h2o's approach journal

[h2o]

another number i got today:

approach#7_

as i got up from my table to get out of the dining area, i caught an hb7 checking me out. once i made ec with her, she quickly looked down. i passed her by to get some icecream and did so slowly, because i saw she was finishing up her meal.

i approached and said "do i know you?"

her: no, i don't think so
me: because as i was leaving, you caught my eye, and i thought maybe i knew you or something
her: maybe, but i don't think so
her: well, my name is blah

if she tells her name without you asking...it's like a freaking freebie.

me: my name is h2o
(and took a minute before she could pronounce it...i had to spell it out)

she seemed somewhat hurried and was walking fast, as if trying to get away from me. (i noticed this same thing from the girl i picked up on approach#5...as if she was nervous/excited/surprised i approached her). anyway, i asked,

me: well, would you like to go for some coffee some time?
her: yeah, sure, but i'm trying to cut back on caffeine...
me: well, what's your phone number? ...why don't you just punch it in my phone? (handed it to her)

the names in my phone are all first names, and she was trying to put in her full name...i joked her for trying, and she replied: "i don't know you probably have a bunch of blahs (her name) in there (referring to my phone)" ...implying she thinks i'm that good with women?

anyway, some fluff talk pursued, and she was standing pretty darn close to me...i really wanted to go in for a kiss close. i think she wanted it too, because she was really close. anyway, i hugged her instead...i'm not really experienced at all with approaches to go for a kiss yet. i know there is a good tip on here (by PVSSY-EATER, i think it is) on how to do it, but she'd already punched the number in my phone.

anyway, she gave me tons of eyecontact and a huge smile the whole time...of course, she was checking me out, so it's obvious why.

so that's 3 numbers in a row. i'm really loving this. since i started with this new attitude, that's:

total approaches = 7
total number closes = 3

everyone...get out there and approach. you can't go wrong.

seriously though, once you start getting one or two numbers like i have now, it will become a growing habit to chat up any hbs you see. and one thing that's helped me, is that i don't make excuses anymore. for these past three days i've been studying almost around the clock for exams, and have drank more than 6 coffees a day to keep my eyelids open. so it really doesn't matter how tired exhausted, you are...having a bad day (heck, my textbook got stolen 2hrs ago in the library)? cheer yourself up and do an approach (sure made me feel a bit better).

 

[HHloser2]

Man keep up the good work.

 

[al77]

h2o, I guess you are too direct with:

"i just noticed you standing by yourself and wanted to get to know you"...

Dont say " wanted to get to know you"...it is like you ask her "Hey, lets get together sometime...". It is ok phrase to say much later on.

Say something like this"Hey! Are you in psychology\nursing\shmorsing\etc...I heard shmorsing departments is really good but it is tought to get good grades..."
Modify it, and always start with indirect convo, don't mention that you want to get to know her.. or interested in her.. or anythign like that.

For for email in the end... as it was suggested already: "It was nit talking to you, I gotta go...have a class in 5 Bye!.. Turn.. walk..Oh by the way, what's a good way to get a hold of you, do you have an email? <now, don't wait for her.. take a nice, COOLest pen you can bbuy and your business card or sombodies business card...and nad them to her> Here, write it down!!!

 

[h2o]

hey, thanks HHloser2. al77, thanks for the advice, though if you'd read my later posts you'd see that i reached this conclusion also (wish you'd told me earlier...although SOLID also gave me similar advice to open in a more situational and less direct way). i did have trouble with closing at first and i was coming off as a bit too direct. yeah, now, i usually try to find some common ground for rapport right off the bat (like being in the same class or something, like you mentioned). that way, we both get comfortable with one another. then, if interested, the girl usually introduces herself.

i'm a lot more comfortable with the phone number...heck, i've gotten over the fear of approaching already. it's just a matter of getting more numbers now, and doing something with them.

