Has anyone dated a girl who was not BPD?

[bigneil]

First, I've enjoyed the BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) descriptions here as much as anyone, and I can truly relate to some of the stories.

However, the law of averages suggests this disorder is more rare than we are hearing on SS. Studies suggest that only 1 or 2% of women have BPD. That means only about 1 in 67 women. According to a recent SS poll the average user has slept with about 20 women, so there is only a 30% chance that the average SS member has ever had an intimate relationship with a BPD woman.

Even if we assume BPD women drive a higher percentage of men to sites like this, then perhaps 60% of users have ever been with a BPD woman.

Could it be that women with low interest level also exhibit BPD symptoms?

 

[joverby]

IDK dude, most the guys here who think the chick is have some pretty good signs to back it up.(Myself included, kind of eye opening) And studies for the actual % are always off, becasue they have to actually be diagnosed. And I think you may be right about those dudes being driven here to boost the #'s. Some guys probably just do have a chick w/ low IL though. (And like to have a justification other than them just being AFC / incompatible at some level)

I was really AFC with my first relationship and drove her IL way down. But I didn't think she was ****ed up as a person at all. Unlike my current GF who got lower IL but also has MANY BPD traits that people here have shared.

 

[the_stig]

It's an easy card to play to justify the relationship not working without bruising the ego.

When you do deal with a true BPD/HPD it leaves little room for doubt. Truly a draining and soul sucking experience.

 

[pdx1138]

Well, there can be degrees of BPD.

Some women have 100% of the symptoms others are 80 or 60%.

maybe thats exaggerated and not meaning a BPD at all if its not 100%.

All I know is, I've dated some crazy azz womens.

 

[Johnnyventana]

"Could it be that women with low interest level also exhibit BPD symptoms?"

Yes, they do, kind of. The difference though is huge. Low interest is low interest. It isn't super high interest one day and then low interest 8 hours later for no reason other than they woke up. And low interest women don't swing from high to low, hot to cold in the same day. They are just normal chicks who happen to not be into you. Nothing wrong with that.

BPDs are an entirely different animal though. Not really easy for anyone who has not had the pleasure to totally comprehend. Mostly because their behavior is so strange.

 

[f283000]

There is no such thing as a woman that isn't BPD

 

[Boilermaker]

I don't buy the fact that most of us have -at least once - dated a BPD woman.
First; most people here are not qualified to make a diagnosis based on a 5-minute google search.

Secondly, it takes the load off our shoulders when we conclude the girl who screwed our lives was "mentally sick"..

My brother is a psychiatrist (U of M). She tells me stories about REAL BPD women and none of these people are even remotely close to what you guys are describing here. (Jophil will be furious but he's an engineer as far as I remember )

 

[Johnnyventana]

Yes, there are different degrees to Rainman, as there are anything else. I highly doubt anyone who has had a relationship has spent a mere 5 minutes researching it, nor have they so easily thought - that must be it! Nope, it is hard to comprehend, even when facing you in the face. Simply because it is so not what you have come to expect from social norms. Are there dudes claiming BPD because they are losers and the hot chick was a flake? I'm sure. But I wouldn't so easily dismiss what so many have seen. Else we'll wish one on you!

 

[HeMan]

boilermaker give us stories of what your brother told you about real BDP?

 

[AlexDP]

The difference between an emotional woman and a borderline is gigantic. Hell, there are PHYSICAL signs you're dealing with a borderline that you just don't see in other women. Do a lot of women have borderline traits then? Yeah, maybe. But so do we. People on this very forum advise to play push pull games all the time. That is about as borderline as it gets.

As for the averages.. First of all I think 5% would be more accurate. But this is a forum about getting women. Borderlines have A LOT of partners in their lives. People on this forum are looking to get with a lot of women. It is only natural they come across a borderline at one point. A true borderline doesn't do alone. She's always in a relationship. Let's say her average relationship lasts 1,5 years. That means that when she's 60, she's had 40 LTR's. One borderline, forty guys.

 

[mahoney]

ive met a couple people with BPD type issues - so i can safely say none of the girls i have ever had anything with were anywhere near being BPD

maybe you guys all live in some wacky town because reading many of the posts here it seems a lot of you are always meeting BPD girls....


