Had To Cut This Date Short

[Georgepithyou]

Bit of context before we get started, I'm in Sydney,Australia and this date was from Tinder.

So met this Asian woman from Tinder, we texted and agreed to go on a date at this new Burger joint I've been wanting to go for weeks now. While we were texting she mentioned how she wanted a double date with this couple she knows, i refused it and she agreed to meet alone.

So we meet up and soon after we start talking she insists we go see a movie instead, she wanted to watch some horror movie that i couldn't care less about. I found this pretty disrespectful but I let it slide since I have been on a dry streak. She insisted a couple more times before i told her off.

Anyways we get to the burger joint, we sit down with our menus. She keeps texting on her iPhone in front of me. Insisting we go meet her friend and her boyfriend in the city centre.
Again she was trying to change the venue and third wheel me on some meetup with another couple.

I politely told her leave, she stormed off and blocked me on all social media shortly after. I enjoyed my burger and milkshake alone and learnt a valuable lesson.

Never allow and tolerate disrespect, I can't imagine any guy who would have agreed to her venue changes. This woman had no respect for me or my time and probably wanted to friendzone me or something.

Anyone had an experience like this?

 

[rjc149]

So -- did you end up seeing the movie she wanted, before going to the burger joint? In other words, did you fold to her right off the bat?

"Sure, we can see the movie after burgers. I'm pretty hungry!"

Texting right in front of you,

"Stop, you don't have any friends. Put your phone away." with a smile.

If she keeps at her phone (common for your age cohort).

"Seriously though, I asked you to put your phone away. Could you please?"

Any more pushback, you toss a bill on the table and nod at her with a smile "enjoy your evening." So in the end, you handled this correctly.

My advice, first date should always be at a bar for drinks, if you drink. It's less awkward, anxiety-inducing, and intimidating for women than meeting up for sit-down food. I think that's why she kept trying to either take her friend, or eject.

If you don't drink, then coffee is a poor alternative but it's similarly low-investment and easier for her to go along.

 

[Georgepithyou]

So -- did you end up seeing the movie she wanted, before going to the burger joint? In other words, did you fold to her right off the bat?

I refused despite her asking 3 times, I have zero interest in generic horror films.

Any more pushback, you toss a bill on the table and nod at her with a smile "enjoy your evening." So in the end, you handled this correctly.

Sure I could've turned this around with enough game but I've been eating clean and working out all week, this burger was my cheat meal and I felt like i earnt it. I think i took it personally that she wanted to change plans.

My advice, first date should always be at a bar for drinks, if you drink. It's less awkward, anxiety-inducing, and intimidating for women than meeting up for sit-down food. I think that's why she kept trying to either take her friend, or eject.

From now on all firdt dates will be a drink, thank you for that advice

 

[Black Widow Void]

Sir, you got the last laugh.

With almost absolute certainty, I can guarantee that she told her friends about her date (you) and just as likely... she (without your consent) had already committed you both to hang out with her friends.

Prop your feet up and have a cigar... and just think about the deserving humiliation and embarrassment this self-consumed gal went through. She either had to arrive dateless and be the third wheel with her friends... or cancelled on her friends and had to explain why you cut the date short.

Cheers!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Good job! F that...this woman is not worth anything and definitely not worth spending any money on.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Well done!

After a few juvenile careless undertakings, i avoided double dates like cancer at least until i had fvcked the girl. When i dont even know my date, why would i waste my time with complete strangers that i have no business with?

Hunters isolate their prey from the herd.

For me, coffee allways worked best for a first date. Most first dates i set after work, so they didnt impede my spare time/weekend plans.
If i liked her and there was chemistry going, i allways could switch to drinks in a bar or even dinner after that coffee. If not, i would be gone after 30 minutes and still had the evening for me.

 

[CoandaEffect]

Well done, handled that perfectly.

 

[Lookatu]

You dodged a bullet and handled the situation well. Talk about high maintenance and controlling behavior on her part. sheesh!

The cynic in me would've amplified and agreed but after eating at the burger joint and agreeing to meet her friends after at the movie, I would've "excused myself to the bathroom" and left and have her stuck with the bill. LOL

 

[nismo-4]

You dodged a missile mate! Forget a bullet!

