HA, She needs 'space'

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by gc_scot
But I will add, I would still like to use this as a point of strength and make her crawl back and fill in my time.

Still unreasonable??

Im a bottom line cat so Ill give it to you the way it is:

Every man on here either secretly or openly wants to be in the postion of power or they wouldnt be here. You did the right thing and you better not feel bad about it.

The greatest asset as men have is the ability to keep our emotions in tact (need that in order to run the world), so you better not start feeling bad about what you did.

It's either her way, or your way, me personally I would rather have it my way all the time.

Good work bro!!!!!!!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

If she wants "Space" tell her to become an ASTRONAUT!!!

Keep your dignity and leave her @ss alone (literally)!!!

She is seeing/sexing another dude!!!

 

[Bonhomme]

Stay congruent

All right. But if you really want her to come crawling back, at some point you'll have to crack open that door you've slammed shut.

I was dating a gal who dissed me -- without LJBFing me, though -- and I just pulled away -- WAY away. Within a couple weeks she was calling to say how much she missed me. But I stayed too distant too long, and she eventually lost heart and ended up hating me. A (sad) lesson learned. I actually didn't realize she had still cared that much until it was too late.

Now I've been seeing a gal who still seems attracted to me, but emailed me saying she's just gotten out of a long relationship and is not ready for something like that yet (note that she did say YET), and wanted to hang out as friends.

My reaction? I told her "fine," and that I appreciate the communication, and will just date others and hang with her as a friend. Truth to be told, I had considered LJBFing her anyway. That happened early in the week. She's already showing signs that she's wondering if I'm still attracted to her. Few things are more powerful than showing you value yourself by your actions.

Your situation is different. If she tries to say you're being unreasonable, just calmly inform her that she's the one being unreasonable, and if you don't want to relate to her as a friend, why should she think she can make you?

You're holding the cards now, bro.

 

[Albion4]

I am assuming that you were going out and having a sexual relationship before she LJBFd you. In which case my response would be,

"I am sorry to hear you say that, I thought everything was going great. If that is what you want then that is what you want. But, I am not going to be around. I am still attracted (Or in love if it went that far) to you and I just can't bare to see you with another man. I will make arrangements to take care of all the plans we have made, but after that I hope you have a great life."

I would NOT go with her. I would NOT talk to her anymore except for making the arrangements to cancel or change your plans. Next you need to get out there and meet other women. Whether she's testing you or not, she'll see that you're not messing around. And if she is testing you, she will come crawling back. Otherwise you're free of her.

-Al

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Originally posted by gc_scot
But I will add, I would still like to use this as a point of strength and make her crawl back and fill in my time.

NOW THIS IS THE ATTITUDE YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD ALL ALONG.

It is now HER job to fill in YOUR time. She has to prove that she is worthy of you now. The guys on here are right. You hold the cards. Enjoy that trip with another f*ck buddy or a wingman and sarge on some women. Don't mope around thinking about the EX. Its her loss..not yours.

When you return from the trip, its a guarantee that she'll call you and try to regain that power. Leave it alone and dont worry about her. Let her soak in her misfortune. Read the DJB and get your game together.

 

[jprjrjr]

Re: Stay congruent

Originally posted by Bonhomme
All right. But if you really want her to come crawling back, at some point you'll have to crack open that door you've slammed shut.

I was dating a gal who dissed me -- without LJBFing me, though -- and I just pulled away -- WAY away. Within a couple weeks she was calling to say how much she missed me. But I stayed too distant too long, and she eventually lost heart and ended up hating me. A (sad) lesson learned. I actually didn't realize she had still cared that much until it was too late.

Now I've been seeing a gal who still seems attracted to me, but emailed me saying she's just gotten out of a long relationship and is not ready for something like that yet (note that she did say YET), and wanted to hang out as friends.

My reaction? I told her "fine," and that I appreciate the communication, and will just date others and hang with her as a friend. Truth to be told, I had considered LJBFing her anyway. That happened early in the week. She's already showing signs that she's wondering if I'm still attracted to her. Few things are more powerful than showing you value yourself by your actions.

Your situation is different. If she tries to say you're being unreasonable, just calmly inform her that she's the one being unreasonable, and if you don't want to relate to her as a friend, why should she think she can make you?

You're holding the cards now, bro.

Why would you feel like it was a sad lesson learned? She wanted her space, you gave it to her, and then she resented you? She's the one who started playing games, and you obliged. Don't blame yourself, you wouldn't want a chick like that.

 

[MrHarris]

Originally posted by gc_scot Hi all,

I have a girlfriend that wants some space!!!
Things where going realy well I wasnt pushing and she was running the pace, she started to tell her family and I was getting invites from her family with her as a couple, all off a sudden she has told me she wants space, things are getting too serious she says, then she told me that she didnt want to be anymore than friends ever! If i cant deal with that then forget it. then 2 days later I get an SMS saying thanks for coming to her Birthday Party and she hopes I can get over this so we can both move on and have fun together again, I just dont know what she wants or means..



Now I would like to tell her to go get F***** but we have planned a weekend away to cairns in 2 weeks she still wants to go (of course i paid as it was for her birthday) in July we are both travelling to the UK from OZ, i am going home for 6 months ands she is going for two years, it was kind of perfect as we where keeping each other busy and planning the trip.

HUH, you can't see why she doesn't want to emotionally attached???? As I understand it your leaving for 6 months and you want all of her love until YOU leave...right? And she is leaving for 2 years.

Woooo. You really don't see it yet? I do hope you do now that I've pointed out the why of her needing more space.

