Ha Ha Ha! You have never met an AFC as pathetic as this. Count yourself lucky.

[Snoobs]

Hey thanks for checking out this post. I am a hopeless AFC and I need help.

I have been browsing the sosuave site and this message board for a descent amount of time. I have read the bible (not extensively).

I am an AFC. I have DJ qualities, but I am not good at getting girls. I have never had a real girl friend. I can get a number if I have a reason to call a girl as long is it about something besides me just being interested in her. I can have fun conversations with some girls, some girls I just don't vibe with, I realise that this is natural. It just sucks being a 25 year old virgin. For the last three years though, it has not been my choice, I would not mind some ***** from the right woman. It is starting to piss me off, so maybe that will turn me into a little bit of a jerk and end up helping me out. . . Some of it could be cultural, I live in Denver and there are a lot of psycho *****es. I don't know if thats just women in general, or my perspective since I am an AFC . . . most chicks say that I am a nice guy, I just don't have that Alpha personality or features etc.

The first thing that comes to mind for becoming a DJ is to get some records. I was thinking some Mingus, Bobbi Humphrey, James Brown, and Outkast . . .

Actually, the first thing I really need to do is update my wardrobe. I have been against looking cool since I was 10 because I thought that people should judge you based on who you are as a person, not how you look. But in the game of sexual attraction and relationships, this is just not true. It is important to be your self, but wearing a t-shirt with dates on them when they say 1998 is just pretty dorky, especially when I got the t-shirt for free. . . ok so I'll get some new gear that appeals to the ladies. I don't like GAP or any of the mainstream clothing. I like small designers that do T-shirts with funky designs. I wear jeans for the most part, but not those fake stone washed jeans that look really gay (not that looking somewhat gay helps getting women) . . .

accoutraments: I wear a ball cap sometimes. I need more caps so they don't get dirty. Only fitted. I need one of those silver watches that everyone wears, it really says that you are on the move. also, I'll stop being late all the time.

ok now that I am going to get some new clothes and get rid of the dorksville crap that doesn't do anything for me except for prolong another day for doing laundry, I have a question. Should I get a car? I can't afford it right now and I have 1 year left in college. Since I live in denver and not some college town, having a car is mad pimp. I think if I had one, it would help a lot. I just can't do it. So I will wait and improve myself from the inside.

personality: I would say that I am more introverted, than not. When I am around girls, I don't converse with them like I do guys. I always think that they have way different interests. Actually, my main interest is music and if a girl that I would be dating isn't down with good hiphop that is kind of a turn off. aiight. I'm not that funny either. I'm not good at telling stories. Kind of sucks because, those two qualities in conversation is what can really draw a woman's interest to you.

grooming: I cut my own hair to save money, I shave my head and it looks descent, the only thing is the back of my neck. I think that I should maybe go to a barber everyonce in a while for a trim. I got back hair, its not that bad, but I have never heard anyone comment about it because no chick has ever seen me naked. should I get rid of it in the hopes that if I do get laid, she doesn't freak out over it? It's maybe like 50 hairs . . . but they are dark and I am sandy blonde. I shower everyday, shave, use deodarant, wear clean clothes. not bad.

I smoke and I don't exercise that much, but I am not fat, I just don't look as healthy as I should. I just tried quitting, but that failed because I work in bars -- disc jockying and audio engineering. You think that music would help you get chicks, but not for me. never. thats not why I do it any way, but you get the point, I have access to hot chicks, I just need to get the balls to approach, converse, number close. ehh?

I'm hopeless I know . . .;-) I've met some cool girls through out my life, but I never felt needy for a girl, like there was something missing. for the last part of the summer I have started to have a wierd yearning feeling, fricking bizarre.

Anyway, if you read this far, thanks for your patience and if you have some advice or criticism I would appreciate it. I need to find some girls who are cool to hang out with.

peace.

 

[Snoobs]

21 people have read this, yet no one has something smart ass to say. or something funny. or anything?
cmon!

