Handling disrespect

[Fitters]

Fairly new relationship and I started noticing red flags. Last night after dinner she said something I didn't like so I called her out on it. Had to do with her tone of voice when she does not get her way. ( Aparently her own mother and brother told her the same thing. She always makes remarks of how the other guys she dated will do everything she wanted. I always insist it won't be the same and she should work on it.

Same night , we had a decent night I dropped her home but she refused to kiss me & said she will tell me why later ( I knew it was one of her fits because she didn't get her way )
Anyways she calls and I respond in a nonchalant manner then she laughs and goes "it was nothing she just didn't feel like kissing me then " I simply said okay and told her I'm going to bed I got work tomorrow.
She blows up my phone questioning my intentions and how I want to play her. (About 10 messages )

Then in the morning she tries to downplay it like nothing happened.
I told her this " Listen ----- don't try that. If you can't have a mature relationship based on communication and respect don't pretend. As much as I seen something in you to invest my time don't expect respect and my time if it's not mutual "

I know many have a different take on this type of issue , but with me it's the same as handling everyone else in life. You humble yourself but never let anyone step on you in life. Curious to see how you guys think I handled it and what you would've done differently. Also as a side note , this is a new relationship that I'm ready to walk away from.

 

[El Payaso]

If you wouldn't take the same attitude from a man, no reason to take it from a woman.

 

[RangerMIke]

Just treat her like you would with anyone that did something you didn't like. You did fine... if she keeps it up just walk away and find other women.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She always makes remarks of how the other guys she dated will do everything she wanted.

And now she's with the one guy she can't manipulate....what a coincidence.

 

[Fitters]

Update

After getting my point across , I basically ignored any messages that I considered to be excuses.
She called me and wanted to talk about the situation ( meeting her in about an hour from now )
My guess is she is going to make excuses as usual , my mindset is if I hear similar excuses she has given before. I will just cut losses and keep spinning plates.

Will keep you guys updated.

 

[stevo]

Good work DJ.

Maintain Frame.

Hopefully the relationship works out.

If it does, reread this thread months down the road to make sure you are still the man you were when you got into the relationship.

 

[logicallefty]

Woman gonna disrespect me and THEN refuse to kiss me goodnight on top of that... Ummm.. NO.. Which actually had I been in your situation, OP, she would have been the one getting snubbed on the kiss, not me.... I wouldn't have given her the opportunity to withhold the kiss cuz I wouldn't have had one for her. She would be dumped for disrespecting me. I might take her back after a good long month or so to think about what she did but only if she begged like a desperate dog.. And I would for sure go tap some other tail on our "break". I have done this scenario several times. Dumped for disrespect, and taken back. If a woman is thinking you are a man who goes your own way before this, she isn't gonna have any doubt after you do this... You will run the relationship from here on out, if she takes you back. If not, who cares.. You win either way...

 

[Fitters]

She is a manipulator....and dare I say it? I smell BPD. I would delete her number ASAP

You could be right , do you have any further signs I should look for before jumping to conclusion ?

 

[Glumix]

You could be right , do you have any further signs I should look for before jumping to conclusion ?

You do not need more signs, you are not a psychologist. They are all different.

Go for the fun as usual. Define and focus on your frame. Never fear to lose her. Use Soft-NC to the extreme. Refuse any bad behaviors and disrespect.

She's going to teach you how to keep your frame high and strong.

 

[pyros]

this girl seems like A LOT of drama, headaches etc. Besides she doesnt sound mentally stable neither mature.
Refusing to kiss me? if that happened I would send her to the curb straightaway.
Also, she doesn't seem that much into you, cause if she was, she would not be playing these weird power games...and you just started this relationship! it can only get worse.

I wouldn't consider her for a LTR, just as a fwb.

Keep this in mind.

 

[Desdinova]

she laughs and goes "it was nothing she just didn't feel like kissing me then "

I had a date with a woman once where she behaved badly throughout the entire thing and then pulled something like this. I kicked her out of my truck for being so damn disrespectful. I don't need a woman who behaves like an entitled piece of 5hit. I can go get another woman who behaves better, so why would I put up with that?

So let me ask you this.... What in hell is the payoff for putting up with this woman's 5hit?

 

[BeExcellent]

If she does something that you feel disrespects you (or if she does anything that really bugs you) of course you should mention it. I like the blunt and direct approach best myself because I flunked mind-reading. Men can be different in what they expect so be frank about what you require. You should not have to explain BASIC good/respectful behavior, only the little details if she has a feminine framework. If she truly likes you she will work to please you; she will be happy to oblige you and she will be as drama free as possible. Anything less is suspect.

A woman you would consider GF material must respect and admire you and act in a feminine way with you. Never settle for bad behavior.

 

[beforeimgone]

Good job on not buckling bro.

