Hate to ask about a specific girl, but she's super high quality!

[Kenny Powers]

Normally I rarely post about a specific situation and one as lame as this, but I recently lost a girl after being an AFC cause I thought both she and I were above this bs (WRONG!) - so I swore to utilize this site more. Also this girl is easily a 9, very smart, classy, new to the area (so few friends - at least for what she's probably used to haha), and is basically LTR material - or at least I thought so until now.

Quick background: Met at party, she's tipsy and flirty. I get digits and say we should get something to eat sometime, she agrees. We have trouble planning date because this is around christmas and we both have finals and are out of town for a while. After 5 weeks from initially meeting (we had mini conversations 4 times in that span, where it was very clear we would meet up when both back in town and i usually took my time texting her back so as to not come on too strong) we eventually meet for lunch.

Date: I'm 5 min late and she's waiting outside for me but apologize and use it as an excuse to pay (at which point she touches my arm when thanking me - yay!) I'm sweating a lil cause i literally ran over from where i parked haha but we have a ridiculously good rapport right off the bat and are already joking around like we know each other (my job requires good people and networking skills so I'm very good at being comfortable around people and getting them to feel the same)

I'm literally blown away by how good looking and high quality she is (was drunk when we met and didnt remember). I meet tons of girls during night game and rarely ever get dates out it, especially after 5 weeks and here I am with this awesome girl. I'm decent looking, but ridiculously confident and comfortable when we converse - not afraid to be intellectual and use self-deprecating humor (I'm fairly witty). I open up a bit, but spin the truth to make me sound like a more decent human being than I am haha (she's a good person).

We talk for 2 hours, but I dont even notice because the conversation is so good! Never an awkward pause, have a lot in common and great rapport - she never checks her phone. I may have talked too much though which might not have come off well. Also i had to lean in when she spoke (i usually lean back nonchalantly) because she spoke softly. Bit of a slip up near the end when I try to make plans for a second date and she doesn't really commit (she's very busy), but says she's usually free tuesdays and Saturdays. I walk her to her car hug and say we should do it again and that I'll text her.

I don't contact her whatsoever for 4 days then text her - "hey how've you been, like your classes so far?" No response whatsoever! She never took more than a few hours to respond to me in the past and I usually sent very similar texts.

I'm going to text her again in case this is a shiit test. but I'm wondering what to text (straight up invite her out again or start with small talk?) and when (3 days, a week?) Also does anybody have incite into what is going on. Is she so taken aback by my nonchalance despite her beauty and classiness that she's testing me? Is she not interested (most likely at this point)? Should I have gone in for the kiss (she's pretty classy and ltr material)? Did I talk too much?

I know it sounds like I'm obsessing but like I said I basically ignored sosuave principles with the last girl I pursued and then lost her because of it. I'm actually fine if I lose her because I'm not attached and I have other plates right now including a date tonight :woo: and a job that keeps me busy. I've gotten attention from hot girls in the past, but she's easily one of the hottest so maybe she's just got better options. Still wtf?!

 

[VladPatton]

Danger has a valid point. Don't count your chickens before they hatch. For now, just chill, man. Send her another text, and if she answers, set up another date, simple. If she STILL ignores you, then that's it, you gotta go radio silent, nothing more you can really do without reeking of desperation, clinginess and neediness. These girls don't know what they want.

 

[Jitterbug]

You have a strange way of defining high quality, OP. Stop getting overly excited.

 

[Plutoman]

Good sections are green. Bad are red.

and is basically LTR material

Judging without knowing her.

I'm 5 min late

This is good. Make her anxious, she's wondering about you.

she's waiting outside for me but apologize and use it as an excuse to pay

Don't apologize. Pay, but don't give excuses, don't supplicate, don't make it up to her. Pay because you want to, because it's no big deal to you. Don't pay because she's pretty and on a date with you, either. Just take it and pay like you don't even care. Right here you gave the vibe that she's better than you, that you are trying to make it up to her.

I'm sweating a lil cause i literally ran over from where i parked haha

Too excited, too interested - she can tell.

I meet tons of girls during night game and rarely ever get dates out it, especially after 5 weeks and here I am with this awesome girl

Too needy, too excited, assuming her personality before knowing her. All you know is she's hot.

use self-deprecating humor

Minimize it. Some is okay, don't use too much though. It'll make you look bad. Would you be interested in a girl that made witty comments about how she sucks at everything?

