Handling Moodiness/Tantrums

[Dynamited]

Hey guys

I've been dating this girl for a few months.

And she has this emotional 'thing' of shutting down and being a stranger when she's feeling hot from the weather or tired.

And it happened a few times and she will just walk off by herself or just be very withdrawn.

I've told her before to just give me a heads up if she's feeling that way so that we can go somewhere cooler and rest up abit.

Her response is that she's too emotional to tell me at that point and i should not be selfish and take it personally.

To be honest, I find it rather irritating when it happens cos i have to deal with it. I rather leave and go back home.

How would you guys handle it?

 

[backseatjuan]

Red flag? She has daddy issues?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1cVi8txGaA

The solution has never been to handle anything, the solution has always been to deversify your options.

Picture yourself with her 10 years from now, you two have kids, and she does this. Will this be a satisfying and strong relationship?

 

[Dynamited]

Yeah, i get what you mean..It is a rather frustrating experience for me when it happens.

Because i feel like on a date by myself when she acts up...how do i not take it personally.

 

[Dynamited]

True that SP. I'm gona do that the next time she acts up again

 

[Glassguy]

@Dynamited
Let me assist as you spell out exactly what you should be doing but dont realize it:

she has this emotional 'thing' of shutting down and being a stranger when she's feeling hot from the weather or tired

No- she has a thing of being a spoiled brat. That's what she has.

she will just walk off by herself or just be very withdrawn.

Because she is a brat and VERY immature.

've told her before to just give me a heads up if she's feeling that way so that we can go somewhere cooler and rest up abit.

You basically just told her that its ok for her to act this way as long as she lets you know in advance. Is that a strong frame?

Her response is that she's too emotional to tell me at that point

She is a brat. Major communication issues and this chick wouldnt last 5 minutes around me before I left her and blocked her number. Again, totally immature.

and i should not be selfish and take it personally.

This is the only thing she said that makes sense. She is telling you that you shouldnt get butthurt over how she acts because its just who she is.......a spoiled brat that cant communicate.

I find it rather irritating when it happens

As you should

cos i have to deal with it

You dont HAVE to deal with it at all. You choose to.

I rather leave and go back home.

This is the only thing you said that makes sense.

How would you guys handle it?

I would have left and went home. Or I would gotten on my phone and texted another chick to meet me some where close for a drink. Or went and played golf. Or went home and took a nap. Literally anything besides staying there looking at her bratty @ss.

Here is the deal- no matter what type of relationship you want from a woman (Plate, fwb, GF) communication is KEY.

This chick seems bratty and totally lacks the ability to communicate like an adult.

Failure to communicate = instant dismissal. Its incompatibility on ANY level.

What should you do? Just disappear and go date other chicks. You wont change her....ever. This is the type of woman that will play the victim card every time something doesnt go her way. Is that the type of person you want to be around?

Just disappear. When she texts you in a couple of days and asks why you stopped talking to her, simply tell her that this isnt working out because she cant communicate like and adult and you are going to date and play the field.

If at that point she wants to just come over and be a fvck buddy, so be it. But go find new chicks.

 

[Atom Smasher]

^^ Yup ^^

 

[cola]

Had a chick like this but she was like yours x1000.
This is a real example: Asked me to stop and get food and they put pickles on her cheeseburger, she said not a word for 6 hours over this. This was when I was a bit younger and had more patience for stuff like this.

One day, I pick her up just to hang out at my house, watch some movies nothing special. Soon as she gets in the car she starts that stupid pouting stuff.
I get two lights, after she has entered my vehicle and not even acknowledged my presence and bang a UTurn in the middle of traffic. She says “Where are you going”

I look her in her eyes and say “You are going back home b*tch. Im not dealing with your bullsh*t today.” She behaved the rest of the day, gave me amazing head and we had a good afternoon.

That was an epiphany, an aha moment .. not just for her but women in general.

 

[jaymbrs]

People deal with **** differently. There have been times where I get moody over stuff that I just need some time alone to either process it or sort it out. My current GF gets like this too. When this happens, we give each other some space.

 

[Epic Days]

Hey guys

I've been dating this girl for a few months.

And she has this emotional 'thing' of shutting down and being a stranger when she's feeling hot from the weather or tired.

And it happened a few times and she will just walk off by herself or just be very withdrawn.

I've told her before to just give me a heads up if she's feeling that way so that we can go somewhere cooler and rest up abit.

Her response is that she's too emotional to tell me at that point and i should not be selfish and take it personally.

To be honest, I find it rather irritating when it happens cos i have to deal with it. I rather leave and go back home.

How would you guys handle it?

I don’t see anything wrong with this. The real important question is WHY do you get irritated? Would you rather have an argument or a spat? Somehow make her wrong from displaying what she already knows to be her ugly bytch side?

She said she’s too emotional at that point. So which is it? Do you want her drama? Or do you let her take a break?

The real tragedy is that you become upset over this. Of course there’s some guys on here who will come up with some psycho babble stupidity, you will buy into it, and then you will feel absolved. Lucky you to have these guys around.

Find out why you feel slighted or why you become irritated when she’s not under your arm. Every time you display this, you are setting yourself up for a fall. To fix this, you might want to at least think about having a backup woman or two who are ready to entertain you.

 

[Kotaix]

I've told her before to just give me a heads up if she's feeling that way so that we can go somewhere cooler and rest up abit.

Her response is that she's too emotional to tell me at that point and i should not be selfish and take it personally.