 

[K56Connect]

What do you want to hear? Read the Bible?

 

[Snoobs]

just that I am on the right direction. I read it, and I am checking out the techniques, some are cool and make since. some don't. am i going in the right direction?

or is it more of a personality thing that i need to work through?

 

[DjDreamer]

You seem to have a lot of potential. You're a late bloomer...

 

[Jay26]

Pft, you're not that bad, some of the AFC stories here will make your toes curl!

At least your working on cleaning up your act, that's a big step in the right direction.

 

[Snoobs]

cool thanks for your responses. my mom always said that I was a late bloomer and she's starting to bug me about getting a woman. so . . . hahah . so I told that beeyo . . . wait . . . love you mom!

so what do you do about back hair. can't afford laser. waxing? how long does it last? shaving is out of the quesition because that it will give you back-ne, which is even worse than the back hair. . .

also, I have almost no chin so I have a short beard that gives my face definition, but most chicks say they like no facial hair. Do i keep it, to give myself somewhat of a jaw or do I nix it just because chicks normally don't like facial hair as much?

 

[trajhenkhet]

Start to change inside and work your way outside. You will generate power!

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Man, try starting the bootcamp. Check out Waldens(1) recent posts and take inspiration for how much he's improved.

This site will seriously help your game (and life if you want it) - go for it. You're well on the way!

Aside: this site could be renamed "How to be a Man".

Osc.



1. Apologies if wrong name, unsure of that...

 

[Jay_VCU]

This tip helped me a lot. The most important thing is switch your style up. I'll have on a shirt and tie one day, and jeans and a t-shirt the next. Honestly, I didn't like the idea of getting t-shirts from small designers. That's your choice though. You should get a cell even if you don't get a car.

http://www.sosuave.com/quick/tip262.htm

 

[Microphone Fiend]

lol, up until I was like 14 I was like you in the whole "Forget dressing good because I shouldn't be judged on that. Then some people started dogging me on my clothes and I thought about it and decided to change my image. And it does feel good when you make a change and people notice it and start to look at you in a different way and make eye contact.

I would reccomend reading the bible as it helps you a lot and this is where the Bootcamp thread is (a must for beginners) The bible is on the very top right hand part of every page so just scroll up and click it. At times it can gett a little repetitive, but I recommend reading at least 5 threads from each category (and everything by Pook)

JUst maybe find a girl who's your friend or someone who you'd like to get t know and ask them to go shopping with you for new clothes (you don't wanna buy something played out do ya) IF you can't work up the courage or no-one accepts at least ask the women at the stores what they would recommend (it is THEIR JOB, and you get some more experience with talking with complete strangers

 

[Nicholas Hill]

Snoobs, welcome to the board my good friend.

Select the advice you listen to. That includes the advice that is difficult to grasp. Don't listen to bad statements made about you.

Most of the guys on this forum are great and will advise you for as long as they see you improving. Guys on this forum are interested in field reports - EVEN IF YOU FAIL - And its a way of building up karma.

Can I suggest the DJ FAQ?

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=31142

Nick

 

[cestmoi]

For the easier path to progressing into a DJ, would be learning the basics. I have been around for a year, yet I've learned everything except the basics. Don't make the same mistake. Sure I went from never having a girlfriend to getting my first LTR and a couple of STR and making outs. I did gain such an amazing understanding of women and the game that I became almost psychic. I knew the instant I walked into a room which girl likes me, and how much. On top of that I understand all their games and tests. I also can tell with 100% certainty who likes who and how much, who's using who. Who's AFC, tell an attention *****/gold digger/etc... from a nice girl in a few seconds. BUT WHAT"S THE POINT?!?! I didn't approach girls on the street, in the clubs, bookstore. Don't make the same mistake and spend all your time stydying the bible and all the threads here. Learn the basics first. How do you do that?

