Has anyone ever asked for rejection feedback?

gettinit

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2017
Messages
240
Reaction score
201
This popped into my mind while replying to another thread.

Obviously we all have gotten shot down, more that we have succeeded. The usual thing seems to be trial and error with your pickup routine, but who really knows for sure what the real reasons for rejection were? Even though projecting confidence is paramount, even the most confident person has had at least some insecurities in their life. Its just part of being human. At this point, I have developed a pretty thick skin and really don't care. Way back, I had a few that I just got over naturally, but wasted time since they were false reasons. For example: I have a higher forehead and it bothered me (my buddies call it a five head). It turned out to be a non issue. I joked about it with a girl that I had been dating for a bit and she said that it fits me well and she thought that I was handsome. I remember replying something like: "Who said anything about not being handsome" haha. Obviously, you want to project confidence, but you need to have a solid base to do so.

So, back when I started into the world of women, I am wondering if flat out asking a girl what the issue was (if it was obvious that she had NO interest at all) might have been a good idea. Even someone currently in a serious slump? Sure, you may have to brace yourself for the reply (sorry, but you remind me of Jabba the Hutt), but how else can you focus on what needs improvement? After all, you don't poll the wrong demographic in politics, so asking your relatives and friends probably wouldn't be a good idea, since it would probably just result in dishonest or sugar coated answers.

So has anyone ever just asked? Did you get an answer? Was it what you had thought?
 

espanish

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2019
Messages
413
Reaction score
308
Age
42
hey man,
I have never tried but I really doubt that you will get an honest answer. a girl would rather say "I have a boyfriend" than "you are too short for me" or "you come off weird" or "you come off creepy"
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,719
Reaction score
6,667
Age
67
Location
The 7th Dimension
The truth is that it doesn't matter why.

Most men are under the false belief that they can be universally attractive, just as women can. The fact is that any time this happens, it's because your particular personality didn't make her feel excited. 80% of men will not excite any given woman.

A woman will never tell you the truth even if you ask. She would try to spare your feelings, and she doesn't even know herself. It's always the same thing... you didn't excite her. Either you went for the kind of girl who doesn't find guys like you attractive, or you didn't create mystery and excitement for her.

You will only ever appeal to 20% of women. You cannot be universally attractive. It's best to identify your "type" and pursue the ones who find your type to be attractive.
 

gettinit

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2017
Messages
240
Reaction score
201
I'm not talking about becoming universally attractive, more like acceptably attractive to the 20% or even 1%. Some guys, just can't seem to get out of the gate and don't have the faintest idea why.

I know a few who would just put it out there, especially if you told them why you were asking.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
The truth is that it doesn't matter why.

Most men are under the false belief that they can be universally attractive, just as women can. The fact is that any time this happens, it's because your particular personality didn't make her feel excited. 80% of men will not excite any given woman.

A woman will never tell you the truth even if you ask. She would try to spare your feelings, and she doesn't even know herself. It's always the same thing... you didn't excite her. Either you went for the kind of girl who doesn't find guys like you attractive, or you didn't create mystery and excitement for her.

You will only ever appeal to 20% of women. You cannot be universally attractive. It's best to identify your "type" and pursue the ones who find your type to be attractive.
Even women arent u universally attractive.

What most men can do is make surw they are good with a paper bag over their head "fine from the neck down".
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
2,739
Reaction score
2,671
Age
43
Location
Canada
The truth is that it doesn't matter why.

Most men are under the false belief that they can be universally attractive, just as women can. The fact is that any time this happens, it's because your particular personality didn't make her feel excited. 80% of men will not excite any given woman.

A woman will never tell you the truth even if you ask. She would try to spare your feelings, and she doesn't even know herself. It's always the same thing... you didn't excite her. Either you went for the kind of girl who doesn't find guys like you attractive, or you didn't create mystery and excitement for her.

You will only ever appeal to 20% of women. You cannot be universally attractive. It's best to identify your "type" and pursue the ones who find your type to be attractive.
This

Most women dont even know why they dump you, this is just how she is feeling at that moment.

Thinking too much about it will just make it a bigger hit on your self esteem and ego, and make it even harder to get over the rejection.
Best mindset is accept rejection and move on to next chick.
 

andreihaha

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2019
Messages
872
Reaction score
842
Age
31
This popped into my mind while replying to another thread.

Obviously we all have gotten shot down, more that we have succeeded.
Actually, when I'm only going after my type of women (women I'm compatible with and have stuff in common) I succeed a lot more than I get shot down. I mean, I almost never get rejected. And I'm sure guys also pursuing their type can vouch for this. The only difficulty is letting go any woman that doesn't fit your expectations. Which can be hard sometimes, for me also.

