Hater move?

[oc16]

My friend and I were at a bar tonight sitting at a small table. Behind us were four very attractive women (probably mid 20's).

Out of nowhere an older guy (maybe 60's) sits himself down at their table and starts chatting with them. From what I can tell, he wasn't being disrespectful and the women didn't seem to mind he was there.

At another table nearby, were another two guys and a woman. They looked they were also in their late 50's, early 60's. The one guy (at the table with the two other old folks) gets up and tells the other guy (with the young women) "Why don't you get out of here" and he makes the gesture with his hand. I thought he was kidding with him and perhaps part of his group. However, the two men did not know each other.

The guy at the table with the young women just smiled and said "What we are just having a friendly conversation". Once again, I did not hear any objection from the young women.

The older lady at the table also yelled to the guy "Are one of those girls your daughter"? The guy of course answers "No". "Then why don't you get up and get out of here. The guy finally got up and left. The older lady then says to the young women "See girls, no guy is going to mess with you tonight"!

The more I think about it, the more this pisses me off. The guy didn't seem to be bothering them and the women did not object (At least from my observation.) These were four grown women, they could of easily told the guy to leave if he was annoying them.

However, my back was turned to the women and I did not see their body language.

I think the other old guy was just being a HATER since he wishes that was him at that table. People need to mind their own GD business!

 

[Serenity]

He wasn't just being a hater, he was being a classic white knight. Had I been the old guy sitting with the young women I would never have left unless the young women expressed that my presence was unwanted. I would have told the other old people to mind their own business and continued to pretend they don't exist.

 

[oc16]

He wasn't just being a hater, he was being a classic white knight. Had I been the old guy sitting with the young women I would never have left unless the young women expressed that my presence was unwanted. I would have told the other old people to mind their own business and continued to pretend they don't exist.

Glad you agree

 

[Atom Smasher]

It could be that these girls were looking at each other, rolling their eyes, etc., indicating to the older folks that they were uncomfortable with this guy at their table. In fact I would say that’s pretty likely.
it could also be that these people knew this guy who was sitting with the girls and knew he was a creep.

 

[oc16]

It could be that these girls were looking at each other, rolling their eyes, etc., indicating to the older folks that they were uncomfortable with this guy at their table. In fact I would say that’s pretty likely.
it could also be that these people knew this guy who was sitting with the girls and knew he was a creep.

Also a possibility

 

[Romanemp22]

He's not their pimp to protect them. If some radnom guy tries to tell me to go away from women I'm with, he's the one who will be going away with a broken jaw.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

He's not their pimp to protect them. If some radnom guy tries to tell me to go away from women I'm with, he's the one who will be going away with a broken jaw.

Its nosey people making assumptions

 

[TheProspect]

If some radnom guy tries to tell me to go away from women I'm with, he's the one who will be going away with a broken jaw.

Lol there’s probably more artful ways of dealing with such a situation without risking legal repercussions or demonstrating a lack of self-control

 

[Romanemp22]

Lol there’s probably more artful ways of dealing with such a situation without risking legal repercussions or demonstrating a lack of self-control

I got away with it before.

 

[oc16]

I got away with it before.

Not worth it man

 

[rjc149]

I guess you can't confirm whether the young women were giving visual cues of their discomfort, but it's a fairly universal given that attractive 20-something women don't want a random grandpa inviting himself to their table to run game on them.

Whether we like them or not, there are social customs and norms that we abide by to remain standing members of human society. Elderly men attempting pickup on women young enough to be their daughters is universally regarded as inappropriate, and I really don't give a fvck what the pickup community has to say about the acceptability of multi-decade age gaps, ie it's "baller!" or whatever. It's not. Sh!t is borderline creepy. Even if the guy is Billy Joel or Leo DiCaprio. The whole Hugh Hefner situation really weirded me the fvck out.

The other man, from an older generation where white knight chivalry was celebrated, took it upon himself to enforce that social custom that all of us are aware of.

