had a date monday it went well at 1st but at the end i think IL dropped now. it over?

[drift king]

I had a date with a HB from facebook on monday, it was for only 1 hour cos she had to see her girl-friend for dinner after.. originally she tried to move our date to tuesday after she already confirmed, i said no and we should only meet for an hour.

anyway it went well, i did talk too much she seemed to be into me, but i was too forward trying to kiss close her and she didn't want to kiss on the 1st date.

anyway as the hour was up and her friend called to say she was coming by cab to pick her up, she suggested we leave and wait outside.. i obeyed (i realise now that looks afc cos she was dictating when to go etc) i wasn't sure if i should have waited outside with her till her friend came but it felt like i was following her around as she smoked outside the bar.. i kept tryna kiss close her and she told me 'you're very forward..'

then the cab came and she said her goodbyes and i said something about 'its up to you for us to meet again' something along those lines of like she had to make the arrangements. i duno why i said it.

anyway i tried calling her yesterday afternoon, she didn't pick up nor call me back, so i texted her today telling her i had a great time and that i was xmas sales shopping and going to play pool later and she should come along.

she didn't respond.

did i f up at the end of our date?

i felt as if she was turned off by my constant tries at trying to kiss her rather than sitting back and pulling away and leaving it.

shes going away on holiday on monday for about a week so i'd prob call 1 more time then next her.

i know she was on me physically cos she was telling me how she was discussing with her ex when they were together that she'd like to find out what her kids would turn out like if she got together with someone from my ethnicity.

she seemed to be into me but a full afc moves at the end, following her around, kept trying to kiss her, acted nervous, talking too much seemed to have ruined all my hard work.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

She might just not be that into you, even though she seemed like she was.

Good job identifying that those WERE AFC moves you did towards the end. Take care of that.

 

[Igetit!]

I had a date with a HB from facebook on monday, it was for only 1 hour cos she had to see her girl-friend for dinner after.. originally she tried to move our date to tuesday after she already confirmed, i said no and we should only meet for an hour.

This was actually pretty good. She wanted to move the date to another day,and you said "no". I like that. It shows that you're confident and that you're not afraid to disappoint her. You don't have to say yes and agree to everything she says in order for her to be interested in you. Another thing I noticed was that she had the date set up on the same day as she had already planned to meet up with her friends. To me,that means that at least the beginning,she was open to seeing what kind guy you were and was willing to set her girlfriends to the side to see if there was any chemistry there.

i kept tryna kiss close her and she told me 'you're very forward..'

Yeah,this was an mistake. Try to look at it from her point of view. The two of you met up for a date that was supposed to last an hour,and before the hour was even up,you're already trying to kiss the girl. Probably made her think she was a peace of meat,like she was interchangable.
In other words,she felt like she could have got up and left,and an other girl could have come and set in her chair and taken her spot,and you would have went right on acting and behaving exactly the same way. It was like you didn't care anything about her specifically,you just wanted any girl there to try to kiss on.

then the cab came and she said her goodbyes and i said something about 'its up to you for us to meet again' something along those lines of like she had to make the arrangements. i duno why i said it.

Huge DLV. This was probably worse than you constantly trying to kiss her. You shouldn't have said that. It was like you were putting yourself at her mercy,like she was in total control,and you were willing to do whatever she decided. Women want a leader,not someone to follow them around. In the beginning,when she wanted to change the date to another time,you said no. You were leading,and guess what? She followed you. Then towards the end of the date,you put her in control. Now look what's happened.

anyway i tried calling her yesterday afternoon, she didn't pick up nor call me back, so i texted her today telling her i had a great time and that i was xmas sales shopping and going to play pool later and she should come along.
she didn't respond.

Yeah,you killed the attraction. So if you do get in contact with her again,you might as well get ready for all the "I'm busy","I have to work","I'm meeting my friends" excuses.

i felt as if she was turned off by my constant tries at trying to kiss her rather than sitting back and pulling away and leaving it.

Well,at least you learn what not to do next time.

she seemed to be into me but a full afc moves at the end, following her around, kept trying to kiss her, acted nervous, talking too much seemed to have ruined all my hard work.

Bingo.

 

[drift king]

This was actually pretty good. She wanted to move the date to another day,and you said "no". I like that. It shows that you're confident and that you're not afraid to disappoint her. You don't have to say yes and agree to everything she says in order for her to be interested in you. Another thing I noticed was that she had the date set up on the same day as she had already planned to meet up with her friends. To me,that means that at least the beginning,she was open to seeing what kind guy you were and was willing to set her girlfriends to the side to see if there was any chemistry there.
Yeah,this was an mistake. Try to look at it from her point of view. The two of you met up for a date that was supposed to last an hour,and before the hour was even up,you're already trying to kiss the girl. Probably made her think she was a peace of meat,like she was interchangable.
In other words,she felt like she could have got up and left,and an other girl could have come and set in her chair and taken her spot,and you would have went right on acting and behaving exactly the same way. It was like you didn't care anything about her specifically,you just wanted any girl there to try to kiss on.

Huge DLV. This was probably worse than you constantly trying to kiss her. You shouldn't have said that. It was like you were putting yourself at her mercy,like she was in total control,and you were willing to do whatever she decided. Women want a leader,not someone to follow them around. In the beginning,when she wanted to change the date to another time,you said no. You were leading,and guess what? She followed you. Then towards the end of the date,you put her in control. Now look what's happened.

Yeah,you killed the attraction. So if you do get in contact with her again,you might as well get ready for all the "I'm busy","I have to work","I'm meeting my friends" excuses.
Well,at least you learn what not to do next time.
Bingo.

you make really good points and make it clear for me to see what i've done wrong. could you critique my other 2 threads?

your paragraph break downs make it easy for me to understand where i went wrong play by play.

