Gym Approach Resulted In Sex.. But

[jhonny9546]

They also tell us to watch out for IOIs, and that a girl crossing her arms or legs isn't interested in us anymore.
So I ask this girl why she's standing in front of me and just crossed both her arms and legs, and she tells me she’s doing it to relieve the tension, because she’s so turned on she’s about to explode.


Instinct never lies. Good job, OP.

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

I’d ask her over again for drinks and to have some food delivered to your place. Sort of isolate her at your place and away from reality.

but you never know she can be hot one day and cold the next. Sometimes it’s not meant to be a one night stand but the fun factor just wears off or the seductive heat just fizzles naturally.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

They also tell us to watch out for IOIs, and that a girl crossing her arms or legs isn't interested in us anymore.
So I ask this girl why she's standing in front of me and just crossed both her arms and legs, and she tells me she’s doing it to relieve the tension, because she’s so turned on she’s about to explode.


Instinct never lies. Good job, OP.

I'll take "things that never happened" for 1000 Alex!

 

[Clockwerk50]

The way I see it is, she will either accept the invite or make some excuses not to meet.

Yeah, that’s how it usually goes, you ask someone out, they either say yes or make an excuse.

However, let’s be real here. You had the confidence to pull her on the first night, so don’t suddenly act like you don’t know what you want and start playing games. You either want to see her again or you don’t. I’m assuming you know what you bring to the table, and based on your story, you’re supposedly this super elite ‘confident’ and ‘assertive’ man so rejection shouldn’t be a problem for you, right? So seriously, what’s with the hesitation?

 

[soulforge]

Yeah, that’s how it usually goes, you ask someone out, they either say yes or make an excuse.

However, let’s be real here. You had the confidence to pull her on the first night, so don’t suddenly act like you don’t know what you want and start playing games. You either want to see her again or you don’t. I’m assuming you know what you bring to the table, and based on your story, you’re supposedly this super elite ‘confident’ and ‘assertive’ man so rejection shouldn’t be a problem for you, right? So seriously, what’s with the hesitation?

I would advise you to read carefully some of my comments.

While I was on the date with her, she mentioned how she has a crazy busy week ahead.. I made a mental note of that.. therefore I refrained from trying to rearrange another date for the following week

 

[SW15]

While I was on the date with her, she mentioned how she has a crazy busy week ahead.. I made a mental note of that.. therefore I refrained from trying to rearrange another date for the following week

Have you offered a 2nd date to her yet? Any response?

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

I’d text her with “Hey how was your day?” to see if she sends an acceptable reply

 

[Clockwerk50]

I would advise you to read carefully some of my comments.

While I was on the date with her, she mentioned how she has a crazy busy week ahead.. I made a mental note of that.. therefore I refrained from trying to rearrange another date for the following week

I am reading your comments, and I’m basing my response on two things.

First, in another post, you said a girl told you she was stepping back because you weren’t replying fast enough or putting in enough effort. Meanwhile, you were breaking down her response times, emoji use, and other details in the texting dynamic. Clearly, you had time to check your messages, you just chose not to engage.

Now in this scenario, you’re telling us you’re confident enough to pull a woman from the gym and sleep with her on the first date… but somehow not assertive enough to decide if you want to see her again, or even ask her out? She initiates texting but you are having issues reading signals and interest levels?

Yeah, I’m testing you for congruence.

Most women with options operate under a medium interest level. You could’ve easily send a text during one of your conversations such as “Hey, I’d love to take you out next week. I remember you mentioned being busy, what days work best for you? I might be heading to [insert plan] on [date], and I’d like you to join.” But again, I’m not even sure what dynamic you want with her — FWB, LTR, plate — or whether you actually want to see her again at all. You’re hovering in limbo, overanalyzing instead of acting.

If she’s interested, she’ll find a way to make it happen. If not, you’ll get your answer. Then you either adjust your approach, or move on like any self-respecting man would.

 

[SW15]

Most women with options operate under a medium interest level. You could’ve easily send a text during one of your conversations such as “Hey, I’d love to take you out next week. I remember you mentioned being busy, what days work best for you? I might be heading to [insert plan] on [date], and I’d like you to join.”