Now, appeasing and complying with a stranger attempting to assert dominance over you is a b!tch move and if he's willing to take it to blows, you need to show that you're willing to meet him there. This usually results in a mutual decision to back down. It's also a social custom to regard middle-aged men getting into bar fights as extremely immature and low value.

I'm with feminism on this one. If these grown-ass women had a problem with grandpa sitting himself down at their table trying to spit game, they can handle it for themselves.

 

[zekko]

it's a fairly universal given that attractive 20-something women don't want a random grandpa inviting himself to their table to run game on them.

I'm trying to think of a reason why grandpa would sit there other than to "run game", but I can't think of any lol. Maybe he was really drunk? I agree with Atom Smasher, it's possible they knew this guy and what he was about. I guess they were being blockers regardless, but it's hard to get too upset about it.

 

[rjc149]

I'm trying to think of a reason why grandpa would sit there other than to "run game", but I can't think of any lol. Maybe he was really drunk? I agree with Atom Smasher, it's possible they knew this guy and what he was about. I guess they were being blockers regardless, but it's hard to get too upset about it.

A heavily intoxicated senior citizen trying to chat up a group of 20-something women at a private table cannot be reasonably construed as anything other than an unwelcome interruption if not harassment. The women may have been tolerating it out of politeness or amusement, but I can feel pretty assured that it was unwelcome.

There’s an old man around my parts who used to be out at bars on weekend nights, very drunk, hitting on young girls and running his mouth. But he’s a old man, so no one younger would start sh!t with him and confront him. They just laughed him off or got out of his way and avoided him. So maybe someone closer to him in age would feel more obligated to deal with him.

 

[zekko]

A heavily intoxicated senior citizen trying to chat up a group of 20-something women at a private table cannot be reasonably construed as anything other than an unwelcome interruption if not harassment.

I'm probably close to that guy's age, and I resent the implication that I'm not allowed to interact with young people. But I agree he was probably making a pest of himself.

 

[rjc149]

I'm probably close to that guy's age, and I resent the implication that I'm not allowed to interact with young people. But I agree he was probably making a pest of himself.

The implication isn’t that an older man is forbidden from interacting with young people. This is specifically regarding an intoxicated older man attempting to initiate an interaction with a women 30-40 years his junior with sexual intent. If you can reasonably argue that this man’s only intention was to make new friends with a bevy of attractive 20-something women, I’ll hear it out.

An intoxicated man interrupting a group of women seated at a private table and sitting himself down uninvited is also regarded as a social faux pas, whether he’s 25 or 65.

I meant no offense but there are, unfortunately, activities and behaviors that become less appropriate with age. In my opinion, that includes bar hopping on weekend nights running game on women in their 20’s when you’re in your 60’s.

 

[TheProspect]

The implication isn’t that an older man is forbidden from interacting with young people. This is specifically regarding an intoxicated older man attempting to initiate an interaction with a women 30-40 years his junior with sexual intent. If you can reasonably argue that this man’s only intention was to make new friends with a bevy of attractive 20-something women, I’ll hear it out.

An intoxicated man interrupting a group of women seated at a private table and sitting himself down uninvited is also regarded as a social faux pas, whether he’s 25 or 65.

I meant no offense but there are, unfortunately, activities and behaviors that become less appropriate with age. In my opinion, that includes bar hopping on weekend nights running game on women in their 20’s when you’re in your 60’s.

OP didn’t mention if the man was intoxicated nor if he had sexual intentions. Those are just assumptions you made.

While an older man interacting with much younger girls can be considered (or perceived) as a faux pas depending on the context, it doesn’t mean a platonic and friendly conversation is impossible.

I agree that an intoxicated 60-year old hitting on 20-year old girls can be seen as weird, but if those girls are into it, or they’re okay with it, then who the fvck cares. Given the information OP provided, this seems to be the case he’s making.

 

[zekko]

An intoxicated man interrupting a group of women seated at a private table and sitting himself down uninvited is also regarded as a social faux pas, whether he’s 25 or 65.