Incase you still haven't let me spell it out in plaing American English:

1. Your both going to be apart for long periods of time.
2. She doesn't want to get her heart broken when it's time for either of you to leave.
3. She being the more practical on is looking to the future also.
4. You are obviously acting way to clingy with her all ready and she being the more mature one recognizes this and is trying to save YOUR feelings before it's too late.
5. She will be f*cking other guys while she is away and she doesn't want a messy situation developing. I will bet 5 quid or pounds that you will ask her about this after reading it and make a total fool of yourself and of course she will deny it.

Now do you get it?

She is trying to save both of you from a messy situation. There is no reason for any anger here. Take the vacation with her have fun having sex with her all night long. Do not tell her that you love her ever again...do you here me? EVER AGAIN!!!


Have fun while you both can and start dating other women. NO big deal. You just got way to attached. Which is obvious from you buying her a vacation for her birthday. She should of been lucky to of gotten a card and a flower for the length of time you have both known each other my friend.

 

[Bonhomme]

Not to hijack the thread ...

But you asked a question, jprjrjr.

It was a sad lesson because in retrospect she didn't really so much dis me as vent. She made a mountain out of a molehill, and was wrong to have such a go at me. I stood firm in my conviction that I did nothing to warrant such a reaction. But once she got it out of her system, she dropped it, and she eventually halfway apologized, saying "I get like that sometimes." She had been totally, consistently sweet before then, and after then.

What I didn't realize at the time is that sometimes a gal going off about something is actually a sign of her developing a deeper trust in you, strange as it may seem. The thing to do in such a case is not to dump the gal, but to stand firm and see if it's a rare occasion or if it continues. If there's a pattern of such behavior, then you dump the gal. She was sorry, but I never let her back in.

 

[gc_scot]

Ok, guys I failed to a degree, I am still on top, havent been calling her or making contact she has been doing it, not as much as I want but she is still the one, I know she is doing this because she wants to go to cairns infact she has been giving me the I really really really still want to go with you, but in the back of my mind I know its probably just the trip she wants and I have come to terms with that, I cant be a complete bast@rd and not take her and anyway I cant change the flight or anything so I would lose $500 no price for self esteem I know but I still like her also.

Now once you have forgiven me for still taking her I need to know how on earth will I get her to want to shag me?? be nice? dinner wine all that or be a jerk??

I have 4 days on my own with her no clubs or anything just us and the reef and spa and resturants maybe the tennis court!! So no opertunity for her to go eyes else where..

Gurus????

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

When a girl says she needs "space" that means she is on another dude's jock!!! This is why she needs space because your presence is ****blocking!!! On this trip maybe this other dude is not there and considering that hos will be hos then you may have a chance on the trip - but don't beg for it!!! Keep your dignity as a man!!! After the trip she'll return to her current pimp - sorry kid, you were just the next pimp in line!!!!

Your best move is to move to the next ho in the next line!!!

 

[Donald Kaufman]

Originally posted by gc_scot
Ok, guys I failed to a degree, I am still on top, havent been calling her or making contact she has been doing it, not as much as I want but she is still the one, I know she is doing this because she wants to go to cairns infact she has been giving me the I really really really still want to go with you, but in the back of my mind I know its probably just the trip she wants and I have come to terms with that, I cant be a complete bast@rd and not take her and anyway I cant change the flight or anything so I would lose $500 no price for self esteem I know but I still like her also.

Now once you have forgiven me for still taking her I need to know how on earth will I get her to want to shag me?? be nice? dinner wine all that or be a jerk??

I have 4 days on my own with her no clubs or anything just us and the reef and spa and resturants maybe the tennis court!! So no opertunity for her to go eyes else where..

Gurus????

If you go with her you are screwed. You took a stance and now, without her having to do anything, you are reversing. If I were you I would beg for anesthesia during the castration.

This girl should have no respect for you at this point so just beg for whatever scraps her guilt for using you so blatantly will buy. Bring a plunger so she can ream you out.



... have fun ...

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by gc_scot
Hi all,

I have a girlfriend that wants some space!!!
Things where going realy well I wasnt pushing and she was running the pace, she started to tell her family and I was getting invites from her family with her as a couple, all off a sudden she has told me she wants space, things are getting too serious she says, then she told me that she didnt want to be anymore than friends ever! If i cant deal with that then forget it. then 2 days later I get an SMS saying thanks for coming to her Birthday Party and she hopes I can get over this so we can both move on and have fun together again, I just dont know what she wants or means..

Now I would like to tell her to go get F***** but we have planned a weekend away to cairns in 2 weeks she still wants to go (of course i paid as it was for her birthday) in July we are both travelling to the UK from OZ, i am going home for 6 months ands she is going for two years, it was kind of perfect as we where keeping each other busy and planning the trip.


She sent me an email this morning saying she was really looking forward to cairns, truth is if I could find someone else to take I would just to spite her.
But what I am thinking is get through Cairns have fun as friends if it has to be then just move on and treat her as one of the boys and only talk to her about the trip in July.

Q. should I just give her more space treat her mean and let her want me or just move on??

I actually do like her but she says she just dosent like me the same way, I find that a little wierd as the day before she was telling people about us and excited to see me...

Help....

If you can find someone else to go with, take them instead.

Or cancel the trip and get your money back. Tell her you still want to be friends, but you think it would be inappropriate for the two of you to be going on a romantic trip together as "just-friends".

I'd be more concerned about how, financially, you would get out of paying for her ass to go on a trip. As for the girl...give her her space.

 

[JohnJones]

If you two are friends, then there is NO reason on the planet for you to pay for her to go. If she wants to go (and personally, I'd eat the $500 or just cancel HER and go myself) then she should pay her way.