That's an acceptable text. I would change love to want/like.

That sort of text would start a focused conversation.

I’m not even sure what dynamic you want with her — FWB, LTR, plate — or whether you actually want to see her again at all. You’re hovering in limbo, overanalyzing instead of acting.

What 46 year old man doesn't want to see a slender, 26 year old gym woman again?

There would be a difference between shorter and longer term arrangements.

 

[Clockwerk50]

What 46 year old man doesn't want to see a slender, 26 year old gym woman again?

There would be a difference between shorter and longer term arrangements.

OP already smashed, she was receptive, and he has no issue cold approaching, so why overanalyze? Just ask her out again. With his confidence and pull, this shouldn’t be a strategic dilemma unless the post is more about bragging or seeking validation, but why would he need validation if he already possesses the above qualities? Still not sure how we or the forum come into the equatio. Since OP did not provide any information on the woman herself, the members here will say 9 times out of 10 to ask her out again.

 

[Divorced w 3]

OP already smashed, she was receptive, and he has no issue cold approaching, so why overanalyze? Just ask her out again. With his confidence and pull, this shouldn’t be a strategic dilemma unless the post is more about bragging or seeking validation, but why would he need validation if he already possesses the above qualities? Still not sure how we or the forum come into the equation, since the general consensus is to see 26-year-old again and smash her again, specially with the lack of information on the woman herself.

I’m sitting outside my gym posting this. A couple years ago I had a quick thing with an 8. Found out she was engaged. Then I learn she’s transferred to a trainer in my gym. I had reservations about the gym after that. I saw her working out with him. We made eye contact and i caught her watching me do a few lifts, but i won’t speak to her due to this situation. It’s ok now, but i can understand the dilemma.

 

[soulforge]

I am reading your comments, and I’m basing my response on two things.

First, in another post, you said a girl told you she was stepping back because you weren’t replying fast enough or putting in enough effort. Meanwhile, you were breaking down her response times, emoji use, and other details in the texting dynamic. Clearly, you had time to check your messages, you just chose not to engage.

Now in this scenario, you’re telling us you’re confident enough to pull a woman from the gym and sleep with her on the first date… but somehow not assertive enough to decide if you want to see her again, or even ask her out? She initiates texting but you are having issues reading signals and interest levels?

Yeah, I’m testing you for congruence.

Most women with options operate under a medium interest level. You could’ve easily send a text during one of your conversations such as “Hey, I’d love to take you out next week. I remember you mentioned being busy, what days work best for you? I might be heading to [insert plan] on [date], and I’d like you to join.” But again, I’m not even sure what dynamic you want with her — FWB, LTR, plate — or whether you actually want to see her again at all. You’re hovering in limbo, overanalyzing instead of acting.

If she’s interested, she’ll find a way to make it happen. If not, you’ll get your answer. Then you either adjust your approach, or move on like any self-respecting man would.

You lost the plot dude.

Clearly too much time on your hand, to be deep dividing into my posts.. Over analysing like some INTERNET NERD who hasn't got anything better to do with his life.

Have you tried maybe leaving your basement?

I literally feel like I am wasting my life, even responding back to you.. Yet you dedicated a damn entire page to me (thanks)

Let me explain. I really do like puzzy, especially young Asian *****.. Absolutely no reason for me to hesitate or have doubt's etc.

I simply took on board, that she mentioned how busy her week ahead is, therefore I decided to leave reaching out to her, for a little longer.

I actually messaged her yesterday and I have a date arranged for tomorrow night.. My place.. movie and pizza.. and obviously sex.

Dude seriously, find something to do with your life, other than desperately over analysing internet posts.

 

[SW15]

I actually messaged her yesterday and I have a date arranged for tomorrow night.. My place.. movie and pizza.. and obviously sex.

Fucck yeah!!! I'm glad that you sent the text message, that she was still interested, and that there's a 2nd date for tomorrow night.

 

[Clockwerk50]

You lost the plot dude.