5/9/05

i don't think there's an ounce of fear left in my system. cold approaches are getting simpler and simpler.

approach#8

was walking down the street, and noticed an hb sitting on a bench by herself, waiting for the bus. i crossed the street and approached...she was even about to make a phone call when i went up to her. i said "hey" and then when she smiled back and greeted me, i used this line:

"i noticed you checking me out from across the street..."

she was an hb7 and she really wasn't looking at me, and i knew that, but i thought i'd joke with her anyway. she seemed relaxed so it went over okay anyway. made some fluff talk for a few seconds then she introduced herself. this is happening more and more often with my approaches...once i start building rapport they introduce themselves! it's awesome, just try it. anyway, i asked "would you like to go for some coffee sometime?" and she replied that she's on her way home and lives about 1.5hrs away (will be there this summer), and so i replied "yeah, that probably wouldn't work out," with a smile. she smiled and said "nice meeting you...i bet i'll see you on campus next semester though..." and we parted.

after lunch i gave one of the girls who i'd gotten a number from earlier a call...she'd given me her dorm phone number (this is the first number i got...which i thought was the easiest damn pickup)...guess if she was really interested she'd give her cell number). anyway, i left her a message with my phone number, so if she doesn't call in 2 days i'll 'wrip up her number.'

getting a soda from the cafeteria, i asked the hb8 behind the register if she was married (had a ring), and she said "no" and smiled, i proceeded to ask if she was single, and she replied "no" to that as well. i decided not to pursue, and besides, i'm becoming to realize how difficult direct approaches are...rapport is the way to go.

approach#9

walking out of the library...heck, i went into the library for the sole purpose of finding cute chicks. since i finished exams last week, i came back to campus to finish my meals on my meal plan. since i got nothing better to do other than eat, i just walked around campus looking for girls to approach...not many cute girls at all. anyway, out of the library, i spotted an hb8.5 about to lounge in the lawn to study. she was already laying down as i approached, and we made ec, i smiled and said "hey." i honestly don't remember what i said, but the conversation flowed really smoothly, and it just so happens that someone had stolen her phone from the library, just like someone had stolen my book. i believed her though, because she only told me this after she had asked to get my number. i suggested
"would you like to go for coffee sometime?" since she would be in the area for the summer, and she said something like "yeah, sure, let me write down your number." i said that i usually don't give out my number, so she said, "ok" and simply wrote her name and her cell number for me, but said she wouldn't get her phone back in a week maybe. at that point, i trusted her, so i also wrote her my number.

i think this one was genuinely interested because even though i don't remember the exact convo (though we did have some things in common right off the bat), i do remember she said "yeah, we should definitely get together, yeah, get together and do something..." and she looked at me as if to say "do something...hint, hint" and smiled with ec. in otherwords, i think she's hinting towards her interest. in this case she also introduced herself first, which like i said before, is happening to me more often. one more thing...she's definitely older than me, because she's a year ahead in school, but that didn't seem to be a big deal at all.

approach#10

walking through the mall, this hb8 working at the pretzel stand made ec with me. i was actually walking with my dad, but after we passed the stand i told him to wait real quick. i went back and talked to her a bit, and she was actually in high school. i asked if she was single, but she wasn't...np...not much rapport anyway. but counts as an approach.

tomorrow i'll call another one or two of the numbers i got before to see if they'd like to hang out sometime. i'll try to also do more approaches if i like what i see.

1/3 isn't bad for a day.

so for my totals...though low, i am content with (though working at improving...and would appreciate more advice that could help me improve) the success rate. although, in a way, i think some of the girls (accept for the one checking me out), really did have bfs, and i don't know how much better your success rate can really get, unless you are very specific in only targeting girls you get signals from, which is not exactly what i've been doing the whole time...besides, when attempting 100 approaches, you can't always wait for her signals, sometimes you have to force yourself to be seen by her so you can make ec. anyways...

total approaches = 10
total number closes = 4

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Man, these are the best types of posts on this forum. I have little interest in tips and strategies anymore...I want to read about guys going out and just *doing* it. Thanks for the inspirational field reports. h20.

 

[iveyleeger]

great stuff!

but why not say, "let's get coffee sometime" instead of asking her if she wants to?

i've screwed up the # close by asking "do you want to..." and gotten back, "well, not really, b/c..."

but I never failed when I just said, "let me write your # down". no reason to put the burden on her at any point

 

[h2o]

2 more number closes

hey thanks ApocalypseCow2, the same type of threads are what got me going too. though i think the tips, especially the ones by 2ndTour helped me out quite a bit also.

iveyleeger: i like that...not ask and just tell, if i'd read it earlier i'd have applied it today...i'll try using that tomorrow. it also makes you more of a man, because you're taking charge and not asking for her approval or whatever. i have been using "let me give you a call sometime" and i've said it after asking them for coffee...every time i've said it (twice), they offer their number.