Well first read this thread on how to progress from a Newbie to a DJ:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=29968

And then join me and Microphone Fiend in the bootcamp:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&postid=278189#post278189

 

[lerxst]

Ok, here's my input.

You work in bars as a disc jockey. This will help you out immensly. Are you friends with the rest of the bar help? The barbacks, the waitress, the bouncers? No? Start there. Use some of the socializing skillz here to work your way up to approaching women. You want to be comfortable talking to everyone first. Get to know everyone, become social and start there. This will develop your 'social proof' as a cool guy that people like. That is key in a bar. And, as an added bonus, you'll gain some new friends. Use eye contact. It demonstrates confidence, but don't use to much, as that weirds out people. Do you have business cards for DJing with your cell? Get those to hand out to girls you'll be talking to while spinning. It may also open up for you getting new gigs as well.


Now the following are opinions, so, take them with a grain of salt, but here are my suggestions.

accoutraments:
The baseball caps issue. You are not Fred Durst and your cap is not your trademark. He has gone prematurely bald, that is why he wears them cause he wants to look young. Do not wear them when you are out looking to meet women. How many times have you heard a woman say "Oh that cap looks so sexy on him" ? There you go. Save the cap for other times. Hats say psychologically that you have something to hide.

You say that you work at a club and don't have any stories or whatever to talk about. Find a woman who works at the club, whose style you like, and if she's friendly enough, bring up that you are thinking of changing your style, but don't know where to start. Many women love to talk about clothesan style, and she'll be able to help you out with this. Maybe you can ask her to help you pick out some stuff. Remember, tho, only get those things you feel comfortable with. If it's not you, and you can't stand it at all, it will work against you.

Transportation issue. If you got a decent public transit system that goes everywhere you need, don't sweat the car issue yet. You are in college, it's one less hassle you will have to deal with if you don't reall need it. Cars in the city are a pain in the ass. And besides, the cars don't get you the girl, you get you the girl.

personality:
You disc jockey, surely there are girls who will ask requests to be played. Use this to open them up. If they like one artist, tell them about bands you know about that they might want to check out. Write the band/album names on the back of your DJ card and give to them. Oh yeah, get their number too. Talk about music, show that you are passionate about it. Really.

grooming:
Again, ask a few woman what they think of it, and what they think would work for you. Same deal with the back hair. You'll get the picture on what the deal is with that.

Do start to go to the gym. It will make you feel better about how you look and you will have more energy. But it starts with your attitude. Try to project that you are a fun guy who doesn't let things get to him. And not just project it, but be that guy. Be confident. Enjoy yourself. As a disc jockey everyone depends on you to keep the party going. Be the party.

 

[NoMore]

Snoobs, I also live around the denver area and i know why you mentioned that when talking about the girls. I have lived in six states and have many friends from other states, the thing we all notice is how stuck up most of the girls here are. In another state these girls would be rated a 5, yet they walk around here like they are 9's or 10's. I think it might be because there are so many afc's here that are giving all these girls the power. I was talking with my brother about this (pretty natural dj) and we agreed that we get waaay more attention from chicks here if you don't smile and just pretend you don't find them attractive at all!

I have found sometimes that the chicks that are extremely hot babes...9 +'s and 10's, are nicer than the 6's 7's. Probably because there are so many afc's around that they don't even get talked to. So, while you are working on your dj skills, keep in mind that all the women here in colorado want is for someone to be a man and not a girl.

good luck bro.