....course you could say if you are meeting a bunch of BPD girls then the only thing these girls have in common with each other is....hmm, you?

also the other thing that makes some of you dudes probably not the best placed to judge is this weird belief that dude is somehow a logical person. um, really? basically no

 

[AlexDP]

ive met a couple people with BPD type issues - so i can safely say none of the girls i have ever had anything with were anywhere near being BPD

maybe you guys all live in some wacky town because reading many of the posts here it seems a lot of you are always meeting BPD girls....


....course you could say if you are meeting a bunch of BPD girls then the only thing these girls have in common with each other is....hmm, you?

also the other thing that makes some of you dudes probably not the best placed to judge is this weird belief that dude is somehow a logical person. um, really? basically no

Bingo. It is quite possible for someone to get involved with several borderlines. In fact, that you were ever involved with one in the first place shows you you've got issues. And you either work through them or you'll meet some other borderline.

That being said, the vast majority of girls out there are nothing like BPD. I know two girls who definitely have BPD and one girl I think that might. I know 100 girls who don't. So there you go.

 

[mahoney]

well its actually two, linked, things here

1) as you say - a dudes issues meaning he is attracting or going for BPD types

however i think possibly more common is

2) dude's own issues means he thinks the girls he meets are BPD, when really it is he that has problems - and it is an easy way to explain what is happening

if in my class every single person is really really tall, and isn't that weird? then maybe, just maybe they're not tall at all - its me thats short

 

[AlexDP]

well its actually two, linked, things here

1) as you say - a dudes issues meaning he is attracting or going for BPD types

however i think possibly more common is

2) dude's own issues means he thinks the girls he meets are BPD, when really it is he that has problems - and it is an easy way to explain what is happening

if in my class every single person is really really tall, and isn't that weird? then maybe, just maybe they're not tall at all - its me thats short

True. There's no real way of knowing though. While I think it's possible that a lot of men meet a borderline at some point in their lives (given the promiscuous nature of the disorder) claiming that all women are borderlines is insanity. They are, quite clearly, not.

 

[KarmaSutra]

However, the law of averages suggests this disorder is more rare than we are hearing on SS. Studies suggest that only 1 or 2% of women have BPD. That means only about 1 in 67 women. According to a recent SS poll the average user has slept with about 20 women, so there is only a 30% chance that the average SS member has ever had an intimate relationship with a BPD woman.

This is more a more plausible and realistic statistic.

So this means 99% of the guys here have their diapers full of sh!t. Believable.

I'm going on record saying some of you guys who chase green dots so carelessly suffer from BPD. Moreso than some broad who doesn't want to waste her time with you.

My brother is a psychiatrist (U of M). She tells me stories...

Your brother is a Fe-He? A Shim?

 

[49au]

BPD is under diagnosed. And BPD is often co-morbid with other disorders. A lot of BPDs are probably just considered bi-polar. And they are highly resistant to introspection and seeking treatment.

BPD is also found in various subtypes and intensities, which is another reason that many will simply not recognize it for what it is.


For the last couple weeks now I have been studying this problem, reading forums (mostly posts from diagnosed BPDs), sites like bpdfamily and Shari S, etc., and it seems very clear that most BPDs will go through life knowing "something" is a little off, but have no idea what, and never seek treatment. And most of their discarded partners will never realize what they were dealing with. There will be no diagnosis, ever.

My ex is a BPD waif, I am finally realizing that now after weeks of denial. Yet my brain kept conjuring up dozens of bizarre statements, strange behaviors, "the world is against me" moments, childlike demeanors, baseless tantrums, paranoia about me cheating, and many many clear indicators of the disorder because I just simply didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to use it as a "cop out" for why the relationship failed.

I am her 11th boyfriend, if what she tells me is true. She's 27. And I'm sure there will be many more. So this one BPD girl will have probably lured in 15 guys, or more, by the time she's 30. By the time she's 40? 50? I shudder to think.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

My first girlfriend back in highschool did not have it at all, she was just a normal girl. Didn't get along so well with her mom, but most girls don't at that age.

Every other girl after her was BPD lol.. Except one girl I just went on a few dates with in a 2 week short spurt. Didn't quite work out well though considering she's 5 years older than me. There wasn't a lot to relate to but it was fun hooking up nonetheless!