We talk for 2 hours

Too long. Make her want to get to know you more, instead of knowing all there is and thinking huh, I know this guy in and out after two hours?

Bit of a slip up near the end when I try to make plans for a second date and she doesn't really commit (she's very busy)

Don't make plans on the date, and not wanting to commit means she's not entirely sure.

I walk her to her car hug and say we should do it again and that I'll text her

Be more aggressive. Probably should've been more aggressive during the date, though, because otherwise it would be pretty incongruent.

No response whatsoever! She never took more than a few hours to respond to me in the past and I usually sent very similar texts

She's not interested.

I just went through a similar situation, just a few weeks ago.

This girl is just a girl. Who cares how hot she is? She's still just a girl. You put her up so high on the pedestal, and she could tell. You gave every sign that she was way above you on the totem pole, and if she feels that - she's not going to date you, no matter what rapport you achieve.

I'm just going to say it - it's extraordinarily unlikely to go anywhere. Might as well try a second text, though, just don't expect anything.

Realize that these are all little things that add up. Not one of those actions was a big screw-up. Each one individually would have been fine. It was the collection of them that sunk you. These are all things easily fixed in your attitude with a bit of practice.

This post probably seems harsh, but it's all intended to be constructive - these are all the little things you can easily fix in your interactions.

 

[Fly By Night]

I recently lost a girl after being an AFC cause I thought both she and I were above this bs (WRONG!)

Very wrong. Since when did we say being an AFC works?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

It amazes me how people can say a girl is LTR material after hanging out once.

They truth is they are so into the girl because of her looks, that they associate her beauty with the quality of her character which has no relation and ironically usually the girls who are very attractive, use it to get what they want. In other words, they know how to manipulate and many of them have poor character, not all, but many.

Aside from that, it doesn't sound like you escalated the initial attraction that you guys had at the party. You didn't touch her, you didn't excite her.... you came off as more a friend.

Additionally you tried to ask her out for a 2nd date while still on the 1st one and not knowing whether she was feeling it the way you were.

I don't know why people think waiting X amount of days to call a girl after getting her # or going on a date is a good idea UNLESS they girl already has confirmed high interest in you. If you wait 3-4 days to call a girl who doesn't have high interest in you, all it will make her do is more likely to forget about you and lose interest.

Lastly, your text after the date was weak. Asking her how her classes are isn't doing anything for moving you closer to getting a 2nd date. Use text to flirt, make statements for the most part rather than questions and set up a date.

I would wait it out a day or two to see if she actually replies to your text. If not, hit her up one more time with something witty and interesting. If she has any interest in you, she will at least reply and then you can work on it from there.









PIMP

 

[pdx1138]

They truth is they are so into the girl because of her looks, that they associate her beauty with the quality of her character which has no relation and ironically usually the girls who are very attractive, use it to get what they want. In other words, they know how to manipulate and many of them have poor character, not all, but many.

You can say that again.

I had a HUGE oneitus for a client of mine for way too long. (actually what lead me to this forum in 2006)
I did eventually meet up with her after hours a few times.

The more I got to know her the less I liked. And she was a solid 9 in my world.

At her core she's a cruel, heartless, back-stabbing (I witnessed) femcvnt.
No relationships beyond a few months and still alone at 40 and single to this day...no wonder.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

At her core she's a cruel, heartless, back-stabbing (I witnessed) femcvnt.
No relationships beyond a few months and still alone at 40 and single to this day...no wonder.

She also probably asks "where are all the GOOD men?" :crackup: :crackup:

Hiding from girls like you b1tch.

 

[pdx1138]

^^ya and she's got a steady supply of AFC orbiters sucking her A$$ on FB every day too, of course.

All of them friendzoned when her girlfriends comment/ask which one she's dating.

 

[Kenny Powers]

Update: I texted her 3 days later, simply asking "whats your view on fireballs?" - a well known drink at a bar we both go to. She replies an hour later
-"Sorry I didn't text back, things have been crazy and now i have the flu. I like fireballs though haha"
-I respond: "lucky for you i like them too. maybe when you're feeling better i can take you to get one"
-she doesn't respond back


Thoughts on how to play this? Is there hope?

