Has it ever taken you guys over 6 months to get over a girl?

Ricky

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Just wondering.
I have never had as much trouble getting over a girl as this one. I think it's because I've been less than impressed with the ones I've been meeting and dating since then.
 

solace

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They say the total time it takes to completely get over someone usually takes about half the time you two have actually been together. So if you guys have been together for two years, it should take about 1 year post-breakup for you to be able be in her presence and not feel sadness or a pain in your chest.

No matter how long you two have been together, if your heart still feels like it did within that first 3 weeks of breaking up or it hasn't healed up significantly over the past 6 months, you should seek counsel and that doesn't mean sosuave.com.


Although I am still not completely over the woman I was with for five years, it took about 5 months for my heart not to feel some sort of jab when I thought about her. It took about 8 months for me not to feel some sort of sadness when I thought for more than 10 seconds about her.

It has been three years since I ended that relationship and I have greatly moved on. Although I don't feel 100% over her, I know that I am happy for her in her new life and wish her the best. If I was the guy for her, she would be with me and not someone else...period.
 

Ricky

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2 cases.

The girl I dated 3 years I was over in 2 weeks. But constant fighting will do that for you.

The girl I dated for 6 months, I'm not over 6 months later.

FVCKED up isn't it

The rule of thumb didn't work for me. I love that damn girl. We never fought. I wish I knew what other than distance could have made the difference.
 

Socialreject

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Hmm well...

I was with a woman for 5 years, it took me about 4 months to get over her completely. We parted on 'fair' terms i think that helps alot. Furthermore she remains one of my best and closest friends (completely platonic) and i can say with confidence that i still truely love her... in a purely platonic sense.

I think it's crucial to get out of a relationship before you begin to sacrifice yourself for your partner. Betraying yourself only leads to pain when you realize you cannot buy your partners attracktion and passion with it...
 

decades

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Originally posted by Ricky
2 cases.

The girl I dated 3 years I was over in 2 weeks. But constant fighting will do that for you.

The girl I dated for 6 months, I'm not over 6 months later.

FVCKED up isn't it

The rule of thumb didn't work for me. I love that damn girl. We never fought. I wish I knew what other than distance could have made the difference.
was there a lot of push pull with this one?
I mean did she idolize you and then devalue you at then go back and forth? This is a form of brainwashing and makes an impact on your psyche. The more drama that we have, the more a realtionship confounds us, the longer your mind will deal with it because a the woman made an IMPACT on your mind in a serious way, even if for a relatively short period.

regards

Mike
 

solace

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Originally posted by persistent exaction
was there a lot of push pull with this one?
I mean did she idolize you and then devalue you at then go back and forth? This is a form of brainwashing and makes an impact on your psyche. The more drama that we have, the more a realtionship confounds us, the longer your mind will deal with it because a the woman made an IMPACT on your mind in a serious way, even if for a relatively short period.

regards

Mike
I agree with Mike. In any event, 6 months is too long to get over a 6 month relationship. Youn need to take some serious action that doesn't involve getting back with her. I can only imagine your difficulty if the relationship had been for 1 year.
 

Ricky

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Actually there are a lot of good responses here.

The 3 year relationship had a lot of fighting but a mutual decision was made to breakup.

The 6th month relationship had no fighting, she had incredibly high interest level at first, then mine grew and then she pulled the plug on me because "it's too tough, I can't do it".

The distance became too much. Which I thought it would be at first. I pretty much let myself into this one.

She had broken up with a guy before me because he wouldn't move to be with her. But here she was suggesting she'd move to be with me.

It was all a pipedream. I still love both of the girls, but the 6 month one I want back. It is sick.
 

Aaron B

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I was with my ex-wife for 7 years.

I was over her within about 6 months, but it took me over a year to really get my life back in order and under my control.
 

CLOONEY

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Originally posted by Ricky
Just wondering.
I have never had as much trouble getting over a girl as this one. I think it's because I've been less than impressed with the ones I've been meeting and dating since then.
Was with a girl for a bit over a year, took me around a year to get over her. Another I was with for 6 months, got over her in about 24 hours! If the chick does it for you, and you find it hard to meet woman of equal quality (you dont have to neccessarily be putting them on a pedistool as most here will say), its just that they have physical and personality characteristics you really respect and love, not to mention you loved them, that makes it so hard to find one you find equally appealing.

I was over her in a year, then dated around for a long time, over another year, until I found one who I am equally as pleased with.

Just keep going on, eventually you will feel you are over her, not to mention, the feelings will die as months and months go bye, you may still not be totally over her, but you will be enough to have a healthy life and get to know other girls again.
 

BigDawg

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I was with my last girlfriend for almost three years, and that ended about two and a half years ago. I'm still not where I want to be in terms of moving on, but I'm getting there.

Oddly, getting over my ex-wife was a lot easier, and took a lot less time.

