Happily Married Couples

[SamMalone]

How many guys do you know that a married and really happy? I literally know zero. How sad is that? I know they love their kids and stuff but when I talk to them they tell me they would never get married again if given the choice. What are your views on this?

 

[sifer]

How many guys do you know that a married and really happy? I literally know zero. How sad is that? I know they love their kids and stuff but when I talk to them they tell me they would never get married again if given the choice. What are your views on this?

I only know two, they love each other so deathly, I don't think I ever saw one without the other. Both are in their 60s or 70s.

I think maybe you try to purposedly find unhappy couples and you get plenty of them? I don't try anything, I just hope for the best, use common sense, act and think in a positive manner and I find happy people, people who are genuinely happy.

Like today, I saw a grandma walking down the block with a chihuahua. Made me smile cause it was so cute.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Define "happy." I know several who believe that they are by their own definition. Me, I'd want more; but I'm a greedy bastard!

 

[CLOONEY]

I know a few happily married couples.

Myself, I get bored of manogomy, but thats my own flaw and something I have to try and somehow work on.

 

[Porky]

I know a lot of happily married couples.

my parents, for one.

 

[RedPill]

I've run across many happily married old (senior-aged) couples. They are older than the Baby Boomer generation, and while its idealist to look at them and say "see, that's how it ought to be," I look at them and say "It's interesting to see how people behaved before society was polluted with feminism." Many of my clients are retired or near-retired, and I love to hear their life stories because they can tell me stuff that would NEVER happen now. i.e. Life before political correctness, lawsuits, sexual harassment, assault charges, Sex and the City, etc.

These people aside, all younger (let's say 50 and below) married couples I know it's a whole different story. I'd say MOST of the marriages I've observed fall into a couple different categories.

1) The Young Naïve Couple. They started dating in their early 20s, or younger, do not have a whole lot of experience dating others, and have not really been tested by life. They’re often highly religious. It’s a divorce waiting to happen once financial realities or career realities set in.
2) The Soulmates. This couple is the epitome of AFCness. The loser couple between 25-40 who finally found someone equally chump who’s into them. The line is really blurred between happiness and comatose.
3) Older Guy, Younger Chick. These are maybe the best marriages I’ve seen. The guy has either been divorced or spent his younger years building his career, and goes to find himself a woman who is feminine, attractive, and actually wants to live the traditional wife role.
4) Comfortably Numb. I’d say this defines most marriages I’ve observed, especially when the people are over 30. Perhaps because I grew up in the suburbs, and this is the most common there. They’ve been together a long time, figure they’ll be together forever, aren’t really all that sexually interested in each other, but usually a lack of balls on the man’s part keeps them together. He’s happy to be the slave, and she pines for an alpha male. Nobody gets what they truly desire, but they say they’re happy. The standard for happiness has been lowered big-time.

The institution of marriage itself keeps the sheep in line. I’ll never get married in the traditional sense. If I do, it will be more of a contractual LTR, where I can opt out at any time with minimal consequences. The hard part of creating an indefinite LTR (enough with this life-long partner business, nothing is life-long unless you die together) is finding a suitable woman for the job. I guarantee if current trends continue, all the Western countries will have an economic crisis at some point because people don’t reproduce enough anymore. Of course, maybe that’s exactly by design - propagate feminism so we stop overpopulating. Who knows.

Bottom line guys, don’t let society sucker you into a bad marriage. Women will try their damndest to guilt/pressure/shame you into having your nuts cut off every morning, Prometheus-style!

 

[penkitten]

there are plenty of good solid relationships between married couples. since they arent out there complaining, they tend to get over looked.

 

[dietzcoi]

Sorry Penkitten, I think you are wrong.

I think most people do not even know what true happiness is.

Throughout history people did not marry to be happy. They married for economic and other reasons

The idea of a long term happy marriage is an invention of modern western romance novelists.

Most people on earth now and in the past are not in a so-called "happy marriage" They are just trying to survive.

Dietzcoi

 

[Shiftkey]

My parents are still married after 25+ years (not sure exactly how long). I have literally NEVER seen them fight; it's almost bizarre how well they get along. I think they're pretty happy. I also have friends with parents who are still married.

 

[CLOONEY]

My brother has been with his now wife for 12 years, and a friend of mines parents have been together 25 years. Both are VERY happy. They dont just say they are, but its obvious, they both respect eachother tremendously, they still flirt and muck around, you can see it in their eyes. They work together great and still love eachother.

A lot of people on this site seem to think successful LTR are bullsh*t! Sad to see. Myself, I am in a happy relationship, but its nowhere near these lengths of time, and I am yet to be happy with monogamy. But hopefully one day that will change! Its definately possible! But I do agree, the majority of marriages, neither partner is happy. But thats no reason to loose hope!

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

Yes, I know several happily married couples.

Mr. Pix and I are happily married. But marriage did NOT make us happy. We were satisfied with ourselves in our single lives; we didn’t seek a mate to find “true happiness”, only to add to it. Marriage enhanced the happiness we had within.

It is my belief that no person, thing or amount of money can MAKE you happy. Happiness is achieved with your mind, body and spirit. People and things can add to that happiness and, unfortunately, subtract from it too. Being a complete, strong individual is the key to keeping your happiness balanced.