Keep in mind: I don't consider her hq just due to looks, trust me all around solid girl. Though now obviously her value has greatly decreased. Also as i initially stated im tryin to drop my afc nature when i get close to girls (total alfa at bars) and this is girl is great practice because she's so attractive and hq. Honestly at this point I care more about winning the game than winning her if that makes sense. I'll be bummed if i lose her but won't have any trouble going on to the next.

 

[zinc4]

I hate to be so negative here, but my guess is you have already been friendzoned...i just friendzoned one of my plates because i am back with my on and off again LTR GF and i used the same exact busy/flu excuse this Sunday on her....i would still try if i were you, but don't get your hopes up...

also from a fundamental perspective, why are you so into her so quickly? and why did you not make a move on her on the date if there was good beginning kino and a great conversation....next time look for excuses to touch her and lead her with your hand on her back or tugging her hand very briefly and then a good moment to gently put your hand on her chin and pull her to your lips to kiss her...if it is too shocking at first for her, try again and be aggressive with it at least lightly kissing her on the face near the lips on on the lips and then progressing.....

a first date without a kiss is not good IMO...quick way to be friendzoned unless the girl is just super into you...of course there are a lot of exceptions..if you do get that second date, you better seal the deal with kino and kissing at the very least...once a girl kisses a guy her emotions get involved and that's what you want emotions from her...

 

[pinkfl]

She isn't high quality if she got so drunk she didn't remember meeting you.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Youve lost her fore sure. You have zero chance with her. If she were the least bit interested she would keep the text conversation going. Chalk it up to chemistry and charge ahead.

 

[VladPatton]

First it takes her an hour to reply, then she doesn't after your date request. She didn't even bother making a counteroffer. Go ghost and let her be, stop obsessing. She most likely has several aṣṣ licking orbiters, so if she really digs you, she'll contact you.

Relationships can dissolve very fast, so stop obsessing on her and declaring she is high quality. It's too premature. Come to grips that her interest is possibly low.

Reverse the roles. Imagine some ugly chick you didn't find attractive pestering you all the time and wanting to mount you constantly. That would be annoying. You'd run for the hills, not text back, act flakey, you'd have low interest, right?

Do yourself a favor and delete her number and when she contacts you it'll pop back up and you'll have a better gauge of her interest.

 

[Kenny Powers]

appreciate the solid advice, def just gonna move on at this point and if she wants to contact me, great. Learned from this experience too and will be more aggressive on the first date - think that have been my major problem. Just assumed she was too classy and wouldn't be into it.

 

[zinc4]

appreciate the solid advice, def just gonna move on at this point and if she wants to contact me, great. Learned from this experience too and will be more aggressive on the first date - think that have been my major problem. Just assumed she was too classy and wouldn't be into it.

You assumed she was classy and now she assumes you are boring.

Rule #1: Never assume anything good about a woman you don't know.

Also, plenty of classy women kiss and even shag on first dates if they are really feeling the guy.

 

[BeDJ]

Using tardiness as an excuse to pay is a sign of weak frame. It subtly projects that her value is higher than yours. Without a reset, the date was dead from the get go.

Women love talking so good conversation isn't a reliable indicator of interest. A good way to gauge is to intentionally leave that awkward silence. Sit back and see how she reacts to it. If she follows with a question about you, good interest. Also, you give off a vibe that you are comfortable under your own skin. Talking too much will kill a date, let her do 80% and ask questions most of the time. You create mystery because she knows little about you. Pick up on her hot buttons and use that to your advantage.

When you can't hear her, don't move. Say you didn't hear her, if she leans in, good indicator of interest.
Trying to plan another date shows eagerness, which may have been the nail in the coffin.

Lastly, I know it is up for debate, but I ALWAYS go for the kiss at the end. If she turns her cheek or gives a BS excuse why she doesn't kiss on the first date, 90% of the time, she is not interested. I would feel more awkward giving a hug than going for the kiss.

Her not responding or reaching out to you after the first date is not a sh!t test. It shows little or no interest in you. Atom and Vlad are spot on. NEXT.

 

[5string]

You are obsessing bigtime. Plus, you are timid.

Put on the gloves, step into the ring and go for the win. You know what you want right? Get in there and get some.

Sorry to get down on you but geez, get her off that pedestal and get her into bed.

If she says no, so what. If she says yes, tear it up.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Can we take off the gloves once we're in bed?

 

[5string]

Can we take off the gloves once we're in bed?

Not the latex gloves!