Hard not being a CHUMP!

[Kaliffoo]

Its hard avoiding being a chump when I have no clue how to handle the situation...I'll give you guys the story and you tell whats going on..

Last weekend I met a hb9 at a bar hit it off and ended the night making out, exchanged numbers and all was good. This past Saturday we went out to dinner to a nice waterfront restaurant, had a good convo going the whole meal. After the meal she tells me she wants to walk along the docks, so we do and we're just holding hands are chattin. After a little while I walk her to her car say goodbye and go in for a kiss and she turned a gave me her cheek.

I walked to my car confused because last weekend we were making out like crazy. 5 minutes later on my way home she calls me from her car:

Her: Hey, so how do you think the date went?
Me: I think it went pretty good.
Her: It was a date right?
Me: umm, yeah. I would say so.
Her: Ok cool, i thought so too, but i didnt want to assume anything.

Now I'm confused on why this chick wouldnt want to kiss now but before she did. She did mention she wants to go out again...what do guys think is going on?

 

[Lifeforce]

alcohol does stuff to people. Maybe she feels it's just going too fast. If she didn't give you a kiss then it is not necessarily a sign she has low interest. Perhaps she just want to get to know you more first. I know myself I will turn down girls who try to kiss me too quick, I need time to get to know them a little more before I kiss them or do more even if I like them alot. See how the second date goes. If she want to get to know you then she probably consider you relationship material.

 

[Jake-inator]

She doesn't want to kiss but still "wants to see you"?

Of couse she wants to see you, who wouldn't want a free dinner at a nice restaurant on the docks.

If she want to get to know you then she probably consider you relationship material.

I don't like the sound of that Lifeforce. So a relationship material guy gets to wait for sex, while a jerk can get it from her anytime he wants?

Mistakes you made:

- Going on a dinner date.
- Letting her lead: she suggested going down to the docks. sounds like you had no other ideas.
- Letting her know way too soon you were interested in a relationship.

She was confused whether you were a jerk/nice guy, now she's figured it out.


I think you had everythin goin' for you last time, and the dinner date put you into Mr. Nice Guy category.
I would try and get her on a second date, hopefully one where you don't pay for dinner.
Make it something fun then see where it goes.

 

[DJDamage]

Maybe you didn't bring enough sexual energy to the date. In the bar you were making out with her and touching her like crazy while the two of you were drunk. If during your convo during your dinner you didn't intiate kino or you weren't C&F then she would think that something is wrong.

She would be thinking: "Ok in the bar he was all over me but in here he acts like a cold fish, what is going on here, is he interested me or not?"

She wants you to gear up the physical stuff so she she won't have to guess where she stands with you.

P.S
I hope you didn't go all out and payed for the dinner.

 

[Kaliffoo]

Thats a pretty good point life...she does seem to want a relationship more than just a casual thing.

Jake -I dont think this chick is just out for the freebies...she makes a lot of money and a comment about how she hates golddiggers.

 

[Kaliffoo]

Damage- I did actually...I just thought since I invited I pay.

 

[Jake-inator]

she makes a lot of money and a comment about how she hates golddiggers.

Maybe she's a hypocrit and hates when people use her for money, but enjoys using other people.
Did she ever offer to pay for anything?

I'm just saying you should watch out!
You're paying for a girl's dinner and getting nothing in return.
I've seen guys like that get screwed over time and time again.

 

[DJDamage]

If you payed for dinner and she has the audocity to call you and ask you if "was that a date?" then I have to be a little concerned.

"User" alart pops into my head when chicks do that, because there are many girls out there who go on a date with a nice guy while he pays for her dinner (essentially she is there to be fed, she is on the date for the dinner not for him) then she thanks him gives him a hug or allow him to kiss her on the cheek. The nice guy then gets angry, confused and frustrated that he is not getting anywhere with her and goes home to jerk off, while she goes out and fvcks another dude that is not a supplicating wuss.

Be careful - that is why its never good to buy dinners so soon. In paying dinner you are trying to invest in the relationship and therefore it is not an issue. However if you found out she is just using you, then its like throwing money down the toilet. Just like when you put money in the bank you expect interest rates to make your money grow. If there was no gurentee your money will grow and your money might start to dissapear you wouldn't put your money in the bank.

You can still have fun on dates and not spend a whole lot of money just need to find creative things to do. When she earns your trust and love then you can spend the money if you like.

