Hard to read this one. Dating for about a month

[StrayCat]

I joined eharmony to get back into dating, I joined Match too, but had few replies, so I disabled my profile. So, in December she sent a smile to me on eHarmony and I reached out a day later. We met up after New Years, and there seemed to be attraction. Deep long kissing, etc. We've had three dates after that. Once at my city, the rest in hers. We live about an hour from each other, so I thought going to her area would make it easier. We'd make out, but on the second or third date, she'd not let me go past grabbing her butt and boobs. Fourth date I arrived at her place, and she blocked my hands again. I said to myself, okay, this is not going as planned. After the end of the date we went back to her place and to my surprise, we had sex twice and then again the following morning. In the morning, she made some coffee for me in the morning to go (offered me draws too, which were weird. She's a size 0, I'm 6 ft / 210 lbs. I guess a nice gesture, but I just laughed and said thank you, but not into cross dressing). Anyway, I said call me later, she retorted, that's your job and smiled. Anyway, I did call her a few days later and asked what day she's free this week, and as usual, I get a Saturday, as she was "busy" Friday. We talked for a bit, she's laughing and having a good time it seems, so I guess that is good. However, two things I find weird. One, I found out she's always online on Match. Two, she never texts or calls. When I call or text, she either answers immediately or replies back in a few mins.

In the morning, she also stated she doesn't sleep around and she was extremely nervous about our first time. Usually, when a woman was/is in to me, they call or text every once and awhile. I am following Corey Wayne's 3% man and just calling once a week and spending 10 - 20 mins on the phone to setup a date and talk in person.

Any ideas? I know this happened once before to me and I confronted her about it. That ended any sort of relations. I really do not want to do that. I know Corey Wayne also says wait until she brings this up. I'd feel more secure if she wasn't on Match and reaching out once and awhile.

Any ideas or suggestions? We're both 36 by the way.

Interestingly enough, she texted me this morning early, like at 7am stating she has the stomach bug. I replied back that sucks. Feel better. She then replied.. Thanks ugh .

Confused to say the least.

 

[Machine10033]

I would love to have a girl that wanted to have sex when we see each other, rarely called, and never texted. The question is what do you want from this? She's still on match and those sites because your not in a committed relationshup you are both dating and playing the field. If I was you I would keep dating other people, keep your profile active and keep having fun with this girl. Don't get emotionally attached... she might just need sex and a good time with no real strings Attached

 

[StrayCat]

I'm not dating anyone else nor on OLD. Since we just had sex last week, I do not want to come of as needy. Not sure if I believe this stomach bug, but who knows. I might be over thinking it. I would had liked to attempt to turn this into something more, but it's hard to read her interest.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I joined eharmony to get back into dating, I joined Match too, but had few replies, so I disabled my profile. So, in December she sent a smile to me on eHarmony and I reached out a day later. We met up after New Years, and there seemed to be attraction. Deep long kissing, etc. We've had three dates after that. Once at my city, the rest in hers. We live about an hour from each other, so I thought going to her area would make it easier. We'd make out, but on the second or third date, she'd not let me go past grabbing her butt and boobs. Fourth date I arrived at her place, and she blocked my hands again. I said to myself, okay, this is not going as planned. After the end of the date we went back to her place and to my surprise, we had sex twice and then again the following morning. In the morning, she made some coffee for me in the morning to go (offered me draws too, which were weird. She's a size 0, I'm 6 ft / 210 lbs. I guess a nice gesture, but I just laughed and said thank you, but not into cross dressing). Anyway, I said call me later, she retorted, that's your job and smiled. Anyway, I did call her a few days later and asked what day she's free this week, and as usual, I get a Saturday, as she was "busy" Friday. We talked for a bit, she's laughing and having a good time it seems, so I guess that is good. However, two things I find weird. One, I found out she's always online on Match. Two, she never texts or calls. When I call or text, she either answers immediately or replies back in a few mins.

In the morning, she also stated she doesn't sleep around and she was extremely nervous about our first time. Usually, when a woman was/is in to me, they call or text every once and awhile. I am following Corey Wayne's 3% man and just calling once a week and spending 10 - 20 mins on the phone to setup a date and talk in person.

Any ideas? I know this happened once before to me and I confronted her about it. That ended any sort of relations. I really do not want to do that. I know Corey Wayne also says wait until she brings this up. I'd feel more secure if she wasn't on Match and reaching out once and awhile.

