Has the nightlife scene changed, or is it just me?

[squirrels]

I'm not sure which it is. All I know is that I can't get enthused about going to a crowded bar or nightclub and hunting chicks any more.

Maybe I'm just off my game. But honestly, I don't enjoy it. Bars and nightclubs used to be open social situations, but now everyone is a lot more guarded and I just don't have the energy to break into sets and stuff. Plus I feel like the women, beautiful as they may be, are just BORING.

Then again, this could all be projection, but the bottom line is I don't enjoy going to places like that. There's nothing to do there but drink and try to scream lines into some girl's ear over the din of the music and the crowd.

I dunno how you guys psyche yourselves up for it. I know the real PUAs pretty much tremble with anticipation at the idea of "gaming". I used to feel that way, when I was still a virgin and the idea of scooping up a lady out of a nightclub for animal sex was a HUGE deal. That thrill is gone.

Now I feel like I'm going out because I feel like I SHOULD, and because my normal hobbies don't introduce me to women. It's a crummy default environment. Especially on Friday or Saturday. I have better luck on a Wednesday or Thursday because it's NOT that crowded and people aren't always out in bunches, so they're more open socially.

I DO wonder though if my lack of enthusiasm for "going out on the weekends" is something WRONG with me. If I SHOULD be out there with a lot of energy trying to "crack sets" and chase tail.

Have I fallen off? Or have I actually risen above it? Are there new levels to this "game" that will restore the enthusiasm I had for chasing women?

 

[decades]

the nite life scene hasn't changed. it will always be alcohol + hormones.
you've changed.

 

[squirrels]

So what's the next level?

 

[blueguy]

It's not challenging to you anymore. That's basically it. The next level level is to find something challenging about it or find something else that is challenging and rise to new inspirations.

This brings me to an interesting point that I've never discussed before. Often times I hear people say that they don't enjoy being social or "maybe being social is just not" them. That's not true. The fact is that we as human beings only enoy activities that stimulate our brain or are challenging. Our brain develops a web of neuropathways. The more links we have to relate to something, the more challenging we find it unless we feel we've mastered it.

This explains why those who were socially developed as a child are generally still sociable and find the process of social interaction and discovering new people and their complexities quite fascinating - they are still building new links in their own complex web of neuropathways. This also explains why those who have never been social have difficulty in enjoying it even into their adult lives- they have few prior experiences to which they can relate thus preventing them from being stimulated by social interaction.

 

[squirrels]

It's not a matter of challenging. It's challenging enough...it's just that it's not inspiring enough to give me reason to rise to the challenge.

I don't get excited engaging a girl in conversation. I know they're gonna have little to say that I haven't heard before, and not even the promise of pvssy really motivates me to stay engaged in banter, much less any kind of "game" or "kino" to try and close a deal.

The only time it really works is when I actually catch a "sexual" vibe from a girl...then that gets me interested enough, but by then it's usually pretty easy.

 

[joekerr31]

I DO wonder though if my lack of enthusiasm for "going out on the weekends" is something WRONG with me. If I SHOULD be out there with a lot of energy trying to "crack sets" and chase tail.

theres just about nowhere on the face of the planet that people act MORE fake than in a bar / club.

clubs are for people 22 and younger who are primarily interested in establishing their social status and getting drunk.

personally, as a mature man, i NEED good conversation to enjoy myself when with a group of people - and you aren't going to find that in the traditional clubbing scene.

 

[GtarPlayr73]

There's nothing wrong with you, squirrels. To me, clubs have always seemed to be environments for superficiality and egotism. The again, i'm an introvert and so, i don't "get" clubs. I prefer cafes, pubs, and chill lounges.

I cannot stress this enough: American society is an EXTROVERTED society, which is primarily the result of marketing. It will make you feel "wrong" or weird, unhealthy, etc if you actually enjoy being by yourself. Don't sweat it. The mob is insecure by nature. It fears being alone. I'm not saying you are an introvert, but at least the fact that you mentioned placing some value on your hobbies points to an introverted personality. American culture makes you feel obligated to "hit the clubs" on the weekends. So i ask, who's the stronger, more secure, more free-thinking man? The man who tries to game the superficial hottie, but finds himself bored and unfulfilled inside, or the one who's enjoying a good friend OR, horrors, his own company and is happy, content, and fulfilled within?

I admit, i have always found the group socializing to be boring, but, again, that's because i'm an introvert. I'm not bragging when i say this. I recognize that extroverted people are legitimate in their orientation towards a more sociable life. Both are two legit types of people, neither better than the other.

