Had first date with her but have some questions.

SemperFi719

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2004
Messages
86
Reaction score
0
Age
38
Alright so tonight what started out as just an evening out evolved into a date. First we saw "The day after tomorrow" at the movies, and then we went to have dinner. While at dinner we were talking and I was joking around (I had her laughing the Whole night btw) and she seemed to be having a great time. Afterwards we were waiting for her sister to come pick us up and e had some good kino while sitting at a bench. One thing I didn't do was go in for the kiss. She was primed for it my friends... I would wrap my arms around her and be an inch away from her mouth but I was against it.
I guess the only reason why I was cautious on kissing her was that I didnt have a chance to chew gum or freshen my breath before doing so, so I guess thats what was keeping me back. She was willing to kiss, I could tell that. When her sister came to pick us up all three of us were talking and I had them both cracking up atleast. During the ride she would look back at me and gaze at me with a smile on her face. And when we got to my house she held out her arms to hug me while in the front seat and I kissed her hand and she smiled when I did so, just tried to be gentleman like and keep the mystery i guess, lol.
So my question is this: Is it absolute that you should kiss on a first date or will the girl generally be turned off if she gives you the opportunity but you dont take it. I was willing to do it but my breath wasn't in check and I didnt want our first kiss to be remembered as the one where my breath was reaking. I played all my cards right boys, dont get me wrong there. But the kiss part is the only thing that gets me. Thanks ahead of time.
 
Joined
May 28, 2003
Messages
1,523
Reaction score
2
Age
38
Location
Nodferatu's Lair
you did a really good job man. I don't really see a flaw except for you should have some altoids or tic tacs on hand when on a date. If my breath was not smelling right I wouldn't have gone for the kiss either.

Just keep it goin bro, don't always be available and don't call her everyday or any of that desperate stuff, time can be your friend or your enemy.
 

NRM

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2004
Messages
565
Reaction score
0
Go swallow some mouthwash, chew some gum, and put on a jacket. Head to her house, call her out, grab her and give her the best kiss she's ever had.

Of course you didn't ruin your chances. A date's a date, and if it ended on a positive note, then it's alright. Of course you SHOULD have kissed her if you had interest in her and needed to test hers and let her know. Then again, you SHOULD have carried some gum or mints and chapstick with you at all times. Just make a habit of it.

If you brought a girl out on a date, she had a nice time, and you for sure can get a follow up date, then kiss her then. Or you can go with my original idea of going to her house now, call her out, blah blah. The first kiss will just be a sign of your interest compared to hers and letting her know you are interested. You don't have to take the rules word for word. Shit happens. I mean, I wouldn't kiss the girl on the first date if she got mauled by a dog while you walked her in the park and had her leg severed off. I just wouldn't.

Most girls don't expect the kiss in the first date. The confident people who are sure they like them, will surprise them with a kiss as a display of interest. In some ways, you should have kissed her regardless. If you were looking for a real relationship, you don't have to make out with her on the first date, just a peck on the lips and you're off. No tounge, saliva, or breath involved.

I don't think you're in bad condition. Just do something now and you'll be fine.
 

SemperFi719

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2004
Messages
86
Reaction score
0
Age
38
Thanks for the positive notes my friends. Yes the date did end on a positive note. We were talking about going to nyc in the coming weeks to hang out. Guess that if anything the first kiss will be there. Now am i safe to assume that I should wait it out for a day or two before calling her? I think that if I call her tomorrow then I will come off as desperate, just a hunch though. Just so ya know this was my first date so if I sound like ive never done this before its because I havent. :D Thanks again guys.
 

NRM

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2004
Messages
565
Reaction score
0
2-3 days is too short. You need to have an image of having better things to do, which you should do. Don't stay home thinking about her or the next date, go out and do other stuff for the time being. I say wait a good 5-7 days before you call her up again and propose the next date.

Do not leave out the kiss until a few weeks later. The first kiss is not usually some momental thing like in the movies where she's falling off a cliff and you kiss her. A nice first kiss could be when you're sitting together, looking at her, the conversation stops, no one else is around, you lean in slowly, and just lay one on her. No questions asked.

Call her up in 5-7 days, say something along the lines of "Hey, I'm free tomorrow night, let's go out to dinner, pick you up at 7." Girls dig that confident stuff. If she's busy, she'll let you know and offer another date to go if she is interested. You'd do the same.

Kiss her soon. The more time you waste, the more she'll think you might not be interested. Just remember, if you're looking for a relationship, kiss her, keep doing what you're doing, and if she's interested, she'll ask questions about becoming exclusive.