Any ideas or suggestions? We're both 36 by the way.

Interestingly enough, she texted me this morning early, like at 7am stating she has the stomach bug. I replied back that sucks. Feel better. She then replied.. Thanks ugh .

Confused to say the least.

I honestly don't know what you're confused about. Not having sex earlier than date 4 (ok, she's a rare non-slut, should be refreshing)? Her not calling you (that IS the man's job in the beginning). Your're not exclusive with each other so she's acting quite normal and probably seeing other people. You should too.

There is absolutely nothing "off" about what you've written. Don't over think this and just have a good time and see where it goes. BTW, Corey Wayne's program is a good guideline.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I assume she can also see if you are online on match? I'd probably pull it up in a browser window set to auto-refresh, and leave it open to make it look like you were online constantly. She's comfortable seeing other people, or at least shopping around, because she knows you are not doing the same thing. There's no fear of losing you.

 

[StrayCat]

I honestly don't know what you're confused about. Not having sex earlier than date 4 (ok, she's a rare non-slut, should be refreshing)? Her not calling you (that IS the man's job in the beginning). Your're not exclusive with each other so she's acting quite normal and probably seeing other people. You should too.

There is absolutely nothing "off" about what you've written. Don't over think this and just have a good time and see where it goes. BTW, Corey Wayne's program is a good guideline.

CW states she should be reaching out a little. Prob. just over thinking it.. I am talking to others, however, only sleeping with her. This is assuming I'll see her again. She stated this morning, early, that she has a stomach bug. I will check in on her Monday and suggest we do something next weekend.

I guess I am having a hard time reading her interest.

 

[StrayCat]

I assume she can also see if you are online on match? I'd probably pull it up in a browser window set to auto-refresh, and leave it open to make it look like you were online constantly. She's comfortable seeing other people, or at least shopping around, because she knows you are not doing the same thing. There's no fear of losing you.

She knows I am on eharmony, but I am no longer on Match. I do not think she's still on eharmony. When we were talking after sex the last week, she asked what was my longest relationship, I said my marriage. She was shocked that I was married. I stated that I listed in my profile. She said she printed it out and checked again and it wasn't there so I had to pull up my profile to show her. One would then assume she's no longer active on eharmony.

I hated Match. I didn't like my profile out there for the world to see and critique. Hence, I switched to eharmony.

 

[Murk]

Dash is right on this one.

 

[LJBFB]

Do NOT reach out. I almost never initiate after 1st date or 1st sex. I highly recommend u let them do this. Do not hint too much at future meetings. Do not offer this chick your weekends this early u lesss necessaru and be reluctant to her atte.pts at doing so....Definitly do not reach out now at this point again until you almost assuredly could bang another or preferably you just get that new lay. This is your best bet to correct this if possible or for future prospects if you want less ONS and self protection.

 

[LJBFB]

Honestly you saying "hard to read" and especially "hard to read after a month" says everything this post didn't need to. That prompts the usual automatic DJBible referral, spin more plates advice or... if you really to challenge yourself and grow even faster you just ghost her entirely. That is an investment in yourself you should embrace at some point.

Then do it another time just cause shes sooo hott that she says no guy ever cancelled or ghosted. I cancelled a date two last year just because she wouldnt hand me the lead on plans and showed an acceptable interest level. This made for an easy date two lay that may not have otherwise been obtainable at all. Then after seks as we lay next to eachother she said she had never had a ONS that wasnt her decision; so I straight up told her with a smerk I was gonna ghost.

I knew due to many factors I could not have ltr or maybe even hit again. It was not worth the effort. She was easy top 5 or maybe 3 of mine too. Would have liked to hit it again, as usually Im not a fan of ONS, but she may have just jerked me around and I had better use for my time. This may be overboard but just an idea.

 

[StrayCat]

Since she said she was "sick" I did follow up early afternoon today. She texted back she was much better in around 20 mins or so. I then stated we should get together next Friday. No response. Something tells me She wasn't "sick" yesterday. Done and done with this one. Can't be nice to them or show a sliver of concern. Wish I read the updates today prior to texting her... Would had saved me some humiliation.

