Happy Guys Finish Last

[Ninja Dude]

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/05/110524070310.htm

Women find happy guys significantly less sexually attractive than swaggering or brooding men, according to a new University of British Columbia study that helps to explain the enduring allure of "bad boys" and other iconic gender types.

The study -- which may cause men to smile less on dates, and inspire online daters to update their profile photos -- finds dramatic gender differences in how men and women rank the sexual attractiveness of non-verbal expressions of commonly displayed emotions, including happiness, pride, and shame.
Very few studies have explored the relationship between emotions and attraction, and this is the first to report a significant gender difference in the attractiveness of smiles. The study, published online in the American Psychological Association journal Emotion, is also the first to investigate the attractiveness of displays of pride and shame.

"While showing a happy face is considered essential to friendly social interactions, including those involving sexual attraction -- few studies have actually examined whether a smile is, in fact, attractive," says Prof. Jessica Tracy of UBC's Dept. of Psychology. "This study finds that men and women respond very differently to displays of emotion, including smiles."
In a series of studies, more than 1,000 adult participants rated the sexual attractiveness of hundreds of images of the opposite sex engaged in universal displays of happiness (broad smiles), pride (raised heads, puffed-up chests) and shame (lowered heads, averted eyes).

The study found that women were least attracted to smiling, happy men, preferring those who looked proud and powerful or moody and ashamed. In contrast, male participants were most sexually attracted to women who looked happy, and least attracted to women who appeared proud and confident.

"It is important to remember that this study explored first-impressions of sexual attraction to images of the opposite sex," says Alec Beall, a UBC psychology graduate student and study co-author. "We were not asking participants if they thought these targets would make a good boyfriend or wife -- we wanted their gut reactions on carnal, sexual attraction." He says previous studies have found positive emotional traits and a nice personality to be highly desirable in a relationship partners.

Tracy and Beall say that other studies suggest that what people find attractive has been shaped by centuries of evolutionary and cultural forces. For example, evolutionary theories suggest females are attracted to male displays of pride because they imply status, competence and an ability to provide for a partner and offspring.

According to Beall, the pride expression accentuates typically masculine physical features, such as upper body size and muscularity. "Previous research has shown that these features are among the most attractive male physical characteristics, as judged by women," he says.
The researchers say more work is needed to understand the differing responses to happiness, but suggest the phenomenon can also be understood according to principles of evolutionary psychology, as well as socio-cultural gender norms.
For example, past research has associated smiling with a lack of dominance, which is consistent with traditional gender norms of the "submissive and vulnerable" woman, but inconsistent with "strong, silent" man, the researchers say. "Previous research has also suggested that happiness is a particularly feminine-appearing expression," Beall adds.

"Generally, the results appear to reflect some very traditional gender norms and cultural values that have emerged, developed and been reinforced through history, at least in Western cultures," Tracy says. "These include norms and values that many would consider old-fashioned and perhaps hoped that we've moved beyond."

Displays of shame, Tracy says, have been associated with an awareness of social norms and appeasement behaviors, which elicits trust in others. This may explain shame's surprising attractiveness to both genders, she says, given that both men and women prefer a partner they can trust.

While this study focused on sexual attraction between heterosexual men and women in North America, the researchers say future studies will be required to explore the relationship between emotions and sexual attractiveness among homosexuals and non-Western cultures.

Overall, the researchers found that men ranked women more attractive than women ranked men.

 

[Chamber36]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLQ_vfpoGsY

 

[Mike32ct]

There are different styles that work.

Certainly, being a fun, smiling, outgoing guy can get you girls. No question. But I've seen plenty of stone-faced guys pull too. I don't mean the quiet creepy guy that stays corner and stares.

I mean the aggressive man of few words who approaches with confidence and a thick skin. It's more of a bad boy style. He starts dancing with a girl at a club and then grinding with her. Maybe later, he will even pull her. But he exchanges few if any words and rarely smiles. It's all about confidence, swagger, etc. It's all conveyed through body language. He doesn't have to be smiley or entertaining to pull.

I'm not a big club person, but I've even done some bar pickups that were relatively serious with little to no smiling.

Generally, I think if you are working groups of women (so called "sets") you need to smile, be outgoing and fun because it's harder to hold the attention of multiple females. But, if you work solo and go for lone wolves, it's not strictly necessary to smile.