today, i spent a lot of time on campus, just looking for chicks to approach. i also went to the mall for about 1.5hrs, but no chicks to approach. all highschoolers, and only one hot chick, but she was with her mom! i bought a nice shirt anyway, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

i did do 2 approaches today, and closed both:

approach#11_

walking out of the library, spotted a blonde chick sitting down reviewing notes for an exam. i opened with my ultimate line "hey." when she looked up at me (was sitting on the ground), she was an hb8, but with a bit of make-up, so that drops her to hb7.5. she didn't smile, but made okay ec. i asked her a few questions like what she's studying, then her name, then if she'd like to go for coffee, then for her number. she gave me her name and number, but i stayed to chat a bit, and as we fluff talked a bit more (and found to have some similarities, though she is older than me by a few months) she smiled and i made her laugh once or twice. nice little convo.

about 3 minutes into chatting, some deaf guy looking for donations walks over, and the chick gives the guy a dollar without even thinking twice. i look over the pamphlet, and also...i guess out of peer pressure? hand this guy a dollar also. i don't know why i did it...i feel so terrible. i am a giving person, and i had about $70 on me, but i actually didn't want to give at that point, and i don't know why i did so...anyway, i parted with the girl and said "i'll ttyl" i felt like complete **** afterwards for giving that dollar...i know it's a measley dollar, but i felt like i only did it because she did it.

approach#12_

in the dining hall after finishing, as i got up to leave, i spotted a brunette hb sitting by herself, also finishing up. after dropping off my dishes, i purposely went to get an icecream so i could pass by her and make brief ec. i followed her as she left the building. she was a bit ahead, so i sped up to catch up, and i made it within 5-6ft of her. following her was cool because i noticed she had a goddamn amazing body. right after she got off the phone, i said "hey" and she turned around...with that fine body and a cute face, i'd say she was a solid 8.5.

her: hey (smile)
me: hey, how are you doing? (smiling, being friendly)
her: i'm alright thanks
me: you know, i gotta say, you are the most beautiful girl i have seen today
her: ... wow! (blushed, looked down then started smiling huge)
me: so are you single?
her: no, i have a boyfriend (said it in a tone that sounded like she would have liked to be single)

i proceeded to tell her how i finished my exams last week, so this week i was just on campus to finish up meals of my meal plan, and to basically browse around campus for hot girls to meet. the huge smile never faded from her face.

her: what's your name?
me: h2o
her: h2... h2... h2...
(so i help her pronounce it...if she cares to pronounce it right probably means she has some interest?)

me: what's your name?
her: blah
me: well it's nice to meet you (i reach to shake her hand)

and she doesn't know which hand to give me...she gives her left, and i ask "are you left-handed?" and she says "no" laughing, and we laugh a bit. after this, by her body language, i tell see she's interested, since i'm going a different direction than her, but she's facing me, and still smiling, making lots of ec (staring at me). anyway, i say...

me: would you like to hang out sometime?
her: i can't i have a bf... (same disappointed tone of voice)
me: well, why don't you give me your phone number to just keep your options open
her: well...uh, okay sure

anyway, got it from her...she seemed like she didn't want anyone to see (duh)...and i asked "so when's the best time to reach you?" and she said "i don't know, whenever" she seemed like a freshman, so probably doesn't have much of a schedule. i'll call her up sometime.

so that's 2 out of 2 today...bringing me to 6 numbers, though one is already out...got 5 numbers to call now.

total approaches = 12
total number closes = 6

btw, my second approach today goes to show that compliments, when given confidently can make a good impression. she had a bf, but still gave me her number. what's more, i was walking behind her and called out to her...so if you see a hot one getting away, approach her and don't let her slip away.

also (sorry for the long post, i know i wrote a 'btw' earlier), compared to Avatar's journal or even Pug's, I know my success rate 6/12 is sort of high for the time being. not that i mind, but at the same time, i don't want y'all to think i don't need advice. for all i know, all 5 numbers i have left may end up being useless. i called one (the first one i got), left a message, but no reply...it was her dorm #, i left message...no reply, but if she was a bit interested, she would have given her cell # like all the others. heck, girls may just be giving me their numbers to get rid of me...i'll find out sooner or later when i call them up. but anyway, i would appreciate any advice on how i could spark the girl's interest on an approach, so she'll remember me when i call her (by something other than just physical appeal). and that is, without using pre-canned material, which i absolutely despise. thanks.

