Hanging out with my gf and her girl friends: bad idea?

[jnMissouri]

I saw a thread that DOES NOT apply to me since we are already a couple, sleeping together and have exchanged I love you with each other (https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/rule-dont-hang-out-with-her-friends.176654/).

Her gf had invited my girl to a house party (they're all Asian, my gf is in her mid twenties, I'm in my early 40's). But my girl knows I have boundaries, since there would be guys there, she asked if she could bring me, her boyfriend (otherwise she knows it's not cool to go, since she also doesn't want me to do stuff like that by myself). The girl said it's not her house and she's not sure how many people she can bring, so she said let's go to dinner instead. Right now it sounds like it's her girlfriend, my girl, and I going to dinner.

Still somewhat curious how this will go. We're a newer couple. I'm older, established gentleman who she likes for my athletic body, sense of humor and success. Mind you she has spent more money on me so far than I have on her. Her landlord has already made a comment about me being potentially married with kids since I'm older and told her to be careful (his wife and her are friends) since he sees me at her house all the time.

I still see this as a potential evaluation by her friend of a few months of me. Her friend has also invited some other people, I have no idea who. Do I stay mostly quiet and let them talk since they are friends? Do I hide my success? Do I pay the bill "you are guests of ours"? Or try to avoid? lol. Bailing will look really bad. Sounds like there's a few people coming, so I'm not picking up the bill. If it was her friend and her friends bf I'd offer to pay the bill as guests of ours.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I would say this is a perfect chance to leave a great impression on everyone. Early 40's , you're not that old man especially if you don't look it. Let people know you're mature but you're still cool and down to Earth. If there are a buncha people eating, dont have to pick up the bill just pay for you and your girl ..

Not all house parties are like Chicago juke parties of the early 2000's, where you walk in and everyone is basically dry fuccin each other to fast past "juke music" that is intended for that exact purpose.. (lol yeah chicagos party scene was pretty wild back then). Then again those parties were mostly for like highschoolers

Most people in their mid 20s have pretty civil parties that can be alot of fun, good convo, alcohol, good music.. good people.

 

[jnMissouri]

I would say this is a perfect chance to leave a great impression on everyone. Early 40's , you're not that old man especially if you don't look it. Let people know you're mature but you're still cool and down to Earth. If there are a buncha people eating, dont have to pick up the bill just pay for you and your girl ..

Not all house parties are like Chicago juke parties of the early 2000's, where you walk in and everyone is basically dry fuccin each other to fast past "juke music" that is intended for that exact purpose.. (lol yeah chicagos party scene was pretty wild back then). Then again those parties were mostly for like highschoolers

Most people in their mid 20s have pretty civil parties that can be alot of fun, good convo, alcohol, good music.. good people.

For sure not that old, and it's her choice to be with me. She's a 10, 5 feet tall, 96 lbs, absolutely drop dead gorgeous and successful career well into the six figures. Her dad is very wealthy. I'm also wealthy, so I've been schooling her on investing and she's doing great. Planning an extravagant b day for me with the 43K she made in 2 days with my coaching, lol. Plus she likes that I'm funny AF and I have a chiseled body. She said I look more like 34.

 

[RazorRambo24]

For sure not that old, and it's her choice to be with me. She's a 10, 5 feet tall, 96 lbs, absolutely drop dead gorgeous and successful career well into the six figures. Her dad is very wealthy. I'm also wealthy, so I've been schooling her on investing and she's doing great. Planning an extravagant b day for me with the 43K she made in 2 days with my coaching, lol. Plus she likes that I'm funny AF and I have a chiseled body. She said I look more like 34.

Right on man. I've been with alot of diff flavors of women but never Asian. Props to you though for pulling a nice younger girl with a good family live, career , etc.. That's what its all about.. finding quality chicks and not settling for bums.

 

[jnMissouri]

Right on man. I've been with alot of diff flavors of women but never Asian. Props to you though for pulling a nice younger girl with a good family live, career , etc.. That's what its all about.. finding quality chicks and not settling for bums.