 

[Rogue]

Roissy had commented on similar research by OKCupid which found that men are best advised to not smile.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/01/26/are-pickup-artists-wrong-about-the-benefits-of-smiling/

Women do have a tingle for the international mystery man. This is why salesmen on the road score so easily. It’s the “expert from afar” phenomenon that women can’t resist. Possibly mixed in with a little of the ol’ subconscious desire for hybrid vigor. The problem for women, as is the curse of their mercurial gender, lies in the tension between two contradictory pulls that happens in their brains — women love dark mystery men but they also love happy, smiling, social men. What is a woman to do? The smiling social man and the mysterious brooding man are hardly ever occupied by the same man (although I have made an art of managing it). Judging by OKCupid’s data, the best course of action for a man who insists upon internet dating (it’s a sucker’s bet for the average man) is to post a picture of yourself staring intensely into the distance at the horizon. Or at a stripper just outside the picture frame. The girl looking at your profile pic will never know the difference.

While internet profile pics are only a simulation of real-life face to face interactions, the knowledge gleaned from internet messaging habits does help inform men what might work best in a nonvirtual scenario (what used to be known as “getting out of bed in the morning”). For instance, if you are going to play “serial killer stare her into submission” your best course of action is to leaven your hard stare with a flirty grin. But you’re much better off not making intense eye contact. If women prefer the man who looks preoccupied with something else besides her, then in a social situation you want to limit your pre-approach eye contact to the bare minimum (just enough to make it register with your target) and refrain from excessive smiling, if at all. You also want to look like your full attention is directed elsewhere, and that it requires a serious face. After all, a man’s business is serious. Always. With a heavily hooded sorcerer’s robe and the right lighting (stand over a floorlight) you can attract more than your fair share of curious women, then wow them with a surprise smile once she peeks under the hood.

So unlike the advice of a lot of pickup instructors, I say don’t smile at the girl when you are walking toward her. Don’t frown either, of course. Just a dab of deviousness will do ya.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

People tend to assume that the findings in studies like this are readily applicable to the real world. They're not.

You really need to read the conclusions of the investigators, and you must notice what they DO NOT say, which include things like "this means that men should not smile and should always puff their chests out when in the club." The reason you don't read these things, is because scientists realize that this is a deconstructionist form of research and is not the slightest bit integrative or practical.

In the ACTUAL SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE i.e. the original article written by the investigators, you will NOT find them referring to real world situations where they recommend changing your posture or facial expressions for the purpose of eliciting attention/attraction from the opposite sex. It is therefore pointless to try to poke holes in the practicality of these studies, as they do not make statements or draw conclusions about practical interactions.

 

[d!ckmojo]

The study is 100% correct, there can be no quibbling and eviquivocation about it.

C'mon guys! This is David Deangelo DYD 101 stuff. Don't ignore valuable insight into cold hard reality when it is presented to you.

James Bond rarely smiles. He almost never laughs. Smiling IS a body language sign of SUBMISSION, of wanting to fit into the social group. Notice a good stand-up comedian? They don't smile and laugh, everyone else is smiling and laughing, they are maintaining character. That is a very alpha thing to do.

Smiling does not trigger attraction, (at least a broad, wide, cheesy type of smile). Direct, smouldering eye-contact, HARD eye-contact, with a hint of a frown, or even a hint of contempt, VERY effectively triggers attraction.

Don't hate the truth guys. Its there for anyone how can lay aside their preconceptions and accept it.

 

[Sparky]

^^^ I'd go with that. I've always found for me that being slightly "broody" yet still approachable has worked. I don't try and be this way, just am.

My take on it is the broodiness indicates you're concentrating on "building" or "devoping" something, which women find attractive. Smiling indicates that you're satisfied and resting on your laurels.

 

[SoSuaveDude]

sigh* you guys are trying way too hard again :crackup: . if you want to smile then fkin smile, if you don't, then don't. This has very little relevance, if any, on a girl's attraction too you. And the james bond comparison is ridiculous! This is real life, so get real!

 

[Jariel]

Take the article with a grain of salt.

First off...look at the source..

"While showing a happy face is considered essential to friendly social interactions, including those involving sexual attraction -- few studies have actually examined whether a smile is, in fact, attractive," says Prof. Jessica Tracy

It's some professor...who doesn't exactly go by the rules that "we" follow.

The knowledge here and the knowledge that we know...are not in "studies" outside of this realm.

Read this article here. It's changed my outlook when I read it about 5 years ago.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=17013

The guy with the girls is not the creepy (non-smiling) guy in the corner. It's the guy who is smiling, having FUN and shows it all over his face.

Whoever tells you that smiling makes you finish last doesn't know shyt.