 

[speed dawg]

She can sense your desperation. Even if you have not overtly said anything or really done anything, women can 'feel' it. You need to pull back and date some other people, or get busy doing something else so you NATURALLY ignore her a little, and let her chase you. Wait 2 weeks or so, and call and set up a date again with her. Or, tell her to come to your place because you are making dinner, and bring some wine.

 

[StrayCat]

She can sense your desperation. Even if you have not overtly said anything or really done anything, women can 'feel' it. You need to pull back and date some other people, or get busy doing something else so you NATURALLY ignore her a little, and let her chase you. Wait 2 weeks or so, and call and set up a date again with her. Or, tell her to come to your place because you are making dinner, and bring some wine.

Not desperate, as I m talking to others. However, I did put her first. Still learning about this multi-dating thing. Still a work in progress. Interestingly enough, she reached out yesterday. I offered her to come over and I'd cook on either Friday or Saturday. She agreed. We'll see if she doesn't back out. Not holding my breath.

 

[StrayCat]

Isn't it characteristic for picking up 30 - 38 years old hot (or relatively hot) women? What I mean is that I've read multiple times about their lack of ability to forge longterm commitment at this stage of life - probably due to the mix of narcissism, years of riding **** carousel and internal damage taken from dating other guys - it's probably easier to forge an LTR with 24-27y old woman than with +32y old or so (my ex is 33 and half and man, that character she had was really something - that internal belief that she is in the apex of her womanhood was always there (perhaps 'in total' but as we all know woman SMV goes south at the moment she hits 30).

Since being back in this dating game (I.E. gauntlet), I would have to tend to agree with you. I do not think many women who've have multiple men are able to parabond and form relationships. However, this one took some time to actually just get to do anything with. She'd block me from touching her specific areas and then two weeks ago (zero alcohol) we had sex a few times; then this 24 hour stomach bug. Very strange. She did mention her longest relationship was 3 years. Which, at 36, I thought was a bit odd.

 

[R.U.G.]

Hmm, could be playing hard to get. If she agreed to come over, she prob. thinks there will be sex. Play it by ear. If she bails again, move on. Don't call her regardless next week. See if she calls you. It looks like you stick to the same pattern each week. By now, she's caught on. You need to change things up by skipping a week. She'll be expecting your call next week, and wonder where's her weekly call. Call the week after and date another girl next week. If she asks why didn't I hear from you last week? Easy, you can take one of two ways through this test (and it is a test). One, say phone's now work both ways. You can always reach out to me. However, if you select this route, you're creating negative feelings. I'd just say, I've been mad busy at work with overtime or something in that nature. She'll know you are lying, but there is no way to prove it. Then, ask her out again. She will say yes. Why? Simple. She took your call. Who knows, she may call you instead. One thing, if she calls you Wed or Thurs next week, it could be another test. Say you are busy, but would love to see her next weekend. It will drive her hamster wheel nuts. Keeps the mystery alive.

It's a toss-up. Usually, a woman with low interest wouldn't have sex with a man with low interest. She prob. has mid interest or is confused (not hard to do). DO NOT REACH OUT AGAIN TIL THE WEEK AFTER NEXT! Do the unexpected to really peak her interest. It would even work better if you hook up again. Don't let us down.

 

[StrayCat]

Normally, by now, if I was dating/seeing each other for about 2 months, I'd think we'd be conversing more. I would also be offering mid-week dates, as I have no issues coming to her city. However, I am just going to lay back and see where it goes. She's supposed to come over tonight, we'll see. I've not heard from her since Sunday. I am wiling to bet she flakes. I can be wrong, but not sure. I have another date with another woman setup tomorrow. If she comes, I will be more than happy to cook something nice up for us. If not, her loss. It sometimes amazes me how a woman's mind works when dealing with personal relations.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

We're both 36 by the way.

Son, peak SMV is like 18-23. 30s is gross son. Date younger.

 

[StrayCat]

Son, peak SMV is like 18-23. 30s is gross son. Date younger.

No desire to date that young. They're immature in their mid 30's. I could only imagine how infantile they are between 18 - 23.

 

[dark god]

No desire to date that young. They're immature in their mid 30's. I could only imagine how infantile they are between 18 - 23.

yea but they sure look good at that age lol

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

No desire to date that young. They're immature in their mid 30's. I could only imagine how infantile they are between 18 - 23.

You are seeking thin, youn, attractive. Not, milks gone bad, baby fever and bulking season has kicked off. Not doing it right kuz.