Ahhh, thanks brother! I met her on a high net worth dating site where I'm a verified net worth/income member. I had 5 gf's in the last year, plus a few lays where I didn't want them as gf's/they got caught in lies early on, but all of them high end/hot/successful. We were incompatible in the end. Half of them were Asian. I have a thing for Asian women, they are very petite and feminine plus I love Asian food.

Been meaning to post a thread that it's good to learn game, but focus on being high value first and foremost. I did the career, grad school, investing thing. Now I'm loaded and date high quality women. Plus I've got game (always improving) and a chiseled physique. Heck, after my really bad break up around this time last year, I reinvented myself further. Tailored designer suits, contacts, you name it.

That said, nothing seems to last forever. I hope this one works out. But I'm enjoying the time, memories and pics and videos with her for now. I might actually put a ring on this one.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I always loved it when a girl would introduce me to someone because they would almost invariably love me...though it caused some issues with their friends because after a while they would start trying to get at me which made for some awkwardness on my end.

Sounds like she is into you so just be the fun cool dude that everyone is drawn towards.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Ahhh, thanks brother! I met her on a high net worth dating site where I'm a verified net worth/income member. I had 5 gf's in the last year, plus a few lays where I didn't want them as gf's/they got caught in lies early on, but all of them high end/hot/successful. We were incompatible in the end. Half of them were Asian. I have a thing for Asian women, they are very petite and feminine plus I love Asian food.

Been meaning to post a thread that it's good to learn game, but focus on being high value first and foremost. I did the career, grad school, investing thing. Now I'm loaded and date high quality women. Plus I've got game (always improving) and a chiseled physique. Heck, after my really bad break up around this time last year, I reinvented myself further. Tailored designer suits, contacts, you name it.

That said, nothing seems to last forever. I hope this one works out. But I'm enjoying the time, memories and pics and videos with her for now. I might actually put a ring on this one.

Ay man I love to hear this. and yeah, I didn't have the conventional career path. I started college at about 25 and didn't finish, but I paved a way through e commerce and business saavy, which I always had.. Before I ever owned a business, I was flipping cars, furniture, electronics, sneakers, you name it. Great to hear you reinvented yourself.. I'm still on that path for sure. Just constant progress all the way. and yep, 100% the focus should definitely be on raising ones own value/developing a strong inner game.. I'm a big proponent of that..

I hope it works out for you too man. Sounds like your head and heart is in the right place.

 

[jnMissouri]

Ay man I love to hear this. and yeah, I didn't have the conventional career path. I started college at about 25 and didn't finish, but I paved a way through e commerce and business saavy, which I always had.. Before I ever owned a business, I was flipping cars, furniture, electronics, sneakers, you name it. Great to hear you reinvented yourself.. I'm still on that path for sure. Just constant progress all the way. and yep, 100% the focus should definitely be on raising ones own value/developing a strong inner game.. I'm a big proponent of that..

I hope it works out for you too man. Sounds like your head and heart is in the right place.

Many paths to success. You sound like you have a business mindset, adept at flipping. College for me was merely a way out of extreme poverty, a nearly guaranteed good job. I saved that money and invested it, even as my career and salary grew and I became an Exec. Now my investments pay me faaar more each year than my salary. Keep grinding. I can tell you're one of the guys who will make it big. You have that hustle and strategic mindset, always looking for opportunities...

Edited to include that I actually forgot I used to flip computers, shoes, etc. when I was younger. I'd even buy stuff at thrift stores to flip. Over time I got into real estate and well...now I own A LOT of real estate lol.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Many paths to success. You sound like you have a business mindset, adept at flipping. College for me was merely a way out of extreme poverty, a nearly guaranteed good job. I saved that money and invested it, even as my career and salary grew and I became an Exec. Now my investments pay me faaar more each year than my salary. Keep grinding. I can tell you're one of the guys who will make it big. You have that hustle and strategic mindset, always looking for opportunities...

Edited to include that I actually forgot I used to flip computers, shoes, etc. when I was younger. I'd even buy stuff at thrift stores to flip. Over time I got into real estate and well...now I own A LOT of real estate lol.

Thats sweet man, I don't own any real estate .. Def wish to be there one day. I'm in the 6 figure bracket and proud of where Im at but the sky is really the limit. Ecommerce is pretty laid back but its also challenging. What kind of investing do you do? Real estate only? and are you wholesaling properties?