 

[h2o]

i started this journal to get comfortable with approaching attractive women. now that i'm over that barrier, and can easily snag numbers, i'm setting some different priorities. Avatar mentioned this in his approach journal a while back:

Originally posted by Avatar
If anyone attempts something similar to the journal I have made, I believe the key is writing your goals down and review them everyday. You'll have no idea what this added clarity will do in achieving your dreams. Good luck to all.

My goal now is to:

-get better at making phone calls, and get some dates
-keep approaching until i reach 100 (even though i probably won't finish by june, np)

i called up two of the girls today. one lives about 1hr from me, but said she wouldn't mind driving here to go bowling on monday. i said i'd call her on monday to let her know for sure. the other girl (waiteress at strip club) was on her way out of town for the weekend. she punched my name into her phone and i told her to keep her tuesday open, and that i'd call her on monday to set something up. both convos were a bit dry, and somewhat because i was really really tired today. also, after being kicked around by an attention ***** before finding this site...and spending hours at a time on the phone with her, i was certainly making an effort to keep these calls short. even though they were dry, i think they may actually really want to hang-out next week when i call back, since i must have made a good first impression on the approach. also, i'm just not a big phone person i guess...ever since starting approaches and talking to these girls in person, actually makes me more uncomfortable when calling them. i think now i need to get over my fear or inexperience with phone calls...has anyone else felt this way?

do y'all notice dry conversations when you call #s if the girls aren't interested? i mean, they did agree to wanting to go out...but i'm not sure if they actually will. i guess i'll have to see. i'll call the other chick with the bf tomorrow, and the girl who lost her phone...hopefully she found it or got it back.

although i was very exhausted today (and a bit sore from squats yesterday), i tried to do approaches, and walked outside on campus and around the little college town we have for about an hour or two...it was damn hot, like 90 degrees and humid...and i barely saw any girls, let alone hot ones. what a waste of time and energy. i really need to think of better places to meet girls now that school is out (atleast before my summer courses start). i'll be 21 in a month, so i'll probably be hitting the clubs soon.

approach#13_

i did try one approach, and it sucked because the girl was ugly and not into me at all. it was terrible, and i didn't even try to number close. she, hb6 was sitting with her friend, hb8 who was on the phone. i noticed the same deaf guy that approached me the other day leaving them as i walked up. i walked up and the hb6 seemed to give me good ec...but from her body language i could tell she was not into me since she kept turning away everytime after she answered my questions. i started out with...

me: i thought that guy was trying to pick you up, lol
her: haha, no
(i should have replied, "yeah that's my job" but i was too tired to think of such a reply during the approach...her friend was hotter anyway)

after that it was all downhill...i just left saying "it was nice meeting you" and her friend hadn't gotten off the phone yet...they weren't students at my university anyway, so that may have been why...i've heard the girls at the school that they're from are kind of *****y and stuck-up...it's an all-girls school

i'll count that as an approach just so that my success rate becomes more realistic. i did also say a few hi's to hb5-6s...just b/c there was nothing better to holler at.

total approaches = 13
total number closes = 6

 

[JackPrescott]

Wow, this poor man has gone through HELL for the simple digits of a pretty lady that is going to land up "LJBFing" him in the future. THIS is why I despise the singles scene, and would love to be in a long term relationship again.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by JackPrescott
Wow, this poor man has gone through HELL for the simple digits of a pretty lady that is going to land up "LJBFing" him in the future. THIS is why I despise the singles scene, and would love to be in a long term relationship again.

i'm not going to disagree with you...but what exactly makes you think i'll be "ljbfed"? i'm curious because i'd like to know what i did wrong so i don't make the same mistake the next time around.

(honestly though, i don't think approaches were hell...i enjoy them for the most part now)

thanks

 

[Golden Arms]

Originally posted by JackPrescott
Wow, this poor man has gone through HELL for the simple digits of a pretty lady that is going to land up "LJBFing" him in the future. THIS is why I despise the singles scene, and would love to be in a long term relationship again.

what the hell kind of dumb sh*t is that ? He seems to be enjoying his approaches and it'll pay off tremendously in the long run. That's why I wish we had an LTR forum - all you guys who are just dying to get a girlfriend like being tied up is the best thing in the world would just post on there.