Clearly too much time on your hand, to be deep dividing into my posts.. Over analysing like some INTERNET NERD who hasn't got anything better to do with his life.

Have you tried maybe leaving your basement?

I literally feel like I am wasting my life, even responding back to you.. Yet you dedicated a damn entire page to me (thanks)

Let me explain. I really do like puzzy, especially young Asian *****.. Absolutely no reason for me to hesitate or have doubt's etc.

I simply took on board, that she mentioned how busy her week ahead is, therefore I decided to leave reaching out to her, for a little longer.

I actually messaged her yesterday and I have a date arranged for tomorrow night.. My place.. movie and pizza.. and obviously sex.

Dude seriously, find something to do with your life, other than desperately over analysing internet posts.

Sure, I’m the one over-analyzing. Let me drop some screenshots of other members saying the same thing about you over-analyzing a situation.







Let’s be honest, the core issue here it’s the way you’re presenting yourself.

You post like this ultra-confident, experienced guy who doesn’t second-guess himself, doesn’t overanalyze, doesn’t need validation. You portray this image of a guy who cold-approaches effortlessly, pulls without drama, and keeps it moving. However, when we actually look at what you’re saying across your posts, that image starts to fall apart.

You asked a super basic question, "Should I reach out?”, and that’s part of what makes this thread so frustrating. It’s the kind of question that usually doesn’t require any analysis or group input, especially from someone who claims to be direct and experienced. Either you want to see her again, or you don’t. Most people would just make the call and move on. So, when a guy like you, who constantly presents himself as decisive and outcome-independent, suddenly pauses for feedback on a move this simple, it creates confusion, and the confusion only grows with what followed.

First it was: “Should I reach out?”
Then: “I didn’t want to seem too keen.”
Then: “She said she was busy, so I gave her space.”

When someone keeps stacking new reasons for not doing something as basic as sending a follow-up text, It looks like hesitation and validation seeker behaviour.

And let’s not ignore the congruence gap here.

You’ve posted before about dissecting women’s texts, emoji use, response times, and effort levels, clearly you think deeply about these dynamics. That’s fine. But it doesn’t match this “I just act, no overthinking, no need for validation” persona you’re pushing here.

It honestly looks like you lean into that image to avoid flack from the board. Like if you show any indecision, someone might come at your frame. But that mismatch is obvious to anyone who’s been reading your posts.

 

[Isildur1]

I think a common mistake is that a lot of guys play it "too cool" now. They let too much time lapse and the female loses interest. Attraction has an expiration date, particularly in the early stages of an interaction. Women have abundance, especially when they use apps and social media. Even a woman who isn't using swipe apps will still have other males pursuing (fewer than app users).

Let's see what happens when 2nd date offer now. If nothing, you take the W on the first date sex and move on.

i've lost far more women from playing it too cool trying to act like i have options than from being too needy - a lot of women tell me they hate it when men play hard to get through text - you should always be first to follow through and show your leadership qualities as a man and set out a plan to meet up

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

Yeah I don’t like planning dates days in advance anymore

It’s more like:
Are you busy right now?
Let’s meet up later tonight for a show
Can you meet me at the cafe in 2 hours?
Want to come over for a drink?
Wanna meet at the park later?
Let’s go window shopping this afternoon

When women work busy jobs they lack spontaneity and the feminine spirit. They need to calendar everything in and plan in advance. It’s all bla bla bla: I need to get to work. Where’s my laptop? I need to check my work phone to see about something. It’s boring af

 

[SW15]

When women work busy jobs they lack spontaneity and the feminine spirit. They need to calendar everything in and plan in advance. It’s all bla bla bla: I need to get to work. Where’s my laptop? I need to check my work phone to see about something. It’s boring af

I have had too many interactions with women who work busy jobs. Women who work busy jobs may not necessarily be careerist, Girl Boss types. Some are.

There have been plenty of times where I planned early stage dates in advance. For example, I might plan a Wednesday night date on a Sunday.