You want "studies" that prove otherwise? You won't find it in articles out there..but you'll hear it from testimony after testimony after testimony from folks here who can attest to the fact that a smile is one of your greatest arsenals......not some article from these folks who do "studies" and aren't the ones getting laid. The only way you're gonna get in the mix is if a girl can trust you and she thinks you're a bundle of fun. And it all starts with a smile.

I agree 100%.

All this academic research and studying is so contrived, not just in dating, but everywhere. Many of these professors don't have a clue as all their knowledge comes from books written by other professors and the like.

The guy with hot women vying for his attention, on the other hand, is a guy whose advice I will take!

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Jariel, I believe the problem is not with academic scientists, but with scientifically illiterate people trying to reinterpret what is written and to apply it to situations to which the research wasn't meant to be applied.

You trust scientists to make vaccines, cure diseases, and help people with psychological problems, but you turn around and say they know nothing but what is found in books.

It's worth noting that nowhere in the article do the scientists themselves say "smile less and you'll be more attractive when in a bar." Those kinds of assertions are made as pure speculation by the journalist writing the summary article, and they're made in a very sneaky way - they suggest that readers might do this or that in response to the conclusions of the article. Pop science articles like this are all hype and almost no game.

Don't hate on scientists as a group of people simply because you don't understand what they do. It's impossible to understand what was done, how it was done, and what conclusions can be reasonably drawn from it without reading the original article. Notice that the scientists' comments had nothing to do with "what you should do at a bar."

 

[Sparky]

sigh* you guys are trying way too hard again :crackup: . if you want to smile then fkin smile, if you don't, then don't. This has very little relevance, if any, on a girl's attraction too you. And the james bond comparison is ridiculous! This is real life, so get real!

FTW! Girls are attracted to guys that know themselves and act how they want, not "trying" to be anything else.

Me - like I said earlier, I'm pretty broody and moody, have been since birth. I don't "try" to be anything I'm not, it's a waste of time and effort. I would just come off as ridiculous if I tried to be bubbly. The only time I've been bubbly was after inbibing a particulary good ecstasy pill during the nineties perhaps.

Even scrawny old Woody Allen gets women (or at least some, I assume?) . That should speak volumes.

Chocolate ice cream doesn't try and be caviar and vice versa.
Rock music doesn't try to be classical music and vice versa.
But both are equally as attractive.

I think the point is, you don't HAVE to be a "smiler" to attract women. They have a wide range of tastes. Just find a woman that goes for your particular demeanour.

 

[zekko]

sigh* you guys are trying way too hard again :crackup: . if you want to smile then fkin smile, if you don't, then don't. This has very little relevance, if any, on a girl's attraction too you. And the james bond comparison is ridiculous! This is real life, so get real!

I agree with this. I suppose the clubs are now going to be full of guys lined up scowling lol. Honestly, this study makes me want to smile just to stand out. Really, I just don't think this matters. There are times when it is appropriate to smile, and times when it is not.

And James Bond gets women because it is in the script for him to do so.
You ever notice how he gets these women? Usually they just fall into his lap, he doesn't even have to do anything. He just steps off the boat and some hot girl approaches him. Half the time they're female spies who pick him up to keep an eye on him anyway.

 

[Jariel]

Deadly Ripped: Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for many scientists, particularly those who work with factual issues, in labs and that kind of thing, but the types of academics that do these studies are rarely noteworthy scientists.

I conducted a number of linguistic studies and took part in others (and researched those done by the pros) which sound very similar to this. It's all very contrived and a lot of the time the person conducting the study is subjective - they just want to prove their point. Obviously not all academic studies are the same, but after spending time in those circles I will never take them particularly seriously.

 

[DJ Logic]

Interesting article and some even more interesting responses. Here is my take:

It's all about the context!

If you are lone-wolfing it, then yes, smiling makes you look like a creepy douchebag. You should have a straight poker face and a slight smirk at most.

If you are one-on-one with a girl you should only smile when you actually feel like it. Let her earn those pearly whites. If you are smiling the whole time its just weird (do you smile at your friends like that? Didnt think so)

In a group you should never resist a smile. I've always gotten the most positive reactions from girls after they have seen me goofing off with my friends and just not giving a f-ck about anything.

It's all situational

 

[Python]

I think it depends on the guy. All I can say is I get laid wayyy more "looking" (note that I am actually happy in an environment serving alchohol so it's impossible not to smile) happy than I do looking like a miserable prick.

Besides with my somewhat intimidating looks (when I look grumpy) I'd probably never get into clubs, end up getting attacked by beta-male drunks, and scaring off the girls.

I think what this study implies is that you need to be a hybrid type of male.

At the end of the day each guy eventually develops his own skills acdcording to what suits him best.

That's my two cents. God Bless.