 

[jnMissouri]

Thats sweet man, I don't own any real estate .. Def wish to be there one day. I'm in the 6 figure bracket and proud of where Im at but the sky is really the limit. Ecommerce is pretty laid back but its also challenging. What kind of investing do you do? Real estate only? and are you wholesaling properties?

I own and operate a large portfolio of single family rentals in one of THE most expensive housing markets in the country. That's my primary, but I also invest in stocks. I love real estate much more for the tax benefits and control. That said, I still work. I don't have to, but it's an extra few hundred K a year salary on top of investments so I figure why not. I'm the type of person if I don't do something I spend a lot of money or get bored. So I have to keep myself occupied.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I own and operate a large portfolio of single family rentals in one of THE most expensive housing markets in the country. That's my primary, but I also invest in stocks. I love real estate much more for the tax benefits and control. That said, I still work. I don't have to, but it's an extra few hundred K a year salary on top of investments so I figure why not. I'm the type of person if I don't do something I spend a lot of money or get bored. So I have to keep myself occupied.

Very nice. and yeah I can relate to that . Last year I took on a 9-5 for that same reason, to keep myself occupied as I had alot of free time.

 

[Gamisch]

I saw a thread that DOES NOT apply to me since we are already a couple, sleeping together and have exchanged I love you with each other (https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/rule-dont-hang-out-with-her-friends.176654/).

Her gf had invited my girl to a house party (they're all Asian, my gf is in her mid twenties, I'm in my early 40's). But my girl knows I have boundaries, since there would be guys there, she asked if she could bring me, her boyfriend (otherwise she knows it's not cool to go, since she also doesn't want me to do stuff like that by myself). The girl said it's not her house and she's not sure how many people she can bring, so she said let's go to dinner instead. Right now it sounds like it's her girlfriend, my girl, and I going to dinner.

Still somewhat curious how this will go. We're a newer couple. I'm older, established gentleman who she likes for my athletic body, sense of humor and success. Mind you she has spent more money on me so far than I have on her. Her landlord has already made a comment about me being potentially married with kids since I'm older and told her to be careful (his wife and her are friends) since he sees me at her house all the time.

I still see this as a potential evaluation by her friend of a few months of me. Her friend has also invited some other people, I have no idea who. Do I stay mostly quiet and let them talk since they are friends? Do I hide my success? Do I pay the bill "you are guests of ours"? Or try to avoid? lol. Bailing will look really bad. Sounds like there's a few people coming, so I'm not picking up the bill. If it was her friend and her friends bf I'd offer to pay the bill as guests of ours.

It's unclear how long you've been together. That thread is a good one. What stood out to me was this: (I copied this from the thread starter)

"Women will invite their girlfriend to check you out so they can get their opinion. The game became that much harder as you really don't know how her friend will react to you. You might do well with the target but her friend might dislike 1 little thing about you and influence your target's mind. Women are very weak minded and prone to suggestion specially from their girlfriends.

Women don't go an hour without messaging/talking to their girlfriends about you after a date. They want to tell the story, they want to tell how it went and get their opinions. Lucky for you their opinions don't have as much power considering they weren't there. But if you did allow yourself to hangout with target + girlfriend then her opinion will have A LOT OF POWER."

and this:

"1. Never agree to meet with a target if friends are going to be there as well:

Whether it be dinner, bowling or whatever. Set the tone from the start that if she wants to be with you she needs to be alone with you on a date between you two and nobody else."

 

[jnMissouri]

It's unclear how long you've been together. That thread is a good one. What stood out to me was this: (I copied this from the thread starter)

"Women will invite their girlfriend to check you out so they can get their opinion. The game became that much harder as you really don't know how her friend will react to you. You might do well with the target but her friend might dislike 1 little thing about you and influence your target's mind. Women are very weak minded and prone to suggestion specially from their girlfriends.