Like you, Ricky, I've been less than impressed with the women I've gone out with since, although there was one amazing one I met on vacation recently. Too bad we only had time for one date. Now, she could make me forget all my worries.
 

insomniac

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Uh, me too...

Ex-fiancee was with 4 years. Two weeks after that ended I knew I'd never want to be with her again. So, I didn't regret it ending, but needed several months to get back on my feet. I more regretted all I gave up for her.

Another GF was with 1-1/2 years. Got over it in a month, as I didn't care too much about it. She was more of a filler, and I never saw us being together in the long run.

Last GF...went out 4 months, and it's been 9 months since and I still think about her. I haven't even spoken to her since then. I started seeing other women within two weeks after that ended, but I keep comparing them to her and am disappointed. The only one I met since who did it for me was nearly an exact copy of my ex. But, that didn't work out. Seems the ones you regret are the ones that take the longest.
 

BobbDobbs

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People who grieve over dead relatives and friends usually recover within a year. The same is probably true for lost loves.
 

DoubleA

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Ya boy is back!!!

YEAH!

There's a girl who's been on my mind for years. You'll get over to it, almost totally. But deep down, you'll hold onto something. And that's what gets you in trouble.

"It won't hurt as much, eventually, but with time you'll see things different. And you'll love her and not in love with her. You'll see how far you have come and the fact she's not gone anywhere with her life. And you will know because, you have grown." by T. Baker
T. got me thru a major L I took with I chick I was deep for. And that's the same speech he gave me while sitting in a bar. I miss him. But he taught me so much. Gawd bless you T. Because of your advice I am in control and not someone else.

_________________

Too each one, Teach one.
 

Ricky

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Dude and it sucks even more because of many of the girls I"ve met i've told alot of them I'm looking for a girl to be my friend.

Guess what, girls don't want to be just your friend. I would kill to have one good girl to call my friend now and the new girls I meet don't want this (maybe they feel rejected because i genuinely want them as a friend and not a love interest now?)

I love my ex.
 

uniassign

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I remember a friend once told me this, and I think this may help your situation:

A woman can come into your life and become your muse and source of inspiration; a beauty that colors everything you do. Then someday, that same woman will surely slip away from you (with no exceptions). You will be sad. But the memory of the beauty she infused into your life will never be overshadowed by the cloud of a deteriorating relationship. And that, my friend, is a profound and beautiful realization.
 

DonJuanMonk

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Dunno about the rest of you, but I'm ready to meet a new girl the next day after a break-up.

Oh you mean getting over her? Sure, I'll think of her here and there, but I honestly can't wait to experience a new girlfriend.
 

penkitten

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when you get out of a ltr and get into another one, you dont mourn over it. then when that ltr is over , you are left mourning over both of them.
ricky, you need some me time. go have some fun , things will fall into place.
 

Ricky

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I think i need to move again too. My lease runs out next May.

This is a great town, but maybe better to visit. Financially it isn't that great for me (more money and much cheaper expenses elsewhere) and socially since I didn't know anyone to start it's been tough although I've been making friends.

It's hard for me to consider dating girls that are from here or at least born and raised here and wanting to stay since I don't want to be here. I dont want to **** up a girl like she ****ed me up. I know that's putting the cart before the horse, but I just can't make false promises.

For instance there really is one sweet and attractive girl at work that I"m certain i could date and the repercussions would be slim to none since we basically don't work in the same function at all and would never be seen together since it's a huge place

That being said not even sure why i'd waste her time since I may up and move in less than a year. On the other hand I might stay for a few years, but who knows.

I do know one thing. I'm depressed over a girl I lost.

But it is kind of amazing that a girl I seduced almost moved here for me after only knowing me a short while. I stilll love her. FVCK.
 

Squid

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Man, the timing of this thread amazes me.

I ended a three and a half year relationship last Oct, a month before we were to be married. I still haven't really gotten over her, sure I've dated alot of women since, but not one even compares in my eyes, it's really wierd. Every time I meet a new woman I think of my ex instead.

All you can do is continue to move forward with your life, there will eventually be someone who makes you forget her, that's what I tell myself every day.
 

WestCoaster

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Yeah, I was in a funk once over a completely dumb/bad gal I had dated for a year. I was in a funk for more than 6 months ... biggest waste of time in my life. I was striking out in the dating scene because I had a cloud over my head.

I was eating poor, not playing as much tennis as I used to, wasn't keeping up my hobbies of writing, traveling, sports, listening to music. I was being a dumb loser. I wish I had those months back.

I understand the natural grieving process, but it's best to cling on to the things that make you happy as in hobbies and goals. Women should be the side dish, not the main meal.

My friends and I have a good saying when we go to college football games: If our team wins or loses, we've never been let down because just being there on a fall afternoon is wonderful. Women? They most often let you down; college football has never let me down.

So move on, don't compare your ex with other gals ... she wasn't that great anyway.
 
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