For great reading on introverts and introversion, i recommend: The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney and the more philosophical Party of One by Anneli Rufus.

 

[squirrels]

There are really no "clubs" in this city per se. Just a bunch of bars...but they're so crowded they may as well BE clubs. Same kind of atmosphere, at any rate.

 

[blueguy]

A challenge by its very definition is not merely something that is merely difficult to obtain. It is something that stretches your present capabilities. For instance, those HB9s that you've been wanting to fvck aren't challenging. You've simply just given up on them. That being said, there are more challenging things for you than having the goal to fvck the HB9 in a club.

 

[Phyzzle]

You're turning into what Gunwich calls a "boring ear yeller", just like me.

I've got way too much charm, intelligence, and interesting stories to meet women by grinding them from behind, or walking up and saying, "OMG I almost wore that same outfit!"

I recommend, if it means traveling a little further than you'd like, then do it, to find a new place to game.

I think I mentioned before, Baltimore sux. I'm not too fond of Ocean City either. You've gotta make it to Florida or Europe somehow.

 

[STR8UP]

theres just about nowhere on the face of the planet that people act MORE fake than in a bar / club.

It could be argued that the opposite is true.

In clubs there is alcohol flowing which lowers inhibitions. People do and say things that they only THINK in other situations.

clubs are for people 22 and younger who are primarily interested in establishing their social status and getting drunk.

I'm not feeling you on this one at all.

I'm 35 years old. I work a lot these days and I look forward to the weekend. I live just a few blocks from the club district, so I usually have friends stop by my place for a few drinks and then we all walk downtown to hit the bars/ clubs.

I meet women in clubs from time to time, but I mainly go out to have a few drinks and hang out with my friends and people watch.

You can say that I am the exception to the rule or whatever, but most of my friends are pretty much the same way. Hell, several of them are even in relationships. They are there for the same reason I am...to blow off some steam and have a good time.

 

[Ricky]

I always felt like a sellout in a dance club, since I'm a guitar player and like rock.

I much prefer to see live music, but finding good bands is tough. It is easier to sarge though because the band takes breaks, whereas the DJ can keep pumping **** at ear splitting volumes.

 

[STR8UP]

the nite life scene hasn't changed. it will always be alcohol + hormones.
you've changed.

Exactly.

It also depends on what kinds of places you go to.

I avoid several bars and clubs just because the crowd just doesn't do it for me. There are a few places that for some reason have a great vibe. You walk in and you can tell that the people don't have sticks up their asses.

Who do you go out with? If you hang out with a pack of wolves hellbent on getting laid you're gonna be disappointed if you go home alone. Why set yourself up for disappointment? Don't go into it having expectations, just go to have fun.

You know one thing that changes the entire dynamic is when you go out in a mixed group. It's entirely different when you have male and female companions. You stop looking at it as if you are on a mission to get laid, and more of a mission to have a good time.

It's all what you make of it. If you make it a mission to get laid, you are either going to be very HAPPY at the end of the night, or you are going to leave disappointed. Personally I would never go to a club with that frame of mind, but maybe that's just me.

 

[STR8UP]

There's nothing wrong with you, squirrels. It's clubs that are wrong. They are superficial outlets of egotism, overrun with drunk, slutty, disease-ridden, shallow, insecure, and immature YOUNG women who are looking to have their egos stroked and a sucker to buy them free drinks. There are healthier ways to get out and socialize. I prefer cafes, pubs, and chill lounges. The clubbing girl has nothing to offer but her body and her insecurities and her self-induced insanity. Get past that and you find an empty shell of a female who is a stranger to herself.

No offense, but this kind of thinking REALLY gets under my skin.

"Disease ridden"? "Empty shell of a female"? Seriously.....

 

[lookyoung]

I have been clubbing for years. Many of my xbangs have come from the nightclub scene. I also would like to try different avenues of getting dates, but the nightclub scene is king.

Go to the beach 10 times.
Go to starbucks 10 times.
Go to borders 10 times.
Go to a personal site 10 times.

You will get the most dates from the nightclub scene.

This is the postive of the scene but there are negatives.
1. Expensive.
2. Unhealthy. (drinking and smoking),
3. Girls are more pretentious. (looks are important fellas.
4. You can't go by yourself. (chances of success go down).
5. 80% of the girls are between the ages of 21-23. (if your looking for a mature woman than your in the wrong place).

To the guys that say nightclub girls are slutty is ridiculous.

Woman are Woman Pu$$y is Pu$$y

 

[GtarPlayr73]

No offense, but this kind of thinking REALLY gets under my skin.

"Disease ridden"? "Empty shell of a female"? Seriously.....