This tells me that she builds up steam in her head before she gets to the pop-off point. This is something she needs to work on.

Buuuut, I also find it very rare and valuable when a woman actually realizes that she's overcome by emotion and can express it without going into b!tch mode at the same time

 

[Dynamited]

This tells me that she builds up steam in her head before she gets to the pop-off point. This is something she needs to work on.

Buuuut, I also find it very rare and valuable when a woman actually realizes that she's overcome by emotion and can express it without going into b!tch mode at the same time

Yup, no one goes to tired or hot in a blink of an eye. There will be signs before reaching boiling point, so to speak. I guess she needs to learn how to communicate that better before acting out.

Haha, the search for the elusive one still continues...

 

[Glassguy]

Had a chick like this but she was like yours x1000.
This is a real example: Asked me to stop and get food and they put pickles on her cheeseburger, she said not a word for 6 hours over this. This was when I was a bit younger and had more patience for stuff like this.

One day, I pick her up just to hang out at my house, watch some movies nothing special. Soon as she gets in the car she starts that stupid pouting stuff.
I get two lights, after she has entered my vehicle and not even acknowledged my presence and bang a UTurn in the middle of traffic. She says “Where are you going”

I look her in her eyes and say “You are going back home b*tch. Im not dealing with your bullsh*t today.” She behaved the rest of the day, gave me amazing head and we had a good afternoon.

That was an epiphany, an aha moment .. not just for her but women in general.

OP has yet to realize that women who act like this typically are giving the man a chance to act like a MAN. He doesn't have the balls to take advantage of the situation by essentially saying "straighten up or take your bullsyte somewhere else ".

His actions are failing miserably

 

[2Rocky]

You need to see that time coming and be scarce when she gets like that. Often it is related to her cycle....The week before her period is a good time to have something else to do like projects that demand your attention. Once she starts craving your company, then you are back in a position of being appreciated.

 

[Dash Riprock]

@2Rocky is the only one that offered a different reason/solution on this which I agree with 100%.

Before I comment, let's fly up to 50,000 feet and remember a few things, Boys and Girls 101, if you will:

- No one, including you, can be caring, loving, malleable, and friendly 100% of the time. Men, women and even dogs, and cats have bad days when we feel "off." Welcome to being human.
- Women’s biology is much different than a man’s and they are far more prone to behavior conducive with their current hormonal (im)balance and composition. Not all their behavior is carefully “chosen” as with most men.
- Sometimes you don't know what is happening in someone's personal life; health issues, $ issues, friends, family, career, etc. can all impact our behavior, even on a subconscious level.
- If you're in a marriage, or LTR you have to accept the person on their good days and bad days. I DIDN'T say accept constant, regular, continual disrespect, I SAID, occasionally, you have to deal with someone being a b*itch or ass*hole, just like you are, and not hit the eject button or start a “don’t disrespect me fight” over every little issue.

ANOTHER HIGH-PROBABILITY REASON: My 9-year LTR had horrible PMS. When we first started dating, I remember being at her place and seeing all these supplement bottles. I asked what they were for. She said PMS. I thought she got bad cramps, but it went much further than that. As time went on (and by the way she was a fantastic, responsible, in-shape, fun, and really good-looking person--we just ran our course as a couple) I actually started predicting when she'd start to go into B*itch Mode. It was about three weeks after her period (bleeding) ended. It was like clockwork. She’d get moody, bitchy, and mostly solemn and withdrawn. At first, I took it personally and then figured out what was going on. So when she'd go into B*itch Mode, I'd go fishing and hang more with friends, hike with the dog, do solo stuff. No big deal. 5-7 days later it would be over. Yeah, you could say 25% of our 9-years relationship was me dealing with it, but I could be a real p*rick too and I didn’t have PMS. Neither of us were perfect.

So, before everyone jumps to conclusions and the "disrespect" and "dump her" choir starts signing, think about what I wrote and other options. If you're searching for the "perfect" woman, you'll be looking for a long time.

Ciao,

~Dash~

 

[MrWood]

If you know a womans cycle, you can use the info to play...

go into B*itch Mode. It was about three weeks after her period (bleeding) ended

yes, so be sure not to put any choices or decisions her way

1-7 days after her period ends is the best time to go sexual on her, flirting, kino, romance, fvcking, whatever
that egg has powers and controls her desire to get it spermed, she cant control this urge... at all... its primal.

 

[flowtheory]

It probably won’t change. You’re only a handful of months in. Cut now before you become more attached. She’s showing you how she is.
Clearly you know somethings not right. Your EQ is probably higher than hers in some regards, and you will be putting up with her games and issues permanently.
when we involve ourself with someone we have to look at how they ACTUALLY are and make decisions about our future with them from that perspective.
right now I imagine you idealize her and have hope she will change these behaviours through your clear patience and understanding. I can tell you’re a good guy, but she will rip you up. Not because you’re not a man or something ridiculous like that, but because she has issues that you can't fix. And no amount of your patience, space, or understanding will rectify what is hurt or lost within her.
you want an actual relationship. She probably wants that too, but it isn’t rooted in health. She needs to evolve in her time.
mask yourself why you accept that? Don’t you deserve someone who won’t abandon you or make you feel l

On another level, continue as you are and continue to put up and understand with this. Because it is illuminating something deeper that needs to be worked on within you. I’m guessing self value.

either way, you will grow. Just remember to honour yourself and don’t take what she does personally. Conteol what you can and let go of what you can’t. But always know your value. And if you don't know your value, do some reflection.