 

[h2o]

oh, the fear is definitely back. i thought i was over the fear of approaches because i had gotten used to doing them in only one environment (at school)...it's a whole different ball game anywhere else, because i'm not comfortable making rapport about everything yet.

i was helping my mom with shopping today, and while in a dept. store i noticed this cutie in the lingerie isle. she was actually on the phone and turned away from me, looking at panties. haha, i was so nervous.

me: hey (smiled) ...do you think you could call them back?
her: (looked at me, smiled...probably wondering who the **** is this guy...and ended her phone call)
me: hey, i don't usually do this, but...
her: (started cracking up)
me: how old are you? (i didn't want to be approaching a highschooler...i felt awkward enough already)
her: 21
me: ok...what's your name?
her: blah
me: my name is h2o
(i help her pronounce it)
me: so...are you single?
her: well, i'm sort of seeing someone
her: are you from raleigh?
me: yeah, i go to (name of my school)
her: yeah i go to (name of her school), but i hang here sometimes
me: are you gonna be around for the summer?
her: yeah, i'm taking a class at (name of other school)
me: well, why don't you give me your number and maybe we'll hang out sometime
her: ah, ok...it's ###-###-####
me: ok, cool, i'll see ya then
her: hahaha, ok, let me get back to this (lingerie)

i was really nervous during that whole approach, there was no convo, it was so choppy. i mean, wtf am i supposed to talk about in a lingerie isle? my god, i'd never done something like that before...has anyone tried anything like that? i mean, it's probably a great place to meet hot girls, but awkward? how the f**k do you make rapport? i don't know if i would do that again, though i'd probably do better next time.

total approaches = 14
total number closes = 7

and why the hell do girls who aren't single give me their numbers? just to get rid of me? i'd rather get rejected than get a useless number. anybody have a similar experience?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by h2o
.........and why the hell do girls who aren't single give me their numbers? just to get rid of me? i'd rather get rejected than get a useless number. anybody have a similar experience?

Yes, unfortunately this is part of the pproach/rejection process and an easy way to send us on our way away from them. It even happens to
Puerto Rican Lovers

 

[al77]

h2o,

You are doing great! Keep it up!

By the way, how owuld you explain your high success ratio every other girl gave you the digits...?

I have seen you pic - you look ok, not Brad Pitt...so it is not about looks. do you come as a persistent guy and chicks see that there is only way to get out of it by giving you their numbers?
Or you got some good EC, and they liked you?
What do you think?

 

[onyx]

hhahah man you've grown some balls in last few months...good **** man gotta give you props

the 1 with the lingerie, I would have joked about helping me pick some hot pants, or something like that

I'm still shy about approaching, im going to start the bootcamp soon. Its great reading about some one been so successful though.

-O-

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by al77
By the way, how owuld you explain your high success ratio every other girl gave you the digits...?

I have seen you pic - you look ok, not Brad Pitt...so it is not about looks. do you come as a persistent guy and chicks see that there is only way to get out of it by giving you their numbers?
Or you got some good EC, and they liked you?
What do you think?

hey man, thanks a lot for this post/question. it really made me think on my past approaches. for a while, i didn't know the answer to why i get these numbers, but i think i got it now. it all comes down to being myself.

i genuinely want to get to know them, and just relax while they open up. i let the conversation flow, ie, it's not like an interview. we just bounce off different things, find out we have stuff in common, and finding common ground is key. i talk to them like we already know each other, and on my good approaches they've said stuff like "i feel like i know you already..."

read a-unit's post on this thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=76286&highlight=bridging

that 'bridging' is what i was doing unconciously. no tips/techniques, just being chill. and for the most part, i don't talk that much, so it's more nonverbal communication. it's no wonder gunwitch method is my favorite article on this site. anyway, i wouldn't call it a "method" and i wouldn't say that you have to be overtly sexual. for example, when i'm talking, i check her out, and i don't mind her catching me glance at her tits or shapely waist every once in a while. most girls know exactly why you approach them in the first place...some even when you make eyecontact, so there's no need to hide the obvious.

that's how i feel most comfortable, and it's worked for me.

unfortunately, this becomes my problem with the phone calls, because you can't really communicate nonverbally over the phone...

so, i definitely need to work on my phone rapport. because for the most part my calls have been less than 2min, and have consisted of greeting her briefly followed by "let's do blah on blah date/time" no rapport whatsoever.

and here's where i gotta thank you again for that post/question al77, because i think when you mentioned persistence it made me realize that i lack that more than anything. so, i doubt that could be a factor in getting numbers.

