Had great date with HotAsian9 but she rejected my attempt for a kiss

[duke007]

Slight background - I've only ever been on 4 dates before tonight. The best of these was an HB6.5.

Last Monday I walked up to a HotAsian9, chatted for 5 minutes on the way to the uni building and I got her number. I couldn't really tell how hot she was on that occasion but after seeing her tonight........WHOA she is very classy and mature looking with an amazing body!

I never would have imagined dating someone like her in my wildest dreams as an AFC. When I called her she said, "I'd love to have a coffee with you" So I took this as high IL.

She even called me to say she'd be 5 minutes late, then drove up in her car so I could hop in. She said no-one had asked to coffee before (Chinese usually have dinner she says)

We park the car, and one thing I noticed is that guys were checking us out as we were walking! So we find a nice coffee shop and take a seat.

I offer to pay the bill and she accepts - an indication that I have romantic interest in her?

That date went extremely well, there was never any awkwardness and I realised that she had a great personality (yeah i know this could sound racist...forgive me) for an Asian girl. I've met a lot of them at Uni and I find the ones who came over here from overseas to study have no personality. Either that or they are just plain weird and annoying.

But this girl and I had a lot in common and she was very interesting to talk to. You could say we had deep and wide rapport. She's not a stuck up hoe either - independent as a girl and did her fair share of indoor and outdoor chores. (ie not daddy's little princess)

EYe contact increased markedly as the date went on, and I didn't forget to kino. I used a decent amount of C+F, which got her laughing on many occasions.

I think I've finally mastered the skill of making fun of a girl in a funny way spontaneously.

Eg I accuse her of trying to jinx me after we talk about how lucky I am and unlucky she is.

- Saying she is guilty of cruelty to animals after she's talking about all the problems she's had with her pets. (and her dog is safe in China away from her )

- Her: I'm not really a sweet tooth
Me: WHAT? You don't like sweet food? I don't like you anymore. *smirk and take slight step to side*
Her: But I do like chocolate
Me: Thats more like it! *step back*

Sitting thinking now there were heaps of C+F moments I used without being too arrogant or offensive

I even bring up sexual topics about three times and she doesn't act the least bit awkward. Although, it was bloody funny when I used my vagina chin joke and she didn't know what vagina meant. (Her english was extremely good but there were just a few words she didn't know - i guess they don't teach vagina in English classes!)

When I explained it she was laughing her head off. Surely I was in, I thought.

We're walking back to the car and she insists on giving me a lift back to my car. Out of the blue she mentions going to a strip club for the first time to see what it was like (cue C+F of course). OK would you talk about this to somebody you don't like?

She parks near my car and I'm unsure what to do because a kiss doesn't seem obvious once I remove my seatbelt to face her. I do all that deep eye contact, lower voice, "did you have a great night? blah blah" and then go for a hug. I pull back, look into her eyes and say, "A kiss to cap off a great night?"

And she says no.

I stayed cool, but I didn't know if it was due to low IL, shyness, anti-slut defense or cultural issues. Surely she seemed to be enjoying herself during the date, although she never kinoed me.

I thought "fvck being a DJ," and asked her, "Would you still like to see me?"

She replied, "Yes, but I'm out of credit so could you call me?" She sounded nervous, it was pretty obvious compared to the rest of the night. She had the chance to say, "Yes, but only as a friend," but she didn't.

I left the car, walked to mine and drove off. In the time it took to do that, her car was still sitting there unmoved.

What do you think is going on?

 

[Sir Shags Alot]

dude don't act like a pvssy at the end! I know girls that wouldn't give you a second chance just because of this AFC $hit you did at the end.

Oh and my advice. Who really gives a fvck about her, you dated her once.....IMO that dosn't mean anything. Call her back in a couple dayz. If she says no, move on. Hopefully you learned a lesson.

 

[Pulsar]

Originally posted by Sir Shags Alot
dude don't act like a pvssy at the end! I know girls that wouldn't give you a second chance just because of this AFC $hit you did at the end.

Oh and my advice. Who really gives a fvck about her, you dated her once.....IMO that dosn't mean anything. Call her back in a couple dayz. If she says no, move on. Hopefully you learned a lesson.

What should he have said at the end? (to get the kiss)

Should he have just gone CF on her at that point and made some wise crack and left or what could he have done?

 

[alboh]

Obviously, since she wasn't all over your jock within 5 minutes of the date, you should next her

Seriously though, awesome job dude on landing the date! You did an altogether amazing job, don't freak out just because it went a little bit wrong. Don't overanalyze it, and don't try to get inside her head, you'll never crack it. Just relax and call her in a few days.

 

[duke007]

Thanks alboh, that's what I needed to hear.

Understanding that all Asian guys I know are mega AFCs (apart from the sosuave ones of course), I knew that a bit of AFCness wouldn't completely destroy my chances.

I really just wanted to find out if she was interested but shy or I was completely wasting my time.

I'm remembering the thread on Aussie DJing which said the girls here don't like too much forwardness and that almost being a confident AFC works. It might have been too much too soon for a girl who obviously doesn't seem to sleep around.

And doing what I did might have been AFC but it showed balls right?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Never try to kiss a girl in the car - too awkward!

She seems fairly liberal - brought up strip club on a first date. Call her and tell her to come over and do a strip tease for you and throw money down her panties!!

