!xox
Her: I thought it was a great ideaxox
Me: Well I guess I can make an exception this one time since you bought me that drink the other day. Don't get used to it though!xox
Her: Yayyy xox
Me: You better feel special right now xox
Her: I dooo xox
End of conversation. All her replies were quick even when I took around an hour to text her back. She never texted me on New Years day to wish me a happy new year though.

After that conversation she didn't initiate again so I decided to try out a text opener that was recommended to me (I'm trying to work on my text game). It was the one where you send the blank text and then she asks why you send that and you say she doesn't have to make excuses to talk to you etc etc. However, I saw that she read the blank text but didn't replied so I texted her saying Sorry, I didn't mean to send that xo to make it seem like I wasn't just begging for her attention. She also read that but never replied and looking back at it I think it was quite an AFC text to send.

Should I leave her now and wait for her to initiate with me. Or should I leave a few days and text/call her again and pretend that never happened. Also where do you think her IL is at right now?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

So I texted her on Christmas day saying Have a good Christmas. She replied saying Thank you I hope you do too babe don't drink too much!xox. Then next day she initiated contact asking if I had a good Christmas and she initiated contact the day after that too and we exchanged a few texts.

You should've asked her to get together right here. She is showing interest, assume the sale young jedi.

She also read that but never replied and looking back at it I think it was quite an AFC text to send.

It was pointless; see the problem is your scared to get rejected. So your trying to find different "safe" ways to handle this opportunity. And if you continue down this path you will lose what you should have had.

Should I leave her now and wait for her to initiate with me. Or should I leave a few days and text/call her again and pretend that never happened. Also where do you think her IL is at right now?

Leave it alone for a couple days, contact her, flirt for a minute; then ask her to hang out. Have a plan in mind. Lets go to X spot; I'm free X-day or Y-day at 8pm. What works for you?

Always have a plan in mind and always have a couple different options in terms of availability.

Your over-analyzing a simple situation. She's interested, but if you continue down this path, that interest will evaporate fast.










PIMP

 

[trent_afc]

I'm no expert, but why didn't you ask her out on that 15 minute phone call? That was the time to strike. She doesn't want to be text/chat buddies, she wants your c*ck.

As for now, I'd wait a few days, then call her up and ask her out. Keep the chit chat to a minimum, the objective is to get a date. Her response will tell you her IL. If she turns you down with no counter offer, wait a week with no contact. Then call and ask her out again, and if she does the same, flush the number and drill the lesson into your head so you won't make the same mistake next time.

 

[DarkDetective50]

Her: My stomach hurts I think it was from that restaurant I ate at the other day!xox
Me: Uh oh you might of caught that bug, it eats you from the inside until there's nothing left...xox
Her: Oh no!! I might not see you next year nowxox

At this point, you should have said "We should meet up for drinks or coffee or bowling or whatever before that bug eats you all up then".

Her: By the way change your cover photo on Facebook and we'll be matching!xox
Me: What if I don't want to match?!xox
Her: I thought it was a great ideaxox
Me: Well I guess I can make an exception this one time. Don't get used to it!xox

Kind of weird how you just submitted to her here. All you did was come across as one of her typical beta orbiters. Should have said "I like my cover photo the way it is".

Why are you sending her blank texts and excuses? Texting is for building a short rapport and asking out as soon as possible not pointless back and forth banter for days or even weeks.

If she didn't reply to three of your texts in a row, it's a wrap. You failed. Accept that failure, learn from it and move on.

 

[VladPatton]

Over-gamed it, man. Why did you take an hour to reply to each text? Come on, man, she was waiting there, answered all of your cutesy texts yet you didn't pull the trigger to ask her out. Why? Exactly what constellation alignment are you waiting for to ask her out. Try for a Hail Mary now.

Wait a week or so, and text/call her saying you haven't heard from her. Ask her about her stomach issue, then if it goes well, ask her to meet you at a place on XXXday so you two can catch up. Simple. Yes=Date, No=Better Luck Next Time.

 

[Big Nuts]

If she never called/texted you on NYE, then she was on all 4's getting plugged in both holes that night.

 

[SoulMan13]

Kind of weird how you just submitted to her here. All you did was come across as one of her typical beta orbiters. Should have said "I like my cover photo the way it is".

I think I was just trying to end the conversation. It just struck me how beta some of those texts come across as, however, I'm nothing like that in person with her so I guess that saves face a bit?

Why are you sending her blank texts and excuses? Texting is for building a short rapport and asking out as soon as possible not pointless back and forth banter for days or even weeks.

As I'm in college a lot of girls are big on texting and honestly, that is not a strong point of my game I'm much better face to face so it was recommended that I work on text game and the blank text blah blah blah was supposed to be a good opener so I thought why not. Self improvement and all that.

If she didn't reply to three of your texts in a row, it's a wrap. You failed. Accept that failure, learn from it and move on.

She hasn't not replied to three of my texts in a row.

Over-gamed it, man. Why did you take an hour to reply to each text? Come on, man, she was waiting there, answered all of your cutesy texts yet you didn't pull the trigger to ask her out. Why? Exactly what constellation alignment are you waiting for to ask her out. Try for a Hail Mary now.

I wasn't purposefully waiting long periods to reply to each text. I was busy doing other stuff and at one point was on the phone to another girl so I replied to the texts when I looked at my phone whether it was 15 minutes, 30 minutes or an hour later that's what it was. Honestly, because we have been involved before and she was incredibly flakey and that was when she was really into me. I knew I was probably going to get a "Aww sorry, I'm busy on that day!" answer so I was trying to build her attraction up a bit more.

