HAHA damn this sucks, the importance of moving quick

[captain55]

So I've been seeing this chick who lives about an hour and a half away from me. She's my dream girl, by far one of the hottest chicks Ive ever been out with.

First time we hung out we clicked instantly, made out etc. I'd say her interest level was as high, if not higher than mine was. Second time we hung out same thing, made out on the beach for hours and had an amazing conversation.

Last saturday we were supposed to get together but the weather ****ed up our plans. We ended up talking that night and she's telling me how she wants to go back to the south with me for a vacation, how she wants to meet my family, how amazing I am etc.

Were supposed to hang out last sunday, I tell her if she buys me sushi ill come see her. Now I text her this at 2 o'clock, and I accidentally fell asleep and woke up at 6 texting her saying I was about to be on my way.

she goes "aww already left with my friends for the beach for a bonfire I assumed you weren't coming"

I figured she was pissed I blew her off, but sure enough she responded yesterday and said she was down to hang out today as long as it was early.

Well sure enough she hasn't picked up her phone today. My guess is she met another guy that night...or just said **** it the distance isn't worth it.

I will say I am kind of puzzled, I've had girls go ghost but never after having such high interest level. Just a week ago she was practically encouraging me to keep seeing her, telling me that she didn't mind driving to come see me.

No doubt in my mind if she lived closer I would of ****ed her already but either way I was very close to reeling this one in, sucks... she was my dream girl in every way. Just gonna go ghost for a while and cross my fingers go back to dating other chicks, hit her up in a few months from now see if she made the move out here

 

[logicallefty]

I would text her first and say "Hey I won't be able to meet you today as we had planned. I hope all is well for you otherwise. Take care."

Then go ghost. If she responds, ignore. Contact her another time if you want but you are "tied up" today and don't have time to deal with her. She had two chances and is 0 for 2.

The "I hope all is well for you otherwise" implies that your act of canceling on her is "not well" for her, but you hope everything else for her is well at this time, other than you canceling on her today.

 

[Suspens]

Yes, if they like you then you should pound them on the first date. Otherwise they will feel humiliated and unwanted.

 

[jurry]

Sucks man, did all ya can do.. sometimes doesnt work out. Dont get down on yourself.

 

[Skyline]

First time we hung out we clicked instantly, made out etc. I'd say her interest level was as high, if not higher than mine was. Second time we hung out same thing, made out on the beach for hours and had an amazing conversation.

The second a girl is that interested, just escalate into sex. Especially since you already made out with her on the first date. "Amazing conversation" could have been "Amazing beach sex" etc...

 

[El Payaso]

The second a girl is that interested, just escalate into sex. Especially since you already made out with her on the first date. "Amazing conversation" could have been "Amazing beach sex" etc...

Lol. This.

 

[captain55]

The second a girl is that interested, just escalate into sex. Especially since you already made out with her on the first date. "Amazing conversation" could have been "Amazing beach sex" etc...

I tried, she wouldn't let me come home with her on the first date. the next weekend I tried to get her to drive to me to my house but the weather ****ed up our plans.

So I ended up going out there the following weekend for our second date, great conversation and made out again. Things were going great and the week after that date she was even talking about taking a trip back home to meet my family lol. "I can't wait to see you" sending me selfies etc.

That weekend we tried to get together saturday and sunday but failed to meet up. Not gonna lie I was a bit aloof, but I didn't exactly blow her off either.

ITs already been over two weeks since the second date, IMO too much time has gone by and the connection was lost. That or she just said **** it this guys too far for me it will never work.

 

[captain55]

I would text her first and say "Hey I won't be able to meet you today as we had planned. I hope all is well for you otherwise. Take care."

Then go ghost. If she responds, ignore. Contact her another time if you want but you are "tied up" today and don't have time to deal with her. She had two chances and is 0 for 2.

The "I hope all is well for you otherwise" implies that your act of canceling on her is "not well" for her, but you hope everything else for her is well at this time, other than you canceling on her today.