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

lesson learned

A first kiss should be spontaneous.
It takes practice, but you 'should' know when to move in for the kiss.
Don't EVER ask a girl for the first kiss. It creates a very awkward silence and the result is usually a peck on the cheek. Basically you're telling her to take the initiative...big no-no.

 

[duke007]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Never try to kiss a girl in the car - too awkward!

Exactly! I didn't want it to come to this. That's why I was keen to end the date standing outside her car, and then make my own way to my car.

But what happens if it is obvious that the girl wants to kiss you? Do it in the car still?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Does a kiss really matter, if you are going to see her again?

 

[ScrewIt]

haha didnt know what vagina is??

you should've said : hm...shall we revisit sexEd101 back at my place?

lol haha

well im asian and for one thing, it's true that many asian girls other than chinese like to take things slow as well. dont take this as a sign of disinterest. i mean there are girls of all types that would or would not give you a kiss on the first date.
i guess it just depends on what kind of morales/values they live by.

btw...did you tell her what vagina is? if so what did you say?? haha

 

[uniassign]

EVERYONE tries to get a kiss at the end of the date. She would have saw that coming FROM LAST YEAR!!!!!!!!!

Next time, do the "spontaneous" thing and kiss her at a high point DURING the date.

 

[alboh]

Re: lesson learned

Originally posted by Ol'BlueEyes
Don't EVER ask a girl for the first kiss. It creates a very awkward silence and the result is usually a peck on the cheek. Basically you're telling her to take the initiative...big no-no.

Of course for those of us only 5% or so on the way to DJhood (read: me) who want a nice in-between, you can always ask her in an indirect way. I had my first kiss with the girl I'm dating right now on the second date -- I wasn't getting clear signs, we were sitting side-by-side in a bar and she was talking about how she likes a guy to be dominant. So I leaned in a bit with my head slightly tilted and said "oh yeah? You want me to be dominant?" She said "yeah" so I leaned in and kissed her. By the way we were making out all over the bar like fiends for the rest of the night. At one point I was behind her, lifting her head back and sucking on her neck...in front of 60 people who were all pretending not to stare at us...it rocked

And don't forget the hair rule, which has helped me a few times.

THE HAIR RULE:
If she's OK with you running your fingers through her hair, you're almost always good to go in for a kiss.

 

[JJMcLure]

Don't worry about it. You don't NEXT because you didn't kiss on the first date.

My experience is that asian girls (who are not westernised) often do expect to take it slow.

Go ahead and set up another date, and don't apologise for trying to kiss her - that really would be AFC.

 

[VictorK]

What have you learned from this site? You don't ask if you can kiss her...you just DO IT!!!


Learn from Alboh's hair rule...that is gold.

 

[duke007]

good advice everyone.
I completely forgot about the hair rule - it would have been easy to do that during the hug.

ScrewIt: Definitely true that it depends on the girl as to whether she kisses on the first date or not. I just saw an episode of Average Joe 2 and the girl is so confident about kissing AFCs for some unknown reason. It's a good thing that this girl isn't a slvt.

And about the vagina thing, I just said, "A vagina is a girl's 'down there'," and pointed. I didn't want to be too sleazy.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Kineti[c]harms Ultimate Kiss-technique:

*DRUUUUUUUM ROOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!!*

- Build some tension with a slight silence
- Look her deep into her eyes while slowly parting your lips so they arent completely closed (I sometimes go as far as to make a face that almost reminds of a girl gasping you know the face were the eyes are sparkling of excitement, she wants to bite her lips not to make a sound etc. That kind of face, a face filled with lust).
- glanze at her lips (triangular gazing) (She will often do something like that herself, glanzing at your lips and/or opening her lips a bit or do something with them)
- Place your hand gently on her cheek/hair and do a gentle thumbstroke
- Move towards her while keeping deep and tensionfilled EC
- Kiss

*BADDABIIIIING*
Seriously its genius Ive gotten full makeouts from girls 30 seconds and 4 lines after we've met with this. It's never failed me!

 

[danziger]

You probably could have used that strip club opening...could have gone and had a look, then challenged her to do it in private...sometimes works. It's all a big game Duke, practice makes perfect man!

I enjoy reading all your field reports too, it is different down here in Ozland, the girls respond to different things (i.e. can't be over the top C+F or you look like a wanker). Melbourne is an awesome place to go out and DJ, plenty of all types to go around, therefore lots to practice on. I miss it down there, was good hunting...

 

[duke007]

You're the man KineticCharm! I'll remember that

And danziger, I wasn't clear before, she had already gone to a strip club last week and was telling me about it.

If she said she wanted to go I would've jumped at the chance!

Next time though......she has the house to herself for the next week in an exclusive bayside suburb. I'll see what I can do

 

[jakethasnake]

duke,


I hear Australian girls are freakin' easy, especially for American guys. Why don't I fly over there and tap some of that lily white Aussie poon, while you fvck that Asian broad? I know I don't look "American" (i.e. white), but I talk and act like one. It'll turn em on, I'm sure - I'm like a more exotic variety of American.

 

[duke007]

True, Aussie chicks like American accents, but American chicks are WAY easier than Aussie chicks.

I know Aussie mega AFCs who went to the States and scored many times.