big mistake. i am naturally busy, but i put off calling for far longer than i should have (a week on average)...and mostly because i thought the longer i waited the more highly she would think of me or value my time. what a moron i was for thinking that way.

also, when i did call here's what happened:

-3 girls said they would call back (took down my number and all), but never did. not interested, np.
-other times (like 4 girls), said they already had plans on blah time/date, but i was stupid and suggested doing something on short notice, like the next day. they told me to call back because they still "really, definitely" wanted to hang out with me. i never called them back. i thought that if they were really that interested they would look at my number on caller id and call me back, right?
-3 girls actually agreed to date/time, and i said i would call back that day to pick them up...or to tell them when to drive over. 2 girls were willing to drive 30min-1hr from where they lived (i know i had a "connection" with these on the approach...ones i could have kiss closed) ...anyway, i decided they weren't as hot as i thought they were when i approached them and never called them back ...i didn't give them my number, but just about everyone has caller id these days...

i guess this could be a good way to find a girl that is madly in love with me or a stalker, but for the most part i gotta do the pursuing, and i haven't been doing that. sh*t, i've missed blatant opportunities ...unless that's how you guys would do it?

anyway, i think this has been my biggest mistake thus far and i will not be so nonchalant from now on. i will call numbers and really "make the ho say no" (as they say on this site) before moving on to the next.

 

[h2o]

so i did two approaches today.

i also know i mentioned having done like 17 more a few weeks ago when i had a posting drought, but since the results and follow-ups after the approach were just as flawed as my first 15, and since i don't remember all the convos (didn't bother noting them), i'll just continue with what i have here.

i didn't do any on 6/6 or 6/7 because it was so damn hot out, like 90 degrees...in north carolina, when you factor in the humidity, it feels like 95+ degrees...it's unbearable and there's barely anyone out, let alone hot chicks.

i did do one approach on 6/7...i walked up to her, but then realized it was a girl i knew. she's that hb9 iranian chick i mentioned in an earlier post...we had good convo, ec, smiling, but i think she's just friendly...seriously, i know women love sex, but she does not want it with me (at least not anymore).

anyway, today i greeted some hbs while i walked. two didn't even look at me...had ipods. funny thing is, i ended up seeing one of those two again and number closed her. that was my second approach.

first approach_

spotted her sitting on a bench in the shade. she must have been working on hw or something. i walked up and said "hey." damn, she was like an hb9, seriously, she looked like carmen electra.

her: hi
we smiled
me: so whatcha working on?
her: some math hw
me: what math is that?

from that point on, i got into the loop of asking questions. i hate it when i do this. even though at first she may have seemed interested, and i got her number, i kept talking after that and pressed her with questions. i drove away any IL she may have had. i suck. it's just that i couldn't stand that when i asked "what do you do for fun?" she couldn't come up with anything. anyway, i wasn't so relaxed at that point, and said "cya" and left. i'd walked about a 50 ft when i crumpled her number and tossed it.

the convo didn't flow on this one, it was choppy. it was my fault. she was smiling and comfortable at first...i just made it awkward. and then i got nervous. it's always when i start getting self-concious that i screw up like this.

second approach_

the same chick who didn't look at me in the morning because she probably had her ipod music fully blasted when i walked past her. after my class, we were walking towards each other again. she's about an hb7.5 i'd say. she was going to pass on my left, so as we were like 3 ft apart, i put out my left hand a bit, and snapped my fingers, to catch her attention. here's what happened:

me: hey (smiling)
her: hi (as she smiles and stops her ipod...but kept her earplugs in?)
me: this is the second time i see you today, you walked past me once this morning...
her: (almost cutting me off) ...yeah, are you taking classes this semester?
me: yeah, i'm taking blah

and then, it just flowed. ends up we have the same major, and she lives pretty close to me and works at the mall i frequent. she does smile/laugh a bit and we make some good eyecontact. i asked her name and introduced myself as we shook hands.

she seemed in a rush and said...
her: well, i'm sure i'll see you around (starting to leave)
me: yeah...do you wanna hang out?
her: i can't right now, i gotta get to work, but i'm sure i'll see you on campus
me: okay...

and we both start turning around to leave and say bye. then, i quickly say "well why don't you give me your phone number and i'll give you a call sometime?" she said "yeah sure, do you have a pen?" and then she took a pen and paper from her purse and wrote it for me. the thing that makes me think she may have been interested is how she was relaxed and all when we chatted, and then she wrote like her nickname on the paper she gave me. the non-interested girls have written their full name or formal names. i don't know, i'll have to call to find out.

total approaches = 16
total number closes = 9

i'm just keeping count from now on to see how long it takes me. like i've mentioned before...ratios don't mean sh*t to me, especially since i screwed up with the numbers i did get, and some of the numbers are also rejections to just get rid of me, like PRL validated.