Fair enough, STR8UP. I was in a particularly cynical and judgmental mood and was out of order. I edited my post accordingly. Better to say that a percentage of the clubbing females have diseases, just as the men do. "Empty shell of a female"...conjecture on my part. I meant to point out that when all a girl does is club, she is probably not living a diverse life that allows for depth and lasting fulfillment. But to call her an empty shell goes too far and is judgmental. We all have our issues, myself included...

 

[Frank2500]

Re: The Original Poster Has a Point

Personally, I think the original poster has a point, although in my case, I am looking at it from a different perspective. At this point in my life, I'm seriously considering quitting the night club scene and searching for different avenues. That's because for the most part, women in night clubs haven't been very receptive to me. I can count how many times I've been going to night clubs for all these years and had somewhat positive experiences with the women I've met there. At the most, it may come up to maybe three times in over nine years. I just don't think I can relate to many of these younger women who go to clubs in the first place. At 29, I'm a bit too old in my opinion to be having superficial women 22-26 try to disrespect me or do the "I shut him down" thing with me when I try to talk to them. I'm looking for a woman with substance, not an air head who can't have an intelligent conversation.



Just last Saturday, I went out to a popular area of Philadelphia called Old City, which is filled with so many lounges and bars and restaurants. I used to frequent that area quite often. But when I saw a whole bunch of the usual bimbos walking around with exposed breasts and some of the drunk ones falling on the street again, I said to myself: "This isn't my kind of crowd. Why in the world am I hanging around these people?" Then I felt even worse when I tried to initiate conversations with two younger women at one of the clubs I went to. The ridiculous things some of them say just to stroke their egos and to get you to stop talking to them can really make for a good laugh. I tried dancing with one and she said: Right now, I'm holding someone's purse. Sorry."


And then I tried talking to another one, I could tell from her response and the way she acted that she wasn't very intelligent-a tall, blonde bimbo who was standing by the dance floor with her friends. Her response: "Right now, I'm just standing here with my friends. I'm just here to have fun with them. Sorry." She spoke to me in such a rude and disrespectful tone that I politely warned her to relax, take it easy and try to disrespect me and to respect herself.


I'm not gonna be putting myself at this age, in positions where superficial women think they have unnecessary power. I'm a bit too old right now to try dancing with women in clubs and have them walk away from me to stand with their friends and I'm tired of the fake numbers thing and the lack of substance. It's more than about time for me to start looking for places with women who might share more in common with me. I'm not sure where, but I'll have to try. Nonetheless, that isn't my priority anymore. I'm gonna focus on developing my career and on my own interests.

 

[Ryan69]

I'm not sure which it is. All I know is that I can't get enthused about going to a crowded bar or nightclub and hunting chicks any more.


It's called getting old LOL or just getting mature

That stuff is fun in College but once in mid-late 20's it starts to get old fast

especially when you see friends getting married, buying a big house, hitting a club and approaching girls with a song and dance and playing all the games and cutting through all the crap is just boring and frankly feels stupid.

Eventually you just wanna get laid without trying and be in bed by 10:00. The Hunt that was once exciting is now boring and a complete waste of time

It;s such a hit and miss game in the 1st place

 

[So Many Ways]

So what's the next level?

I second what everyone else is saying.

You've grown past that whole stage. When I was younger, going to a club, spitting game and all that was cool. Now I'm like whatever. I just don't feel like going through all the BS just to get some low grade broad.

The thing that alot of heads here don't get is that it's easy to get laid. Just talk to enough chicks, tell them what they want to hear and voila, you're naked. That is it. That's all there is to it. The mystery behind it is gone. You already know what's going to happen and you're thinking what the fuuck is the point?

There is no point.

That's where you're at right now.

 

[Micheal Moon]

Good thread guys.

I'm 29 andI've moved to a new town in the last year for school. I have considered going clubbing but have no one to go with. My close friends are back home and I just don't want to go alone. Like lookyoung said, I just think your success rate goes down in these situations w/ girls. However clubs have hot looking girls and not all of them are airheads (although there is a good majority I admit)

It's not that I miss it much even though I liked going.. I've always found it difficult to meet girls there because its not the easiest place to start a conversation w/ a girl because of the loud music, dancing, her ****blocking friends and ****blocking guys.

I've been to a couple of clubs out here but that was w/ people in my class who have sinced moved back home for the summer.

As a result I don't know where to meet girls now. I work out but i do martial arts and there's no girls there. I work, but there's nothing special where I work.

Next thing I'm thinking is online or bookstores, that's the best I can think of right now.