 

[XSilverStarboyX]

I have only really seen the happy couples that are in thier 60's-80's. I think the problem is that moral values have changed with a lot of people, and people get married too young to know what they want

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

FYI, fighting isn't the tell tale sign of a troubled marriage. Many people in unhappy marriages don't fight because they don't care anymore. Those are the ones who are usually together just for economic reasons.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...My mate's got a good analogy. Think of a relationship like a heart monitor, you have your ups and downs. Obviously ups are the great times, downs are the not so great times (but like a heart monitor the downs always eventually come back up again). But when a heart monitor stops it means the person's dead and the same could be said for realtionships, if you've no ups and downs then I figure the relationship isn't that great....

Good analogy!

 

[RedPill]

Mr. Pix and I are happily married. But marriage did NOT make us happy. We were satisfied with ourselves in our single lives; we didn’t seek a mate to find “true happiness”, only to add to it. Marriage enhanced the happiness we had within.

It is my belief that no person, thing or amount of money can MAKE you happy. Happiness is achieved with your mind, body and spirit. People and things can add to that happiness and, unfortunately, subtract from it too. Being a complete, strong individual is the key to keeping your happiness balanced.

You get it. Unfortunately you're the exception these days, not the rule.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Mrs. Tomassi and I just celebrated our 10th anniversary last week. We're still very appreciative of each other, we still love each other and we fukk like rabbits when she's not on the rag. We support each other and we both play on the same team and we're on the same page spiritually, emotionally and politically. In 10 years we've had maybe 4 real fights which were really the results of miscommunication and they lasted only a day. I'm very passionate with my wife and she looks better at 41 than 90% of the coeds I've seen at the universties I attend.

It is entirely possible to have a great marriage, but like life in general it has it's ups & downs. She is NOT my soulmate, because we both don't subscribe to that mythology; she is a good One and I am a good One and we work, play & love very well together. We both know what our strengths and weaknesses are and we compliment each other with both of these. We got married after dating a year and waited 2 before we CHOSE to have a child. That makes us an oddity today.

I'm not anti-marriage, I'm anti-bad marriage. Most couples today enter into marriage for entirely the wrong reasons and the repercussions ripple through their lives and the lives of their families, friends and even people they'll never know.

 

[TheTrader]

I know a few happily married couples.

Myself, I get bored of manogomy, but thats my own flaw and something I have to try and somehow work on.

i hope you don't work on castrating yourself or how else you wanna work on that "flaw"

 

[CLOONEY]

i hope you don't work on castrating yourself or how else you wanna work on that "flaw"

No one way to work on it. Just keep trying different things, make sure its always entertaining, and yes, sometimes I do create fights just for fun. Its good to have some big dust ups sometimes. I must say, I agree with the two guys above who said that fights are good and without them could mean you are bored. My ex and I NEVER fought after the first few months, and I can truly say that was because I didnt give a fukc! That heart monitor analogy was PERFECT!!

But even though I am never completely happy with one girl and hence manogomy, I am far happier in a healthy relationship than I am being single. I did my years of being the "player", spending insane amounts of money on clothes, my car, material posessions, being known as the guy who all the chicks love (and that in turn, makes so many more girls want you), but that is the biggest load of media bullsh*t I have EVER come accross in my life to date. I was never nearly as happy as when I am in a good relationship and especially missed the companionship you get in a relationship very much so.

 

[penkitten]

Mrs. Tomassi and I just celebrated our 10th anniversary last week. We're still very appreciative of each other, we still love each other and we fukk like rabbits when she's not on the rag. We support each other and we both play on the same team and we're on the same page spiritually, emotionally and politically. In 10 years we've had maybe 4 real fights which were really the results of miscommunication and they lasted only a day. I'm very passionate with my wife and she looks better at 41 than 90% of the coeds I've seen at the universties I attend.

It is entirely possible to have a great marriage, but like life in general it has it's ups & downs. She is NOT my soulmate, because we both don't subscribe to that mythology; she is a good One and I am a good One and we work, play & love very well together. We both know what our strengths and weaknesses are and we compliment each other with both of these. We got married after dating a year and waited 2 before we CHOSE to have a child. That makes us an oddity today.

I'm not anti-marriage, I'm anti-bad marriage. Most couples today enter into marriage for entirely the wrong reasons and the repercussions ripple through their lives and the lives of their families, friends and even people they'll never know.

i really liked this post and i only hope that some guys can read it and understand that real men can have meaningful relationships and marriages.

i think that the majority of guys on this site have just been put thru the ringer with women before and cant get past that yet. others i feel have just never given relationships a shot because either they dont want to or they are picking the wrong girls to have relationships with.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Neither my wife or myself really see our marriage as particularly "meaningful", and that's not a bad thing. It's not like we sit around gazing blissfully into each others eyes thinking how "meaning-full" our relationship is; we just do what we do. I think that's where the hang up is for most people. We're not particularly proud of our relationship because we see it as something people should do as a matter of course. We're not looking for a cookie or a gold star for something people SHOULD do anyway.

I'm one of those guys who's been put through the ringer by a psychotic woman and it's entirely possible to bring oneself back to solid ground once they really appreciate what mature dating/relationships are like.

As great a marriage/LTR I have with my wife, I think men and women should resist commitment and marriage tooth and nail until they can honestly and thouroughly, by way of YEARS of experience, say to themselves that even though every impulse they have in their consciousness and prior experience warns them against monogamy, they can still justify in themselves that they've honestly experienced such a wide variety of men/women that this One particular person could be someone they'd spend the rest of their lives with.

No one of any gender should even consider monogamy until 28-30 years of age, and even then only after spinning multiple plates simultaneously. One thing that makes me want to put my fist in a guy's face is when a 19 y.o. kid tells me how he's been with enough girls to make him "sure" he's found the girl he wants to marry. I'll take the off-bet on that wager everytime it comes up.