 

[matius]

James Brown

Watch me! Watch me! I got it! Watch me!
I got it! Yeeaah!
I got somethin´ that makes me wanna shouta!
I got somethin´ that tells me what its all about
Huh! I got soul an I´m super bad
I got soul, huh, and I´m super bad, huh!
Now I got a move that tells me what to do
Sometimes I tease
Now I gotta move that tells me what to do
Sometimes I feel so nice I wanna try
Myself with you, huh! uh!
I got soul and I´m super bad, huh!
I´m a lover, I love to do my thing ha
An a, an I don´t need no one else
Sometimes I feel so nice, good God!
I jump back, I wanna kiss myself!
I´ve got soul, huh, and I´m super bad, HEY!
I said I´m super bad

Right on people, huh, let it all hang out
If you don´t brothers and sisters, then you won´t know
Ha! what it´s all about

 

[MoMurda]

Originally posted by Snoobs
cool thanks for your responses. my mom always said that I was a late bloomer and she's starting to bug me about getting a woman. so . . . hahah . so I told that beeyo . . . wait . . . love you mom!

so what do you do about back hair. can't afford laser. waxing? how long does it last? shaving is out of the quesition because that it will give you back-ne, which is even worse than the back hair. . .

also, I have almost no chin so I have a short beard that gives my face definition, but most chicks say they like no facial hair. Do i keep it, to give myself somewhat of a jaw or do I nix it just because chicks normally don't like facial hair as much? [/QUOT

Could be worse man, at least your friends and family haven't thought you were a homo for not getting any all those yeasr, hang in there.

 

[Ser_i]

Originally posted by matius
Watch me! Watch me! I got it! Watch me!
I got it! Yeeaah!
I got somethin´ that makes me wanna shouta!
I got somethin´ that tells me what its all about
Huh! I got soul an I´m super bad
I got soul, huh, and I´m super bad, huh!
Now I got a move that tells me what to do
Sometimes I tease
Now I gotta move that tells me what to do
Sometimes I feel so nice I wanna try
Myself with you, huh! uh!
I got soul and I´m super bad, huh!
I´m a lover, I love to do my thing ha
An a, an I don´t need no one else
Sometimes I feel so nice, good God!
I jump back, I wanna kiss myself!
I´ve got soul, huh, and I´m super bad, HEY!
I said I´m super bad

this is my theme song now for 2 months. It's THE hottest "get ready to DJ" song out there.

just remember everyone, YOU GOT SOUL AND YOU'RE SUPERBAD!

 

[Ser_i]

snoobs I know you have good intentions to get better with this stuff, the most important thing I can tell you at this point is, NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF.

let's be honoust everyone can use any tips or tricks but in the end it is YOU who will have to do it all, so YOU are the MAN! YOU GOT SOUL! YOU ARE SUPERBAD!!

never doubt yourself,


Ser_i

 

[Santos]

Don't worry we were all in your position once. AFC's are walking in the one door and walking out the other as a DJ. We all find out we're AFC at different ages. Some are young, some older. At least you have found your saviour (this site is BRILLIANT). Realising that you're AFC and are too "nice", really is the first step.

Right, so you're working on your wardrobe and you're hygenic. Great. I'd say get rid of the back hair, if it bugs you. It can turn women off. I can't give advice on this as I have no idea. It's not the end of the world if you can't get rid of it. I'd say wax it now and again or summin.

Anyway, once you've made an effort to look and smell great, you have to move onto your MINDSET. And belive me, this is DIFFICULT. You will slide from AFC to DJ, AFC to DJ. But keep fighting and you'll become more of a DJ with every new woman you meet.

I find I do slide back into AFC mode now and again, but it's always less severe each time. I'm just telling you that you will have highs and lows, but keep pushing. I've done alot for myself because of this site. Keep trying no matter how hard it is.

I am on a high now (I atually might be heading towards my FIRST serious relationship) and I've been on 4 dates this year (Brings the total to FIVE in my whole life!). It seems all the girls want me now, but I know a low could come at any moment.

Read the BIBLE. I read it a lot. Not every day, but before a date or when I need inspiration. Find what areas you lack confidence in and WORK on them. Post here for advice when you're stuck or need guidance.

This will WORK! You just have to believe in yourself, go with your instinct. Also I think it's a bad idea to post your EVERY MOVE here. Go out on your own and make mistakes, it's the best thing to do. Also don't next girls to quickly, it's silly and you lose experience.

Good luck, comrade!
Santos