 

[Double]

he didnt say he paid for dinner, i hope not.

my take on the situation is: she was drunk and horny so she made out with you. but now she thinks of maybe getting in a relationship with you so she doesnt want you to think that she is easy.

first you have to decide what you want

if you just want to fvck then isolate her next time and try it(multiple times if necessary). if she doesnt put out she is out.

if you want a bit more(integrain her in your life in some way) then do what you feel like doing on the next date, dont pressure her to anything but try to advance things, gotta take the lead

 

[Kaliffoo]

I wouldnt mind a relationship with this chick because so far she's been very nice, funny smart and is EXTREMELY hot. Im going to see her 1 more time and see where it goes from there.

 

[Lifeforce]

Originally posted by Kaliffoo
Thats a pretty good point life...she does seem to want a relationship more than just a casual thing.

Jake -I dont think this chick is just out for the freebies...she makes a lot of money and a comment about how she hates golddiggers.

Then she probably are just holding back until she has more connection with you. I get that feeling when I read your post. She seem to have interest but she want to take it kind of slow which is good. Girls work differently, some want to kiss on the first date if they are horny, some want to take it slow and not sabotage a potential relationship. Anyway, after the second date you probably will know. Don't take her to anyplace fancy.

 

[Jariel]

The way I'm reading it is that it was just one of those awkward moments where she didn't know if you were going to kiss her on the lips or cheek.

 

[crowes22]

This is quite possibly a case of ASD (anti slut defense). She may feel that way after drunkenly making out w/ you before. I have had that happen. Let's hope that is the culprit.

--Crowes

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Two general pieces of advice:
1) You are the prize, not her! Read up on this post by Pook:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=16796&highlight=prize

2) If you give out too much critical information, the mystery is lost

Originally posted by Kaliffoo
I walked to my car confused because last weekend we were making out like crazy. 5 minutes later on my way home she calls me from her car:

Her: Hey, so how do you think the date went?

Stop right here. With respect to 1) and 2) that I suggested above, you need to reframe the conversation:

"Me: Date? I thought we were just hanging out. It's good to know you thought of it as a date though. I didn't know that you liked me that much!"

From here, you can continue to tease her, etc. You don't want her to verbally hear how much you like her. Once she knows she has your balls, she'll be looking for another set of balls to conquer!

So how will she know that you might be interested in her? She'll know you have some interest in her when you are sliding you c*ck into her p*ssy.

Maximus_Decimus

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Re: Re: Hard not being a CHUMP!

 

[sexualchocolate]

i had this same thing happen to me a year ago, almost exactly. Drunk at a bar kissing a hb9, went out to dinner and nothing happened. Needless to say i was thouroughly confused myself. It was probably the alcohol.

I wouldnt get to serious with a girl who gets loose from one Zima. Many headaches to come from that. Especially if shes a college girl. That thing prolly gets beat up on the regular if she drinks often.

 

[Kaliffoo]

She's not in college, i am...i'm 21 and she's 25. Thats the weird thing, She told me she wasnt drunk at the bar that the whole night she had 2 drinks.

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by Kaliffoo
She's not in college, i am...i'm 21 and she's 25. Thats the weird thing, She told me she wasnt drunk at the bar that the whole night she had 2 drinks.

If she is telling the truth, you are OK. Just go out w/ her again and definetly go for a kiss, a real kiss, no peck. If she gives pulls away again I'd drop her. Like I said this could be a classic case of ASD.

--Crowes

 

[sexualchocolate]

It seems a lil early to call it. Usually after a first date i try to get them back to the house for the second. Usually enough trust built in them by then if you were a good boy.

Have a couple of drinks, something chicks love like sex on the beach, white russians, something mild and sweet. She probably wont turn these down. Not trying to get her sloshed and date rape her, just to loosen her up. B/C unconciously she has her guard up being in your domain.

Make sure your bedroom isnt all 18'ish with Fast n Furious posters and the Barbie Twins holding each other. You want a contemporary setting with nice furniture, it shows maturity, something she might like being older than you. ( I dont know where that came from....hehe)

Whatever the f*ck you want to do you need to kissing her soon. Thats just one of my sneak attacks. B/C if youre not kissing her soon, you probably wont be at all. The above is just to set you up quickly to see if she digs you or not. Dating older women is the shyt.

I hope you get laid...good look haha