I don’t like planning dates days in advance anymore

It’s more like:
Are you busy right now?
Let’s meet up later tonight for a show
Can you meet me at the cafe in 2 hours?
Want to come over for a drink?
Wanna meet at the park later?
Let’s go window shopping this afternoon

I like this. Is this mostly in early stage interactions (pre-sex) or post sex? Maybe both?

I'd like to do more of this in the future.

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

I have had too many interactions with women who work busy jobs. Women who work busy jobs may not necessarily be careerist, Girl Boss types. Some are.

There have been plenty of times where I planned early stage dates in advance. For example, I might plan a Wednesday night date on a Sunday.

Busy women are not the best targets - Not at all.

And I’ve gotten picky about dating choices because of dating apps there’s endless women. I can be looking for a slim blonde Christian one minute and then the next minute decide I actually want an Asian yoga master hippie, and literally the profiles are all there within seconds its no problem - Like a candy store.

Last week I booked a first date on Wednesday for a Saturday meet up - Because she’s a hottie too: slim, much younger than me, the color hair I prefer, and girlish spirit. The drawback is she’s Liberal (something I avoid) and busy with the pointless office job. A hottie with tons of options who slaves away in an office like a dummy.

Anyways by Friday I double booked a new date with a tall Asian woman who lives in walking distance, so I canceled with the blonde on short notice. I told her that it was easier to meet someone else just a few minutes from my place.

So I’m also spoiled geographically. My dating app is set to 1 or 2 miles and the matches are endless. However, I’m boyfriend material and if I have fun with a babe and she is physically attractive, I’m looking for a relationship.

Liberal is the first thing I look to eliminate but sometimes I make exceptions. Since I’m in a Liberal city I’d say at least 50% of matches I get are Liberals. Not my thing at all. But they will actually send likes to me most of the time, they’re out there chasing guys - Some days I don’t even need to spend time messaging them first because my matches are piled up high.

 

[SW15]

he drawback is she’s Liberal (something I avoid) and busy with the pointless office job. A hottie with tons of options who slaves away in an office like a dummy.

Most unmarried, childless women with bachelor's degrees + in their 20s-40s will have a liberal ideology.

In the USA, a 30+ childless, White woman with a bachelor's degree + is almost always someone who possesses a liberal ideology. There's a good chance she's into feminist theory and is career-oriented.

I agree with your sentiment in general there.

Liberal is the first thing I look to eliminate but sometimes I make exceptions. Since I’m in a Liberal city I’d say at least 50% of matches I get are Liberals. Not my thing at all. But they will actually send likes to me most of the time, they’re out there chasing guys - Some days I don’t even need to spend time messaging them first because my matches are piled up high.

That's quite difficult to do in most USA cities. Most USA cities are liberal, even in USA states that tend to be more conservative.

For instance, Dallas is liberal but Texas as a whole isn't liberal.

The majority of single White women with bachelor's degrees + in Dallas city limits will be liberals.

I’m also spoiled geographically.

I am in one of the most populated USA metro areas as well. There's an argument that I am spoiled geographically.

Busy women are not the best targets - Not at all.

Agree. I encounter so many women who are busy women with office jobs in making seduction efforts.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Yeah I don’t like planning dates days in advance anymore

It’s more like:
Are you busy right now?
Let’s meet up later tonight for a show
Can you meet me at the cafe in 2 hours?
Want to come over for a drink?
Wanna meet at the park later?
Let’s go window shopping this afternoon

When women work busy jobs they lack spontaneity and the feminine spirit. They need to calendar everything in and plan in advance. It’s all bla bla bla: I need to get to work. Where’s my laptop? I need to check my work phone to see about something. It’s boring af

I think it all comes down to the Yerkes-Dodson Law. I’ve mentioned it before but it’s a study where both extremes had a negative effect: a classrooms with too few students lacked stimulation and engagement, while classrooms with too many students created stress and chaos. The best performance came from that middle ground, just the right amount of pressure to keep the focus going.

With this in mind, too much spontaneity can feel unreliable, while too much planning comes off as rigid and mechanical. The trick is to find that middle spot.

Personally, I’m more of a planner. I enjoy the anticipation and I like having something to look forward to. But at the same time, I understand the value of given up structure to impulses.