Like TheProspect said, there was nothing in the story that said the guy was drunk or that he had sexual intent. Although either or both are probably likely. But it could also be that the older women at the next table didn't like that he was giving attention to younger, attractive women - and the older guy at the next table could have been either jealous, or white knighting. We don't really have all the information.

As for sitting down uninvited at a private table, I recall many PUA gurus who taught to do just that. In fact, there's a "spin move" taught where you actually take one of the girls' seats, and another move is placing yourself in the center of the group. I find many PUA moves obnoxious, however.

 

[Lordeterra]

My friend and I were at a bar tonight sitting at a small table. Behind us were four very attractive women (probably mid 20's).

Out of nowhere an older guy (maybe 60's) sits himself down at their table and starts chatting with them. From what I can tell, he wasn't being disrespectful and the women didn't seem to mind he was there.

At another table nearby, were another two guys and a woman. They looked they were also in their late 50's, early 60's. The one guy (at the table with the two other old folks) gets up and tells the other guy (with the young women) "Why don't you get out of here" and he makes the gesture with his hand. I thought he was kidding with him and perhaps part of his group. However, the two men did not know each other.

The guy at the table with the young women just smiled and said "What we are just having a friendly conversation". Once again, I did not hear any objection from the young women.

The older lady at the table also yelled to the guy "Are one of those girls your daughter"? The guy of course answers "No". "Then why don't you get up and get out of here. The guy finally got up and left. The older lady then says to the young women "See girls, no guy is going to mess with you tonight"!

The more I think about it, the more this pisses me off. The guy didn't seem to be bothering them and the women did not object (At least from my observation.) These were four grown women, they could of easily told the guy to leave if he was annoying them.

However, my back was turned to the women and I did not see their body language.

I think the other old guy was just being a HATER since he wishes that was him at that table. People need to mind their own GD business!

if i was ruler of the world i would legitametelly execute every beta, weak, hater in existence. Seriously. Nothing. NOTHING. I hate more than jealous little bitches.

 

[rjc149]

OP didn’t mention if the man was intoxicated nor if he had sexual intentions. Those are just assumptions you made.

While an older man interacting with much younger girls can be considered (or perceived) as a faux pas depending on the context, it doesn’t mean a platonic and friendly conversation is impossible.

I agree that an intoxicated 60-year old hitting on 20-year old girls can be seen as weird, but if those girls are into it, or they’re okay with it, then who the fvck cares. Given the information OP provided, this seems to be the case he’s making.

I'm going with Occam's Razor here. Although I did not personally witness the incident, there is enough circumstantial evidence to assume that a man, who has been drinking alcohol at a bar, is proactively initiating interaction with sexually attractive young women because he's interested in them sexually. Of course he could have been drinking seltzer water and simply seeking to make new platonic friendships. That is possible. However I feel my assumption and my understanding of the context here are both pretty safe.

Now, I don't care beyond a momentary reaction of slight amusement, and possibly even some disdain, when I see older men behaving in a way that I don't feel is age-appropriate. A middle-aged or elderly man at nightlife venues running pickup on women 40 years younger than him falls under that purview. I'm not going to go confront him, because that's not my place and it's none of my business. But it doesn't mean I think it's totally fine and cool and normal.

At 36, I'm getting to an age where I am the creepy dude trying to haul 21-year olds from the club at 2AM. It doesn't mean talking to 21-year old women is off-limits, or that a sexual relationship between consenting adults of different ages is somehow inappropriate. But there are contexts, and situations, where initiating such a relationship is immature for a man my age, and no, I no longer run game on 21-year old women in nightclubs. I'm too old for that sh!t.

 

[rjc149]

But it could also be that the older women at the next table didn't like that he was giving attention to younger, attractive women - and the older guy at the next table could have been either jealous, or white knighting. We don't really have all the information.

It's possible that the older women were jealous and vindictive and wanted to punish this man for passing them over... I just think it was readily apparent, to all observers, that this man's behavior was possibly unwelcome, either due to his age, level of intoxication or simply by being an interruption. I'm going to assume it was a combination of all three.