For you, she was just looking to get you as a beta friend she can control. Since you're in Sydney AU, she didn't see you as Steve or Shane. But you at least cut her off! Good on ya mate!

You don't need a woman like that in your life.

 

[bat soup]

Bit of context before we get started, I'm in Sydney,Australia and this date was from Tinder.

So met this Asian woman from Tinder, we texted and agreed to go on a date at this new Burger joint I've been wanting to go for weeks now. While we were texting she mentioned how she wanted a double date with this couple she knows, i refused it and she agreed to meet alone.

So we meet up and soon after we start talking she insists we go see a movie instead, she wanted to watch some horror movie that i couldn't care less about. I found this pretty disrespectful but I let it slide since I have been on a dry streak. She insisted a couple more times before i told her off.

Anyways we get to the burger joint, we sit down with our menus. She keeps texting on her iPhone in front of me. Insisting we go meet her friend and her boyfriend in the city centre.
Again she was trying to change the venue and third wheel me on some meetup with another couple.

I politely told her leave, she stormed off and blocked me on all social media shortly after. I enjoyed my burger and milkshake alone and learnt a valuable lesson.

Never allow and tolerate disrespect, I can't imagine any guy who would have agreed to her venue changes. This woman had no respect for me or my time and probably wanted to friendzone me or something.

Anyone had an experience like this?

Yes, I've met women like this.

Cooperation is the key word. She should be cooperating, not trying to bring in kochblockers or have you fund her evening activities.

You did exactly the right thing by getting rid of her. A girl with real interest wouldn't insist on leading the interaction like that. Most likely she just wanted to use you.

 

[Aeterna]

Bit of context before we get started, I'm in Sydney,Australia and this date was from Tinder.

So met this Asian woman from Tinder, we texted and agreed to go on a date at this new Burger joint I've been wanting to go for weeks now. While we were texting she mentioned how she wanted a double date with this couple she knows, i refused it and she agreed to meet alone.

So we meet up and soon after we start talking she insists we go see a movie instead, she wanted to watch some horror movie that i couldn't care less about. I found this pretty disrespectful but I let it slide since I have been on a dry streak. She insisted a couple more times before i told her off.

Anyways we get to the burger joint, we sit down with our menus. She keeps texting on her iPhone in front of me. Insisting we go meet her friend and her boyfriend in the city centre.
Again she was trying to change the venue and third wheel me on some meetup with another couple.

I politely told her leave, she stormed off and blocked me on all social media shortly after. I enjoyed my burger and milkshake alone and learnt a valuable lesson.

Never allow and tolerate disrespect, I can't imagine any guy who would have agreed to her venue changes. This woman had no respect for me or my time and probably wanted to friendzone me or something.

Anyone had an experience like this?

I don't have experiences like this because I don't take women on dates anymore, especially on Tinder.

If all I'm looking for is to have sex with a woman, I'm just going to tell her straight up that I'm only looking for hookups/FWBs and invite them straight over (In NYC, nearly everything is closed and the weather is awful).

I would rather a girl tell me "I'm not like that" then go through sitting at a bar/restaurant/park talking about things I don't care about just to get to the bedroom.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I'll play devils advocate on this 1!

Tinder dates should never involve food, shlt any 1st date period shouldn't be anything but drinks. Being a 3rd wheel is when it's a couple and 1 single person.

Good for you OP but I think you might have over played the ALPHA card just a bit and you seem a bit sensitive and maybe took it all little too serious. Don't get me wrong! This broad didn't sound pretty annoying.

I'm a huge horror fan and probably would have just made fun of her about said movie. Based on a movie recommendation I'm guessing y'all are really young as in early 20's?? I haven't heard of a first meeting as a movie since high school or a little after that. HA!