Women don't go an hour without messaging/talking to their girlfriends about you after a date. They want to tell the story, they want to tell how it went and get their opinions. Lucky for you their opinions don't have as much power considering they weren't there. But if you did allow yourself to hangout with target + girlfriend then her opinion will have A LOT OF POWER."

and this:

"1. Never agree to meet with a target if friends are going to be there as well:

Whether it be dinner, bowling or whatever. Set the tone from the start that if she wants to be with you she needs to be alone with you on a date between you two and nobody else."

The very top of the thread, is the part you missed the exceptions:
Until she's either your gf/fb/already had sex with her.

I've hung out with many of my gf's friends before, though we had been together longer. You can't never meet their friends dude...anyone who's ever had a gf knows this. Only reason I asked is because we've been together for 5 weeks. Though she tells me that's a long time, most guys can't handle her.

You're quoting things from the thread that are first or second date specific. If you read that thread, at the very top it says the exceptions are if you have slept together or are a couple...

We have slept together and are a couple and exchanged I love you. This girl isn't a close friend. Her former bestie was. She cut that girl out of her life largely because of me, she was a bad influence on her. The only reason I'm going is because there will be other guys there at the dinner. I'm not super worried about her doing anything, so much as it's a boundary of mine not to have male friends or hang out in groups where there are other men, which she agrees with because she ALSO doesn't want me to do those things.

I'm fine skipping it, but she also invited me to dinner with a friend of hers this week ONLY so I'm comfortable with her going out (she is EXTREMELY attractive and gets hit on CONSTANTLY. LITERALLY CONSTANTLY). I teased her about it being an evaluation of me and she smiled. Then I teased her that I was going to act like I'm retarded and embarass her. So she said please don't come then lol. I told her I wouldn't embarass her, and would let her know the next day if I was going to join. I didn't.

Only reason I'm going is because everywhere she goes guys hit on her. Grocery store? Guys hit on her. Carpool driver? Hits on her (he asked her out for Valentines day and she told him she has a bf (me) and she's spending it with me and he reacted negatively. She blocked him. Guys on her Instagram? Hit on her. Male co-workers? Hit on her. Old class mates? Hit on her. In fact one invited her over on a Saturday night since he has no date lol. She said I have a BF, he has to come (knowing he wouldn't want me there). He backed off real fast. She laid into him about his BS. Kept telling him to invite us over, knowing full well he won't want to see my have my hands over her hot ass and kissing her all night. Heck, I made a nice little porno with her last night...

 

[Gamisch]

It's unclear how long you've been together. That thread is a good one. What stood out to me was this: (I copied this from the thread starter)

"Women will invite their girlfriend to check you out so they can get their opinion. The game became that much harder as you really don't know how her friend will react to you. You might do well with the target but her friend might dislike 1 little thing about you and influence your target's mind. Women are very weak minded and prone to suggestion specially from their girlfriends.

Women don't go an hour without messaging/talking to their girlfriends about you after a date. They want to tell the story, they want to tell how it went and get their opinions. Lucky for you their opinions don't have as much power considering they weren't there. But if you did allow yourself to hangout with target + girlfriend then her opinion will have A LOT OF POWER."

and this:

"1. Never agree to meet with a target if friends are going to be there as well:

Whether it be dinner, bowling or whatever. Set the tone from the start that if she wants to be with you she needs to be alone with you on a date between you two and nobody else."

I don't know man.. you have to be confident enough to know you'll do fine. This is one of those lessons I wished I'd learned earlier in life.

Imo 5 weeks is EXTREMELY short. I wouldn't do this untill 2 to 5 solid months together.

I did read the entire thread. I highlighted this without knowing the duration of the relationship. I just hoped for at least 3 months because imo 3 months is the first important time mark.


Again, obviously at SOME point you will meet her inner circle. But not too soon! I really like the advice to isolate her and let her getting used to the fact you only have time for one on one interactions.

You're coping and trying to justify yourself while you are fully aware that its a questionable move at best. You made the thread not me. You are being almost twice her age won't necessarily help your case. I didn't include the part you've bolded,but also (purposely) left out this;

"2. There will be plenty of time to meet/hang out with her obnoxious nosy friends later. First concentrate on isolating her and moving on the next level WITH HER.

3. Are you too much of a wuss when she asks you to hang out with her friends to tell her you're busy? Can't make it? Got stuff to do? Don't fall for the trap!"