When my wife gets out of line. I explain to her what she did and why I didn't like it. I give her a chance to plead her case which usually results in an attempt to try and persuade me. after she finishes I issue punishment.

Keep in mind to make your anger dissipate before you punish her.

 

[manfrombelow]

Fairly new relationship and I started noticing red flags. Last night after dinner she said something I didn't like so I called her out on it.

1. Good move, however it would be better if you can elaborate what exactly was that "some thing you didn't like"

Had to do with her tone of voice when she does not get her way. ( Aparently her own mother and brother told her the same thing. She always makes remarks of how the other guys she dated will do everything she wanted. I always insist it won't be the same and she should work on it.

2. My bet this girl of yours grew up in a matriarchy family, which is a major red flag.

Same night , we had a decent night I dropped her home but she refused to kiss me & said she will tell me why later ( I knew it was one of her fits because she didn't get her way )

3. Exactly that. It's something to ignore completely, because all she wanted was to stir up some emotional reactions from you.

She blows up my phone questioning my intentions and how I want to play her. (About 10 messages )

4. In other words: You exchanged back-and-forth text messages with her, which was something you SHOULDN'T do at all. Only girls fight via texts. You're not a girl because you don't have a pvssy (well do you?)

I told her this " Listen ----- don't try that. If you can't have a mature relationship based on communication and respect don't pretend. As much as I seen something in you to invest my time don't expect respect and my time if it's not mutual "[/uote]

5. Agree 100%

I know many have a different take on this type of issue , but with me it's the same as handling everyone else in life. You humble yourself but never let anyone step on you in life. Curious to see how you guys think I handled it and what you would've done differently. Also as a side note , this is a new relationship that I'm ready to walk away from.

6. Other than the 10-messages back-and-forth text exchanging, I think you did everything quite correctly.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sounds like a soap opera. Why do guys want to date women like this? They are for banging only. Are you in your 20s OP?

Also something to keep in mind. Many men invite disrespect because they don't handle themselves properly around women which makes women have to "test" them to see how they will react. The more she is unsure about you the more tests you will invite.

Not sure about OPs situation but if you are constantly being tested by a woman you are likely inviting them by not giving her surety with your behavior around her.

 

[SW15]

Walk away from disrespect. No man is meant to deal with disrespect. Comply or bye. #nextset @DEEZEDBRAH

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Walk away from disrespect. No man is meant to deal with disrespect. Comply or bye. #nextset @DEEZEDBRAH

+1

Fellas can better spend time building a biz and acquiring hotter younger girls.

 

[bat soup]

Fairly new relationship and I started noticing red flags. Last night after dinner she said something I didn't like so I called her out on it. Had to do with her tone of voice when she does not get her way. ( Aparently her own mother and brother told her the same thing. She always makes remarks of how the other guys she dated will do everything she wanted. I always insist it won't be the same and she should work on it.

Same night , we had a decent night I dropped her home but she refused to kiss me & said she will tell me why later ( I knew it was one of her fits because she didn't get her way )
Anyways she calls and I respond in a nonchalant manner then she laughs and goes "it was nothing she just didn't feel like kissing me then " I simply said okay and told her I'm going to bed I got work tomorrow.
She blows up my phone questioning my intentions and how I want to play her. (About 10 messages )

Then in the morning she tries to downplay it like nothing happened.
I told her this " Listen ----- don't try that. If you can't have a mature relationship based on communication and respect don't pretend. As much as I seen something in you to invest my time don't expect respect and my time if it's not mutual "

I know many have a different take on this type of issue , but with me it's the same as handling everyone else in life. You humble yourself but never let anyone step on you in life. Curious to see how you guys think I handled it and what you would've done differently. Also as a side note , this is a new relationship that I'm ready to walk away from.

My reaction would be to consider is that this person is not fit for a relationship. That there's something seriously wrong with her.

If she was hot enough, I'd continue banging her until I found something better. But I'd have my eye on the door and be very careful not to let her worm her way into my life.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why did we revive an almost 7 year old thread? Did OP post an update I missed?

I will say that there are guys who take this to the extreme and seem to get off on making everything some form of disrespect and come off looking like clowns.

It's one thing to handle disrespectful behavior when it actually occurs, it's another to constantly be looking for the smallest thing to find it. That comes off looking majorly insecure with yourself and like you are overcompensating

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Why did we revive an almost 7 year old thread? Did OP post an update I missed?

I will say that there are guys who take this to the extreme and seem to get off on making everything some form of disrespect and come off looking like clowns.

It's one thing to handle disrespectful behavior when it actually occurs, it's another to constantly be looking for the smallest thing to find it. That comes off looking majorly insecure with yourself and like you are overcompensating

Some times "disrespect" is just LOW INTEREST and LOW VALUE. It doesn't feel good, and you can't ask someone to raise their assessment of you. You can say I'm not putting up with xyz, and you can also cut them off if it's too disruptive.