Good luck.
 

Jerky Boi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2004
Messages
554
Reaction score
0
You actually did a great job. Always remember to take some gum or mints on a date though. I forgot sometimes too. I wouldn't wait a really long time before you kiss her. I'm sure she had a good time and she'll probably think of some reason why you didn't. Wait a few days, ask her out again and do your thing. Sometimes girls like to have a kiss on the second date instead of the first one anyways.
 

Alph

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2004
Messages
23
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Think u did allright, if u had kino than it really isn`t that big of a deal that u didn`t kiss her, i myself prefer to kiss on a first date but thats only me... Anyway here`s a tip how to do it: go out, have fun then pull some c/f on her, offend her just a little bit and then grab her head and kiss her. It allways worked for me, and all the girls liked it. Remeber offend her just a LITTLE BIT.
 

SemperFi719

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2004
Messages
86
Reaction score
0
Age
38
*UPDATE*

Well, today when I was at work she came to visit me with her sister. Got nothing but good vibes from the visit. Real confident about this fella's. Hopefully my DJ training won't fail me. Thanks for the feedback, very motivational.
 

skeetman3000

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 5, 2004
Messages
14
Reaction score
0
Age
39
Go swallow some mouthwash
Swalling mouth wash is not recommended and according to the warning label if you swallow mouth wash you should contact the poison control center or your doctor right away. One time I swalled mouth wash and my stomach was in pain I felt like I was going to throw-up my intestines for several hours...
 

rjherche

Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
81
Reaction score
0
swish the mouthwash.

Next time you take her out, kiss her. I don't recommend you "Head to her house, call her out, grab her and give her the best kiss she's ever had" as your first kiss. You could scare her man if you come off as too aggressive. Some guy posted a thread about that in the main DJ discussion because he definately over did it, and he had been dating the girl for a few weeks. The girl stopped talking to him and told other people about it, and he generally ****ed himself over.

Just wait until she's really comfortable and you've got some privacy. So keep her laughing, wait for a break in the conversation, and silently and smoothly go for it. That means don't explain it or justify it with a compliment.
 

NRM

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2004
Messages
565
Reaction score
0
Heh, well it all depends on how far you are in the dating relationship and what kinda girl she is. I find that most girls like the passionate, spontaneous, confident guy. If she wanted it at the date and it didn't seem too late, the time inbetween could have been consideration time, and the kiss, an act of passion.

Girls like it when the guy doesn't just want to kiss them, they just HAVE to kiss them. Goes the same for asking for a kiss. But I think this guy is on the right track, it was only a suggestion, like the other suggestion in my other post.

I basically only see two ways in the first kiss. The slow, romantic, leaning in kiss when the conversation stops and you're both smiling and looking into eachother's eyes. And the push the girl up against the wall because you can't hold it back anymore. I find both to be appealing to a girl that is interested in you, depending on the situations. If you're sitting on a couch by a fireplace and looking into her eyes, don't try to be nifty and pounce her. Good luck.
 

Porky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2003
Messages
1,480
Reaction score
0
You should kiss her on the first date if you're getting positive signs.

I messed up royally with a girl who was literally all over me because I didn't make a move on the first date. We were in my room for a good two hours just watching a movie and talking with heavy kino. I was tickling her, hand on thighs, legs intertwined. She was sick with a cold though and I hate colds, so no kiss.

She swung by my house later on with some of her friends and even managed to wait in my backyard to say bye to me while her friends were in the front. I'm convinced that not making a move screwed up any interest she had in me.

Not to scare you - most girls aren't like that.
 

splinterkb

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2004
Messages
753
Reaction score
4
Age
38
Location
Minnesota
Not kissing her the first time gives her something to ponder and think about and have to look forward to on the next date. Remember that.
 

isotope

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2003
Messages
238
Reaction score
0
Location
Gville, Florida
she will give you a second chance. make sure to kiss her next time (when its appropriate)

also, when you know her better you can tell her why u didnt kiss her and laugh about it
 

SemperFi719

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2004
Messages
86
Reaction score
0
Age
38
Aint life a b!tch? I just found out that I leave for Boot Camp The 21st of this month as opposed to 19th of next month. Im gonna be gone for 3 months and then sparadically afterwards. I told her yesterday and she seemed kinda down about it. Oh well, we'll hang out a little before I go and we'll see how things pan out. I will definatly get that kiss my friends. But its ashame that just when things are gonna get heated up im off. Look out Marine Corps, you got a DJ Trainee coming into your ranks!
 
Top