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The very top of the thread, is the part you missed the exceptions:
Until she's either your gf/fb/already had sex with her.

I've hung out with many of my gf's friends before, though we had been together longer. You can't never meet their friends dude...anyone who's ever had a gf knows this. Only reason I asked is because we've been together for 5 weeks. Though she tells me that's a long time, most guys can't handle her.

You're quoting things from the thread that are first or second date specific. If you read that thread, at the very top it says the exceptions are if you have slept together or are a couple...

We have slept together and are a couple and exchanged I love you. This girl isn't a close friend. Her former bestie was. She cut that girl out of her life largely because of me, she was a bad influence on her. The only reason I'm going is because there will be other guys there at the dinner. I'm not super worried about her doing anything, so much as it's a boundary of mine not to have male friends or hang out in groups where there are other men, which she agrees with because she ALSO doesn't want me to do those things.

I'm fine skipping it, but she also invited me to dinner with a friend of hers this week ONLY so I'm comfortable with her going out (she is EXTREMELY attractive and gets hit on CONSTANTLY. LITERALLY CONSTANTLY). I teased her about it being an evaluation of me and she smiled. Then I teased her that I was going to act like I'm retarded and embarass her. So she said please don't come then lol. I told her I wouldn't embarass her, and would let her know the next day if I was going to join. I didn't.

Only reason I'm going is because everywhere she goes guys hit on her. Grocery store? Guys hit on her. Carpool driver? Hits on her (he asked her out for Valentines day and she told him she has a bf (me) and she's spending it with me and he reacted negatively. She blocked him. Guys on her Instagram? Hit on her. Male co-workers? Hit on her. Old class mates? Hit on her. In fact one invited her over on a Saturday night since he has no date lol. She said I have a BF, he has to come (knowing he wouldn't want me there). He backed off real fast. She laid into him about his BS. Kept telling him to invite us over, knowing full well he won't want to see my have my hands over her hot ass and kissing her all night. Heck, I made a nice little porno with her last night...

You've known this girl 5 weeks and you already said "I love you"?

You don't even know this girl AT ALL as a person to even know if that's true. So...you love the 2% you know about her? Right now all you know is what she has decided to let you see, and rest assured she is putting her best foot forward at this point. She has an ugly side you haven't seen yet and probably won't see for a few months.

C'mon man...this is some super simp sh!t right here.

And if she said it first...well, buckle up my friend...you are going to be in for one hell of a ride. Love Bombing women build guys up just so they can devalue them and break them down once they reached the high point.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

For sure not that old, and it's her choice to be with me. She's a 10, 5 feet tall, 96 lbs, absolutely drop dead gorgeous and successful career well into the six figures. Her dad is very wealthy. I'm also wealthy, so I've been schooling her on investing and she's doing great. Planning an extravagant b day for me with the 43K she made in 2 days with my coaching, lol. Plus she likes that I'm funny AF and I have a chiseled body. She said I look more like 34.

She isn't a 10 bro. Those don't exist

 

[ThisIsSparta]

*Only reason I asked is because we've been together for 5 weeks. Though she tells me that's a long time, most guys can't handle her.

*We have slept together and are a couple and exchanged I love you.

*Only reason I'm going is because everywhere she goes guys hit on her.

3 red flags..... and god knows how much more of which we dont know anything yet.

When a woman brags about all the guys that cant handle her... she is trouble.

When a woman is telling you after a couple of weeks that she loves you, shes a time bomb, ticking and waiting to go off.

When "everybody" hits on her.... she might encourage that behaviour in men (and therefore cant be left alone) ...... more trouble!


Asides from that, the "10" is a unicorn, dont treat her like she is one and be prepared to face the ugly side of her, just waiting to come out.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Too many questions. You are overthinking this.

Be you. Enjoy yourself.

PS: If you are already committed and invested in this girl, then it makes sense for you to start getting to know her social circle. Just don't over do it. Allow her to have that space, and for you to have your space.

 

[Murk]

5 weeks in and want to marry her.

Tell me more about your chiseled physique.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

5 weeks in and want to marry her.

Tell me more about your chiseled physique.

Wild stallions don't tame themselves...soemthign seems off here