 

[drift king]

also why is she not even giving me a chance to talk to her?

i mean it's puzzling.. i did really great on the date, she thought i was really funny, was definitely into me, ok i messed up towards the end but you'd think she'd still at least give u another chance, no?

obviously now after the call on friday, and the text yesterday i have to just leave it till shes back from holiday.

does not chasing them anymore really make them come back?

i have 1 more call when she comes back and leave a voicemail if she doesn't pick up then i'll have to next her.

it's really puzzling cos i did really well bar the fact i kept trying to make out with her.

 

[Vice]

How old are you dude?

And tagged, for I'd like to see how this turns out. I'm having a similar situation, although it's not quite as bad as this.

 

[Dannyrt34]

also why is she not even giving me a chance to talk to her?

i mean it's puzzling.. i did really great on the date, she thought i was really funny, was definitely into me, ok i messed up towards the end but you'd think she'd still at least give u another chance, no?

obviously now after the call on friday, and the text yesterday i have to just leave it till shes back from holiday.

does not chasing them anymore really make them come back?

i have 1 more call when she comes back and leave a voicemail if she doesn't pick up then i'll have to next her.

it's really puzzling cos i did really well bar the fact i kept trying to make out with her.

You made her laugh, she thought you were funny, that DOES NOT mean she was attracted to you. First impressions mean pretty much everything. If she's not attracted to you from the start, why should she keep seeing you? Would you keep seeing a girl you weren't attracted to? I hope not.

And no, not chasing them doesn't really make them come back. Sometimes it does, most of the time it doesn't. I think this advice is really given to get the guy to just move on, and stop wasting his own time on a lost cause.

I guess you can try to give her one more call. I hope you take this as a learning experience and remember that this is all CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Keep me updated on what happens. But most of all, keep practicing! Go meet more women!

 

[DonGorgon]

Young hot sluts have short attention spans which are shorter if they dont find you to be cute enough...

Oh and on dates never talk alot women want to do thee talking you just say stuff to make them talk...

 

[Gangster Of Love]

also why is she not even giving me a chance to talk to her?

Because apparently she is not as interested in you as you are in her. When she agreed to meet up, she had you in the "maybe" categorie, after your meeting, she has you in the "not" category. No big deal. Just like you're not going to like everyone you go out on a first date, she's decided to no pursue.

i mean it's puzzling.. i did really great on the date, she thought i was really funny, was definitely into me, ok i messed up towards the end but you'd think she'd still at least give u another chance, no?

How do you define "really great"? "funny"? Is she looking for a clown? Clowns don't get laid. "Definitely" into you? How do you mean? I tell ya, girls are nicer than us. They'll smile, be polite, go along with the flow, even when they have no intentions of ever seeing you again. Perhaps you did a lot better than you've done with girls you really are into her. Take this as just one of the many learning encounters on your pathway.

obviously now after the call on friday, and the text yesterday i have to just leave it till shes back from holiday.

Yes, give her a call one more time. Leave a message if you must. You don't want to be the stalker caller who won't leave messages. If she answers or calls back, make you are very asertive and have a definite plan.

does not chasing them anymore really make them come back?

Only when they are attracted to you and feel like they would be getting more out of your interaction and loosing more if you were not part of their life.

i have 1 more call when she comes back and leave a voicemail if she doesn't pick up then i'll have to next her.

Yes.

it's really puzzling cos i did really well bar the fact i kept trying to make out with her.

You trying to make out with her was probably the best thing you did. How many times do we read about guys here not even trying. Making the attempt was very good, but you probably over did it. Did you even escalate? As in, did you first touch her arm, hand, forearm, hair, before going for a make out?

 

[Vice]

Gangster Of Love brings up a good point; did you start touching her in a way that would lead up to kissing, or did you just dive bomb from the clouds?

 

[oakraiderz2]

Some of you dont know what youre talking about. G of love speaks the truth.

 

[drift king]

Because apparently she is not as interested in you as you are in her. When she agreed to meet up, she had you in the "maybe" categorie, after your meeting, she has you in the "not" category. No big deal. Just like you're not going to like everyone you go out on a first date, she's decided to no pursue.



How do you define "really great"? "funny"? Is she looking for a clown? Clowns don't get laid. "Definitely" into you? How do you mean? I tell ya, girls are nicer than us. They'll smile, be polite, go along with the flow, even when they have no intentions of ever seeing you again. Perhaps you did a lot better than you've done with girls you really are into her. Take this as just one of the many learning encounters on your pathway.



Yes, give her a call one more time. Leave a message if you must. You don't want to be the stalker caller who won't leave messages. If she answers or calls back, make you are very asertive and have a definite plan.




Only when they are attracted to you and feel like they would be getting more out of your interaction and loosing more if you were not part of their life.



Yes.




You trying to make out with her was probably the best thing you did. How many times do we read about guys here not even trying. Making the attempt was very good, but you probably over did it. Did you even escalate? As in, did you first touch her arm, hand, forearm, hair, before going for a make out?

yes i did escalate i did exactly what you mentioned in that order pretty much, mistake was going for the kill again and again.. i should have sat back kept talking tried once more than left it..

nothing screams desperate or too touchy than someone who doesn't lay off.

as a rule of thumb, kino escalate.. then go for the kiss.. if she resists sit back carry on talking go back to light kino and try once more later on, if still resistance then just sit back again talk a bit then end the night otherwise she'll think you're only after 1 thing?