Ive never had a girl go ghost on me with that kind of interest level. She's an airhead for sure, After our plans fell through on sunday she has not contacted me. Meanwhile just last weekend she was asking if I would be ok if she met my family and telling me how amazing I was. I didn't act needy or blow up her phone either, in fact when I saw her on the second date and asked her why she doesn't text me more often jokingly she's like "you just go and disappear, I didn't expect to hear from you again". I was very aloof...I feel like I did everything right, distance just ****ed it up for me. When your willing to drive two hours to see a chick it definitely shows your a thirsty mother****er I guess, thats why I tried so hard to get her to come here...but I feel like too much time has gone by.

 

[G_Govan]

You know chicks play games too right? Sometimes if they really like you, aloof behavior can hurt their feelings and they pull back. Even break up with you as a preemptive strike.

Why play the aloof game with a chick that's showing really high interest in you?

I'm not saying you hang on her every word and become needy, but you don't want to pull back for no reason either.

There's a balance for sure but you need to observe her behavior and not overreact.

 

[captain55]

You know chicks play games too right? Sometimes if they really like you, aloof behavior can hurt their feelings and they pull back. Even break up with you as a preemptive strike.

Why play the aloof game with a chick that's showing really high interest in you?

I'm not saying you hang on her every word and become needy, but you don't want to pull back for no reason either.

There's a balance for sure but you need to observe her behavior and not overreact.

I think she was playing games too.

At this point since she lives so far from me and its been two weeks since the date I doubt she will call me again, unless she runs into me in person. I Was thinking showing up to her work one day, in my experience this has worked before, they later admitted to me they admired that kind of boldness. But I don't wanna freak her out or look desperate either.

 

[MattR1984]

I think she was playing games too.

At this point since she lives so far from me and its been two weeks since the date I doubt she will call me again, unless she runs into me in person. I Was thinking showing up to her work one day, in my experience this has worked before, they later admitted to me they admired that kind of boldness. But I don't wanna freak her out or look desperate either.

Don't do that. Leave her alone. Let her contact you in the meantime and go about your business and work on getting with a new girl. Long distance relationships in the new usually don't work out. You need years of investment from both people to do it. I've tried new ones, never worked. I've also been out with a girl before and really clicked and thought things were smooth and had a similar situation to yours. I contact them set up a date, if they say they can't make it and don't counter I leave it alone.

 

[Bingo-Player]

OP She is clearly pissd at you for blowing her off and has used the opportunity as leverage to start the game , a game which you won’t win if you decide to play

I’ve done this a couple of times in the past thinking i was being clever and “playing the game” and its backfired on me nearly every single time

Unfortunately in these early stages of attraction it is a lot easier for a woman to “get over” a man , I’ve seen them do it in as little as 3 days depending on how hot she is and how many orbiters she’s got ,If she gets to this point and she knows that you still care you are fvcked you have nothing left to bargain with and she knows she is running the show

These days i keep my interest level firmly on par with hers i mirror her, fvck all that availability crap if she’s wet for me and wants to see me i got no problem with seeing her ive learnt the hard way that sometimes playing it too cool can drive her to sit upon another man’s c0ck ( and trust me that hurts a lot more than a flake does)

Don’t get me wrong if she doesn’t suggest meeting or goes cold on me then so i do i..........but that’s all part of mastering your emotional attachment and outcome dependency

A situation like this one is difficult enough to rectify without the added distance barrier you both have ...........i will offer my advice to spare you a potential month of agony and advise you go ghost now and let her reach out to you

 

[captain55]

She just texted me "hey do you think we can talk when you get a chance"

Not sure if this is a test? Please advise

 

[Bingo-Player]

no test

talk

 

[Yorkex]

Go for the kill man , make plans and try to sex her.
If you find out she just wanted attention then go missing for good.

 

[Anteros]

Talk, be honest. Don't act very aloof if this matters to this girl, and specially if you really like her. You should say just that, that you like her.

 

[captain55]

Talk, be honest. Don't act very aloof if this matters to this girl, and specially if you really like her. You should say just that, that you like her.

She apologized for flaking, told me she has a lot going on because of the divorce she's going through and she doesn't want to drag me into it.

Im like well I hope your over that dude cause I really like you.


Im a bit ticked off, I even asked about her ex husband on the first date and she assured me they were done. who knows..

 

[Anteros]

^Divorces are a messy process. Don't overthink it. Just go with the flow and if she's ready she'll be there.

It's a good thing you show to her that she matters to you in a convincing way, you know, without making her (or making her feel like she's) the center of your life right now.