Wait a week or so, and text/call her saying you haven't heard from her. Ask her about her stomach issue, then if it goes well, ask her to meet you at a place on XXXday so you two can catch up. Simple. Yes=Date, No=Better Luck Next Time.

We return to college on Wednesday so do you think it would be a better idea to just not contact her until I see her around at college then speak to her in person since I prefer that anyway?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Honestly, because we have been involved before and she was incredibly flakey and that was when she was really into me. I knew I was probably going to get a "Aww sorry, I'm busy on that day!" answer so I was trying to build her attraction up a bit more.

A girl who is really into you, is not incredibly flakey.

Part of winning with girls is assuming the sale; your response above shows you expected to fail. How do you build up attraction when you expect to lose?

We return to college on Wednesday so do you think it would be a better idea to just not contact her until I see her around at college then speak to her in person since I prefer that anyway?

Your getting lost in the trees.

Being busy and waiting to text etc are all good and all, but that's when the girl has interest in you.

That attraction can disappear pretty quickly when there's minimal investment on her part.

You said you were involved before? How do you mean? Did you guys bang? Did you date? Did you like her before and she as giving you signs, but you didn't pull the trigger? Explain that in more detail.








PIMP

 

[SoulMan13]

Part of winning with girls is assuming the sale; your response above shows you expected to fail. How do you build up attraction when you expect to lose?

That is definitely true. However, I don't feel it was that I came in with an expectation of failure I just didn't feel at that moment in time my invitation would be accepted.

You said you were involved before? How do you mean? Did you guys bang? Did you date? Did you like her before and she as giving you signs, but you didn't pull the trigger? Explain that in more detail.

She was very attracted to me for about 1 and a half years. She would talk about me a lot to her friends and they would relay that information to me as I was close with her social group at the time. I had been round to her house previously but nothing happened except cuddling as she had invited her best friend and a male friend of mine too (she used to be pretty shy). I was interested in her a little bit, however, I saw her as more of a LTR type and at the time I was just looking for a bang so I ended up dating one of her good friends instead (big mistake).

After that she became mad/jealous/upset, I told her I didn't know she saw me like that and that I saw her as more of a sister type (tried to let her down gently) and she became hostile to me and cut me off. She refused to talk to me for around 3 to 4 years until we bumped into each other recently.

As I said she used to be pretty shy but she seems to be more outgoing/confident now. I know she's only ever had 1 boyfriend in her life and that was after me, I guess you could say I was her "first love" or "big crush". I'm stuck with her as I don't know if the IOI's and the interest she's showing me is more affection like and I just remind her of back then which is why she seems so happy and comfortable around me? If I'm speaking to her at college sometimes I'll catch her just staring at me and smiling out the corner of my eye but as soon as I make eye contact she looks away instantly.

 

[SoulMan13]

Update:

She replied to the text earlier today.

Her: It's okay! Guess what I did yesterday xox
Me: What?xox
Her: Went to watch this new scary movie at the movie theatre, I've forgotten the name of it though!!xox
Me: I know you can't handle your scary movies I bet you were screaming all the way through! Who did you go with?xox
Her: I did a little bit and my friend xo

Now I asked who she went with as she has been liking a lot of cryptic status' that this other dude has been writing on Facebook recently. Status' such as: "I love what we've got" and "We're not a secret but it's our business". Also, it turns out that that same guy went to go watch the exact same movie on the same day as one of our mutual friends told me. He's not sure whether they went together or not though. Would you say she's interested in the other guy and this is a lost cause for me or is "My princess is in another castle" as Nismo would say lol? And if she is why doesn't she just straight up tell me she went with another dude/is interested in another dude?

 

[thatfeel]

Holy sh!t this is cringeworthy stuff.

 

[SoulMan13]

Holy sh!t this is cringeworthy stuff.

I already know. It's like she's come along and I've completely forgotten how to game a girl lol. She's got me acting like a b*tch and I don't even know why. I'm even embarrassed to write out some of the sh!t I've said.

 

[trent_afc]

She's got you acting like a b*tch because you're holding on too tight. So you're stalking her on facebook and acting all jealous? Yet you won't ask her out? Come on man. And please stop with the "xoxo"s! The other dude is (or soon to be) her new FB and/or being used to make you jealous.

Sounds like she was into you when you were unavailable/a challenge. Now you're getting all AFC on her, and could very well kill her attraction. You're too available. Call her up, set up a date for tuesday night, and go ghost until then. You're supposed to be busy this weekend doing something other than waiting for her text messages. Or, if you're not actually busy and just sitting there waiting for her texts, she's not supposed to get that impression.

 

[Jariel]

You're overthinking everything man! This must be frying your brain!

When every text you send to a girl has a strategy behind it, then you're going to fall flat on your face purely because you're too uptight.

Relax!! Have fun. Stop thinking about the end goal with this chick, stop being so scared to lose what you don't have and just enjoy the interractions, ask her on a date.

That said, this all reminds me of myself many years ago. I was so analytical and afraid of rejection. But if you can talk to women with a carefree attitude you will find you will go a lot further.

Unfortunately, you have to experience some rejections along the way. I doubt there is any man in this world who hasn't be rejected at least once.

 

[DarkDetective50]

Smh.

 

[Greasy Pig]

As Trent said, STOP with the xox after every message. It reeks of desperation and femininity. Men don't put that **** in texts to girls they haven't fvcked and even then I wouldn't do it unless it was my girlfriend texting me good night.
Set up a date, be a cool dude and escalate at any opportunity.
This other chump looks like he's already got his hooks in but there's only one way to find out. Grab your balls and go for it.