 

[rockitck]

Originally posted by h2o

comments and advice are welcome btw...

Keep it up and maybe work on swisch patterns. I am also in my own boot camp, not following the DJ Bible, just doing my own thing and getting feedback from two sites, this one and Arizonapua.com. I have to say it is interesting and I read that post about some guy (Richard) One of my sticking points is to push. Thanks for the suggestion on the post that changed your life. mad props to you.

 

[allan976]

h20, I haven't read all of your posts in this thread, but from what I've read, you're focusing too much on getting the number rather than building a rapport with the girl and getting them into a sexual state first.

Option 1: build a rapport, wait for her to go into a sexual state, then try to isolate and give both of yourselves an opportunity for sex. Once she proves to you she's ready for intimacy, THEN you can get a number and set up future dates.

Option 2: build a rapport, wait for her to go into a sexual state, but eject and get a number after the two of you agree FIRST to get together later to enjoy an activity of mutual interest (one or both of you may be pressed for time, and may not be able to get together tha day for whatever reason).

Option 3: (and your M.O. seems to be that this should be the first rather than the last). Try to get a number, even if the rapport and signs of sexual interest seem to be missing or present at a low level.

Moral of the story: the phone number is your last resort, not your first; the number is a means to an end, not an end in itself.

Moral of the story part two: if you are wondering about how to build rapport, try to approach in situations which will allow for you to do so: a coffeeshop or bar should allow for extended conversations. Sitting next to a girl on an exercise bike also allows you to chat her up. Also, don't give up after the first lull in your convo. Keep going until you build rapport, and continue to escalate, and get as far as you can, until you get a 'no.'

I really think Gunwitch with his emphasis on escalating and persistence, rather than bootcamp, with its emphasis on the quantity of phone numbers and conventional 'dates' is the way to go.

I'm at the RAFC level, so take this all with a grain of salt. Good luck. Critique of the strategies of my post are welcome.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by h2o

i genuinely want to get to know them, and just relax while they open up. i let the conversation flow, ie, it's not like an interview. we just bounce off different things, find out we have stuff in common, and finding common ground is key. i talk to them like we already know each other, and on my good approaches they've said stuff like "i feel like i know you already..."

so, i definitely need to work on my phone rapport. because for the most part my calls have been less than 2min, and have consisted of greeting her briefly followed by "let's do blah on blah date/time" no rapport whatsoever.

-3 girls said they would call back (took down my number and all), but never did. not interested, np.
-other times (like 4 girls), said they already had plans on blah time/date, but i was stupid and suggested doing something on short notice, like the next day. they told me to call back because they still "really, definitely" wanted to hang out with me. i never called them back. i thought that if they were really that interested they would look at my number on caller id and call me back, right?
-3 girls actually agreed to date/time, and i said i would call back that day to pick them up...or to tell them when to drive over. 2 girls were willing to drive 30min-1hr from where they lived (i know i had a "connection" with these on the approach...ones i could have kiss closed) ...anyway, i decided they weren't as hot as i thought they were when i approached them and never called them back ...i didn't give them my number, but just about everyone has caller id these days...

Phone convo: I am having a hard time with it, but what I figured out it is a good thing to a) idetify yourself clearly "Hi, I am h2o we have talked about XXXX next to YYYY, how is your XXXX?". Or\and say a couple of sentenced to let her used to your voice.
After that.. you may got for "what are you doing on... or ....?" Dont wait for the answer, go "Lets get together for coffee.. <watching starts at night, counting boobs in the library>".

If she says "I'll call you back".. that means she wants to bail out by lying to you directly: she is not interested. I hate this moment.

If she goes "I have plans" immediately suggest another two day (you already offered her 3 days to meet). If she still says "Plans" -she is lying again: she just wants to appear busy, and she is not interested. You might as well immeditely hang up on her "ok, bye". Think about it: she is lying to you, and she is not even embarrased about it.

I am surprised: you got dates but later changed your mind? you became like a true DJ: very selective.