gonna take a break from posting...need to get tons more experience
hey thanks for all your replies.
i called that only number i'd kept and when i told her "hi, it's h2o" she knew exactly who i was. i suggested we 'hang out' this coming weekend, and she said it's father's day weekend and was planning on spending it with her dad. i said "how about thursday," and she said she has class. so, thinking she's just making excuses, i said "you have my #?" and she's like "the one you're calling from now, on my caller id?" i'm like "yeah, gimme a call if you want to hang out sometime" and she's like "yeah, i do, okay." even though she remembered me, i know she won't call back, she wasn't too happy that i called after flaking on her 3 weeks ago...and besides that the phone convo wasn't too great. anyway, it was worth a try i guess. i also called the other girl who's number i got the other day...left her a message and my number, and suggested she call me back so we can 'hang out' this week.
i gotta realize that just because i didn't get dates or even if i did get dates and managed to screw them up by flaking, that it's not the end of the world. i'm still confident and happy. i still have my goals intact. i know what i did wrong with these past approaches, and i know not to make the same mistakes again.
1) stop putting so much emphasis on the number, close only as a last resort
2) call 2-3 days after getting the number, if she is busy and still wants to hang out, call once to follow-up (that is not being desperate)
3) on approaches, keep being relaxed, keep doing the for my own enjoyment...and don't hesitate when girl is checking me out (regardless of how bad of a day i'm having)
4) when closing, do not just get the number; instead, set a date right there; again, get the number only just in case
5) when leaving messages, do the same thing; set a specific date...not just the "let's hang out sometime," bull****
6) don't flake if i set a date...chances that she would still want to go on a date 3 weeks later after i flaked will surely be slim
7) on the approaches, build deeper, or atleast better, rapport; the same old fluff talk about school etc won't set me apart from the numerous other guys that casually hit on her
8) on approaches (this goes with the 'better rapport' bit), get her aroused somehow...get her into that sexual state or atleast definitely flirting; remember how kristine, kelsey, and jessica were aroused and in this state (the 3 girls i flaked on after setting up dates, 2 of which i tossed their numbers, because i'm a fvcking idiot)
9) though mentioned before, the best possible pickup is when she initiates eyecontact or was already checking me out...those are freebies and should be taken no matter what
even though i have learned these aformentioned things, i do feel a bit pathetic; although i actually accepted my afc ways and began to change around january/feb, i've been on this site since sept04. it will be sept05 soon, which will mean around a year that i've been improving myself, but haven't gotten any dates yet. feel free to flame/criticize/cuss me, because i honestly deserve it.
meanwhile i post on threads that relate to cold approaches, feeling like i have some experience with them, but i still have so much to learn. i don't wanna say i'm a keyboard jockey because i am doing approaches, but i just manage to fcuk up every time something good.
i think i'll refrain from posting back until i make atleast 5 solid "connections," and actually not screw them up. i'll take notes of my experiences and give an update when i get there (it may be a while - yeah, i'm just slow like that). i seriously need to get more experience. i feel really pathetic, but i deserve to because it's my fault. i know you guys have given me great advice, and i just really need apply it more often. thanks.