The truth is that it doesn't matter why.

Most men are under the false belief that they can be universally attractive, just as women can. The fact is that any time this happens, it's because your particular personality didn't make her feel excited. 80% of men will not excite any given woman.

A woman will never tell you the truth even if you ask. She would try to spare your feelings, and she doesn't even know herself. It's always the same thing... you didn't excite her. Either you went for the kind of girl who doesn't find guys like you attractive, or you didn't create mystery and excitement for her.

You will only ever appeal to 20% of women. You cannot be universally attractive. It's best to identify your "type" and pursue the ones who find your type to be attractive.
Exactly, great post!
But once you start pursuing your type, it will feel like you appeal 80% of women, not 20%.
hey man,
I have never tried but I really doubt that you will get an honest answer. a girl would rather say "I have a boyfriend" than "you are too short for me" or "you come off weird" or "you come off creepy"
Yep. And guys do the same. When I was younger I remember telling a girl that I'm seeing someone else rather than saying that she was biting my lips like a savage beast.
Asking her is useless, as her woman/future mother nature will try to protect you from horrible dissapointment by finding a weak generic excuse.
 

MrWood

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 15, 2016
Messages
1,777
Reaction score
1,199
Age
58
Location
Scandinavia
I think asking this is a sign of a lack of confidence, and women will feel this... its not a good look (and worse than your forehead)
I would only ask if there is NO prospect of going out with or dating the girl again, ever.

I have a floppy arm and hand, I have NEVER asked a woman if that is what put her off (and likely it never was an issue).
Recently there was one chick, a ONS from Tinder HB6- 23yo and she did stare at it alot...
but we smashed, I whipped her ass with my belt and told her she was a bad girl for thinking about c0ck all day and night, and because she was cheating on her fiancee lol. (she came several times that night before she I sent her on her way... lmfao)
 

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
1,775
Reaction score
3,511
Location
Mile High City, USA
NEVER ask this. It makes you look really weak and insecure. Plus, a woman will never give you a straight answer, even when she does.

Jimmy: Sally, why did you break up with me?
Sally: I'm just not ready for a relationship, but we can be friends.
<Sally's Brain>: Damn, he's such a wimp, weak, and so supplicating, are there any real men left?!
Jimmy: Ok Sally, we can be friends (and unknowingly becomes a beta make orbiter hoping for a second chance that will never happen)

Does the alpha bull elk ask why the female won't mate with him? NO, he shrugs his bull elk shoulders and f*ucks someone else. He doesn't give a f*uck and neither should you.

If you continue to hone your game, learn as much as you can, work on your confidence, career, and body, and especially ONLY date or engage with high-interest women, you won't have to worry about rejection. Don't out-kick your coverage.

Good luck.
 

gettinit

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2017
Messages
240
Reaction score
201
I think that most are missing one specific part of my question:
(if it was obvious that she had NO interest at all)
In other words, nothing to lose anyway.

Obviously it would be a horrible idea, if you were is a relationship, thought that you had any shot at all or knew you could be more successful later. I wasn't looking for advice due to my own situation, it was just a passing thought and I was simply curious if anyone had tried this. I get that "most" women would give a generic answer, but I know a few that I'm confident would tell it like it is, if asked. To tell you the truth, the responses here are pretty much what I expected, but I have been surprised before.

In any case, thanks for the replies and I think that we can consider this one closed.

Gettinit
AKA: FiveHead
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,096
Reaction score
4,852
Age
34
Tyler has gone PC out of the deplatforming rubbish. Prior, he spoke about the hamster wheel in a girl's head... Cocaine, drink, ****!

Picked up a chick but, 2secs in, its apparently obv she is a bottle rat. Other leads, solid numbers, high interest level but go nowhere. Still I run my funnel.

I end up skull ****ing a chick on her balcony. The night before was all blow outs. I went home and smashed myself thethe night prior.


@OP, there's little to nothing to get there from feedback. You can ask chicks who are in your social circle like PWF (play with fire) does on pics for apps. There's more transparency as girls slutty behavior becomes more blatantly misbehaving. There's no fallout. Cucks still marry *****s.

In retrospect, one night my game was off. The other night, I spam approach calibrated. Its either blow me or blow me out.

Six decades of feminism has men thinking their is anything but randomness and meaning in female entitlement. Timing is key. Its all arbitrary. Increase game, looks max, lift, lifestyle, and resourcefulness only increase probability in your favor. Double down here.
 
Top