"Never allow and tolerate disrespect" this I most certainly agree with. I have stepped out of comfort zones in the past and had the occasional "venue change" and believe it not it can occasionally end up being successful. You can be fluid when it comes to "having frame". Changing a venue doesn't mean you lose 'frame'. You said it yourself, you are on a dry spell. You are on Tinder to get laid right? Tinder is for 1 nights stand and/or FWB at best, correct? You're not on there trying to find a GF or wife up some Tinder slut. Lol

I'm perfectly find with the way you handled it and thought it was great, that's your personality and you wanted that burger and milk shake!

How do you even known anything about social media blocks? How and why are you even connected?

She was on Tinder and probably thought you were hot and just wanted to get laid. Believe it or not but this is what hot chicks use Tinder for.

Why is your hamster wheel thinking she would want to put you in the friendzone? This should never even cross a DJ's mindset. This dry spell I think is messing with your inner psyche just a bit.

 

[Dash Riprock]

OP, you handled this well.

The MAN should make the plan as you invited them out. I've had women want to switch everything I've already planned and I always deny or walk. She sounds like a real entitled little b*itch, honestly. I would have done exactly the same thing. Movies are a horrible choice for a first date as the idea of a date is to get the know the other person by, dare I say (gulp), talking.

Not sure what it is, but I've had really bad luck with Asian women. I find them attractive, but the ones I've dated have been really b*itchy.

And to you guys saying never order food on a date bla bla bla, F that. If I'm hungry and/or haven't eaten, I'll order food if I want. She can join me if she wants. If I like her, I'll pick up the check. If I don't, we split it. Quit over thinking it.

Good luck.

Dash

 

[rjc149]

My advice is to not have first dates at sit-down restaurants, where the very first verbal exchange is also while you're looking at a menu. It's putting a lot of expectation on the date, on the woman, and can be anxiety-provoking for the more flighty ones. There are a lot more variables. There are a lot more pitfalls. It's too formal, and it's difficult to gracefully eject if things don't click. Complete strangers you meet online are more likely to flake on dinner dates.

Meet her at a bar. Order a round of drinks. Get comfortable. Banter, chat, sip your drinks. The anxiety and jitters go away. Laughter comes more easily. You're in an environment where flirting and touching are much, much more natural, especially if you're sitting next to each other at the bar, not across from each other at a table.

Then, order appetizers if things go well, or, say "I'm hungry, there's a great place around the corner, want to join me?" then change venues to a restaurant. The venue change builds even more rapport. After dinner, take her to one more lounge or bar, where it's quiet, dark and private, and close.

 

[Glassguy]

All good advice given above. I have left three chicks while on a date, which is virtually nothing in terms of total dates over the years. I try to tough it out even if the date isnt good because I might want to stay in her social circle and smash her friends. One chick I left at a restaurant when she couldnt stay off her phone. I went to the bathroom to never return, simply texted her "Sorry, we are not compatible. Best of luck". She proceeded to apologize and that went into her calling me anything but a white boy. She got blocked.

One looked like a super model on Tinder. Met for drinks, she looked like she ate a Volkswagen for an appetizer before she got there. I went to the bathroom, never returned. Sent her a text as I drove off that said "I disappointingly left. I am not coming back. In the future you should be transparent with who you are, what you look like. If not, expect any man with value to do the same as I did". Never heard back from her.

Lastly, a situation somewhat similar to OPs story. Picked her up (had a bunch of mutual friends), went for drinks. Things got sexual between the first venue and the second. She had a coworker that was at a bar and asked us to join her and her bf. We did and several hours later I was ready to go back to her place and smash, she kept telling me to stay a little longer. 15 minutes ended up being another hour, I wasnt drinking anymore at that point because I had to drive. Instead of being a dic, I told her to catch a ride home with her friend and I left. Made out some in the parking lot before I pulled off. She texted me the next morning asking if I was mad and apologizing. I simply told her that I would let her know if I wanted to hang out again, which would be her coming over for drinks. Didnt stay in contact after that because I had several options that were as young and attractive as she was at the time.

Go to the bathroom and dont come back is the best thing in this situation. Whether or not you stick them with the bill is up to you, but by leaving and texting them while pulling off, you avoid any confrontation and drama. And dont think that doesnt get their hamster spinning when you ditch them.

 

[Stoic]

Interesting thread.

It's always trouble for men when the women try to lead.